A/N: This should have been posted a lot earlier, so I apologize to all of my lovely readers.

Glo4twilight – I hope you managed some sleep before work, and I hope you are all caught up on my stories so that you aren't up till two in the morning reading them. LOL

Lovebuggkiss – yeah, I'm the best. I know it. I'm also very humble!

Everyone else- yes, there will be hot lemons. Many of them. Just relax and be patient. I probably won't update this story for a day or two. I'm desperate to have the shit hit the fan in my 'American Girl' story.

*I don't own twilight or anything like that, but I do own a lot of sunscreen. One of the perks of living in Las Vegas!

BPOV

My eyes flew open in surprise as Edward blurted out 'I don't give a shit about Jacob Black; I give a shit about you Bella' I'm still shocked and I've been standing in the kitchen for almost two minutes with my mouth gaping wide open.

"Are you going to say something?" Edward asked curiously as he grabbed another beer from the fridge and handed it to me.

"Thanks," I said quietly as I opened the bottle and took a big drink. "I don't know what to say Edward. Our kiss was... it was nice," I started to say before he interrupted me.

"It was better than nice Bella, and you know it. It was honestly one of the best kisses I ever had, if not the best kiss, so don't claim it was just nice, because I know you are lying," he shouted at me as I wandered into the living room and sat down on the couch. He followed and sat down beside me, staring at me intently.

"Fine, it was fucking fantastic. Best kiss of my twenty three years, but it doesn't mean we should do it again," I said reluctantly as I watched his face fall before me. He had clearly wanted something to happen between us, and not only was I not ready for it; I didn't think it was a good idea to get involved with the big brother of my best friend.

"Why not?" he asked anxiously as he reached over and tried to grasp my hand in his. I tried to reposition myself, so he couldn't hold my hand, but he simply looked dejected, which was what I had been trying to avoid.

"I'm not ready, and even if I was… I don't think I should because of who you are. You're Alice's big brother and I'm her best friend. I just don't think it would be right," I admitted grudgingly. I had grown to have feelings for Edward in the past few days, but I knew I couldn't act on them. I was surprised by Edward's reaction to everything though. He stood from the couch and looked down at me furiously.

"If you don't fucking want me, stop with all the flirting. You are throwing out signals to me that scream 'fuck me Edward' and then when I even mention anything about the kiss we shared, you clam up, and claim you can't be with me. It's a pile of bullshit, and we both know it." He grabbed his beer and took another long drink, like he needed the liquid courage to continue speaking to me. "You're over Jacob because you were never truly in love with him. You just can't be happy. That's your fucking problem Bella. The moment something good comes into your life, you feel the need to fuck it up. Perhaps you should write about that." I felt the tears building in my eyes, but before I could look up at him or saying anything in response, he was gone from the room, bounding up the stairs and slamming the door behind him.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around me and started to cry. I had feelings for Edward, definite romantic feelings, but I couldn't act on them. I was certain that Alice would never approve of Edward and I being together; although I was certain she would like it even less if I was to hook up with Emmett. My main problem was that I didn't want to hook up with Edward; I wanted to be with him. He made me feel things I had never felt before, including wanted. He wanted me and I turned him down coldly. My heart ached because I knew he was upstairs, upset at how I had treated him and I didn't know how to fix things.

I gripped my beer like a lifeline and tried unsuccessfully to think of what would make me happy. I sat alone on the couch for what seemed like hours as daylight turned into night. I never made the dinner that I had promised him, knowing full well he wouldn't leave the room to eat it anyways. I was still trying to find the secret to my happiness. Edward seemed pretty certain that all my troubles didn't stem from my breakup with Jacob, but rather my inability to allow myself to be happy. The only thing that currently made me happy was Edward, and as I walked up the stairs and knocked on the door to his room, I knew what I had to do.

