A/N: Whoo-hoo! I always love when a fic is nearing completion. I wonder if I can drag it out to be ten chapters...hmmm. Who knows, but I do apologize for the last chapter. I wanted to have the doctor scene in it, but I ran out of time, then when I tried to upload, my internet died, and a host of other stupid things. I never said that I didn't like Mustang! I mean, MSA member here, I just don't think I can write him very well. And I've said it before, but I am a cannon-freak. You're story better fit somewhere in the universe, or I'm not reading it. Though...there are some things I can forget...like the movie...but whatever, enjoy! I was being bugged by a few reviewers, so here's what Shenwaiyangtze wanted. Not that I changed the story for you, it was going to happen either way. :-P So don't go thinking you're all special or anything, love, :-P but here:

Normal is Subjective

Chapter 6

Bed rest.

Stupid medic.

He had been stuck in bed for nearly four months! He didn't want to be in bed to sleep, let alone be told he needed to stay there again. So he had one panic attack. Hyperventilated until he passed out, once. All things considered, it was a pretty stressful day, and he was angry and frustrated and...they didn't understand. No one could. He vaguely wondered if babies felt this way. That if, maybe an infant could talk, they would know and understand how it felt for everything that was so simple to everyone else was a monumental feat to accomplish.

Perhaps it was because of that pain that no one remembered their earliest years?

Alphonse sighed, wishing Ed would talk to him. It was a selfish thought, after everything Edward had sacrificed for Alphonse; the younger brother still wanted more. This was what he wanted, Ed to live his own life, but it was still lonely being stuck in the dorm room all by himself. He almost wished that something had been wrong with him. Edward had only left his side to clean up or use the bathroom while Alphonse had been recovering. He had hated feeling so helpless, but in retrospect, it had almost been nice. His brother had always been smiling, encouraging every minute thing, even when Al had been upset or frustrated. He realized that he had not seen Edward's smile in months and felt guilty for wishing himself ill.

The fear and sadness that just radiated off of Edward when he pulled the doctor away after the short examination made Al feel all the more guilty.

Edward pulled the doctor aside, Alphonse had to strain to hear his brother's soft words, but heard them as clearly as he could see the tears Edward was desperately trying to hold back. "Doctor, we..." Ed started, licking his lips nervously, he continued, "our mom collapsed. We found her on the floor unconscious not long before she died. Does..." he closed his eyes and too a deep breath, "is Al gonna die?"

The doctor patted Ed's shoulder, "He had a panic attack, Major Elric. Allow him to rest and he should be fine. I've heard rumors that he's been very ill for quite some time, though aside from being more than a bit underweight, he seems perfectly healthy. I don't have his medical records, so you might want him to be looked at by his regular physician, but I'm positive that with a little rest and a few hearty meals, he'll be fine."

Ed closed his eyes, swallowed and nodded; still looking as if he were about to cry.

How could Al have done that to Ed?!

He shook his head, Al remembered what he felt when Ed and he had found their mother lying on the floor. The fear and panic and the only thought running through their minds was that she was dead.

Al had woken up in Ed's arms. He could imagine what Ed's thoughts were when he had seen Alphonse lying sprawled on the floor in the middle of the hall. In his intense rush to free Edward from being his keeper, he was just making more work and worry. What was the right answer?

Alphonse stared at his latest alchemy book Edward had brought back from the library. Edward left Al alone in the dorm room for the most part, but had asked that the younger brother, please stay in bed. So, Ed would leave in the morning, return around noon for a minute or two with lunch for Al, and would return once again in the evening with a new stack of books for Al to read while in bed.

Al was alone for about nine hours every day, for the last four days. Alphonse thought it a bit excessive for a simple panic attack, but it gave him time and solitude to search for the answer to his question. He still had yet to find the meaning of the transmutation circle.

Ed had almost taken the books away when he had come home to Al staring in wonder at a lightly bleeding paper cut on his index finger. Al had laughed at himself when he said something along the lines of, "Brother, I...I have blood!"

