Santana places her plate in the kitchen sink, and leans with her back against the wall.
She lets out a deep breath and thinks about what she should do right now. She walks over to the window and places her hands on the windowsill. She leans forward and leans with her face against the cold glass.
It's kind of an awkward pose, but it always helps her think.
The sun is going down, causing the sky to colour a deep shade of pink.
Santana looks up as she feels two arms around her waist. Brittany rests her chin on her shoulder and sighs.
''I'm sorry, San. I cut you off too soon. I promise you I'll consider it. And now that I have thought about it, we had Wanky like, two and a half years ago .. We both have grown in the meantime so ..'' she pecks Santana on the cheek and sees her smile in the reflection of the glass. ''By the way .. There's no one else I would rather raise my children with'' she says quietly, and now Santana turns around.
''Really?''
"Really."
Santana smiles. "I'm sorry too.. I shouldn't have ran out so fast. And I know I would probably be a terrible mother b-"
"-Oh no, Santana don't say that! I bet you would be a great mom ..''
Santana laughs ''Britt ...I would show my kids what porn is. I would fucking do that and you know it.'' she laughs out and Brittany chuckles.
''Yeeah .. You probably would'' she smiles. ''But that's why I'm here, to keep you from doing stupid things..''
''And I am here to tell you you are not doing stupid things ..'' Santana smiles.
No matter how many fights they have, marrying Brittany was definitely the best decision she has ever made in her entire life.
Even though it took her a second time to actually go through with, she hasn't regret it one time since then.
When she thinks about her actions and words in the past .. She could just slap herself in the face.
Actually, she has literally done that before.
Brittany has always been so good to her, and they just have to find a way to hold that good feeling and keep it locked inside, so it can never slip away again.
''Britt ..?''
''Hmhm?'' the blonde smiles at her wife and takes her hand.
''Will you let me sleep in the bed again tonight?''
The smile on Brittany's face is so adorable that Santana nearly melts. There are these things she can do to her.
''Ofcourse.. If you really want to sleep ..'' she winks and a grin spreads across Santana's face.
She pretends to look at her watch, even though she's not wearing one, and looks surprised. ''Oh, Britt! Look ..It's already soo laaate ...'' she chuckles ''We should reeally go to bed..''
Santana rolls off of Brittany panting. The one good thing about not having ladysex that often anymore - make-up-sex doesn't count - is that you forget how good it is.
During that dark, depressing time that they were broken up, Santana has probably slept with the entire lesbian, bisexual and experimenting population of Louisville and New York, but sex with Brittany was just .. Mindblowing. Moancausing. Screamworthy.
It's this kind of sex you have to make up words for, because otherwise you can't even describe it.
Brittany lays beside Santana and rolls over on her side. She lays one arm over her wife's belly and looks at her.
''Are you ready to talk yet?''
Santana shakes her head. Brittany had this adorable habit of wanting to cuddle and talk until she falls asleep in her lover's arms, but meanwhile she has already figured out that Santana always needs a few minutes to, well .. Catch her breath.
Having a relationship with a professional dancer can be exhausting sometimes, but it was sure as hell worth it.
''Okay'' Santana whispers ''I'm ready.''
Brittany giggles at her.
She does this every. fucking. time.
Santana knows she just thinks that Santana's being cute but, she still doesn't understand how Brittany can go from a hot, sexy, kissing, licking, breathtaking woman, to just ... Brittany ..
Still, she smiles at her ''What do you want to talk about this time?''
Conversations with Brittany never get boring. She always brings up the most random, awkward of hilarious topics, which mostly just end up in them falling off the bed laughing at each other.
''Nothing weird .. I wanted to tell you something actually. I have thought about the baby thing some more, and -"
"- Britt, you told me you thought about that in the kitchen, and then we jumped into bed ... Oh my god were you thinking about babies during sex?''
Brittany's cheeks flush a bit and she looks down ''No ...''
Santana can't help but to smile at this adorable woman next to her. And it doesn't bother her at all though, honestly, she has thought about making ladybabies with her so many times ..
''It's okay, Britt,'' Santana chuckles ''Just continue ..''
''Well, I have thought about it. And I really think that if it's a boy we should call him Lord Tubbington.''
Santana bursts out laughing ''No way, Brittany! I'm sorry but .. No'' she laughs and Brittany pouts at her with a sad look in her eyes.
''Oh c'mon sweetie ... Lord Tubbington is the cutest name ever for a cat .. But for a babyboy?''
''Myeah ...'' Brittany mumbles sadly, and Santana smiles at her.
''Come here so I can kiss your adorable pout away'' she says, and Brittany turns to face her.
Santana softly kisses Brittany's lips, again, and again .. She presses a kiss on her cheek, her nose, her hair, her eyelids .. But it's only when she gets to her neck that she starts to giggle again. Santana laughs with her.
A normal couple would go all the way at such a moment, teasing eachother with kisses everywhere. And it's not that Santana wouldn't want that, but she wouldn't trade anything or anyone for this woman and her giggly sessions.
Santana throws a pillow on the ground and it bounces over to Brittany.
