Besarki: There was originally a large hate rant here but I've removed most of it since the issue has since been resolved. If you absolutely must know what it was about and will DIE without knowing (then you need to take a chill pill big time ;) ) then I'll just say that it was a reply to an anonymous review that ended up being a big train wreck. Regardless, it's over.

And so, this chapter is dedicated to Smart Angel for making me feel better when I got spammed. -Gives you a cookie star-

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Cause I know there's got to be another level
Somewhere closer to the other side
And I'm feeling like it's now or never
Can I break the spell of the typical?

~Typical, Mutemath

Have you ever had a morning that was so boring that you'd do anything just to escape it?

In a nutshell, that's how my morning was going.

Because it was early, Kaa-san was still asleep. Even if she'd been awake, though, I doubt it would make much of a difference.

Demon cruises were insanely dull. Every attempt I'd made at forming some kind of entertainment had failed miserably, and this was only day two.

Darn it! Why didn't I bring a puzzle or something?

"Hey Naka," I said, or maybe dragged would be a better word.

"Rrrrrr?"

"Heh. That almost sounded like a question." One of my attempts had been teaching Naka how to at least vary his growls into responses. He would make a higher pitched growl for an affirmative and a lower pitched growl as a no. For about five minutes, it seemed like he had really gotten it, but then he started using the wrong pitch and I realized that all along he'd only been guessing.

"Rrrrrr." He shook slightly and Kaa-san mumbled something in her sleep.

"You shouldn't do that, you know," I told him. "If Kaa-san falls off and drowns, we're in big trouble."

"Rrrrrrr."

I crossed my arms and frowned. "Because she's the only one who knows where we're going," I explained. A moment passed, and then I sighed. I was losing my mind--going off and answering questions I was sure he wasn't asking.

A bizarre flashback of Ryu bawling as he watched a movie involving a man screaming at a volleyball as it floated across the ocean suddenly flashed in my mind. Given our location, dwelling on this probably wasn't the best idea. I pushed the thought from my mind, but couldn't suppress the impending shudder.

"Creepy," I muttered to no one. I nearly sprang into the water when someone replied.

What is?

I whirled around in an instant. I'd heard that voice before.

I wasn't expecting what I saw.

Behind me, a very familiar looking bird stood carelessly on my temporarily discarded backpack. A pair of joint leaves hung from his mouth. I was in disbelief.

"Nuh uh. There's no way you're the same bird." Even as I said this, though, I knew he was.

"Gwack," He replied. And there it was again--that weird bird smile. Any doubt I might have had immediately vanished. It was him.

"Gidge! What are you doing here?" I was psyched! Really, I was, but Gidge lived in Italy. What was he doing all the way out here? I guess I didn't really care. It was great to see the moronic bird again! Especially now when I was so bored that I was debating whether or not to wake my mother up knowing full well that there'd be hell to pay if I did.

I followed you.

In that instant, I was sure my face had turned to stone. He grinned.

Yes, that was me, Hana. I've been watching you for the past few weeks, actually. Not in this form, of course, but watching you nonetheless.

I said nothing for several seconds...and then I went nuts.

"AAHHHHH! DEMON STALKER BIRD! DEMON STALKER BIRD!" I shrieked, swatting and diving at Gidge. He lifted off and coughed some demented sounding laugh.

Shh! Anna will be angry if she wakes up.

"YOU KNOW KAA-SAN'S NAME, TOO?! YOU MUST BE A SUPER DEMON!" I threw my backpack at him, and, despite it being twice his size and weight, he caught it in his talons.

Super demon? What's that?

"IT'S YOU, BIRD BRAIN!" I went to grab Matamune's mortuary tablet only to realize that I had brilliantly left it in my bag. Wow, way to go, me.

Me? No. I'm not a demon.

"LIAR!" I took another swing, but it, of course, missed.

I wouldn't lie to you, Hana.

"YOU JUST DID!"

Hmm. Well, maybe I would lie if I had to in order to keep you or Anna safe.

I paused for a moment to glare at the offending bird. "Oh yeah? Then what's your deal? Why do you talk?"

You talk.

"Yeah, I'm supposed to."

Well, so am I! Hahaha.

"STOP LAUGHING!"

He grinned again and descended onto Naka's back. He returned my backpack then glanced up at me with a smile.

