So here's another angsty some what depressing chapter to The Darker Side of Blue. SURPRISE! Piper and Alex bump into eachother years before having to serve time in prison. Hope you all like it!
X0 Shay
Alex grasped onto Piper's shoulders and held on for dear life.
She had made it a full five days of being clean, yet the withdrawal felt as if it were getting worse and Alex needed some sort of relief. Her body becoming accustomed to knowing one certain kind, she caved in. She knew she was acting weak and could have lasted it out if she just tried. But she had grown tired of feeling sick to her stomach, and tired of all the muscle spasms that plagued her body.
She spent another agonizing two days trying to clean herself up again. She tried so hard the last time, but just couldn't overcome it.
Piper held onto her forearms and rubbed them back and forth. She watched Alex with an unfamiliar expression. One that almost seemed happy. A smile crept onto the corner of her lips, and it took everything in Alex to not scream at her to wipe it off. There was also a look of distaste towards Alex.
Alex shook her, grasp tightening around her shoulders and said, "Stop fucking laughing! Your eyes are fucking laughing at me!"
All the air escaped from her lungs and she realized, though she screamed these words, no sounds came from her throat, as if she was under water. She watched Piper's image distort, and she felt as though she was going to be sick again, as Piper turned into her mom. Piper no longer stood infront of Alex, and Alex continued to grasp shoulders, but these shoulders belonged to her mom.
Her mom smiled brightly at her and for the first time in what had felt like hours, Alex's ears perked up to hearing her voice.
"Baby, why are you doing this to yourself?" Judy asked, "I know you can do so much better than this, you just have to keep trying!"
Her voice rang in Alex's ears, and for the first time in a long time Alex smiled. It had been two and a half years since she last heard her voice, and tears started to well in her eyes as she too managed to let her voice escape.
"Momma, I need you here… I can't do this alone!"
Judy shook her head slowly, placing her hand on Alex's cheek, but before she said anything more a ringing blared out in the room around them, and Alex and Judy vanished.
Alex's eyes snapped open and she groaned at being awake. It had all been a dream. Her relapse, her meeting with Piper, her meeting with her mom. It had all been a horrible, yet beautiful, dream, and Alex wiped stray tears from her eyes.
She had overcome the addiction almost two years ago, but dreams of her being high or between that and her becoming sober haunted her almost every night. Sure she missed the drugs, and definitely didn't miss the feeling of withdrawal, the dreams didn't help her to stay sober.
Slowly moving out of the bed, she grabbed her housecoat and made her move to the bathroom. Some one rustled around in her bed, which startled her. She had forgotten she picked up a girl at the bar the night before and slowly turned to face the chick.
In the process, she tried extremely hard to remember the girl's name. Failing to do so, she just waited until the girl spoke first.
"Hey."
"Hey… you?" Alex responded, not meaning to sound as confused as she had but couldn't help it.
The girl had beautiful long blonde hair and fair skin. She had greenish-blue eyes, almost similar to Pipers, but never ever exactly like hers. Alex noticed since she became sober, she had a habit of pursuing girls that had similar traits to Pipers. She knew it was a troublesome issue, but she couldn't find herself doing anything different, and as the girl propped herself onto an arm, Alex fidgeted with her glasses awkwardly.
"That sure was an awesome night," the girl spoke, and Alex shut her eyes slowly, trying to collect any memories from it.
"Can I join you for a shower?"
Alex grabbed onto the housecoat that was wrapped around her body and simply shook her head as a refusal.
"I don't really have showers with other people, sorry," she quietly mumbled, and continued, "Look, I, uh, I have a lot of stuff I need to do today so Im gunna have to leave right away."
The girl frowned, first at Alex's refusal to the shower, and then furthermore to the fact she was obviously being thrown out of the house so suddenly.
"Okay… well will I see you again soon?" she asked.
Alex huffed in annoyance, grinding her teeth slightly. She hated having to do what she was about to do. Treat them like one night stands. But that's all this was, and she wanted any ideas that might have formed in this strange womans' mind that it was in fact, only a one night stand.
"Look, I think you're a really nice girl, and I would love to be friends with you, but I am definitely not something you want," Alex explained, "I think maybe we could be friends if you wanted, but I can't offer you anything more."
Silence. The worst parts of it, before the girl sat upright abruptly, and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. The girl glared at Alex, hurt being the expression on her face.
