== Reconciliation ==

Chapter 4. Earth: Night 1 Contd.

Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers or any of the characters or concepts within; I make no money from this story or any other which I have written about Transformers.

No, it isn't an easy task bringing Mirage and Skywarp together! Much as I adore them both, they are complex and difficult. So is their relationship, although it becomes very beautiful, as are they. They had to be united in quite a radical way, and I had to delve quite deep. Here's their first "encounter" on Earth.

Remember they do have a past on Cybertron from before the war but Mirage can't remember it and Skywarp has done his level best to forget it.

And thank you especially Illusion 224 and Ameri for your inspiring feedback – I got this finished after all!

Warnings: Slash/supernatural themes

Author designation: Mirage

Autobot Special Operations Team.

Position: Intelligence Officer

There was that saw noise ... and then everything went pitch black.

And yet, there was still something: I was aware.

And now, I realised, I was back in that strange place that I'd had a vague recollection of before. Outside, somewhere. A wild place. Mounds of rocks were scattered on the ground but they did not look like any of the formations on Cybertron and I sensed - rather than felt - that this was a place with a heavy atmosphere, most un - Cybertronian. I could also sense the crispness of the air and it seemed that everything was bathed in a silvery glow.

Around and about I could sense the presence of other sparks. They were strangely familiar and yet, I recall, I did not question their identity. There was a quiet acceptance that whoever they were they were meant to be there. And that was all.

I couldn't see them and, obviously, they couldn't see me. So I must be invisible. I remember laughing quietly to myself about that, after all, that was hardly a strange state of affairs for me. But it wasn't like being under the cover of the electro disruptor. I felt light, hollow as though my body had no substance; as though I were floating; and there was no sound. It was like being in a vacuum.

And it was suddenly so obvious what had happened. They had deployed the saw, of course, and I had died, and was about to cross into the Realm of Eternal Illumination.

Well, at least it hadn't hurt ....

......................

The Realm of Eternal Illumination. Very soon Primus would come and he would take back my spark and I would become one with the great matrix. That was how it worked. I knew all about it from my time at Simpurr.

And I remember thinking maybe that is as well. When you thought about all the events which had befallen Cybertron over the last few millennia, life in this realm was really pretty miserable. And my own contribution to it had hardly been a success.

But then I remember thinking it isn't fair. Why had Primus had to do this to me? Things had been different once, I knew. Things had started out full of promise. I'd had a great life ahead of me - but it had all gone wrong and everything had been taken away. Now I couldn't even remember how it once was.

And I'd spent aeons creeping in shadows trying to defeat an enemy who could not be beaten and trying to please a bunch of mechanisms who couldn't have cared less and didn't even like me. I was certain that I would be no loss to anyone now. The 'Cons would be relieved and the Autobots would probably relish packing up my parts. Why had this had to happen to me?

And I was suddenly overwhelmed with sadness, because I hadn't thought that it would end like this, and I wished it hadn't, and it all just was not fair.

And I remember I wept silently then, and asked Primus for an answer, but none was forthcoming; then I just hoped He would come and take my spark soon and get this over with. Because I saw no further point in hanging around ....

I remember it went very cold then, and everything went black again, and the sparks had gone ....

I thought: this is it, Mirage; goodbye cruel universe ....

... and I stilled inside; and a sort of calm came over me, and I resigned myself, and I waited ...

Author designation: Skywarp:-

I do not know how long I sat on that rock for. I remember only that the cold was extreme, and that all around it was very, very quiet, so much so that the air felt thick, and I felt as though I were alone in the universe, and in some kind of cocoon.

I couldn't stop crying, and I hated myself for being so un-Decepticon, and yet I felt I had a right to be like that, and darned if anyone was going to stop me; My universe had just fallen apart. They were going. The only two beings who had made my life worth living were going away; cos now I thought about it, there wasn't much else in life. The Cause, yeah. But what had I actually done in the Cause except fly around and blow things up and live in pit-spawned places? What else had it brought me? Stuff all.