My name isn't Gidge, Hana, though I can't complain about being called it.

I stared at him in confusion and extreme suspicion. I still didn't trust him. "Then what is it? Super Oni?"

Ha. You won't drop that, will you?

"Why should I?"

Because I mean you no harm.

"Neither does Naka, and he's an oni."

I'm not talking about onis, and I'm not one anyway.

"Yokai?" I guessed.

He paused deliberately. Hmm. Well, I guess you could call it that, though it is a bit of a stretch.

"HA! So you're admitting to being a demon."

No. I'm not. I can't admit to being something I'm not. If I did that, I'd be lying, and lying isn't nice.

"Oh, well pardon me!" I retorted sarcastically.

Oh, well, okay. Though you don't really need to be forgiven for that.

"Stupid bird. I didn't actually mean that."

Then why did you say it? Why say things you don't mean when they don't benefit anyone?

"I...wait, what?!" I couldn't believe I'd just been outsmarted by a bird. "What the hell are you talking about?"

I don't even need to explain it, do I? You already believe me.

"Um, no." Wow, this bird belonged in the looney bin.

I still haven't even told you my name! Why do you insist on trying to force yourself to believe what you know you don't.

"Uh, cause your a bird and birds don't talk? Just a guess, you know."

You were nicer when I wasn't talking.

"No kidding." I sat down then. I was getting tired of arguing with him. "Alright, bird brain. Go ahead. Tell me your name, and while you're at it, tell me how you know mine and Kaa-san's."

Well...if I didn't know your names, I'd be worse at what I am than I am now.

"...Huh?"

Hahaha. To say things simply...My name is Asakura Yoh. I am your father.

My eyes expanded to the size of saucers. Asa...kura...? YOH?! This bird was my father?! WHAT THE HELL?!

"WHAT?!?!" I screamed. Kaa-san threw something at me, but didn't wake up.

Hehehe. It's true, Hana. It's me!

"NO! LIAR! Tou-san's dead, and even if he wasn't, he's human...sort of...and, and he...YOU'RE NOT HIM!"

I am, Hana. I can prove it!

This I had to see. "Oh, yeah? Then stop yapping and do it already."

Okay. Let's see...your favorite food is the same as Hao--

"That doesn't mean you're my otou, just that you're a stalker."

Oh, well, how about this: I know your birthday!

"So? My kindergarten does, too."

You're being really hard on me, Hana.

"Not my fault that you can't think up a good argument." I knew I was being difficult, but if we'd been searching for him and all along he'd been a bird that had been following us around, Kaa-san was going to be upset. So would I, for that matter.

I got it! I know your favorite color!

"Orange."

Hey!

"I wouldn't have accepted that, anyway."

Okay. Fine. Then what would you accept? What would only your otou know?

A devilish grin broke out across my face. What I was about to ask wasn't at all fair, but it would get this impostor off my back.

"There's a cracked tombstone on Funbari Hill. Whose is it?" I wanted to laugh evilly. He'd never get it, and I'd expose him for sure.

Amidamaru's.

I nearly fell over. How did he know?!

The big bird grin returned to his features.

Amidamaru used to be my main spirit. Of course I'd know about his tombstone! That wasn't very hard, Hana.

"But..." I was at a loss for words. I'd asked the question because it had next to nothing to do with me. He wouldn't be expecting it and only a Funbari Hill resident should know that. So then...

I looked down into the warm brown eyes of Asakura Yoh.

It's okay to be a little surprised, He said. Anna nearly threw a knife at me when I confronted her for the first time. Yeah, that sounded like Kaa-san. And this is a weird way to appear. I mean, I'm not really a bird, as I said. This is just the form I take when I come to visit.

He was babbling to himself now, it seemed. Weird. I thought Kaa-san was the only one that did that. (AN: Note the irony here. He's saying that he thought only his mother talked to herself, yet he was having a conversation with the clouds earlier this chapter :) )

Hello? Hana? Are you listening to me?

"Huh?"

Hahaha. Obviously not.

"What'd you say?" Though by my tone it was fairly apparent that I was just going to ignore him again. I was still preoccupied with figuring this out.

Tou-san became the Shaman King seven years ago. In the process, he died. Kaa-san sensed him two years later and went looking for him. Five years after that, she came back for me. Where in that story was there anything about him turning into a bird?

