To celebrate the season, I'll be posting extra chapters today. But there will be a hiatus, time off for good behaviour, for a few days. This story will return very shortly.

Not mine.

Chapter 19

Carlisle and Esme were in and out of contact for weeks. The search for Edward was not going well.

During all the tumult, Bella raised the girls, keep the farm house and ignored her birthday. She told Angela the story of the late Mrs. Cullen, not to gossip, but to explain the behaviour of the Cullens. Rosalie was also informed and a complete emptying of any sweets in the house was performed.

Bella hoped the house was now cleared of all Mr. Cullen's demons. She only hoped that he would return a changed man and ready to live his real life again. Who knows what effects the years of insobriety had on the poor soul.

Bella received periodic visits from Em, who told her of how Edward was able to overcome him and escape the cabin. Upon seeing the faint mark on her cheek he was beside himself for letting Edward get the best of him. Bella was touched by the concern of the gentle man but was quick to assuage him of any guilt.

It came time for Angela to leave and travel to her sister. Trunks were packed and readied for the journey. Many tears were shed by the newfound friends with promises to write and keep well. Angela was waved onto the ship by all that had cared for her in the past few months.

Bella settled into a routine with her charges, travelling weekly for supplies with Rosalie and her brother. She found she wanted for nothing and was bursting with happiness. The only dark spots in her life were the ones connected to the search for Edward Cullen.

Surprisingly enough it was Edward himself that ended the search, not by being found but by writing a very long missive to Bella herself.

'Dear Miss Swan,

I cannot apologize enough for how you were treated upon our only meeting. There are no words to express the depths of my sorrow. There are no words strong enough that I can give that would forgive the temerity, the horrendous and the callous way in which I treated you.

I have never in my life struck another person, let alone a woman who was only protecting children, my children.

If I could fall upon my knees and beg your forgiveness I would in a heartbeat. However, the best I can give you at this point is to say you will never have to see me again if you do not want to.

I have taken a position as a ship's doctor, a position that will keep you safely away from any further harm that I may cause. The contract I have signed will keep me away for some time.

During this time I can only hope to return to myself and be worthy of my children. I pray you will keep watch over them until such time as I am ready and deemed no longer hazardous to those around me.

I know I do not have the right to ask this of you. You protected them from me once and I ask you to protect them for me now.

They need someone to teach them the strength of character I saw from you that night. When I ran from the house and realized that I had released the monster that was raging inside of me for the better of two years, I recognized that you were like St. Michael slaying the demon.

Please, Miss Swan keep them safe, raise them to be happy, strong girls.

I will send word when I am returning and I will leave the decision to you as to whether you wish to stay in my employ if I am to be in residence. If you would wish not to be in my company I will make arrangements.

Thank you, Miss Swan, for too many things to mention.

Forever in your debt,

Your servant,

Edward A. Cullen

Bella did not know what to make of this letter. There was no question that she would stay with the girls for she loved Katie and Beth with everything in her, but would she be able to stay in the home if Mr. Cullen was there?

She had seen all manner of odd behaviour from him, all that could be accounted for by the medicines forced upon him.

She did not know the man aside from the medication. What sort of man would he be when he returned? How would he act once he learned of the treachery of his wife? What kind of father would he be to the girls?

He had left them time and again, left them in good care, but left them, none the less. Could she trust that he would not leave them again?

These were the questions that interrupted her sleep, the fears that kept her awake at night.

She had no fear for her own safety for she was certain he would not strike her again, but she did fear for the tender hearts of the girls.

AN: Thank you for reading.