1/27/09

A/N

Now THIS is longer. The actual story part I mean. I'm content with it, some was forced and there was such a mixture of dialogue and narrator…phew….

Rating

PG13 for swears and violence, rating may change in certain chapters, you will be informed when such happens.

Harry Potter and the Inner Demon

Chapter 21

"R-remus!" Natsu's eyes were wide and his nostrils flared, inhaling the scent of earth mixed with the pungent odor that came with an extended trip to the hospital wing. His lip curled back to reveal a rather intimidating fang and he hurriedly put a stop to it. "I thought you were still in bed from the full moon." Remus shook his weary head and amber eyes connected with jade. The young demon recoiled from the hurt and betrayal that lingered in them, looking away.

"We need to talk Harry." The werewolf hesitated a moment before correcting himself, "Natsu." He stood and gestured for him to follow.

Nibbling on his lip, Natsu followed him until they made their way to Remus's office and sat down. The somber looking man had bags under his eyes and—despite the tension between them at the moment—Natsu felt inclined to pity him for the stress he must be under. Several minutes were spent in silence except for the shuffling of papers as Remus cleaned up his desk and the crackling of the fire eating away at the logs in the fireplace.

It was warm and comfortable in the office and Natsu soon found himself being lulled to sleep in the cushioned arms of the plush chair he had settled into. Eyes drooping and head nodding, he was jolted awake by a tap on the shoulder. Remus had prodded him and looked as though he were expecting something. He could only shrug meekly and Remus decided to start.

"How did…this…happen?" He asked, eyeing the elongated ears and long silky tail that Natsu had acquired not so long ago. It felt like just a week had passed since he had found his true self and met his brother. He quietly explained to his father's old friend what he had missed and attempted to explain how.

"I guess when I was just a young pup the miko meant to send me into a sort of time limbo, or something like that. She must not have done it right or maybe when my soul was exorcised from my body it was sent to the future and it searched for something similar it could latch on to. It must have seen my mother as a candidate since magic is a bit like youkai and taken the chance." Natsu scowled, "but I don't know if I simply possessed the baby that was growing inside her or if I—this is really weird but—might have made her pregnant with myself. "

He flushed under Remus's unmoving stare and was beginning to fear he had said something a little too strange for the man when a loud bark of a laugh struck him. That was Sirius's laugh! His head shot up and stared Remus down as he fought the conflicting emotions in his heart and the fluttering in his chest. Remus never laughed like that, his was a quiet chuckle that was warmed the soul; it did not cause the heart to overflow with bubbles that sent great bursts of joy with each pop.

"Why?" He demanded, losing himself to the anger that now seemed to multiply. "That's not your laugh, it's Sirius's!" He snarled at Remus's stunned and confused expression. "It's his, only his!"

"It's tradition."

Natsu narrowed his eyes in confusion, biting back the fierce retort and swallowing the lump—as well as the bubbles that resided—in his throat. "Explain," he growled.

"I have adopted Sirius's way of expressing joy as a sign of my devotion and love for him as my last true friend." Remus replied a cold edge to his voice, red rimmed eyes older and domineering. Natsu almost submitted to it but forced himself to stay steady and didn't respond. "Sirius was my pack mate and fellow marauder, friend and…Something greater." Remus didn't elaborate but turned his gaze down to the desk and Natsu felt his muscles relax, not even having noticed they had tensed up.

"I heard what you were saying to Severus earlier, Natsu," He whispered. "I know that you blame me for his death but-" He rubbed his face roughly, worry lines that should just be forming on his still relatively young face etched wide spread shadows across his eyes and mouth; telling of pain, sorrow, and regret.

"I couldn't lose you too."

"You wouldn't have," Natsu growled, gripping the arms of the chair, sleep long gone and replaced with nerves. "I would have gotten to him before he fell through and we'd all be fine and he'd have a chance to be cleared, and-" He stopped, swallowing hard.

"There was no way for you to get across that room and passed countless death eaters in time, Ha-Natsu. The most you could have done would have been to be cursed by Bellatrix and hurt!" The snort Remus received did little to ease either one of their anger and he glowered at the younger to quiet him.

"I held on to you because it was the best thing that could be done for you at the time. Though I sometimes wish—dream even—of what may have been, I know that there was only one realistic conclusion to the battle between them. Sirius was in the wrong spot at the wrong moment and I would have traded placed with him at a moment's notice. If only to remedy my own foolish mistakes. " Looking Natsu in the eye again, " I should have pushed for a trial. It probably wouldn't have happened because of my…" he smiled grimly, "condition, but I could have tried none the less." He watched his hands as they fidgeted with a quill, eyes wet.