...don't you think?

Shoot! "Um, yeah!"

Tou-san stared at me for a moment then waddled over and pecked at my hand.

"OW!" I shouted, jumping away from him. "Why'd you do that?!"

I added that last part in even though I hadn't said anything that would require agreement. I wanted to see if you were paying attention, though you clearly weren't.

"Sorry, I just--"

You don't need to apologize. I was only teasing.

I averted my gaze. This was strangely awkward for some reason.

There's a lot on your mind. I know that for a fact because you can hear me.

"Huh?" I said again.

You can only hear me because your reishi has been activated. You were so excited to see Gidge that you ignited it by accident. When you heard my voice, your emotions turned to equally strong shock so your reishi didn't go out. Now, your confusion is overwhelming. Your emotions are at fever point, and so your reishi is active.

"...I have no idea what you just said." What the hell was reishi?

You don't understand or didn't hear it?

"Don't understand. I hear you whether I want to or not." That was mean. Oh well.

What don't you understand, Hana-chan?

Again with the chan, I mentally grumbled to myself. I was still fitting when I felt a light pressure on my head. I didn't have to look to know who it was.

Your head is comfy.

"Glad to be of service," I mumbled. Tou-san laughed.

So alike.

"Whatever you say, old man."

Old man? I'm twenty three.

"Older than me."

I'd hope so.

"God, you're annoying." I let my head drop into my propped and open hands.

Well, at least you believe me and accept what I've told you. That was my real objective for today. Well, that and to establish at least a small bond of trust, but I guess that will come with time, right?

"Sure."

Hehehe. You sure are hard to talk to, Hana.

I muttered a quiet and insincere apology, and reached out for my bag. In truth, I had a ton of things to ask him, but I found myself suddenly unable to do so. It was weird, but...

By the way, reishi is a form of mind-reading if that's what you were wondering about.

My eyes rolled up to stare at him. How strange that he knew that...

For the next twenty or so minutes, Tou-san and I talked together about meaningless nothingness. None of the statements had any real substance and none of the questions asked were really anything we were actually wondering about. We were just...talking.

Because I had bad social skills and my otou saw things as a spirit.

I sighed.

Anna will be up any minute, He finally said, standing and jumping back onto the oni's hide. He ruffled his feathers. I should go.

"Yeah..." Though it was more of a signal that I was listening than a real agreement.

Tou-san smiled at me once more then began to make his way to the end of Naka's tail.

"You'll come back, though, right?" I suddenly asked, the question surprising even me.

He paused. Do you want me to?

"..."

His body shook with gentle laughter. Then I will.

He flapped his wings and lifted off, still shaking as his body dissolved into the clouds.

He never saw me smile.

Besarki: I keep looking back at my door, and I know there's nothing there, but...shudder. I hate it when this happens. -.-

I make a bajillion references to other books and movies in this fic. Can anyone guess what the volleyball movie was?

"My name is Asakura Yoh. I am your father." Did this line look familiar to you guys? Har har har.

Oy vay...not my favorite chapter, but (NAME DELETED BECAUSE ISSUE HAS BEEN RESOLVED)'s "spamage" put me in a bad mood. I'm going to warn you right now, if I get spammed the chapter before something big happens, LOOK OUT. The chapter will turn to garbage because I'm a crappy writer when I'm mad. This would have been a lot worse had it not been for Smart Angel who sent me a PM and gave up her time to discuss spammers with me. I very much appreciate that, and will not forget it!

Originally, I had this awesome list that parodied the series (more the anime than the manga). Don't get me wrong, I love Shaman King. Takei is a genius, but there are a lot of little quirks which can easily be made fun of. It was originally a running gag between me and my one friend. He liked it, and I found it recently and thought it would make some of you smile. If I don't get spammed again, I'll put it in the author's note of the next chapter.

Ciao, munchies!

...Does anyone ever wonder why I call people munchies? I've been asked that before so I might as well clear it up. Munchie is my abbreviation for munchkin. I don't know why I call people that. Just do. Meh, I'm weird.

OKAY BYE!

OMG! JUST REALIZED! TOMORROW IS YOH AND HAO'S BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BDAY TWINS! ACTUALLY, IN JAPAN, IT'S THEIR BDAY RIGHT NOW! HOORAY!