The thing that was good about the Cause, was them. They had given it meaning. No, they had made it fantastic. And now they were going; and I felt useless and wretched because it had taken me all this time to realize all this and now it was too late.

The rest of my life was a disaster. I could see that now. TC spoke of the Command, but everyone knew I'd never do it without him, without them. The other 'Cons didn't even like me. That whole Soundwave brigade had been trying to get rid of me for aeons, and the coneheads couldn't stand me, and Shockwave hated me, and the triple changers thought I was a jerk. And I'd upset too many others because everyone reckoned I'd used them and broken up bonds and Primus alone knew what else.

Well, when they realised they were going to be stuck with me as their commander the coneheads would probably kill me. If Megatron didn't do it first.

Why had my wingmates done this to me? Why? I loved them and they were leaving me to come to an end like this!

How could they do it?

It was so, so not fair......

Mirage:-

I remember a sort of peace settled over me then in the darkness. There was an "up" side to this, after all. There would be no more having to prove myself all the time, and no more having to chase after 'Cons imagining that if they were all dead I would somehow get something back. When clearly that quest was so futile. Why had I not seen before just how futile it was? They said that before He took your spark you realised things you hadn't realised in life. Well, that must be it.

I gave an inner sigh. The idea of non existence was all right, actually. I meant nothing to the Autobots. If anything, they would be pleased to have me out of the way. No more stress for them having to worry what side I was on, or whether I was creeping around the corridors listening to their smutty conversations.

But, what was more to the point, I wouldn't have to put up with them any more either. No more sarcasm from Ratchet or disapproving glares from Ironhide; Or Sunstreaker looking as though he'd like to take me apart in one move or his brother sniggering beside him.

No more miserable Gears, or Brawn's temper, or Huffer whingeing, or Cliffjumper expounding his highly overrated abilities, or mindless babble from Bluestreak.

Most of all, no more Prowl and Jazz. That condescending, pompous piece with the doorwings had given me his last order.

I wondered if Jazz would be sorry. Maybe he would castigate himself for having left me and his face would be all tear stained as they packed me up. Surely that would be so, no matter what Prowl thought. And I remember feeling a grim satisfaction from that.

Of course, the few friends I did have would be sad as well. Hound and Trailbreaker and Bumblebee. In fact, they might even be devastated, and they would miss me. And that was not so good.

But they would get over it.

Skywarp:-

.... and then it felt like everything just became too much. I think my systems just shut down. I was suddenly going off line and I remember thinking that my emergency recovery systems must have kicked in and that this had never happened before but then I hadn't been through anything as dreadful as this before ...

... and the offlinedness would be a break, at least, a removal of the awfulness of the universe out there, just for a little while ...

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was what ran through my processor. Whatever it was, I remember the next thing, which was that I was suddenly all dizzy and couldn't get my bearings, and I remember the cold and the silence all around, and I just keeled forwards and fell on to the ground; then I just lay there and the ground was very hard and uneven and cold, and I couldn't move, but it didn't bother me that I couldn't move, because I didn't want to anyway ....

... at least, not at first ...

Mirage:-

I remember thinking, I must think peaceful thoughts. I must wait serenely for Primus. I tried to bring up an image of Primus, as I imagined Him to be, but could not because I did not know what Primus was.

And then I recall, there was a smidgeon of doubt.

Because I thought - well - wasn't the spark thing supposed to happen straight away? That was what they said in Simpurr. As you were about to die, Primus reached down and plucked it from you.

That was why robots went all grey when they died. It wasn't just that their spark had gone out, it had been taken away.

Well, they must have it wrong in Simpurr.

I went back to waiting in that blackness ...

Skywarp:-

Somehow I knew that Ravage was there again ...

... and I remember thinking: fraggin' cat! What in blazes do you want? Aren't I goin' through enough...?

... then I wondered if she was going to rip out my throat circuitry. She'd never liked me, after all. Detested me, in fact. And for a moment I got scared.

