Brittany walks into the pharmacy, dragging her wife behind her. She had been a brat the whole ride there and is still whing how she doesn't want to go.
"San. You were the one who proposed all this, remember?"
Santana frowns and looks down. She grumbls a response, but Brittany acts like she didn't hear it.
"Hello!"
She greets the pharmacy lady with a smile, and pushes Santana forward. "This is my wife, Santana. She's being a bit childish right now, so you don't have to pay much attention to her."
She softly smacks Santana's arm "Babe. Say hi."
Santana sighs and eventually looks up at the woman behind the counter. She hints an awkward smile as the lady clearly recognises her.
"Well, well. Santana Lopez. As if that hasn't been a while."
Brittany frowns "You .. Do you know each other?"
Santana opens her mouth to explain, but the lady doesn't give her a chance. "She dated my daughter for a while, broke her heart .. But well, you're still good friends, right? What a shame she isn't here today."
Santana hums a bit, receiving a weird look from Brittany.
"You're still friends with this girl? Do I know her?"
Santana raises an eyebrow at her and the blonde shrugs. "Pure curiosity .."
Santana sighs "No, you don't really know her .. Maybe from a party or something but .. No"
"Wait. Is it that Dani girl? That you were calling a couple of days ago and who won't stop texting you?"
"I recall that your relationship with my daughter was ought to be a secret affaire .. Wasn't it, Santana?"
"Mrs. Monroe, I really don't think ..-"
"-You had an affaire?" Brittany interrupts her.
Santana quickly shakes her head. "Babe, no. No I didn't have an affair with her, you-"
"-Not with her?! So with someone else, or what?"
"No! Brittany, let me finish!"
The blonde gulps and looks at her wife. "Okay. Explain."
Santana frowns "I .. I didn't have an affair with her, I .. Or with anyone else! It was just .."
"An energy exchange?" Brittany huffs.
"Yes! .. No! I don't know, Britt! But we weren't even together when it happened I just .."
"We weren't together?"
"I .. No, I don't think so. I mean, of course not."
"Hmm" the lady behind the counter hums "It always seemed quite sneaky to me"
"Will you shut up for a second?!" Santana snaps. The woman holds her hands up and turns around.
When Santana turns to face her wife, the blonde is gone.
"Brittany! Brittany wait! Don't leave, please! Britt!"
The blonde turns around, her eyes filled with tears. "How could you do this to me?"
Santana approaches her, slowly, carefully.
"Brittany, listen to me, please .."
"Why should I?" The blonde cries. "You did the one thing we promised never to do!"
"Brittany .." Santana croaks. Her troath is dry and her voice sounds raspy and unsure. "Brittany, I swear to God I didn't cheat on you. You have to believe me"
The blonde bites her lip until she tastes the blood on her tongue. "Oh how I want to believe you .." She whispers out. "But I don't. I can't keep believing you anymore, Santana" she licks a tear of her lips and gulps. "There are too many lies, and secrets and .. And it just hurts too much .."
With those words, the blonde turns around again. Santana runs after her and grabs her arm, stopping her from leaving.
"I know. I know that I am a terrible person and that I hurt you and that I'm not treating you the way you deserve to be treated. And I know I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I didn't betray you, Brittany. That's a promise I will never break. Never."
Brittany looks her in the eyes and the woman can feel her heart break in her chest. She looks so unhappy, and betrayed, and sad. And the worst part is that Santana can't do anything about it.
She knows that Brittany would just push her away right now. And she has the damn right to do so. Santana knows that she has to make a change, because the only thing that she ever wanted in this life is for this beautiful, silly little blonde to be happy.
Then why doesn't she do anything about it?
Brittany gulps, swallows her tears and raises her head. "You" she takes a breath. "You are not a terrible person. You're just full of empty promises."
She blinks and looks down, before continuing to talk "I have always believed in you, Santana. Always. I thought that .. That with the right amount of love and care and kisses that you would be fine, you know .. That we would be okay. But we're not. And it's time that we start accepting that."
"Brittany .." Santana whispers.
The blonde's tears have dried, the look in her eyes is stronger, making Santana weak. Brittany looks so determent. So confident. So .. Sure.
"I'm not saying I want a divorce"
Her voice cracks at the last words and she blinks a couple of times. "I'm just .. Maybe what we need is some space"
"Space?"
Santana gets a lump in her troat and she feels tears coming up, but she won't try to hold them back. "Brittany .. We don't need space .. I can't be away from you I .. I need you in my life, I can't do this without you .."
As Santana's eyes start to water, Brittany gulps, trying to hold back the intense feeling of sadness, and the sudden need to pull her wife close to her and hold her in her arms and pepper her with kisses until she falls asleep.
"Santana," she manages to get out "Don't you see? You can't do this with me either .. I have tried to get you back on your feet .. I have tried so, so hard .. Maybe I'm just not the one for you, maybe you need someone else .."
