A/N: OKAY GUYS! I'M SORRY! GRAB THE KLEENEX AND THE HAPPY FOOD AND PLEASE DON'T HATE ME! I FELT JUST AS DEPRESSED WRITING THIS AS YOU WILL READING IT!

FORGIVEEE MEEEEEE! xx

Will update again today, so keep an eye out! If you don't decide to find me and throw me into a pit of acid or lava for being a horrible person and writing such a nasty thing that makes me have the feels, and I'm the one who wrote it! :( :'( xx

Bickslow's POV

'So cosplayer, any particular reason you went and got pissed last night?' I asked as she sat down to meditate with her spirit.

'Not any reason really. I stayed over at Ever's, and we had a girls night.' She grinned at me before sinking into her meditative state. I sat down, watching her as she breathed slowly, centring herself.

Right. Like I'll believe that. I thought, narrowing my eyes at her. Ever hated getting drunk, but easily went over the top with alcohol when she was pleased.

I guess she could have dragged cosplayer into it... but I've never seen her drunk or hung-over. Hmmm... wonder what kind of drunk she is? I'd been thinking about all the possible types of drunk cosplayer could be, and hadn't noticed she'd cut her meditation short this morning.

'Hey, Bix. You ready?' I snapped out of my day dreaming, and grinned at her, my tongue lolling out of my mouth as I winked.

'Ready when you are cosplayer.' She blushed slightly as she glared at me, making me grin even more as my babies spun around her head laughing.

'Remember what I told you, Lucy-sama. Also, his majesty sends his regards.' The goat spirit bowed low to her, before disappearing back to the spirit world.

'Seems you've got their king wrapped round your little finger cosplayer.' I said, smiling at her as she looked at me confused.

'No, moustache man just likes me cause I stood up to him about his silly law. He likes how I saved Loke, and then didn't try pestering him to give me his key. Apparently, that's a thing some celestial mages do.' She shrugged and fingered the keys at her hip.

'Wouldn't owning his key make you pretty strong though?' I asked. 'I mean, he's the spirit king, and he likes you well enough, so why not?' She frowned and looked up at me.

'Well, it's hard to explain. He's never really given anyone his key, and I don't like to pester an un-contracted spirit about their keys. I feel like it's disrespectful to just ask them. If I want a key, I'll go through the trouble to search for it, and earn it myself. Just meeting the spirit and asking them shows a lack of effort and commitment. At least, that's how I feel anyway.' I nodded my understanding, shrugging my shoulders as she smiled up at me.

'Fair enough cosplayer. Anyway, you ready for your next lesson? I'm going to teach you how to punch properly; you already have pretty good power, considering how far you smacked the metal head into the wall. Betting that hurt though, so listen up.'

Laxus's POV

I sauntered into the guild, early for my session with blondie, wanting to see how she'd done with Bix.

As I approached the bar, I saw Mira shoot upright from the floor, blinking rapidly, before her gaze focused on me. I felt a shiver go down my spine at her look, before she smiled kindly at me.

I swear I just caught her glaring at me...

'Laxus! Can you help me carry some boxes from the storage room round back?' She asked, smiling sweetly at me as I approached. I grunted and followed her round the back of the bar and into the storage area of the guild.

'I just need you to carry that crate over there.' I frowned at her unusually far too happy go lucky attitude. Sure, Mira was happy all the time, but this seemed too happy, I mean, she just wanted me to lug around a box, right?

'Whatever demon girl.' I muttered, walking forwards to pick up the crate, before everything went dark.

Mira's POV

I chuckled under my breath, the frying pan hanging in my hands as I looked down at Laxus's unconscious form.

'I shall have the god children I want!' I muttered, before tying him up with the magic restraining rope I'd found, and locking the store room door, twirling the little silver key on the chain I'd put it on, and hung it around my neck, hiding the key between my breasts.

'Now, time to deal with Master.' I smirked as I wandered to the front of the bar, pouring out a drink of beer for Macau as I plotted away, grinning.

Lucy's POV

I lie down on the floor and let out a sigh, sitting upright to stare at Bix who'd sat cross legged beside me.

'Where's Laxus? He's late already.' I moaned, slightly thankful my already aching muscles didn't have to go through his training regime. Even though his lessons were focused on my magic, it really took it out on my body too.

'I dunno cosplayer. He told me he was going to catch the end of our session. Guess he got held up.' He shrugged.

"Held up! Held up!" I laughed as his babies repeated his words as they flew across to me to nuzzle against my face and neck.

I looked over to see Bix staring at me and his babies in shock.

'What?' I asked, smiling as his babies flew back towards him to snuggle up to him too.

'They've never... done that to anyone before; except me, but only in private. They're very nervous round people, they don't show affection much.' I smiled softly a his confused expression.

'I guess they're used to me then.' I laughed softly, chewing slightly on my lip.

What does that mean then? Does Bix like me? Is that why his totem spirits are acting like this?