But then I thought of Screamer and TC finding my body lying there all mangled and useless and energon leaking everywhere and my spark out and they'd be all sad and sorry but it would be too late.

And that didn't seem such a bad idea. So I willed the cat to do her worst.

Mirage:-

In the inner reaches of my mind, a voice whispered.

The voice was deep and throaty, and spoke in an ancient tongue which I had not heard for many, many vorns. It said: "Not yet, not quite yet shien'kai..."

My spark gave a sudden jolt

I was not alone.

Something else was here with me, in this space, slinking slowly deep into my awareness, a forgotten echo from the distant past ...

It was as though the Universe froze in time. For I knew this was something ancient, primordial, not like the sparks from earlier, but older. A strangely familiar entity, and one to whom I had always been known...

And I remembered that shien'kai meant kitten in the ancient tongue. And I just wished, wished I could place that voice because there was something about it; something I needed to know. And something told me that this entity was going to do something significant. Not because it should, but because it could ....

... and that it would help me, but that there would be a price ...

"... your Tieg'hua will take care of you ..."

In the very depths of my spark, something stirred, and it was as though a veil lifted, and at the same time, the blackness evaporated and, as with the time before, I was back in the outside place again and I could feel the chill air.

And the sparks – they were back, too.

All of them.

Skywarp:-

The cat didn't do it.

Suddenly, she was gone, and then it was just like somebody flipped a switch in my processor.

The next thing, all this stuff started happening. It was like – scenes from a long time ago, getting played out in front of me. I was flying through a battle zone and there was stuff blowing up all around and Seekers getting shot down and dead and dying and injured; and I was scared, but it was all right because TC and Screamer were right there beside me and I knew that together we would get through it.

But then I looked and they weren't there. They'd left me. Out there ....

... and then I was in the sky alone, and I was getting fired on and there were heaps of forces on the ground and they had super powerful weapons and the weapons were all aimed on me; and I couldn't fly fast enough to get away from them; and I tried and tried but more and more were firing and it didn't matter how hard I flew there was no way out ...

... and I was going to die out here all alone because they had left me to die ...

... and I cried out to them ... no ... please ...

But nobody answered.

Mirage:-

Back in that place. Primus must have been not quite ready for my spark. The other must be a way station between life and death, and they were waiting too.

There were about a dozen of them, I sensed. Some seemed – troubled.

There was one. One in particular. It burned with great intensity, and it stood out among the others.

And there was more: I sensed great distress; unhappiness; despair.

Instinctively, I drew closer to that spark, and as I did so I could tell, although I knew not how, that its owner was frightened and lost and lonely, and that this was one who tried so much to appear not that way but could not hide it from me because, in this strange state, I could tell that it was so.

And I felt drawn to that spark, like a moth to a candle, because this was as I had been in life. I wanted to go to the owner of the spark and say: it is all right, you have nothing to fear and you are not alone, to tell him that I was there too, but it was as though there as an invisible barrier between me and him, and I could not reach through to the other side.

Skywarp:-

The scene changed. Now I was before Megatron.

He had the fusion canon powered and he was saying "I'm very disappointed in you, Skywarp. I had high hopes for you, but now I see that you are more useless and incompetent than even Starscream was. There is only one course of action open to me ..."

... then I was getting marched down this dim corridor and our feet clanged in the gloom; and on one side was Thrust and on the other Dirge, and they both had huge weapons in their hands and there were sneers on their ugly grey faces and behind them were their whole two squadrons of Coneheads.

We went into this great cavern where there were sulphur globes high on the walls and shadows dancing and Dirge handed me a dismemberment saw and he said "go ahead tetrajet start cuttin' yerself up. 'Cos it's gonna hurt a lot less if you do than if we do ..." and he laughed a horrible laugh and so did Thrust ...

Then I saw TC and Screamer at the back of the crowd and they saw me looking and they just turned and walked away out of the room and again I cried out after them but it was like they did not hear me ....

Mirage:-

How acutely I could feel that spark, and how much pain he was in. How wide and how terrible was the separation between us.