She looks down, not wanting to look Santana in her eyes when she says these words out loud. "Maybe you were meant to be with that Dani girl .."
"No" Santana protests. Her cheeks are wet, her eyes puffy. She wipes away a tear. "You can't say that. It's not true. I belong with you. You, and nobody else. Dani, she was just a fling. A crush, a nothing. You are everything to me. If there is anyone, anybody in this world that can possibly handle me and my loads of bagage and fucked up mind, it's you. Only you."
"But you see, that is the problem .." Brittany says quietly. "I can't handle it anymore."
Santana watches the love of her life walk away from her, and this time her heart shatters into pieces. Thousands and thousands and thousands. And still, she loves Brittany with every broken piece of her heart.
She rushes home, hoping she might be there. But the door is locked, and the lights are out. The house is quiet, too quiet. Her footsteps make the wooden floor squeak beneath her feet, the radiator softly makes the sound of a driving train.
She sits down on the sofa, a pillow in her arms, and she thinks. She thinks about everything that went wrong, and everything that was good. She thinks about every little thing that she loves about Brittany, and how she should appreciate her wife more. She should appreciate how she looks in the morning, when she just woke up in her arms, with sleepy eyes and messed up hair. She should appreciate her cute little giggles, but also her never ending laugh. Her beautiful eyes, Santana's favourite shade of blue. Her full, pink lips, that are so soft she melts into them every time they touch hers.
She should appreciate her more, now that she still can.
But at this very moment, she knows Brittany doesn't want to see her. Or talk to her, or be with her. She needs a moment to cool down and think.
She knows her just like that.
The brunette walks over to her desk and rips a paper out of her notebook. She bites her lip, nibbles on the pencil in her hand, twirls a lock of hair around her finger, and eventually writes down some words. She sends her best friend a text that she's coming over, and she throws some stuff in a bag.
Enough to leave, too little to stay away.
She knows Brittany will come home soon, she disappears before that. She hopes they won't meet on the sidewalk, but on the other hand she hopes to see her one more time before she goes. She will come back. She isn't leaving. She isn't running from her problems, like Brittany always tells her that's what she does. She's just giving her wife some space, because that is what she wished for.
You say the dream, and I help to build the dream. That's what a partnership is all about, right?
Santana hears Brittany's word echoing through her mind.
Her crazy, fucked up mind.
By the time she gets to Quinn's house, she guesses Brittany must have arrived at their house too. It would take her a minute or two before she realises that she's alone. Seven minutes to notice Santana's toothbrush is gone but her hairbrush isn't, and eleven minutes to find the note on her bedroom door.
Brittany.
i don't know if i can yell any louder. how many times have i kicked you out of here? or said something insulting? i can be so mean when i want to be, i am capable of really anything. i can cut you into pieces when my heart is broken.
please don't leave me. i always say that i don't need you. but it's always going to come right back to this. i forgot to say out loud how beautiful you really are to me.
but baby i don't mean it. i mean it, i promise.
i love you, please don't leave.
Brittany fumbles the paper in her hand and then flattens the wrinkles again. She takes it downstairs and lays it down on the table, before sitting on a chair and starting to stare at it.
She knows these are not Santana's words, she knows they are from a song, but she understands. Perhaps she even believes her wife when she says she didn't cheat on her, maybe she should just try. But she always tries so hard. Maybe their relationship is just too far gone, not able to be saved anymore. But what if it is? What if they do just need time, and a bit of space? What if that is all it takes to bring back their love, to save their marriage?
Because Brittany still loves her wife, very much. There isn't one person on this earth that could possibly replace her. And she doesn't want to let go.
But sometimes holding on is just too hard.
She folds up the paper and places it in a drawer in their bedroom. As she takes off her clothes and crawls into bed, she wonders where Santana might be.
Santana sips from her wine and raises her eyebrows at Quinn, as the blonde is watching her curiously.
"What?" She mumbles.
"Are you going to tell me what's going on?"
Santana shrugs "Wasn't planning on it."
Quinn sighs and take Santana's glass out of her hands. She puts it down on the table. The glass forms a little red circle when a drip of red wine slides down.
"Hey .. That's mine"
"Technically, it's mine. Now tell me why you're here. Did Britt kick you out or something?"
Santana grumbls a bit, before picking up her glass again, receiving an eye roll from Quinn. She takes a big gulp and looks up.
"Brittany and I had a fight."
Quinn scoffs "No shit"
"No, I mean like .. A serious fight. She wants to keep space or .. Whatever"
Now the blonde frowns at her surprised "Does she want a divorce?"
"No .. No, she said she didn't want that but just .. Well yeah, space. So I came here."
"Okay" Quinn nods, while standing up and picking up the now empty glasses of wine. "You're welcome to stay here, on the one condition that you tell me everything."
Santana rolls her eyes and sighs "Fine."
Thoughts?