He didn't answer when knocked the first time, but I had expected that. When I opened the door slowly, I found him fast asleep on the bed, his iPod cradled in his hand and his headphones draped loosely over his head. I pulled them away from him and crawled into bed beside him. I was nervous; I had no idea what the fuck to do that wouldn't make him hate me more. So, I decided to just do what came naturally and I leaned forward and kissed him. It wasn't a soft peck either, I licked his bottom lip and then bit it softly, pulling it gently into my mouth and then he responded, just like I wished he would. His hand reached up behind my head, pulling me closer to him. This kiss was even better than the one on the couch, I thought to myself as Edward suddenly pulled away and jumped off the bed.

"What the fuck Bella?" he screamed in frustration.

"I want to try. I want you." I bent my head, expecting rejection, before I continued. "Let's just try for the next ten days and if things don't work out, no one will have to know anything."

"Oh, so you determined that you want to try to be with me, for ten days. How romantic," stated Edward angrily as he sat down on the chair in the corner of the room. I got off the bed and moved closer to him. I was trying to keep my distance, but I felt this inexplicable need to be near him.

"I like you, like I really like you. I just want the chance to get to know you better. You make me happy and you seem to think I should do something to make me happy, and that is you. So, I want to try," I said again as he looked at me anxiously.

"Define try," he said with a small grin, as I glared at him because he knew bloody well what I meant.

"Umm… I want to get to know you more, in every possible way." I hoped that was clear enough, and smiled eagerly as he stood from the chair and pulled me into a hug.

"I want to try too, but I can't promise that I won't want more after ten days," he said with a sigh as he kissed my forehead. "Where's the dinner you promised me?"

"I didn't make it," I replied sadly as he lifted my chin up with one finger. "I wasn't even sure I would come up here and say anything. I'll cook tomorrow night," I said with a gentle smile as his stomach began to growl. "Shit, I should have cooked."

"Don't worry about it. It's only like seven, why don't we go into town and have dinner. Like a date?" he said with his signature smile. I nodded my head in agreement and stepped from the room, freaking out about what the hell I would wear to a date with Edward. I didn't even bring anything even remotely cute or sexy. Most of my clothes were pajamas and yoga clothes. Fuck, even my panties were practically granny panties. I reminded myself to head into town tomorrow to hit Target; they must have something lacy or cute to wear. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a simple blue sweater before I pulled my hair into a loose ponytail and practically ran down the stairs, where he was waiting with our coats in his hand.

"Where to?" I asked curiously as he locked the door behind us and led me towards his Volvo.

"I have no idea. Why don't we just see what they have in town? We might be stuck with Dairy Queen though?" he said with a small smile.

"That's fine. I could go for chicken fingers and a cookie dough blizzard right about now," I laughed as he reached over and turned up the heat. It was friggin freezing outside, and I hadn't thought about that when I had made my arrangements to come here. Why couldn't the Cullen's have had a cottage in Florida or somewhere a little warmer? We drove in relative silence into town and as we drove by, I looked wistfully at Target. Edward ended up stopping in front a small café, which was all decorated for Christmas. It looked like one of those places that were never busy, but the food was always excellent. I nodded my head in approval as Edward practically ran over to my side of the car to open the door for me. "How polite of you."

"Well, I probably have to make up for the past few days of being an utter jackass to you, so why not right?" I laughed quietly as I felt his hand on the small of my back, leading me into the restaurant. As I had expected, they weren't really busy. The hostess / waitress sat us down at a small table in the corner, close to the fireplace and Christmas tree. I looked over at them and it finally felt like the holidays to me, for a few minutes anyways. Sure we had decorated the cabin a bit, but it wasn't overly festive. I was used to going all out, especially when Alice lived with me.

I grabbed the menu from the table and began searching through it for something that appealed to me. I ended up deciding on a toasted club sandwich with french fries. I started singing along quietly to the Christmas music that filled the air as Edward kept staring at the menu. "They offer like ten different things, how is this so hard of a decision?" I asked sarcastically as the waitress arrived with our drinks and waited eagerly for our order. Edward ended up ordering a hamburger with curly fries and he looked at me curiously.

"What? I asked as the waitress turned from our table and walked away.