But yet, amazingly, a vision came to me then, of something a long way away: it was an image of Wheeljack, as though frozen, holding the saw. And suddenly, something was clear. I thought: I am not quite dead yet. There is still something I can do, and I knew then that I had come back to this place for a purpose.

And suddenly, a vision of Prowl smiling as the medic removed various parts of me came into my mind and of the others smirking as the parts were loaded into a transit box and the thought was suddenly very strong that I did not want them to have the satisfaction of my death and, what was more, to my amazement, I not want to die.

No – I wanted to live. I wanted another chance. There were things still left to be done on Cybertron, and I wanted the chance to do them.

But there was something I had to do first. Something to do with this spark....

And something else came to me: we can help each other ...

Skywarp:-

.... now I was back on the Ark; and all the bits and broken bodies and limbs were lying everywhere; except that this time I really was locked in with them and I couldn't get out.

The door to the Ark was sealed. There was no escape.

Then arms and legs and heads and bodies and tangles of wire and circuitry and Primus knew what else were moving, crawling across the floor into one mass of heaving parts; and they were all putting themselves back together and forming into some great behemoth like Devastator but with all different heads and all bits and parts in the wrong places ...

.... and this thing was lurching towards me .... hideous, horrible .... like nothing you can imagine ...

.... it had one big head and that was Optimus Prime's head and it had one huge optic and a great red cavern of a mouth ...

.... it opened its mouth and roared and bits fell off it ...

... it was coming to get me and ...

... I screamed, then, but there wasn't any sound; and I knew then that nobody cared, and that the Cons had all deserted me in here and that now this Autobot monster was gonna pull me apart and it was going to be a slow lingering death because of all of what I'd done to them over the vorns when they were alive ...

... and nobody was going to do a darned thing about it.

Mirage:-

The spark was so very deeply troubled.

He had done dreadful things, I was certain of that and it came to me that he had been my enemy in life, and that, in fact, all of those sparks were enemies, but that this one especially so.

My spark should have sunk at that knowledge. But it did not, because that was not all. There was a softness present; something like a memory trace of another time when the owner of that spark had not been as he became, as he was now; and, I knew also that whatever he had done, he suffered dreadfully and that even in that strange state it was deeply disturbing and I still wished I could go to him.

But it was not to be like that. For something else came to me which was related to and yet apart from all that. And it was so, so clear.

I found myself whispering to the spark: You have something of mine. Something which you took. Something which I need back if I am to live ...

... give it back, and this will make things better for you ....

With a supreme effort, I channelled my own spark energy and every thought process I possessed in the direction of that spark. And it seemed as though some connection sprang up, and what he could see in his mind, I saw also.

Skywarp:-

Suddenly, the monster was - gone.

Just like that!

But then there was all this stuff from even longer ago. Like - a very long time ago. Like – from before the war type long ago .... but it wasn't horrible. It was ...

... places I used to fly around on Cybertron ...

... at first I was buzzing along the expressways in Iacon over the top of the traffic and dodging in and around other flyers and Barricade was after me, siren wailing – because Seekers weren't supposed to go there but I always gave those cops a good run for their credits, and this time I was right there and I was having a good time but the scene didn't last long ...

... then the scene changed and I was over the great Southern Ocean, flying into wind, and I was getting buffeted and rocked by the force of it but it was no problem, and I plunged into it and skimmed low over the water and could smell the ocean and feel the cool spray as it came up off the whitecaps ...

... then I was over the vast Equatorial Plains, going fast, fast, faster, lifted by the heat currents rising from the surface; feeling the air rush cool against my surfaces and relishing the sounds of my quantum reactors humming and echoing off the bare rock ...

... on and on and on ....

Mirage:-

The light from the two suns glared and glinted off the bronze rock and made two shadows which kept pace, speeding beneath us; heat mirages shimmered in the distance...

Oh I was right there, with him.

He was a flyer, of course. More than that, he was immensely powerful, and from the speed at which we were moving he could only be a Seeker.

