A/N: I hope you're all enjoying the story. Please, please take time to review.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.
(Previously):
EPOV
After the hour had passed, we all gathered in the living room, waiting. As Carlisle entered the room, we looked to him expectantly.
Carlisle turned to Bella and smiled. "I'm sure you, more than any of us, have been very curious as to what is happening to you," he began. "I'm not sure I have the correct answers, as there is no way to really prove all of it, but I have come up with my own theory. Some of these things we will be able to test, some we have already started to figure out, and others will be merely speculation. When you and Edward recently told me about the latest developments, it only added to my conclusion. I have seen a lot of things in all my years, Bella, but you are a first. I've grown accustomed to accepting the impossible, as we all have - we are mythical creatures, after all," he paused, then smiled again. "That said, I've been pulling my resources, thinking this through...would you like to hear my theory?" he inquired, seeming to speak only to Bella.
"Yes, please," Bella answered quietly, almost in a whisper. She appeared to be nervous, as well as embarrassed. My hand gently squeezed hers, and I pulled her closer, trying to offer reassurance. She leaned into me, seeking comfort. No matter how she felt about what Carlisle had to say, I would be here for her.
Chapter 19: Theory
EPOV
After pausing for a moment, Carlisle began to speak. "All right, then. Basically, I think everything revolves around one main point, which is that I believe you were always meant to be with us...to be one of us. For whatever reason, it seems that it was your true destiny, quite possibly because your soul mate's life had been taken from him, and it was the only real way for you to find him - to be with him.
"Now, I realize that you joining us in immortality did not occur how we were planning, but it did still occur. What seems to matter is that when you were bitten, no matter by who, you had already made up your mind that this was the life you wanted - this was your choice," he paused. "I have never known of another human that has entered into this lifestyle by choice. You knew what to expect during and after the change, and you were willing to accept all of it, unconditionally.
"I believe it was that very choice that has ultimately allowed this life to come 'easy' to you. The first example of this would be how the actual changing process went for you. None of us can even imagine what you've described - a peaceful transition into this life. At first, I thought perhaps your mind found a way to protect itself from the pain once you knew Edward was with you, but then it occurred to me that it could only have been Edward's venom that was able to put out the pain of the fire for you, giving you the cooling sensation you've spoken of. You've been bitten by two other vampires, Bella - James and Riley, and both times, you initially felt the horrible fire we know to traditionally accompany the change. Edward's venom was like an antidote for the pain - you two are so uniquely connected to one another, it seems fitting. You had always wanted it to be him that bit you, so only he could spare you from the pain. He was a numbing agent for you, like a drug.
"Once the pain was gone, your description of floating in water, completely relaxed, sounds remarkably womb-like. It is as if you were experiencing a comforting, consoling 'birth' into this new life, the life you were meant to live. Unimaginable, to us - it wasn't our choice, and we all entered into it kicking and screaming, fighting every second of it," he paused, as the rest of us nodded in agreement, recalling our own horrifying pain from our transformations.
"Aside from the changing process itself, there is the issue of your eye color, which has been of great interest to all of us. Your eye color has basically been the opposite of what is normal for us. There are two factors here, at least in my opinion, only one of which is scientific, which I'll start with first.
"By the time Edward got to you, Riley had drained almost all of your blood, and the little that was left was almost instantly changed to venom as it was pumped through your heart after Edward bit you. What makes a newborn's eyes red is their own lingering human blood, which dissipates slowly, over the course of time. If they turn to our vegetarian lifestyle, as the human blood is spent, then their eyes would eventually turn gold; however, what was left of your human blood had already been converted.
"The second, less scientific reasoning falls in with my other explanations, about everything coming down to the matter of choice. Without having fed, and with none of your human blood left in your system, one would think you would have woken with black eyes, signaling great thirst. You, however, woke with gold eyes. After feeding, your eyes changed from the previously satiated gold to pitch black. When our eyes are black, our body is telling us to feed. Seemingly, when yours are black, your body is telling you that you don't have to feed. Gold is much more acceptable looking to humans then black, which is one of the reasons we try to feed regularly, to keep ours from becoming that dark. Along with no sense of thirst, it appears that your system is telling you that to feed is a choice for you, an option, not necessarily a requirement. Unheard of, but apparently not impossible," Carlisle smiled at Bella again, in an attempt to reassure her, before shifting his posture, and continuing his speech.
"Now, let's continue with the topic of your feeding habits, or lack of them," Carlisle chuckled. "To discover that you feel as though you don't need to feed, that you have no sense of thirst, hunger, or...anything, is astounding. Although I am sure that with time you would have weakened without feeding at all, the fact that you felt fine, complete, with no need for any type of sustenance, is again, a first, and unheard of for a newborn. When you did feed, merely to appease us, the blood tasted like human food to you, which sounds horrifying to us, but it was always blood that was horrifying to you. It's as if your body recognized what you needed to do to keep your strength, and adjusted to it so that it was more appealing. Another adaptation which as far as I know, is purely unique to you. I've never heard of such a thing, and as we know, I've been around for a while.