"You look really pretty tonight," he remarked genuinely as I found myself getting nervous and fidgeting with my hands. "Is it odd that this doesn't feel awkward to me at all?"

"No, it feels really easy to me too. Like we've been dating for months and we're on holiday together." I almost immediately regretted my words when they came from my mouth, but Edward just smiled brighter at me. It was exactly how I felt, but I think that was just because we had spent the past two days pouring our hearts out to each other about our lives. He knew more about my hopes and dreams than Alice did, and she's my best friend. I glanced back over at the Christmas tree again, but this time Edward caught me staring.

"So, you want a tree huh?"

"No, a tree in the cabin would be stupid. We're only there for nine days. Why bother with all the effort to put it up, only to have to take it back down again so quickly. I was just admiring their tree, it's really nice," I lied. It actually wasn't that nice. In fact it looked a little bit like a Charlie Brown kind of tree, complete with a ragged blue blanket wrapped around the bottom of it. The decorations were few and far between and I was certain there was only one string of lights on it. It was sad.

"Whatever Bella, that is one of the most pathetic trees I have ever seen. Haven't you ever seen one of my mother's Christmas trees? Those are nice. A little too extravagant, but nice none the less."

"Yeah, Alice and Esme do tend to go a little bit overboard during the holidays," I remarked with a chuckle as Edward smiled back at me happily.

"You'll have to see it this year."

EPOV

We were only five minutes into our date and I already wanted to bring Bella home for Christmas. Now I felt just as pathetic as the tiny Christmas tree beside the fireplace here. It was so small; they should be using it for kindling, not to hold eight glass balls and one string of lights.

"Um… can we just get through dinner before we discuss Christmas with our families?" she asked anxiously. I nodded my head in agreement and reached over the table to grab her hand in mind, hoping to be comforting to her instead of creepy. I took it as a positive sign that she didn't pull her hand away. We spent the next thirty minutes discussing our mutual love of music. She talked to me all about the last concert she went to, which was the Kings of Leon, with Alice and Jasper. Mine was Pearl Jam and it was unfortunately several years ago.

"Didn't Jacob ever take you to a concert?" I asked inquisitively. I was still curious about her relationship with Jacob, even though I knew he treated her like shit. I wanted to get all the details, not just as a friend but as a potential boyfriend, so I knew what not to do in the future.

"No. We'd go to bars where some bands or singers would perform, but we never once went to a concert like at an arena or concert hall. I always went to those with Alice. We've seen Death Cab for Cutie, Coldplay and Paramore in concert in the past year alone," she said easily as I suddenly felt the need to take her to concert, and then take her home and fuck her. Damn brain, always in the gutter.

"I'm glad you and Alice have each other," I replied sincerely as we started into a long conversation regarding my baby sister. We both had agreed that even though she always had the best intentions, she sometimes went about things the wrong way. As the conversation got easier, I glanced down at my watch, I noticed it was almost ten o'clock and we were the only people left in the café. I paid the bill, leaving a tip that was way too big for the service, and I grasped Bella's hand in mine, leading her back to my car. I can definitely do sweet and romantic, I thought to myself as I opened the car door open for her. She pressed play on the stereo, eager to hear what I had playing when I drove into town. She laughed heartily as the opening to 'Head like a Hole' by Nine Inch Nails filled the car.

"Pretty Hate Machine is an awesome album, don't look so ashamed," she started to say as she stared out the window towards the snow covered pine trees that surrounded us. "I was always partial to their Downward Spiral album myself." I laughed as we listened to the music in silence for the rest of the drive. When I pulled into the driveway, I suddenly became nervous. If this had been a real date, I would definitely go in for the kiss. I wasn't sure if I should do it now though. Bella unbuckled her seat belt and immediately reached for the door handle, but I locked the doors swiftly.

"Um… what are you doing?" she asked curiously as she fumbled to get out of the car.

"I had a good time tonight Bella," I admitted easily as she turned back to smile at me.

"Me too," she said quickly before I grabbed her head and pulled her towards me for a kiss. It was gentle and soft. There was no biting or licking, like the kiss she had given me in my bed earlier, but it was perfect for a first date. I pulled away and Bella's eyes were closed and she was smiling brightly. I unlocked the doors and her eyes shot open in surprise.