It was a strange realisation. I had spent all those years hunting them down for what they did and now I needed him. A little disquieting, it was, but not enough to deter me from my quest.

I felt impatient with him, however. Move... I whispered, even though I did not believe he could hear me.

... go like the wind ... take me where I have to go ... and hurry...

Yet, there was still that softness and the sorrow I had felt at his suffering. I still could feel it. And now there was more – the strangest sensation that I had known him in life, had done more than just know him, and that this was why I was so drawn to his spark and why I felt his misery so acutely.

But it was a very long time ago. Another echo from the corridors of time long passed through.

And it mattered not. Whatever had been was long gone. I thought: I need him only to provide what I must have and then that is the end of it although, it did occur to me also, that perhaps if I lived and we faced each other again as enemies then this time I would not hunt him down and kill him ...

... and that was an interesting thought ...

Skywarp:-

I was still skimming over the plains. And it was wild! The vastness, the nothingness, the speed and the wind. I felt like I'd been released from one of Megatron's mind prisons ...

And I had the weirdest sensation of not being alone. Like - I had a passenger.

No!

It was more like – a pilot. Even though with our alt forms on Cybertron there was no such thing as passengers or pilots.

When I realised that, I tried to wake up out of it all. It was like there was a bit of my mind came back online, and it was sifting through stuff about my Earth alt mode and the cockpit. That was what I thought, actually. That this was some Earth creature and it had taken over my mind and was using me to learn about Cybertron ...

.... then, next thing, I was over the Iron Mountains, high above them, and I could see the bronzed peaks rolling endlessly on below and the canyons like jagged gashes in between. I sensed I was headed for Iacon again ...

... and, sure enough, next I was back flying low level, and I was winding along that canyon with the river rushing through that led down from the Mountains to the Lake; and then right below was that waterfall crashing out into the waters of the Lake ...

... and then, it got darker; because I was in amongst all those creepy islands with the tall cliffs which were at that end of the Lake, the ones with the really old buildings on them which towered up there above like they were warning you off; and they that blotted out the sun, and it was so real that I shuddered, like I used to every time I went through that place, and surged forward so as to get through it .....

Mirage:-

He was still moving at great speed. Yet, we were winding effortlessly through those gorges with the water rushing in torrents through the channels below. As the rock walls sped by to either side in a blur I could not help but wonder at his incredible judgement and skill. It felt magnificent to be a part of it.

But there was so much more than that – the main thing – the truly incredible thing was - I knew this place. Better - remembered it. Yes! I even remembered the name. Shadowvale they called it. And I knew also that I had been here a lot as a mechalescent. And although I had never seen it like this before I could remember how I had looked at that rushing water from high up in the towering edifices on the cliffs above, and I knew also that events crucial to my life had happened there.

I couldn't remember what those events were. But I knew that, in time, I would.

I also knew that what I sought, the reason for this escapade, was getting closer, much closer, and I urged him on, on ...

Skywarp:-

... I was leaving the spooky islands behind and I swung my wings into a delta shape and fled on across the water and out into the Lake and the light from both suns was making patterns of light dance on the lilac water; and it was real pretty and I could feel the cool surface just below and I felt good ....

... and it had to do with that pilot too. He was making me feel good ...

Mirage:-

His speed was awesome!

It was taking no time at all to cross the Lake. And he was so low over the water! His reflection shone deep in the waters, a twin fleeting below, and I could see that he was a tetrajet, a large and powerful one; beautiful too; deadly, but very beautiful; and I knew this explained how amazingly fast he was and the way he could move so swiftly and so fluidly...

Skywarp:-

... and then I was going on, on, and ahead were all those smaller islands with the beaches and the flash buildings on them with the arches and spires sparkling, and the curvy bridges and the boats going underneath; and over to my left I could see a way away the line of the scarp at the edge of the Lake where the falls began and, behind it, in the distance, Iacon glittering ...

... and I knew this was the Towers District, of course, and that it was somewhere else I wasn't supposed to be but that I always came here because it made me feel good, so good ...