"It's not really your fault…" Natsu grumbled, pity hitting him hard again. Those eyes were just heart wrenching. Maybe he was just being a motherly inu youkai but he couldn't stand watching someone he had—at least once—felt somewhat close to. "There was too much happening and the ministry wanted a scapegoat. With Voldemort gone, Fudge had to find a new one." He hesitated before reaching across the desk to take Remus's hand in his own, quill set aside. The tough, lightly scarred hand was soothed by Natsu's warm, soft thumb and the anger that had been lurking beneath the surface of Natsu's heart receded completely, leaving a sense of peace and content between the two.

"I'm sorry for blaming you, Remus," He whispered solemnly. "I was being childish." Remus smiled gently at him and replied, "You are a child Ha-Natsu." The younger sent him a mock glare which he returned with bright eyes and his—not Sirius's—small chuckle that calmed their inner beasts.

"I suppose I should return you to your brother," Remus finally stated after a glance at the clock. It was late, much later than Natsu had though and the reminder seemed to queue his eye lids to get heavy once more. "Oh no, pup," Remus admonished lightly. "I am in no fit state to carry you all the way back down to the dungeons."

"What are you doing out anyway?" Natsu slurred, dragging himself from the comfortable plush chair that he missed within seconds. "Snape said you'd be out in the morning…" He gave a weak grin at Remus's embarrassed smile. "I'm not supposed to be out yet. I snuck out once Poppy had gone to bed." Natsu giggled a bit as they exited the office and moved in the direction of the dungeons. "The Headmaster informed me of your being who you are just before the full moon and I didn't have a chance to speak to you before hand."

Once before the gargoyle Natsu turned and gave Remus a hug around the middle. The man was startled but returned the gesture with a pat on the head. "I'd like an explanation about why you shrunk later, 'kay pup?" He said playfully and pulled way in time to dodge the half hearted smack Natsu had aimed at him. "Night Remus," he muttered tiredly and spoke the password to the gargoyle. It stepped aside allowing him entrance and he came face to face—this was happening a lot tonight—with Seshomaru. A worried and anxious glaze was cast over his eyes and he pulled Natsu into a hug, nose twitching as he caught the blizzard of smells and aromas that clung to his younger sibling.

"You spoke to the wolf," he whispered into Natsu's neck, pulling the small pup into his arms. "I'm glad."

"Aniki, can't we do this in the mo-" Natsu yawned widely, "-in the morning?" Seshomaru swept Natsu on to his arm and let him snuggle in to his should as he carried him up the stairs. The rising and falling of his climb had rocked the pup to sleep and Seshomaru had to use his tail to open the door. After tucking Natsu in he gave him a peck on the head and left to his own room, smiling at the weak, "Night," that followed him.

Warm sunlight fell on Natsu's face, slowly drawing him from his deep sleep. A prod to his side had him bolting up, confused and disoriented. Another poke sent him wriggling back onto the bed and he heard his brother chuckle softly. With a mock snarl, Natsu demanded, "What's wrong with you, you cruel poker of the innocent?" Only to receive a tickle under his ribs that had him giggling and yipping in delight. As his breath began to run short, the hand attacking him withdrew and he got a full view of his older brother through watery eyes.

Silvery hair let loose nearly brushed the ground and the great fluffy tail was wrapped over his shoulder, immaculately cleaned and brushed. Seshomaru wore a black yukata that could pass for elegant dress robes and appeared godly as ever. Natsu took in the caring expression in the golden eyes, savoring it while it lasted as he knew it would be replaced with a cold mask as soon as the students returned to the school.

"You need to be prepare yourself for lunch, the Headmaster wants everyone there to run through a rehearsal for the Welcoming Feast." Natsu rolled his eyes as Seshomaru moved to his wardrobe and carefully selected a clean yukata that resembled his own but for the white designs around the hems.

"What about our talk?" Natsu asked quietly, watching for any changes of expression. He noted immediately that his brother's eyes hardened. Liquid gold had turned a duller shade as he replied, "We will discuss things after lunch; it would be best to have plenty of time." Natsu nodded and looked to his clock which read some obscene comment about lazy bums that didn't get up on time.