''WHY CAN'T YOU EVER JUST ACT A LITTLE BIT NORMAL?!'' She screams trough the livingroom. ''You always have to be special, you always need to be in the spotlight and God! I am getting so fucking tired of it! Why can't you just try to understand me for one time?! For one time in your life!''
She feels tears coming through, she should really stop screaming right now, or she's going to start crying.
Brittany is sitting on the floor, with her back against the wall.
They had been screaming and yelling at eachother for quite some time, before Brittany suddenly sat down and broke down in tears.
Santana's natural instinct would say that she had to just sit down next to her wife, hole her, and tell her everything will be okay.
That they will be okay.
But she's not so sure about that herself ..
The blonde can just drive her so crazy. She has this sweet side, but sometimes she's just exaggerating .. Then she suddenly acts like a four year old girl who cries because she didn't get a pony for Christmas. - This has probably really happened in Brittany's past -.
But Santana is done screaming now. Her throat hurts, and she can barely even remember what they were fighting about again.
She sighs deeply and looks at the curled up ball that is her wife. She's still sitting on the ground, hiding her face in her arms with her knees pulled up against her chest.
She's shaking.
Santana knows the blonde is crying, and that if she would look up now, her eyes would be all puffy and red, and her cheeks would be a light shade of pink. She would wipe away the tears with a sleeve of her sweater and then blink one time. Two times. Then she would look up at Santana and whisper that she's sorry.
But she doesn't do that this time.
Santana doesn't move either, she just stands there, in the middle of the livingroom.
And suddenly, she feels alone.
Not just alone, by herself.
But alone in the world.
Brittany was always the one on her side, she stood up for her, had her back. Just as Santana did for her.
But now they are turning on eachother, with no one else to go to ..
Santana raises her chin, swallows her pride, and walks up to Brittany. She taps her on her shoulder.
- She's not a master in apologizing -
Santana clears her troath ''Brittany?''
''No ..'' the girl murmurs.
Okay .. Santana thinks, just .. be nice, Santana.
She softly sighs and sits down next to her wife.
''I'm sorry.'' She says.
''I'm sorry, Britt. I really .. really am .. I shouldn't have yelled at you, I know that makes you sad ..''
The girl doesn't look up. ''You wanted to make me sad.'' She states, and Santana tries really hard to think about her words right now.
''Yeah, I did, and I'm sorry. You made me angry, and you know I can't control my temper, Brittany ..''
''Yeah .. I know ..''
Okay, this wasn't going too bad ..
''Okay .. But honestly Britt... I don't even remember what we were fighting about ..'' Santana says quietly, and she hears Brittany let out a small chuckle.
''Me neither ..'' the girl says, and she finally looks up.
As expected, her eyes are red and puffy, her cheeks are slightly pink, her little nose is a bit wet from the tears.
But even though Santana already knows how Brittany looks when she's been crying, it still breaks her heart everytime to see her like this.
She sighs in relief and hints a sad smile at her.
''Come here that I give you a hug ..'' Santana says, and Brittany shifts a little closer and lets Santana wrap her arms around her.
''San..?''
''Myeah baby?''
''Do you believe we can fix this?''
Santana bites her lip and then looks over at the blonde angel in her arms.
''I think we can do anything.''
''Really?'' The girls asks carefully.
''Really ..'' She smiles as she feels Brittany relax into her embrace.
It's like they perfectly melt together.
''And Britty?''
''Myeah ..?''
''... I love you ..''
Brittany smiles and looks her wife in the eye. ''I love you too ..''
''So ... You really want to do this?'' Santana asks carefully, yet hopefully, and she looks at the pamphlet in Brittany's hands.
The blonde shrugs ''Well yeah, if you still want to, ofcourse ..''
''Yeah, yeah ofcourse I do ..''
That didn't sound very convincing ..
Part of the reason for that was just that it scares the hell out of Santana, thinking she should take care of a tiny human being.
And the fact that Brittany would want to carry it, just made it ten times worse ..
Well, you would think it's better for Santana because she wouldn't have pain and throwing a all that crap, no ..
But she would be the one cleaning up the puke, and living with a hormonal bitch for 9 months.
Okay no, she's pretty sure Brittany wouldn't turn into some mama monster, but anyway ..
She would have the two people she loves the most, together in one body and that's what she's afraid of.
What if something would happen to them?
Brittany flips the pamphlet between her fingers and eventually opens it again. ''I got this from the pharmacie, they said to come ask if we had any questions.. I thought I'd write down the adress of the pharmacie, because obviously you have a lot of questions ..''
Santana frowns ''Don't you?''
''Well yeah, ofcourse I do .. I don't want to end up with a criminal in my belly, y'know what I mean?''
Santana chuckles and nods, even though Brittany is just imagining weird things again.
''So, I want some information .. But I would just go to a pharmacie to ask for it, you would search the entire internet so you wouldn't have to let someone real help you.''
Santana internally curses.
Damn her.
Why does she know me so well.
''Okay fine ..'' Santana sighs. ''We can go to that pharmacie guy tomorrow.''
Brittany frowns. ''It's not a guy, San. She's a woman.''
A pharmacie woman?
Oh god no ..
Thoughts?