Ed had laughed and shook his head, looking tired and worn and far too old, when he answered back, "Of course you have blood, silly. You're human again."

Alphonse's smile had dropped a little and he said, "Yes, I know. Thank you, brother. I don't..." he sighed, "Thank you, Ed."

Ed's smile fell, he had turned and nodded, "You're welcome."

Al sighed, researching was getting him nowhere. Maybe he didn't know what they symbols did, but he knew what they didn't do. They weren't for fire, water, earth, or air alchemy. The spaced triangles on the outside would suggest metal alchemy, but with all of them connected, and so many, they would mean something different. He just wasn't sure exactly what.

Perhaps it was not the smartest thing he could do, but the first alchemists had just drawn and activated, without knowledge, he could just try it. He tried not to think about the little anecdotes about the horrible, painful deaths that found many of those early alchemists.

He drew the array on his chalkboard and looked around for materials. He didn't have any more metal...

Wait...

Yes he did! The little figurine of his armor body that he'd made using some spare screws and useless other bits form Ed's automail maintenance kit.

He grabbed the figurine from his bag and sat back down on his bed. He placed the figurine in the center of the circle.

He took a deep breath and rubbed his fingers together nervously.

This was stupid. Every fiber of his being was telling him that he shouldn't do this. He knew how dangerous alchemy was. He needed to ask Ed.

No.

He could do this without Ed.

Alphonse closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and activated the transmutation circle.

One moment he was staring at the figurine on his bed, the next there was a horrible pulling/tearing sensation that had left him gasping, then he was staring at the ceiling. He tried to sit up, but found that he couldn't move, not even his head would turn. He whimpered fearfully and tried to look around. Everything looked strange.

That was when his eyes fell on the monstrously large hand lying next to him. He followed it up to a wrist, a white clothed arm, to his own, huge, pleasantly sleeping face. He tried to scream. No sound came from where he lay, but the sleeping face's brow furrowed, its mouth opened slightly and it gave a slight whimper.

He was the figurine.

Oh, God! He was the figurine!

He couldn't move because the figurine was not his armor. It didn't have joints or places that would bend. He struggled; trying to get the figurine to twist, turn over, something. All he succeeded in doing was getting his flesh body to roll over, knocking both the chalkboard and the figurine to the floor.

How would he get back?

He tried to yell again; to call for his brother, though he knew that Ed wouldn't be home for some time...unless he somehow lost time before he "woke up" as the figurine. Again, no sound came from where he was, but his body gave a pathetic, dream-like mumble of "Brother."

He mentally took a deep breath, he needed to think. He needed to stop the reaction. How?

Thoughts started to roll together in his mind. How could he have been so stupid? Of course he knew what that array did! It had been the only thing keeping him "alive" for five years!

Memories he hadn't known he'd forgotten filled his head. How could he have been so stupid?!

There was a soft knock on the door. He could barely see the door if he strained. He tried to call for help, only to have his flesh body whisper again.

The person knocked again, then he heard his brother on the other side. "Hi, colonel. What are you doing here?"

"Just checking on how you both were doing."

Keys jingled and the door opened, "Hey, Al..." he stopped and smiled. He turned back to the colonel, his finger over his lips, telling the colonel to be quiet. Ed set down the new library book on his bed and walked over to Alphonse's. Ed sat on the edge and brushed the hair out of Al's eyes.

Al mentally gasped. He felt the touch. It was strange and felt far away, detached, if a touch could feel that way. He couldn't stay this way! He needed Ed's help. He tried calling his brother one last time. He watched as his face filled with the fear he felt and it said weakly, "Brother."

Ed took Alphonse's hand, "I'm here, Al. Its just a nightmare. I'm here."

Alphonse wanted to growl in frustration. He needed another way to contact his brother.

Ed sighed and turned to the colonel, "He use to be such a light sleeper. I'm the one you'd have to beat over the head to get me up in the morning. Now...he sleeps through everything. I've accidentally banged my automail against the bed or the dresser and he stays asleep. But...any time he whispers in his sleep, it wakes me up." He ran his flesh hand through Al's hair, "He's been having nightmares."