'Probably. Still, they don't do it with any of the Raijinshuu and they've been with them for years.' He frowned, his face suddenly darker.

'Hey, Bix. You okay?' I asked quietly, shuffling closer and placing a hand on his arm lightly. He flinched slightly, making me draw back again.

'Sorry Lucy. Just... lost in thought.' He muttered, sounding really serious all of a sudden; even his babies had quieted and hovered close to him, nudging him every so often in comfort.

'Want to tell me what's got you so down like this?' I asked, smiling at him.

H blinked, his piercing dark red eyes filled with sadness.

'I... I don't know.' He looked away, his shoulders slumped slightly. I frowned, worried. I'd never seen him like this; he always put up a perverted front as soon as anyone tried to get close to him. I guess he must have been particularly down today.

'Bix, come on. You can talk to me, and Laxus doesn't seem like he's going to be here any time soon. Want to come back to mine for some breakfast and privacy?' I expected him to make a comment about the privacy thing, but he just looked at me hesitantly, before nodding and getting up.

'Let's go round the back. I don't feel like walking through the guild.' He muttered, grabbing my wrist and pulling me along behind him, his babies trailing after me.

I could tell he was depressed about something all through the lesson; I sometimes looked over to him when he thought I wasn't, and saw him lost in thought, frowning before he quickly recovered and continued teaching me how to kick some ones butt.

Hope he's okay...

Bickslow's POV

Damnit. Why'd I agree to this? Stupid Bix, stupid! She doesn't need to know about your past you idiot. Just leave while you can! My mind was screaming at me for going with her.

'Bix, tell me right now what's going on.' I looked up to see she'd finished her breakfast too, and was now sitting there with a glare on her face and her arms crossed across her chest.

I ran a hand over my face then through my hair. It felt weird not to wear my mask and head cover all the time, but she seemed to like it when I didn't, and everyone in the guild hadn't commented or looked scared as I'd thought they would.

They just accepted it.

'Nothing's up cosplayer, I'll be off now, Thanks for the food.' I winked and forced my face into a smirk as I stood and tried to walk to the door.

I felt a hand grab my arm and yank me back.

'Don't lie to me Bix.' She whispered from behind me. I froze, feeling her arms reach round to hug me from behind, her small hands crossing around my waist.

I closed my eyes, breathing deeply as I tried to walk away, pulling at her hands, only to feel her arms tighten their hold on me, making me tremble as my heart sped up.

'Please Bix. Talk to me; I hate seeing you like this.' Her words were mumbled into my back as she rested her head against me. I tightened my jaw and released her hands as I swallowed to try and wet my dry throat, nerves knotting my stomach and tying it up into a big twisted mess.

'Okay.' I whispered hoarsely. She tightened her hug before releasing my waist, grabbing my hand and pulling me to sit down on her sofa beside her. I refused to look at her and took a deep breath, trying to prepare for what I had to tell her, and for how she'd hate me once I'd done.

Please, forgive me... I thought, as I began to tell her the story of my past.

I was born in a little town far away from Fiore, and everyone in that town was magic-less, including my parents. It was a mining town, so as soon as I was 6, I had to go work in the mines with my Father and two older brothers, us kids could get into the smaller spaces and pull out the purer coal.

Nobody wanted to send the children down the mines, there were so many accidents... life expectancy of the town had dropped drastically, but the town was in control of a dark guild. They were a branch from a larger alliance of dark guilds, and were sending the profits from the mining off, as well as controlling the town with fear.

One of them was a particularly harsh mage. My older brother, Jasper, had tripped over when carrying a large bucket of coal, got some dust on the man stupid shoe.

He grabbed him and pulled him in front of the whole town, and used his light magic to make his skin burn and peel back so he was down to the last layer of skin, before he threw him in a bath of salt water. Myself and my other brother were held back by our Father as his screams echoed in the valley.

He died the next day. The pain was too much, and the burns were too severe. He was 8.

I hated them even more after that. I wanted to kill them all, especially that guy. I wanted him to suffer just like my brother had. It had taken hours for him to die, and he was screaming all night. I remember sitting beside him, not even able to touch him to offer some form of comfort; it only hurt him even more. He'd stopped crying, his tears hurting his raw skin; he couldn't even express his pain. We sat beside him, watching helplessly as he screamed out his agony. His shouts are still etched into my mind; when I close my eyes I can sometimes hear him, his pain, his fear. We were relieved when he finally died; we were happy he'd finally stopped feeling.

My mother died not long after from the coal dust she'd inhaled over the years and from the grief of watching Jasper die. My little sister died inside of her, unborn. I remember how the mages came and dragged her corpse away from us, ignoring as we called out for them to stop. They just threw her into a mass grave of rotting bodies, my brothers body was somewhere in there too. They just threw a torch in there and burned them. We hadn't realised they'd thrown the sick in there too, and I listened as their screams filled the air along with the cries and howls of pain from their relatives who stood like we were, at the top of the grave, watching helplessly as they were burned from existence.