Mirage:-

And then suddenly all around there were flickers and flashes as the light from the two suns of Cybertron glinted off steeples and pillars and towers and turrets, marble and quartz flashing white and grey above the waters, dazzling colours as a million crystals sparkled, refelected in the waters ...

... and that was when my spark fairly cried out. For what I sought was in this place, and it was so exactly as I remembered ...

.... and then the Seeker was banking steeply twisting and turning through the islands, diving under bridges, effortless, wingtips clipping the water, and even in that state I felt quite light headed with the sheer exhileration of it all, and again there was that feeling of knowing him somewhere, but when and where eluded me.

But I knew I very, very close now to getting what it was that that I needed. Just so close ...

Skywarp:-

I was skimming just over the glassy surface; and all around were those high pointed buildings and around them I could see jetties and stairs and pagodas and walls and crystal gardens, and on my left were the golden domes and I remembered that was the old Palace. And there were all those fountains and statues in the water and huge urns and that scent in the air that was always there – and I knew I had smelt that scent before somewhere, recently, and not on Cybertron ...

The pilot was right there with me, light as an Earthbird's feather. I could feel the excitement in his spark ...

... and I knew then that he loved this place.

I liked him then, whoever he was. I really liked him. I thought him sweet, and with good taste; and my spark went out to him; because I had used to love this place too, all those aeons ago, in those long gone days before war, and Causes, and death, and when I flew for the feelings of freedom and joy and not just to shoot things out of the sky.

Mirage:-

He swept on, and as we came to every part of the place data flooded my circuits and memories of things thought long lost were awakened. I knew then that whatever this Seeker had been, I was not angry at him, and I felt nothing but grateful to him now, and I wanted him to not suffer again and to be happy. I remember I wanted so much to touch him, physically, then. No, more than that. I wanted to hold on to him tightly and never, ever let go..

And it seemed now as though as we sped on we were merging somehow. As though my spark were getting closer to his. And I wanted that to be. Oh how much I wanted it to be, because what I wanted from him was just so very, very close ...

Come on! I whispered come on...

Skywarp:-

I just suddenly felt completely – energised. Like really, really good. It's the only way I can describe it.

And then - there it was. Dead ahead. Just where it always was. That one island – with the building on it with the three really tall round pointed towers, taller and greater than all the others, and the towers each had a sun, a star and a moon on them.

... and in the water next to it was a fountain which looked like it sprayed millions of silver teardrops into the lake ..

... and the sunlight sparkled off it all ..

... beautiful, it was. Real beautiful ....

Mirage:-

This was it!

Now!

It was as though for the first time ever in my existence I let go of all that I was, and gave it to him and our sparks brushed for just the briefest of instants. Rapture exploded through every part of me, surging as would a dam which burst its banks, overwhelming in its intensity.

And there was a flash of blue and in that instant a full image of everything we had just seen lodged in my databanks for ever and ever ....

... for that place – that had been my home. That was the life I had, and lost. That was what I was.

He had brought it back. Yes, he had. And I worhipped him for it. Yet, strangely I knew also, right then, without a doubt, that once he had destroyed it; and for an instant my spark rallied ...

... but I could not hate him for it. I sensed somehow that it was not all his doing, and that he had suffered as a result of it. And he had brought it back, and it seemed that he had given his very spark to do that, and because he did that, I forgave him for whatever he did before ....

I remember that was my last thought. It hovered like a moth in the dark reaches of my awareness, and then winked out.

And the Seeker was gone; because suddenly it was all gone, and I was falling, falling ...

Falling through blackness ...

Skywarp:-

All I know it was like some giant surge went all through my systems and for a moment there everything was hot. White hot. Like – fry all your circuits in an astrosecond type hot. And it was the most amazing sensation – but then it was all gone, and I was back on Earth, and I didn't know where in Kell I'd been or how I'd got back, but I could feel that hard gravel again and there was that cold chill in the air and I knew something had happened but I didn't know what ...

