"Santana."

"Hmm .."

Quinn hands her a cup of coffee and sits down. "Tell me what's going on .. You're usually never this down when you two fighted."

Santana sighs and fills her bowl with Honey Pops. She stares at it for a second, then looks up. "I just .. Don't want to talk about it."

"You look tired"

"Yeah .. I didn't sleep"

A worried frown appears on Quinn's face, and she takes Santana's hand. She softly caresses the palm of Santana's hand with her thumb and looks at her.

"What happened .."

Santana gulps. "Brittany-" she croaks. She clears her troat and bites her lip, "she doesn't trust me anymore. She doesn't believe in us anymore .. She just .. Stopped"

Quinn furrows her eyebrows a bit confused "Does she has reason to?"

Santana sighs "I guess"

Brittany sits up in bed, leaning against the headboard. She lets out a deep sigh and takes in the view of her empty bedroom. Santana didn't come home last night.

Brittany knows she's at Quinn's, part because she always goes there when she's in trouble, but also because Quinn texted her last night. Brittany reaches for her phone and unlocks it.

Still no message from her.

She scrolls through her texts and opens Quinn's again.

Quinnie : San is here, has been sobbing for hours. What happened?

Brittany sighs. She had answered that Quinn had to ask Santana if she wanted to know, and she still hasn't got a reply.

No Quinn.

No Santana.

Just her.

Brittany, alone, in an empty, cold bed. She lies down on her side and texts her co-choreographer that she won't be in today. He calls her within five minutes, but she declines the call and turns off her phone, before turning and burying her face in her wife's pillow.

Santana absent mindedly plays with the hem of her shirt, staring out of the window. Suddenly she looks up.

"Why are you still single?" She asks Quinn.

Quinn chuckles "I don't know.. I guess people are scared of me or something. My last boyfriend broke up with me because I was too 'intimidating'" she says, making air quotations with her hands.

"Yeah .. But I'm like that too."

"That is true."

Santana turns around and faces her. "Have you ever been in love? Like, really, really in love? That you meet this person, and you are so grateful for them. So happy that every second you spend with them is worth all the ones you're apart..?"

Quinn looks down "I have.."

"Why did you let them go?"

She looks up at Santana and raises an eyebrow. "Why are you letting Brittany go?"

Brittany crawls out of bed, cursing her headache when she gets up and needs to steady herself by grabbing the doorframe. She stumbles downstairs, walks into the livingroom. It hasn't even been a day, and she already misses her wife. She shouldn't miss her this much, not when they're fighting and Santana hurt her so bad.

And yet, she can't help it.

At this moment, all she wants is to lie in Santana's arms, listen to her calming heartbeat and whisper that she loves her, despite all of her flaws. Despite her rants and her temper, despite all of their fights, despite all of the times they broke eachother's hearts.

She loves her, despite the fact that it hurts.

"San? What are you doing?"

"You're right. I am letting her go."

She rushes through the living room and throws on a sweatshirt hanging over a chair.

"Hey, that's mine!"

"Quinn." Santana looks at her and bites her lip. "Tell me that I have to go. I don't want to let her slip away, not again. I can't handle that." She shakes her head softly.

"But I need you to tell me, that this is the right thing to do."

Quinn sighs deeply. "Since when do you listen to anything I say, Santana? If you think this is the right thing, then go for it. I don't know what's right or wrong in your relationship"

"What would you do?"

"I ..-" Quinn frowns "I don't know. I would probably be doing the exact same thing you're doing right now .."

Santana's chest rises with every breath she takes, she's breathing heavily, staring at Quinn. Her shoes are already on her feet, the keys in her hand. All she needs to do is turn around and walk out of this door.

"Really?" She squeeks.

Quinn rolls her eyes. "Just go .. But don't push her to talk if she doesn't want to."

Santana nods, takes a deep breath, and disappears out of the apartment. Quinn laughs when she walks away, Santana is still wearing her pyjama pants.

Brittany pours herself a cup of chocolate milk and sits down on the couch. She pulls her legs up and rests her chin on her knees. It was just a few days ago that they seemed so good, they seemed to be getting better. And then suddenly they crash down again.

But something in Brittany still doesn't want to give up, still wants to try. Even though the other half of her is just too tired. This situation is so exhausting, and every time Brittany thinks they're going to be okay, something like this happens.

She gets up and wanders around the house. Her fingers trace the picture frames and the book shelfs, and she holds still when she sees the photo of their wedding day. She takes it in her hands and stares at it, studies every little detail. Her arm around Santana's waist, the bright smile on her face. Brittany was looking at the camera, posing, but Santana was looking at her, only her. The look in her eyes is so sweet, so full of love, Brittany melts every time she sees her like that.