My Father changed after that. He withdrew into himself; he didn't speak, he only worked feverishly down in the mines. My older brother Kain and I had to fend for ourselves, scavenging for food where we could and avoiding angering the mages.

One day when I was 9, I was ill with a fever and couldn't work. Kain stayed with me, and our Father went to work. At around mid-day, there was a huge explosion. I remember how we both ran out of our hut to see black coal dust flying out of the entrance of the mine, and men staggering out, blood running from their ears and cuts and scrapes covering their bodies.

The dark mages who'd been stationed to help were shoving them back inside, telling them to put out the fire, and whipping them when they fell to the floor unconscious.

By the evening, we'd found what was left of our Father. He'd tried to destroy the mines, hoping the dark guild would leave when they could see no profit in the town. He'd made up a type of explosive, and hid himself deep in the mine to explode it. The only way we could identify it was him was from the wedding ring on his hand; it had our mothers name engraved into the gold.

Instead of moving away, the dark guild just increased the guard on us all, restricted us even more, and took more of the profit. We were starving, over worked and there were fewer and fewer people alive.

I was filled with hatred. I didn't even care if I died, as long as they did too.

It was only a few months after my Father's death that the dark guild decided we were of no more use to them. They gathered up all the children, myself and my brother included, penning us away from all the adults. They got everyone to watch as they grabbed my brother and dragged him away in front of everyone, on a stage before the remaining survivors of the town, people who'd watched us grow and had protected us as much as possible from them.

We screamed for one another, and I tried to get to him, but they shoved me back, laughing as their leader tortured him as though it were some form of entertainment. We were held back by rune barriers, and I could only watch as he scalped my brother alive, his hands and feet bound as he cried out, begging for him to kill him.

I screamed and felt my eyes burning as I watched him dying in front of me. Next thing I knew, my Figure Eyes had manifested, and I was controlling the wizards. I made them kill one another, completely detached from my mind, my rage and hate controlling me.

I forced that mage who had killed both my brothers to kneel before me as I took his knife, and slowly sliced away his skin, laughing as he screamed out his own torment; I revelled in how he felt the same pain he'd made my brothers suffer through before I allowed him to bleed to death at my feet, watching as his disgusting life force soaked into the ground and into my shoes.

When I came out of it, the entire village had run away, terrified of my power more than the mages of the dark guilds who'd controlled and tortured them for years.

I remember kneeling beside my brother, who was only just alive, and I saw his soul floating above his body, pure blue. I reached out and took it in my bloodied hands, feeling the warmth it had.

I released him, and watched as he floated towards our home. There, I found the souls of my brother, Mother, Father and sister. They flew to me, and I felt them brush against my tears.

Somehow, I bound their souls to me, and placed them in the wooden dolls my Father had carved years ago and hidden when the dark guild appeared.

They don't remember who they were, but they know how they died, and who did it, and they knew that they loved me.

I wandered around for another year by myself, hiding from people and when I had to go through towns, I made sure my face was covered. When my Figure Eyes manifested, my tattoo appeared on my face as well.

I was 11 when I met Laxus. He recognised me as a mage, and wasn't scared of my face or eyes. I had pretty bad control over them, and if I got angry they would flare up without my knowledge and I ended up controlling people without meaning to. Laxus just ignored me and dragged me to Fiore, then to Fairy Tail. After that, there's not much more to tell. Laxus knows of my past, but no-one else does. It's worse on days like today. It would have been Jasper's birthday today, had he lived.

I waited for her to judge me, for the blood that covered my hands, for the murder I'd committed against those mages. I knew Fairy Tail had a rule about killing, and everyone had adhered to that rule, but I'd broken it long before. I was tainted, and now she knew.

The one person I never wanted to know, and I'd told her.

She's going to scream at me, tell me to leave. She'll hate me now, because I'm a murderer. She could never love someone like me.

I closed my eyes, not wanting to see her hate directed towards me, and not knowing how my Figure Eyes would react when she tried to throw me out.

I waited, for her to hit me, for her to hate me; but I heard nothing. I listened harder, and heard her sniffing.

I opened my eyes, and looked at her, cautiously, wondering if she was tricking me, only to see tears streaming down her face.

'Bickslow... I'm so sorry.' She whispered, throwing herself forwards so she rested against my chest, and she hugged me tightly as her body wracked with sobs.

'You don't... you don't hate me?' I whispered, still in shock at her reaction. She shook her head against my chest, clinging onto me as though I were her lifeline.

'How could I hate you? You did what a scared child would have done. There's nothing for you to feel ashamed of. They deserved everything you gave them and more for what they did.' I sucked in a jagged breath and shut my eyes, trying to hold back my own tears as I laughed lightly to myself.

How could you think she'd hate you? She's incapable of hating someone; she's far too forgiving. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tightly as my own tears escaped their prison.

'Thank you.' I whispered, clinging onto her as I let go of the burden I'd carried since I was a boy.