After a quick shower, the two walked to the Great Hall in comfortable silence and peering out the windows once out of the dungeons to admire the life growing around the castle. The thestrals were roaming outside of the forest and rows of carriages were lines up for when they would be needed that night. Everything seemed brighter and more pleasant as Seshomaru pushed open the staff entrance, allowing Natsu to enter before him, revealing the Hall properly bedecked in all it's decorations and the floors and walls scrubbed even more thoroughly than Natsu thought would be possible.

"Ah! The Janfrer brothers!" Dumbledore spread his arms in welcome and ushered them to their assigned seats near the far right of his own, placing them only a seat or two away from Hagrid and Snape. "Natsu, my boy," Dumbledore started. "After the Welcoming Feast you may feel free to sit anywhere you'd like but keep in mind that you'll need to keep from arousing suspicions. I'd suggest," his blue eyes twinkled madly, "A little inter house relations would be nice, hmm?" Natsu nodded, already expecting the orders, yet feeling somewhat guilty for not even sending his friends an owl about what was going on. Poot Hedwig would be confined to his room for the most part he couldn't risk a student recognizing her.

Sitting between his brother and Professor Flitwick, he watched with amusement as a rather irate Professor McGonagall sped her way through the list of first years. He recognized a family name or two but they sounded predominantly muggle. Dumbledore gave his speech to the four empty tables with a loony grin on his face and clapped his hands for the food to arrive. Lunch was quite casual, lighter than usual even and Natsu couldn't help but feel a little cheated. All this splendor only to lead to a grilled cheese sandwich with a meager bowl of soup! He was a growing pup still! Another, though much shorter, speech from Dumbledore and the staff was dismissed. Natsu made sure to check with Snape about their potions work being put off for the day and made his way to the gargoyle that guarded his and Seshomaru's chambers.

Seshomaru was sitting neatly on the couch, sipping tea and looking very much like a fairytale prince. He tried to picture how Lavender Brown and Parvarti Patil would react to their new DADA teacher; it wasn't that hard, really.

Noting his presence, Seshomaru patted the cushion beside him and Natsu took a seat, trying to emulate the way his brother managed to keep his yukata from wrinkling. "So," he mumbled under his breath. Seshomaru inhaled and exhaled heavily before starting. "I apologize for forcing so much on you. I should have thought more about whether you would be willing and able to do all the training that I wished to get completed in a—realistically impossible—amount of time. I will seek you out so we may come upon an agreement next time rather than just instruct you to do something." He flashed a tight smile and set down his tea to wrap his arm around Natsu's shoulders.

The pup unconsciously leaned into him; he had missed his brother's comforting scents after seeing him so little in the past week. "Next time I'm upset about something," he began. "I'll tell you so we can resolve it before I get too frustrated and punch a hole in the balloon." Seshomaru's chuckle rumbled through his chest.

It seemed much too simple and he told his brother that. "Well," Seshomaru snorted, "you're not exactly the most complicated of pups." The teasing tone to his voice was the only thing that kept Natsu from tackling him. Instead he gave him a toothy grin and cuddled even closer into the taiyoukai's grip. "Now," He lokoed up at his brother expectantly. "Since we have so much time left over from this 'long and complicated' talk, why don't tell me about this beast transformation." He giggled at the look he received.

"Wasn't the 'long and complicated' talk caused by the beast transformation?"

"No, just your demon lord showing."

"Oh, of course. How silly of me."

The two shared a mocking smile and Seshomaru began to explain the process of a beast transformation. "You need to focus on your youki, and just let it go."

"Let it go?" Natsu questioned, face contorted with confusion. "Why would I let it go, wouldn't I need to transform?"

"Not at all. Hold onto our youki is an instinct that's been developed through the generations in order to disguise ourselves as well make living easier." His voice held a smidgen of pride for their ancestors as he elaborated, "A mature inu youkai's beast form can be as tall as the trees in the Forbidden Forest." Natsu gazed at him wide eyed in amazement. Seshomaru smirked at him. "Our father was as large as this entire castle," his eyes had taken a more somber look to them. "I'm afraid I'm still only 4 stories high."

"Are we going to make Hogwarts our unofficial measuring tape then?" Natsu giggled.

"Maybe, why don't we look into that."

The remaining time before the feast was spent inside their common room, making jokes and plans for the rest of the year. Once they made their way to the Great Hall, Natsu's heart felt lighter than it had in days.

TBC.