Chapter 46

They sat locked together for a long time then he got to his feet, pushing her away. Without saying a word he strode past Rick and Maggie, ignoring them as they tried to offer comfort. He mounted his bike and roared off without looking back.

"He's gonna need a lot of time" Rick rubbed at his eyes, as he looked towards the forest.

"We have to go get her, can't just leave her there. We need to take her back" The women agreed. Michonne went back into the mall and found some sheets in one of the shops. They pulled the truck onto the road.

"I'll do it" Rick stated "You don't need to see her" he told a shaking Maggie. She nodded her thanks and sat in the truck, eyes facing forward. Rick took a deep breath and went into the trees. It nearly broke him when he found her slumped against the tree, Daryl's gun still in her hand. He laid out one of the sheets then reached for her, arms falling back by his sides as he couldn't do it.

"I'll help" a soft voice spoke close to him. Michonne was there ready to help. Between them they gently lowered her body onto the sheet, wrapping it carefully. They carried her onto the road and laid her in the bed of the pick-up. Silently they started the drive home.

It was a long, painful journey, no one spoke and it seemed to take forever but finally the gate came into view. It was opened by one of the newcomers and they drove through without saying a word.

Glenn ran up to greet Maggie, the smile falling from his face when he saw her tear stained expression. His eyes fell on the shape in the back of the truck.

"Who?" he managed,

"Eleanor" Rick couldn't say anymore.

Others started to gather, the news was spreading quickly.

"Where's Daryl?" Carol asked between sobs

Rick froze "He's not back yet?" He exchanged looks with Michonne "He took off on his bike a while before us. Thought he'd be back long ago"

"He probably needs his own space, needs some time alone" Beth tried to reassure everyone, even though she wasn't even convincing herself.

He hadn't come back by the next day, or the day after that and they had no choice but to hold a funeral for Eleanor. It was a sombre occasion, with a lot of tears. Rosita said it was the only time she ever seen Abraham shed a tear.

Over a week had passed and Daryl still hadn't returned. They didn't know how to deal with it, they could only hope he was still alive and would come back to them when he was ready.

It was now the middle of summer, the heat was almost unbearable and Carol was hot and tired as she struggled with the laundry. There was so much to do now and even with several helpers it seemed to take forever. She was hanging wet clothes out to dry when she heard the familiar roar of a motorbike. She ran for the gate, finding Rick and Carl already opening it, letting the noisy bike through. Daryl parked the bike and dismounted, thrusting a bag towards her.

"Got some squirrels and rabbits" he muttered as she took it from him.

"Thank you" she reached a hand out but he shrugged it off, turning away from her abruptly. He looked terrible, he'd lost weight and his filthy clothes hung off him. His face was gaunt, huge shadows under his red rimmed eyes. She tried to catch his eye but he kept his face adverted, not looking at any of them. When she did catch a glimpse of his eyes her heart broke for him. The usual piercing blue was dull and lifeless.

Rick stepped forward.

"Welcome back Daryl" he said softly "looks like you could do with getting cleaned up, a change of clothes and a good meal inside you"

Daryl stared at him coldly.

"Leave me be, don't need your pity" he glared around seeing several people staring.

"What you all gawping at?" He snapped "Aint you got nothing better to do?" He stumbled sideways, half-starved and exhausted, regretting coming back, but knowing he'd had no choice. He wouldn't have lasted much longer out there on his own.

He faced Rick again.

"She here?" He asked simply

Rick nodded "Out the back with the others"

Daryl hesitated, then headed out toward the area they were using as a graveyard. There were only three markers there, one a child that caught a fever they couldn't cure, another an old lady that passed in the night, peacefully in her sleep. The newest was Ellie's. He saw there were flowers on it, pretty wild flowers he knew she would like. He stood silently looking at the simple marker with her name carved carefully on it.

"What'd you want?" he snapped, without turning "come to check up on me?"

"Made a promise" Michonne stood next to him, close but not touching "And I always keep my promises"

"Why'd she do it?" he asked "Why'd she die to save me? Nobody'd care if I died, everybody cared 'bout her"

"Cos she loved you" Michonne stated simply.

Abruptly Daryl turned away from the grave and strode off. He wasn't sure where he was heading and slowed, wandering aimlessly. He knew he needed a change of clothes but couldn't make himself go to what was their room.

Finally he forced himself to enter their room. Her clothes were still scattered on the bed and her jacket was hanging from its hook. The book she had been reading was still on the table at the side of the bed, open at the page she was on. He picked up the photograph of her and her family and stared at it, before throwing it against the wall in a fit of anger.

He snatched up a change of clothes and left the room. Once he'd cleaned up and changed he headed for the kitchen area. Carol was there, as usual, and she gave him a small, gentle smile.

"Eat this" she handed him a plate, with some rabbit meat and vegetables on it. He took it from her with a small grunt of thanks. He sat at a table and half-heartedly picked at the food. Rick came and sat next to him, not saying a word.

Daryl gave him a sideways glance, not meeting his eyes.

"Thanks for bringing her back, for taking care of her" he mumbled. Rick patted his shoulder.

"Had to, couldn't leave her out there. She needed to come home" he told him as he rose to leave.

"Glad you're home as well. We all worried about you, not knowing if you was still alive." Rick gave his friend a reassuring look.

"I know what you're going through, went there with Lori. Come find me if you need to talk. Don't just shut yourself away"

Daryl gave him a brief nod.

"Gonna go out again in the morning. Try some more hunting. Might be out a few days" he told Rick. The Deputy studied him for a second.

"If that's what you need to do, that's fine. Just make sure you come back safe" he told him.