"Do you even know my name?"
Oh for fuck, finally! Alex thought, then spoke, "Actually… no. No, I don't. Last night was kinda fuzzy," she giggled to herself in attempts to cool the tension radiating off the angered girl.
"Its LISA, you ASSHOLE!" she shouted, "You were the one who put the moves on me last night, so now your doing this?!"
Alex stood still, raising a brow and finally spoke up, "Look Lisa. I don't do relationships, and yeah I flirted with you and got you in my bed, you were a good fuck! That's all there is to it."
With this, Lisa pushed the covers off herself and gathered her clothes, putting them on. Alex turned on her heel to respect the girls privacy, being fully aware of the girl glaring daggers into her back every twenty seconds or so.
"Its nothing personal, I just can't be what you want me to be," she said, still facing away from Lisa.
There were some audible huffs and puffs from the corner, before Lisa spoke up, "Yeah well, you weren't that great in the sheets, anyway."
Alex scoffed and bit on her thumb to stifle a full laugh, and turned around, "I beg to differ, considering your reaction last night, and right now…"
Lisa's face burned a bright red in embarrassment and walked out of the room, and Alex released a relieved sigh, and continued towards her shower. Chuckling to herself, she felt a heavy weight on her heart. If only she could put everything that was wrong, back to right, she wouldn't have to be such a cold hearted bitch to all the girls she had a habit of leading on.
If only she had stopped herself from being stubborn for just five minutes and begged Piper to stay, would she be waking up to Piper instead of these unknown girls.
. . .
Alex started her morning off much like she did every other morning. A hot cup of coffee in her hand, curled up on the settee with a book, and a few pieces of toast to munch on. Her day actually was going to be a busy one, and she was half relieved that she didn't have to lie about this one to Lisa.
Her phone started to beep, notifying her that someone was calling. The number read as a unknown number, and she reluctantly answered it in hopes it wasn't Fahri or Kubra. It was far too early for her to be hassled by either men.
"Hello?"
There was a pause on the other end, and Alex waited several moments before saying hello again. Still nothing, but she could hear a distinct breathing. She felt the annoyance building at the prank.
"Look, whoever this is, do you wanna stop wasting my fucking time here?" Alex abruptly blurted out, and the line went dead. Placing the phone into her pocket she lifted herself up off the couch.
She had been receiving regular calls over the past couple weeks that resulted in the same outcome, so she shrugged it off easily, and swigging back the remainders of her coffee she placed the cup on the counter on her way to the door. Putting her black army boots over her feet and locking the door behind her, she started her journey to town on foot.
She was making a habit of walking where she needed to go, instead of driving, to clear her mind. She always managed to have a bit more fun when walking, and enjoyed the lovely sights of distraction. She placed the headphone jack into her phone and started to listen to music, blaring out the noise of cars passing by, and smiled to herself as she made her way towards her favourite coffee shop.
Opening the door and stepping inside she turned her music down to order another cup of coffee for her journeys around town, when she felt someone staring at her.
Looking over her shoulder, she trembled at what she saw.
Piper was sitting at a table in a far corner, eyes wide open to the sight of Alex standing there, and Alex's jaw dropped at the sight of her.
She continued to stare at Piper, confused, wondering whether or not this was just another illusion, when the lady at the counter made Alex's attention snap away.
"What?" Alex asked, hurriedly.
"What can I get for you?" the girl asked, eyes darting up at her, a blush spreading across her face.
"Uh," Alex halted, distracted by the idea that Piper might flee if it really was true and she was only sitting ten feet away from her, "Just a large black coffee, please."
Looking back over to the corner where Piper sat, she frowned realizing that Piper was no longer there. She placed a hand over the counter and found a hand resting inches away from hers. She turned to look at who the hand belonged to.
In that moment it was as if time hadn't passed, as she gazed into familiar blue eyes, and it took every ounce of will power to not bring the woman in for a kiss. She wanted to kiss Piper, out of relief, and out of fear.
She had missed the blonde so much, but she also wanted this to not be an illusion for once, and maybe, if she could do as much as kiss her, Piper wouldn't vanish before her eyes.
Piper grinned at Alex, and Alex could see a hint of sadness behind the smile, "Hey," Piper said, feeling a bit awkward about Alex's surprise.