.. and then, in that instant, I did remember. Oh yeah, I remembered all right; and I cried out then because that place, that beautiful place ... it was right there in my mind ...

That place wasn't there any more.

It hadn't been there for a long, long time.

It wasn't there - because I destroyed it!

And the pain – the pain from knowing that was worse than anything else that had happened so far. I remember that I lay there then, and I could not even cry. It was beyond that. I just lay there numb and in shock and feeling absolutely nothing, until gradually offlinedness crept into my systems again and there was a greyness ...

... and then a blackness. No visions, this time. It was a black void, blacker than the blackest pit in Kell.

Mirage:-

And suddenly, I was online again and there was a cold hard surface underneath me which felt like smooth metal, and I could not see, but right above was a mighty roaring; and I knew instantly that I was back in the medlab on the trolley and the noise was the saw ....

Before I could think further a mass of data went streaming through my processor. You are not nothing, you are something; You are an Alpha Caste of the Iacon Towers of Cybertron, an Illusor, an ancestor of the Guardian of the Ancient Rulers. You have seen the place from where you come and you will never again forget it, or who and what you are; you will live, you must live ...

.... and you will not let these morons push you around ... .

And then I felt another surge of energy, and several systems booted up in rapid succession, and the most important of these was the motor relay system which powered the upper limbs on the left side of my body.

I knew what I had to do. I summoned all my strength, raised my left arm and swiped wildly and blindly in the direction of the saw noise...

Skywarp:-

I was being shaken, shaken, shaken...

A vocaliser was making a noise. "Skywarp, get online, we have a job to do! Skywarp! Respond to me immediately!"

I didn't want to be online. But the vocaliser and the shaking wouldn't stop. I gradually unshuttered my optics. An alien light came into them and at the same time into view swam a winged form. A familiar winged form. A red and blue and grey winged form. And it's wings were twitching impatiently.

"What is the matter with you?!" it snapped. "Do you think this mission is going to get accomplished with you lying around in the dirt ..."

I was instantly online. "Starscream ..."

and then I was up and hanging on to him, and nothing else mattered, and I was sobbing on to his shoulder and I was saying: don't go, please, please don't go, I love you ...

"WHAT?" he said. "What the .... Skywarp!" And I felt him trying to shake me off, but I clung on with everything I had.

"Don't leave me ... please Starscream ..." I said again. I was not letting go ...

... not ever.

Mirage:-

.... my arm made contact with metal. Hard. Then there was a loud **clang** and I heard the saw go into a shrill screech and it sounded like it was running unchecked; then I heard Wheeljack's voice exclaiming: "Whoa!" in great surprise.

My energy spent, my arm dropped to my side and I could feel it dangling over the side of the trolley. But then I felt the engineer's hand on my chest, and then it moved rapidly to my temple, and he was very close cos I could hear his intakes hissing, and next thing he yelled: "Ratch! Get over here... he's .... I don't believe it. He's alive!"

I heard the medic say "WHAT ...?" and it sounded as though something large fell on the floor, and then there was a commotion and footsteps and suddenly he was with me too and his hands were upon me, and then it all came back to me what I had heard him saying before, and I disliked him more intensely than at any previous time in my existence; yet, despite this, all I could feel was intense relief that he was who he was and they had realised I was not dead.

"Primus ...!" the medic yelled. ".... life support machines, quick! And then he was yelling into his com : Bumblebee - medbay! Code 14 ..."and then there was a great scrabbling and the sound of machinery again and crashing and clanging and then I heard the door burst open and an extra set of feet come pounding in ....

... then I was being pushed and pulled and I could feel things being plugged in all over the place and systems starting to reboot here and there, and then my spark gave a sudden surge and the rest of my systems came online, and there was a roar in my audials as my pump leapt into full operation.

Above it all, I could hear Wheeljack saying "Hey! I told ya there'd be a failsafe mechanism ..."

Skywarp:-

I felt a great shove in my chest and I lost balance and fell backwards, and now I was sprawled in the gravel among the rocks and Earth bushes looking up at him, and he was towering above me, and his face was dark and he looked all cross.

