Ch 3.

"Slowly he moved closer, his arms gently wrapping around my waist, his eyes never leaving my own. In this moment in time all thoughts of my future and past escaped me, all that existed was in this moment, all which mattered in life lay hidden in the dark brown depths of his gaze.

'Do you love me?' He whispered, his warm breath tickling my ear and sending new sensations down my spine.

I was not meant for him, and he was not what was destined for me, but the soothing sound of his voice seemed to melt away all differences.

'Yes' I replied, knowing that this simple word would doom me."

Gently I closed the faded pages and sighed. Usually novels were my means of escape, I would let myself get lost with fictional characters in imaginary worlds, absorbed with their problems and forgetting my own. Not tonight though. No, not even Aleena and Ian's tale of impossible romance could distract me from the days events.

I returned my favorite book back to its place and sat in my blankets with my chin resting on my knees feeling hopeless. Once more my eyes felt as if they were about to water but the tears wouldn't come. Like the rest of me, my eyes were empty. I hugged my bed sheets closer and stared blankly out into the darkness.

I had sat in that tree for hours, absentmindedly watching the sparrows that perched not far from my branch, in no hurry to meet what undoubtedly waited for me at home. When the sun sank below the mountains in the distance and the air took on a new chill, I slowly eased myself down from my roost, trudging back to my little cottage while unsuccessfully trying to wipe the evidence of my tears away with the back of my sleeve. Nearing home I could see Papa waiting out in the front yard. His face was stern and resigned, all traces of this evenings delight gone from his features.

I kept my eyes focused on the ground rather than chance meeting his, pretending to be deeply interested in the whereabouts of my feet. Watching them sluggishly move through the tall grass, on to the stone path, and right on into the dusty floors, passing a pair of worn brown boots and not even bothering to look up at the owner. I was terrified to face him. Although it was childish of me, I wanted to prolong the time before that moment for as long as possible. Once safely through the threshold I quickly found my way into the refuge of my mothers arms, burying my face in the warmth of her shoulder.

Father came into the room walking slowly, taking each step as if it bothered him. Not a good sign for me. He took a seat near the table in on of our makeshift chairs, cradling his head in his hands and staring at the table as if the patterns of worn wood grains might hold his answers.

"Why…Rosaline…" He seemed at a loss for words.

After a moment of uneasy silence he stood up and faced me. "You're going to write him a letter, a full apology for your behavior today and an acceptance of his offer."

I had begged and pleaded, but the man wouldn't budge. He stood silently behind me watching carefully over my shoulder as I composed his message.

I was stunned. How could he have done this to me? Why couldn't my life be like the novels I so loved?

As a child I never had many friends, not sure why. On occasion I would try joining in with others near my age but it seems as if I would forever remain the awkward outcast. It used to trouble me but it hadn't done so in years. As my mother would always say, "Some are meant for social and some are meant for solitude, but to each their own delight."

I did have one close friend though. Well, that is if you could count a fifty some year old neighbor who merely tolerated my presence as a friend.

Gregor owned the land next to ours and lived there by himself for as long as I can remember. He was an odd old man and could be a complete grouch at times, but he had a room that was entirely filled with stacks and stacks of tattered and faded books. He had made the mistake of teaching me how to read and he hasn't been able to keep me off his property since I sounded out my first sentence. He let me borrow any book I wanted as long as I returned it undamaged.

His collection was comparable to nothing else. I knew of a few other people around town who had one or two books lying around there place, Jonathan had a full bookshelf, but no one else had anything like Gregor's teetering stacks. He had books on plant life and animals, on illnesses and remedies, common tales I've heard before and new stories in lavish scripts and piles stacked to the ceiling of novels in strange languages. After chores were done I would run to his house and spend hours lost in the dusty pages.

Occasionally on my visits he would fix a strange tea that tasted like heaven and his eyes would light up as he told me wild make believe tales of a far off land. Stories of a place beyond the mountains with ageless people who battled darkness and evil, standing for all things pure in life. I used to spend my nights dreaming about such a place. There I would fight bravely against the corrupt, find my true love, and all would be perfect. I remember telling Gregor of those dreams and how he would smile kindly telling me that the future held endless possibilities. He would say that he never doubted something special would come of my life, adding in the wink of an old wrinkly eye, and how badly I wanted those words to be true…but that was ages ago.

As badly as I wanted it to be I had realized long ago that my life was not a fairy tale, but that didn't mean I was going to accept my unhappy fate without a fight.

I had mulled it over in my head for a while now. I would not marry Jonathan. I would not be stared at and showcased, bound to his manor like a slave. I would not be added to his collection of prized possessions, another symbol of his wealth and power. I may never have a happily ever after but I sure wasn't going to forfeit my chances this early in life. No, instead I was going to do something rash and incredibly foolish. I was going to do something that I knew I would most likely regret sooner or later but at the moment I didn't care. In my mind the decision was already made. I was going to run away.