"Let's go in," I said smugly as I hopped out of the car and opened the door for her. I led her back into the house and thanked her again for the date. Suddenly, it felt awkward.

"I'm going to head to bed, I'm actually pretty tired," she said remorsefully as she squeezed my hand in hers and headed up the stairs to my old bedroom, which I suddenly wished I was sleeping in again.

I headed to the kitchen and fetched a beer, before throwing myself down on the couch, to recall the events of the day. I was restless. I couldn't sleep and I couldn't shut my brain off, so I did what any logical man would do. I headed to the storage room behind the kitchen to see if we had any additional Christmas decorations. Sure enough, there was three boxes of various ornaments left over from when we had tried to have a Cullen family Christmas here when I was seventeen.

I bundled up in my coat and grabbed an axe from the garage. I think even I was shocked that I was dragging my ass out into the cold night to chop down a pine tree, but I didn't care. It was almost three in the morning when I finally finished and sat down on the couch to admire my work because the Christmas tree was lit up and decorated. I was shocked that Bella hadn't heard me at all because it took a lot of effort to drag that thing into the house and set it up. When I had finished, it actually didn't look too bad. It certainly wasn't as fancy as anything my mother would do, but it was a vast improvement over the tree in the restaurant. I didn't even get a chance to drag my tired ass up to bed, opting instead to pass out on the couch.

'You have tinsel in your hair' I heard quietly as I rubbed my eyes and felt a hand running though my hair. Bella's hand.

"At least it's not all over the house, although I do need to vacuum all the pine needles that lead from the back deck," I said in frustration as I sat up on the couch and looked over at her. She was sitting on the floor beside the couch and looked disappointed that I had moved and she could no longer play with my hair.

"I'll vacuum. It's a small price to pay for such a beautiful tree," she said with as smile as she glanced quickly over her shoulder to the tree. So it hadn't been a dream. I had actually chopped down a tree and decorated it for her. I don't think I had ever done such grand gesture for anyone before.

"I hope you're not mad. I couldn't sleep last night and after seeing you look at that sad little tree at the restaurant, I thought you might like one of our own," I said genuinely as her hand moved up and started to rub my thigh gently.

"It's perfect."

"Phew, I'm glad you like it," I said with a laugh as I wiped my brow in mock relief.

"I don't like it Edward, I love it," said Bella as she got off from the floor and sat beside me on the couch, still rubbing my thigh gently with her hand. I desperately wanted to kiss her. My head had been filled with thoughts of our previous kisses all night, which only helped me to finish the tree faster. As I turned towards Bella, to look her in the eye, I could see the same emotion in her face that I knew was on mine. Desire. I leaned forward and cupped her face in my hands before pulling her closer to me. I kissed her lips tenderly, and then a bit more forceful when she clearly didn't resist. Our mouths opened and our tongues reached out at almost the exact same time, and I found myself moving forward against her, pushing her back against the couch, with my body hovering above her, our lips never parting.

Suddenly I felt her push back against my chest gently to stop everything. "I'm sorry," she said in frustration as she fidgeted with her hands again. "I really need to go to Target."

"Um… okay," I replied with a grin as she started to look even more nervous. "I'll go with you. Let's just have some breakfast and get cleaned up and then we can go." Bella suddenly looked mortified.

"No, I think I can handle it myself, if you don't mind? But breakfast and a shower do sound good."

I didn't push the fact that she didn't want me to go to the store with her. She probably had to get something embarrassing and didn't want me to see because we were still in the early stages of whatever the hell we were doing. I just smiled at her and reassured her that I didn't mind if she went alone. We each had a quick bowl of cereal and headed upstairs to have our showers. When Bella was finally ready to leave for the store, I gave her a quick kiss at the door and advised her to be safe on the snow covered roads. The moment she was gone from the driveway, I grabbed my coat and decided that now was the perfect time to head into town to try and find her a Christmas gift.