The colonel looked thoughtful. "He's been waking you up?"

"No," Ed smiled sadly, "I don't sleep as much as Al thinks. I got really good at pretending to sleep while Al was in the armor. I...I like to watch him sleep. He...I'm scared that I'm gonna wake up one morning and he's going to be gone."

The colonel nodded, he looked around the room, when his eyes fell on where the figurine that was Alphonse, they stopped. Al mentally gasped, did the figurine's helmet light with the same red-fire eyes like his armor did? Could the colonel see? Would he tell Ed to help him?! "Edward," the colonel pulled a folded paper from his pocket. "Do you know what this array does?"

Ed took the piece of paper and scoffed, "Is this a joke?"

"No," the colonel said calmly.

"Course I do! That's the array I drew in Al's armor. Its the seal to bind his soul. Why?"

The colonel's eyes locked onto the figurine, giving Alphonse a weird feeling. "How does it work? The symbols don't seem to make any sense."

Ed smiled, he held onto Al's hand as he spoke, "Alchemy isn't really about the arrays as much as it's about the person. Have you noticed that when you add something of your own to an array, it can be more powerful? You added the lizard to the fire array on your gloves. I learned while I was in the Gate that...you have better success if...it means something. Not just scientifically, but emotionally. All I had was the armor to seal his soul to. So I used the triangles on the edges to show metal, the star is part of a human transmutation, but with it broken up, it just takes one part. Then...I realized that I needed something to catch just the part I wanted. It was stupid, but the only thing that went through my mind was...fishing. Al and I went fishing a lot at the river by our house. So I added the hook. To "catch" his soul. It was stupid, but...it worked."

Mustang glanced back to the figurine. "Have you spoken to Alphonse yet?"

Ed tensed and turned away from Al's body. "I...I can't. I can't ask him to stay."

"Why not?" The colonel asked, he kept glancing back to the figurine. "You said—"

"I know what I said!" Ed snapped angrily, then quieted his voice, "I don't deserve to ask him to stay. I've taken too much of his life already. Wherever he wants to go, I'll send him. If he wants to be a State Alchemist, I'll transfer so he can be under your command. You'll keep him safe, right?" He looked at Mustang worried, "You wouldn't send him on the stuff I've had to do, right? If he got hu...I can't lose him, colonel. Even if he doesn't want me around anymore, I don't know what...what would I do without him?"

Al gasped.

"Why haven't you told Alphonse how you feel?"

"I told you! I can't ask him to stay!"

"Why?" The colonel voiced Al's thoughts.

Ed turned away from the colonel to look at Al's body again, "You don't know what happened after you told me he was dead."

The colonel had told Ed he'd died? When? Just after the transmutation?

"I know," Mustang said sadly, "You tried to commit suicide."

What?!

Ed laughed bitterly, "That's what you all thought. That didn't even cross my mind until those nurses were holding me down and taking my arm. I actually transmuted the gurney into a new armor. I made my arm into a blade..." he sobbed loudly, "I just wanted my brother back! But I couldn't do it. I couldn't force him to be in that armor forever. And while I sat there...I thought he was dead and I just kept thinking that it was all his fault. Maybe if he'd just tried harder to stop me...he wouldn't have died. He wouldn't have lost his body. I wouldn't be..." he raised his automail arm and clenched the metal into a fist.

Alphonse wanted to cry. He had wanted Ed to hate him, to blame him, but now that Ed had actually said it, it hurt.

"It's easy to be angry at the dead, Edward. Believe me."

Ed continued, his flesh hand fisting in the sheets of Al's bed. "He never wanted to bring mom back. That's what I wanted. Cause I didn't want to be responsible for my little brother. I'm a monster, colonel. I can't give back what I've taken from him, but anything he wants from now on...all I want is to stay with him. When he was in the armor, he needed me. He stayed with me for a reason. Now...I wanted him to hate me. He has every reason to. I just wish he wants to stay. I want him to forgive me, but I can't ask him to."