"Explain yourself!" he said.

I was still sobbing, and I knew I looked stupid and unconlike, but I didn't care. I blurted out: "When we get back to Cybertron, I don't want you to leave! Or if you and TC go off I want to come with you ..."

He was looking amazed now, like he thought I must have blown my main neural circuitry. He shook his head and muttered something.

But then his face went softer and he knelt down and gently stroked my cheek, in a way that he hadn't for a very long time – longer than I could remember; and I thought at the time it was the loveliest thing I have ever felt in my life. I grabbed hold of his hand and held it against my lips and shuttered my optics and cried some more.

I felt his other hand stroke my cheek again and he sighed. "Skywarp!" he said, "I know you've missed me. And I've missed you too. So much, sweet spark. And I don't know what you're talking about, but right now the only place anyone is going is back to Cybertron ... now let go of me please. Come on now ..."

I didn't want to detach myself from him but I did, slowly. I looked up at him and he was smiling "We could, of course, go on the scrap heap if we don't get this structure demolished .."

And then he was up and striding away, his feet crunching. And I remember looking around at the desert and seeing that the sky in the east was red, and realizing it was not so cold.

"Come, Skywarp ..." he called. He disappeared round behind the rock outcrop.

There was something ... what was it? Vague memories of tall shining buildings and still waters. I couldn't figure it. So I just got up and stumbled after him, confused. I guessed it didn't really matter. It didn't look like he was going. That was the only thing that mattered right then.

The last thing I remember before I left that spot was that the cat came out of some bushes as I was leaving and she had some mangled winged Earth thing dangling out of her jaws. Disgusting creature, I remember thinking.

She narrowed her optics to slits and shot me a look of pure venom and I gave her what I hoped was one back and we went separately over to the camp.

I couldn't help feeling that it had been a pretty weird start.

Mirage:-

I found I could move and see again and their three forms wavered slowly into focus.

"Mirage!" Rachet was saying, "Geez, you sure had us worried there for a while. We thought we'd lost ya for sure. Wouldn't want to lose our favourite spy now, would we?" and I could see Bumblebee there smiling and Wheeljack nodding in agreement.

You two faced so and so. I felt incredibly angry and I longed to just tell them what I thought and storm out of there, as I was so good at doing and had done so many times. But I couldn't, of course, because I was incredibly weak. Besides, I surmised, controlling myself, it may be useful to have them not know if I had heard anything or not. So, instead I looked at them with as much of something close to a smile as I could muster and said:

"Of course. I'm very sure you wouldn't"

Wheeljack looked at Ratchet, guiltily, I thought. "Welcome back!" lights flashed in time with his vocaliser.

"Yeah!" said Bumblebee. He came over to the trolley then and took my hand and squeezed it, and that felt nice.

I was suddenly very, very tired then, and I shuttered my optics. But it was a peaceful tiredness. Strongly in my awareness was that place with the three spires, and the lake, and everything else which was the Towers, and I closed my optics and basked in the memories I had not enjoyed for so long. I did not know how I had come to remember it all again. But right then that didn't matter.

"Thank you, Bumblebee," I said, and then I drifted offline.

All in all, I concluded - it had been a pretty weird start; but it was all right.

............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Bit different, huh? Hope you liked it. Let me know.

It's just the beginning! They don't recall all the details of this for a while – but the experience is lodged now right there in their circuits and it soon starts to exert an influence. This will now closely follow the first ever G1 episodes More than meets the Eye. And told from this perspective, it does get interesting!!

There's a lot of intrigue on the way too – apart from M&S. Look out for the cat. And the Reflector triplets.

Music – if you like all that imagery with the lake and the Towers I recommend you listen to "Teardrops on the Fire" by Massive Attack – goes really well.

Don't know how much of this – or my other stories – I will get done in the next week or so as I have my 3000km house move to contend with. Not fun. **thinks** I need a spacebridge. Any offers??? A.