Alex felt tears sting at her eyes, and a lump in her throat built up as she struggled to find words. Piper grabbed her hand gently, causing Alex's eyes to close and bolt open again. She didn't trust her mind to believe this was happening, but Piper still stood there with a confused look on her face as she started to lead Alex over to her table.
Alex pulled a seat out to sit down, eyes never straying from Piper's face.
"Soo… I understand if you don't want to make small talk," Piper explained, once seated in her previous seat, "you can take your leave whenever. But I would like to catch up with you if your willing."
"I… Um…" Alex sputtered then shook her head, as if the action would clear her mind enough to form a sentence, but just stopped herself.
Opening her mouth, she inhaled quickly, "I've just been waiting for this moment for so long, thinking about what I would say to you. But now I have no idea what to say."
Piper's eyes lit up to hearing her voice finally. But the sadness in her eyes deepened, and she placed a hand on top of the back of Alex's hand. Alex's body stiffened, and she gently pulled away from her touch. She couldn't handle the sensation Piper still brought to her, even with just tiny comforting gestures.
"Alex…" she started, pulling her deserted hand away, "Im sorry. I know that I was a dick, I left-"
Alex held her palm out to stop her, "Piper, I don't have time for this." She swallowed hard, feeling nauseous suddenly, "And I don't wanna know your excuses for just deserting me. I've moved on, and so should you."
Alex meant to get up and walk away, but she couldn't bring herself to do so. Piper didn't move an inch, and just waited. She felt Piper's eyes on her, and she had to force herself to glance into her eyes every couple of seconds.
"You're lying," Piper whispered, as if telling a secret.
"And so what if I am?" Alex seethed, glaring at the blonde, "Your concern isn't needed. Anything you say to me means nothing. You gave up the right of being of any importance to me the day you decided shit got too rough."
Alex could see tears building in Pipers eyes, and instead of getting up and walking away, she leaned in and kissed Piper roughly.
Looking at Pipers neck as she abruptly pulled away, she could see hints of bruises, "Hope whoever gave you those can make you shake the way you are now."
Finally having enough will power, she pushed the chair away with her thighs as she stood, grabbed her coffee from the table and quickly made her leave.
She had wanted an explanation from Piper, she had lied about that. But she didn't want to give Piper the satisfaction of seeing how much the woman truly broke her to pieces.
As she slowly turned to look behind her, Alex saw Piper standing there, watching her walk away. Piper pulled a device to her ear as Alex watched her and stopped dead in her tracks. Her phone started to beep. Pulling it out and looking at the phone, it was the same number that had been calling her almost every day.
She answered, not really understanding why, but did so anyway.
"I now know why I never said anything when you answered my calls countless times. I had hoped you would eventually just ignore them… but you kept answering them anyway," Piper's voice rang through the ear piece of the phone and Alex laughed hard.
"How the hell did you get this number, Piper?"
Piper and Alex stood there watching eachother, not even twenty feet away, but remained on the phone.
"That doesn't matter, Piper, you need to stop calling this number," Alex cut her off before she could answer that question, "What are you trying to achieve? Doing this to me?"
Standing on the spot, Alex stared into Piper's eyes, and could see tears running down her cheeks. To that last statement, Alex couldn't control her voice as it cracked, emotion seething through the receiver.
"I needed to see you. I don't know why," Pipers voice shook, and Alex got fed up with the tone on the phone and hung up. Instead of walking away from Piper she waltzed over to her. Piper jolted and instinctively stepped backwards, as Alex aggressively pushed her up against the wall behind her.
"We are through, Piper!" Alex's voice impatiently shook, "We have been through for years, now. And this conversation is OVER! Stop calling me, stop pursuing to make nice with me, because that's never going to fucking happen!"
Alex stopped, her body was shaking uncontrollably, and she closed her eyes. Opening them again, tears involuntarily crept from her lids and down her cheeks.
"You have broken… every fucking piece of me…"
She paused, holding Pipers arms against the wall, and continued as she stared into the blonde's eyes.
"Coming in and out of my life when its fucking convenient for you, doesn't sit well with me Piper. You can continue to try as you are now, but this is the last time I'll say it to you. FUCK OFF! Just do what you do fucking best, Piper Chapman, and fuck off," she exclaimed, voice a whisper, barely heard.