Chapter 3

What I found was not the warm embrace of my girlfriend, though I could still feel it. Nor did I reawaken to the sight of Pan's forest. Instead I was greeted by a warm sun and cool ocean water on my feet. I recognized this place. I was sitting on the dock of Camp Half-Blood's lake with my bare feet dangling in the cool water. The scene was overwhelmingly relaxing, and, in spite of my recent confusion and suffering, I felt my shoulders sag as I felt the worry melt away. However, I could not relax away the hyperactivity prickling my every nerve.

It's an impossible to describe feeling, but it was no longer painful. It was just like my senses were being overloaded with conflicting information. I think my ADHD was the only thing keeping my brain from tearing itself apart from trying to make sense of what I was feeling. Slowly, I grew used to the sensation. I was then able to notice the being next to me.

I'm not sure being is even really the right word for what it was. I got the distinct impression that it didn't actually have a place in the universe. The aura it gave off was unlike any god, titan, or giant I had ever encountered. The face kept shifting and changing, but the expression was always the same placid and relaxed face with eyes that seemed more distant than the faintest star in a perfectly clear night sky. It's no wonder I didn't notice it before. It sat perfectly still, and even with an ever shifting form it didn't create even the slightest ripple in the water.

In spite of everything, though, it was easy to tell that this thing, whatever it was, was immensely powerful. How, then, could I relax? Unlike any other powerful being he had ever met this thing didn't inspire any sense of fear in him. Then it took the form of his mother. This took me by surprise and it seemed to take notice.

It seemed to finally decided on a form and turned to face him as a woman with long brown hair that fell down past her shoulders and lips that were pink and slightly narrow. Her posture suggested royalty, but she wore a dark blue dress and a gray cardigan sweater that was unbuttoned. She seemed to be an impossible cross between an age-less elf from the Lord of the Rings and a comforting mother.

"Hello Perseus," she said.

"Hello," was all I could manage still in mild shock.

"I'm glad you could make it," she said still almost completely expressionless.

"Umm thanks," I said. "So, umm, who are you? And how did we get to camp?" Me and my mouth apparently can't help but ask rude questions.

She smiled for the first time since I'd seen her. "I am Chaos, creator to the universe, and we are not really at your Camp Half-Blood. I just thought the scene might help you relax and better digest the situation."

Now I was digesting. "Right," I said, "umm, so how did I get here? Or where are we if we aren't at camp?"

"Well," she began, "those are always difficult questions. We are effectively nowhere. As best as I can describe it, when you let go of all your earthly bonds to close the doors of death you "jumped" from the mortal world to here. You see, when I say "we are nowhere," what I mean is we are ascended out of the confines of your dimension. Does that make any sense?"

"No," I say without hesitation.

She sighs. "How do you feel?"

"Umm, fine I suppose," I say a little taken aback.

"Yes, now," she says, "but before you entered this world you nearly exploded, right? Why? What was that feeling? Like you could feel everything happening all at once, right?"

"Umm, yeah" I said still confused and not at all sure where this was going.

"Well it is," she said. "We are outside of time and space as you know it. Here we are able to experience everything that has or could potentially happen at the same time. So, I suppose I lied before. We aren't actually nowhere. We are everywhere. But, while we are "here" we can't interact with the mortal world."

"Why not?" I asked, afraid this meant I wouldn't be able to see my friends again.

"Well think about how you got here," Chaos said. "I just told you that you "jumped" here. You saw the consciousness of a faded god. I call it the Chasm and it completely separates us from the mortal world."

"But I thought you said you created the universe?" I said. "How can you create a world you can't touch?"

She smiled like a mother watching her child learn and grow. "I lied again. I can influence the world. I set the world in motion with my first creations and I hold the seeds of all things that may come to be in the world, but that is the extent of my influence. I can never touch or talk or connect with the world in anyway."

"Is that why you're so distant?" I asked. "You're everywhere at once, but you aren't with anyone." I suddenly felt are of her loneliness in an eternity without any kind of connection with anyone.

She smiled again, but in this smile there was so much more sadness. "I can only watch the story of history, and it's always so sad." She then took on a look of seriousness. "I have a choice to offer you."

This filled me with dread. Never have I had an experience where a god gave an easy or good choice. "What sort of choice?"

"You may stay here and rule as chaos, or you may attempt to journey home. Be warned, you are not the first to attempt this journey. Very few are successful and even few can adapt to the world with all that you have experienced."

"I can go home?" I asked now filled with hope not even slightly concerned with her final sentence.

"Yes." she said with what appeared to be a hint of sadness. "But you may be driven insane on the way, and if you do not go mad on the way the slowly the future and the past will collide inside your brain until you can no longer tell what is real and what isn't. If you choose to stay, however, I will give you my power as Chaos and go to the mortal."

"Why would you give me your power?" I asked.

She smiled at me again. So sad and lonely was her gaze that I understood before she could say a word. "So I can be free of it and roam the earth in search of meaning each of you mortals seem to find in your lives."

Guilt spread through me like it did the last time I had abandon a girl in isolation. I never found out if the gods had kept their promise to free Calypso. I wasn't sure I was prepared to put another person through such loneliness again, but could I really leave Annabeth?