Al's heart filled with a strange sort of happiness. How stupid they were! Ed's sadness was not because he was being forced to take care of Al. Ed was sad because he thought Al was getting ready to leave. How much would he have hurt his brother if he had left, thinking that Ed would be happier without him?

The colonel was looking at the figurine again, a knowing look on his face. Mustang had gotten Ed to talk about what he'd been feeling on purpose! Ed was right about the colonel being manipulative, but at least the man's heart was in the right place.

He needed to get back to his body, and he needed to do it now! The hook! Edward had said he used to hook to "catch" Al's soul. Maybe if he concentrated on the hook he could reel his soul back to his body. Concentrate!

He gasped, he was no longer in the dorm room, he was standing in the center of white nothingness. Only a large ornate gate stood in front of him. He trembled with a fear he didn't understand as the gate slowly creaked open.

Snap!

Alphonse sat up from his bed quickly, coughing, retching as dry heaves contracted his stomach painfully.

"Alphonse!"

Alphonse looked up, almost fearfully. His brother was staring wide-eyed, Colonel Mustang right behind him. Alphonse blinked, hesitating only a moment before he threw his arms around Edward and pulled him close. "Brother! I'm sorry!" Ed body went rigid with shock before he lightly wrapped his arms around Alphonse. It was a strange embrace, his flesh arm held him protectively while the automail hardly made contact. Al held on tighter, this was what he wanted. Just a simple comforting embrace. To be held and feel that he was being held. "I'm so sorry, brother," he sobbed into Ed's neck. "Forgive, me, Ed."

"Hey," Ed said softly, pulling away enough to look into his brother''s eyes. "It was just a nightmare."

"No," Alphonse shook his head, desperately clutching onto Edward. "I thought you wanted me gone. I need you, Ed. Please. I don't want to leave."

Ed looked back to the colonel, annoyed. Mustang had that customary smirk, "I think I'd better go," he said, standing.

Ed looked like he was trying to come up with something to yell at Mustang, but the colonel was gone before anything was said.

"Please, Ed. Can you forgive me?" Alphonse asked.

"No, Al," Ed said, "forgive me. I didn't mean...I don't blame you. It was my fault. It was all my fault."

"It was both our faults. I'm sorry that I didn't get your arm and leg back. I still want to."

Ed laughed, hugging Al tight. "Don't worry about that! Is that what you were looking up in all these books?"

Ed was smiling. He was actually smiling. "No...I was looking up this." He pulled away from Ed just enough to pick up the chalkboard from the floor. "I couldn't remember what it was."

Ed ghosted his fingers over the lines, "Your seal."

"I did something stupid."

Ed gave him a terrifying look. "What?"

"I kind of activated it while you were gone..."

Ed grabbed Al's shoulders, his face flashed with fear, anger, worry, then confusion. "But, you're okay?"

"Yeah, it...I was the figurine." He picked up the figurine that had held his soul for a while. "It was strange. I think...I want to work on it."

"No! What if you can't get back?! How did you get back?"

"I thought about the hook. I think if I did what you said, you know, make it my own, I could get it to work better."

"To do what?!"

"To help," he said bashfully. "You'll have to start going on missions again, Ed, and I don't want to have to stay here, worrying about you. I want things to go back to normal. You won't get out of the military for at least another year."

"You...but...Al! You're human again!"

"And you've always been human. You still do it."

"But...I'm...no!"

Al grinned, hoping he was up for this. He slid off the bed and into a clear fighting stance. "I'll fight you for it. If you win, I stay here. If I win, I get to go with you."

"Alphonse Elric, you are still sick. I will not fight you."

"You're just scared you'll lose, like always."

"Ha! You're muscles are still weak, I could take you down in an instant."

That was the Edward he knew, "Oh, yeah? Show me!" He tackled his brother quickly.

"Al!" Ed yelled, scrambling to fight back.

Al knew that they needed to talk more about what was going on, but for right now, he just wanted to have his brother back. That was enough.