"Another curious aspect - Bella, before you became one of us, one of your best friends was a werewolf. We all know how much we don't get along with the wolves - they exist after all, to destroy our kind. They disgust us, just as much as we disgust them." He smiled apologetically at Bella. "I know that you were concerned about what would happen to your friendship with Jacob after you became one of us; you'd discussed it with Alice and Edward many times. Once again, you seem to have found a way around this problem in your transition, as you and Jacob do not seem to be offended by one another at all. Now, none of us were on friendly terms with a wolf before we were changed, nor do I know of anyone that has been... until you. Therefore, I cannot compare it to anyone else's situation, but I believe that your body has again adapted itself to allow you to retain that part of your humanity.
"Aside from all of that, this is what I find to be most interesting, Bella - if you do decide to feed, then many of the characteristics of being one of us seems to be 'activated' by the blood, but are only temporary, unless you keep feeding. Edward has told me that the one deer you fed from was quite small, and now we see that your abilities have lasted just under 24 hours. I believe that if you were to feed more - perhaps larger game, and more than one, that you would retain your powers for a bit longer.
"This brings us to the subject of your powers, which as I've said, seem to only be accessible to you when you feed. We've seen that you take on our gifts, or strongest characteristics - I'm still not sure if this is unique to our family only, or if others' abilities would be shared with you as well. Personally, I think that it may be due to the close relationship you share with us. Some of our gifts are doubled in strength, others of which are shared, but with twists to them, such as Edward's. Instead of just hearing us, as Edward does, we can hear you as well. On a side note, going back to the wolves - I would be curious to see if you're still quite so unoffensive to them after you've fed, and vice versa. I have a feeling, judging from everything else, that it may not be the case," Carlisle chuckled again.
"You also have access to your own special gift when you feed...the ability to influence people's actions. Perhaps you gained this from your need to protect yourself - after all, Bella, Edward did always refer to you as a danger magnet, and as a human you certainly did have an uncanny way of attracting trouble," Carlisle added, smiling ruefully at me.
"Interestingly, when combined all at once, our gifts, united with your own, seem to give you some kind of surge of unfathomable power. I can't help but wonder at how this seems to be yet another confirmation that you belong with our family, the missing piece, perhaps - of course, we still have yet to see if other vampires' gifts affect you the way ours do. Regardless, the last time we experimented with your powers, the surge of power took all of us a bit off guard. If you're willing, I think learning to control it, and working with it, would be a good idea. It would mean more feeding, obviously, and lots of practice, but I would be very interested in learning more of what you've been given.
"The last thing I'd like to mention is the clarity of your human memories. Yes, usually it takes a little while for them to fade away, but even in the beginning they should seem a little fuzzy. Not for you, though. You've retained every detail, in almost perfect clarity. What's more interesting, is that although you have kept the memories, the pain, or grief, is lessening. It's like you're unconsciously able to choose what to keep, and in an effort to heal, you're losing the bad things that go with those memories. Normally our kind would lose most of both aspects...anything from the human part of life would start out slightly faded, and fade much more with time." He paused as he noticed Bella glance over towards Rosalie.
"Yes, Bella, it is true that Rosalie still holds the desire to have children, but that is something that is simply part of her - it's within her very nature, not just a memory. The strength of her human memories have faded, and her pain is not something left over from her human life. Her pain comes from the realities that she's had to accept after becoming one of us." Carlisle glanced sadly towards Rosalie before turning his attention back to Bella.
"Now, things may change with you. Your memories may fade - that remains to be seen, and we'll only know after more time has passed. Personally, with everything I've observed from you, Bella, I don't think it will change, and I hope it doesn't. I love the idea that you'll always have crystal clear memories of your parents, and their love for you, but that you won't have to suffer from the grief that came with that loss," Carlisle paused, thinking to himself for a moment.
"When looking at all the individual aspects of your change, everything comes back to one point - the point that to my knowledge, there has never been another vampire to choose this life.
Since it was ultimately your choice to become one of us, everything that has followed has become a choice for you. It's like you have the choice of when you want to fully be one of us - whether you decide to activate your abilities by feeding, or not. Everything about your change became adapted to suit you...your choice. Instead of your body and mind working against you, making you struggle to accept what you'd become, as we all did, they're working for you, making everything that much easier. It's as if your body is confirming your choice, and has customized itself to this life. Your mind had already accepted your true decision, subconsciously selecting adaptations to suit you specifically while you were still asleep.
"This is my theory, Bella. To choose this life freely, to accept what your soul mate is, and to willingly become part of our family, without question, has given you the freedom to be one of us, to be immortal, without the struggle, and to have access to special abilities, but only when you choose to. I do believe you are a first for our kind," he finished, smiling at Bella with the love and admiration only a father could offer.
We were all fairly quiet after this, trying to process Carlisle's theory. Not all of it was new of course, but when put together and presented this way, it was a lot to think about. Bella was the most quiet, still cuddled up against me. One thing was clear, that much I could tell by everyone's expressions, as well as their thoughts. My entire family was in awe, and full of love for Bella, even Rosalie, as each of them realized that it was her desire to be with me forever, to join my family, and because of her unquestionable love for them, she was free from the restrictions that usually accompanied our kind. It was beyond beautiful.