OXOXOXO

Rin sat on the edge of her bed, waiting for Sesshomaru to return. He'd called hours ago, saying he was on his way to the police station. He had sounded angry, but sometimes it was hard for even Rin to tell and he had cut the conversation extremely short.

"Rin?" someone called from the living area. She jumped up and flung her door open. Sesshomaru stood at the table with his briefcase open. Something about him put her on guard. "Oh, I thought you'd be in here." He looked down in his briefcase when he started speaking again. "I have a car ready for you when you finish packing. It's safe for you to return to your home."

"Home?" Her mind was having trouble putting his words into an intelligent order. Home was here, with him. Didn't he know that?

"Yes, whenever you're ready." He closed his briefcase and headed for the door. After all he'd said, after all they'd gone through in the past two weeks, he was walking out on her. Again.

"Bastard." He stopped and looked back at her, clearly shocked. "That's what I called you every day for the first year after you left me. The first time, I mean," she said edging on bitterness. "I was so angry I think that, for a while, I really did hate you." She closed her eyes and sighed. "Finally, finally, finally, I let it go. I got over the pain and anger. But I never got over you." She made sure he was looking her in the eye. "I thought you loved me." She started walking towards him. "I know I love you."

"Rin-"

"No, let me finish. I love you so much that sometimes it literally pains my heart to think that you didn't return something so strong. But, this time, I thought you realized that it could work, that we could make it work. I know we could, so what are you so afraid of? And I suggest being honest this time because once you walk out that door, I'll never see you again." He stalled, one hand on the door knob and both eyes glued to Rin. He decided that she deserved his honesty this time.

"I'm afraid of losing you." Her eyes widened as understanding dawned.

"You were trying to protect me back then, weren't you?" He scrunched his eyebrows and nodded.

"Just like this time, the death threats were targeting you along with the family. I thought that by breaking up with you they would lose interest."

"You conceited jackass!" Tears ran down her face, free-falling on her clenched fists. "You wanted to save whoever it was the pleasure of killing me for yourself? Because you might as well have. When you broke my heart, I lost all interest in life. You were my life, and you made it plain that you didn't care if I went and jumped off a cliff!"

"I had to, I was being monitored."

"I don't care! How could you do something so callus, so cold-hearted? Did it ever occur to you-"

"I died the day I had to say those things!" Rin had never heard Sesshomaru yell before. It completely shocked her into silence. "I spent many nights in the years since awake, wondering what I could have done differently. I don't know how many times I dialed six numbers just to hang up the phone. I must have written a thousand letters I never sent. Don't for a moment be under the impression that you are the only one that suffered." He didn't remember it, but sometime in that speech he must have walked across the room, seeing as he was now right in front of her. And Rin, impressive woman she was, hadn't retreated one step.

"Then why didn't you ever finish dialing or send just one of those letters?" she whispered and reached up a hand to touch his face. He stepped out of her reach.

"If you would notice, within one month of renewing our acquaintance," she rolled her eyes but he continued, "you were targeted in a public place while out with your girlfriends. The best way for me to keep you safe is to keep you away from me."

"What if I don't want to stay away from you?" She moved to press her body to his. "What if I think loving you is worth the risk?" She put her hands on his hips. "What if I said I trusted you to protect me?" She kissed the corner of his mouth.

"That's why I'm the one walking out the door." He extricated himself and closed the door on his way out, wincing at the sound of glass shattering against the door.

OXOXOXO