They looked so happy. Like they just knew they were meant for eachother, and that it was the best day of their lives. Brittany bites her lip, trying to hold back the urge to start crying and sobbing in a corner. She feels her eyes water, so she blinks, and wipes over the picture when a teardrop falls down.

She doesn't want to let go of Santana, she doesn't want to leave her. She knows it won't do any of them good. Brittany would go back to drunken one night stands and Santana would probably get depressed again, and turn in to an even bigger workaholic than she is now.

I should call her .. Brittany thinks. No, I should just go over at Quinn's. But what if she doesn't want to see me? What if Quinn suddenly hates me for making her best friend cry?

She is pulled out of her thoughts by the door bell. She gulps, attempts to wipe her eyes dry and quickly glances in the mirror. It's obvious she has been crying, her eyes are puffy and red. She thinks about pretending she isn't home, but when the bell rings again, she cautiously walks over to the door.

She takes a deep breath, trying to get herself under control, and opens the front door.

Brittany bites her bottom lip when she suddenly stands face to face with Santana. Their sad eyes meet, neither of them say a word. Brittany stares at her wife, she looks worn out, tired, beaten down. She has been crying too, Brittany can tell. Santana sniffs, breaking the silence.

She hesitates, opens her mouth and closes it again, before looking down, staring at her feet. She nervously fiddles with her hands.

"I'm sorry" she whispers, barely hearable. She looks up, locks eyes with Brittany and purses her lips together to not start crying. "I am so sorry"

Brittany's lip trembles, before she closes the space between them and crashes into Santana's arms. Santana catches her, wraps her arms around her waist and pulls her closer. Tears are streaming down her face as she holds her wife as tightly as possible, her body shaking.

"I'm so sorry, Britty .." Santana repeats, burying her face in the blonde's hair and letting her tears darken Brittany's shirt. Brittany holds her, crying uncontrollably, wrapping her arms around Santana's neck.

They stand in the doorway for a while, when Brittany slowly lets go of Santana. She loosens her grip, arms still around her, and looks her in the eyes. Santana is still sobbing, Brittany now fully lets go of her, but then takes her hand, and closes the door behind them.

Santana is leaning against a wall, hand in her hair. She looks helpless. Her shoulders are shaking, and the look in her eyes breaks Brittany's heart. Brittany stands with her back against the door, closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath. At least one of them has to function properly right now, and from experience, she knows Santana isn't able to do that in such situations.

Brittany opens her eyes when she feels a hand on her arm. The cold of Santana's fingers is a contrast with her warm skin and she shivers, before looking up at the woman in front of her. She can see Santana trying to get control of herself, to steady her breathing, but still she looks like a beaten puppy.

"I'm sorry .. I love you" she manages to get out. "I love you, Brittany"

Her voice is shaky and tired, but sincere. Brittany believes her. She puts her arms around Santana's waist, and lets the woman lean into her. Santana is hanging onto her like it's a matter of life and death, but Brittany feels her relax a little when she starts stroking her back slowly.

"I know" she whispers."I know you do, baby"

Santana looks up at her. "I really .. I swear to God I would never cheat on you.."

Brittany gulps and nods "I know .. I would never cheat on you either .."

"I know .. I love you so much .." Santana whispers, before burying her face in the blonde's hair.

Brittany sighs "I love you too"

Santana frees herself from her wife's embrace and she wipes her eyes. She looks up at her and bites her bottom lip.

"We should talk .."

"Yeah" Brittany croaks. "We should"

Santana nods slowly, takes her wife's hand and leads her to the couch. She sits down, still holding her hand.

"I .." she takes a deep breath and looks up. "I am going to tell you, everything."

Brittany shows a little smile. "Is there so much to tell ..?"

"Well .." Santana slightly lifts her shoulders "No .. But I just think there are some things we need to talk about."

The blonde nods "Okay .. Let's start at the beginning."

"Maybe .. Maybe we should just say what we want to change .. Or something"

Brittany frowns "Maybe we should start by thinking if we even want to change .."

She sees the confused look in Santana's eyes and quickly corrects herself. "I mean if we're willing to change for the better .. To make changes in our relationship, maybe even make sacrifices .."

"Yeah .. But I am. Willing to do that." She looks up "Are you?"

Brittany breathes out, then takes Santana's hand in hers again. "Of course I am .. But it's gonna be hard. And we are probably going to fight a lot more but .. I think that it's going to be worth it."

"I know." Santana nods. "So .." she hints a smile at her wife "What is it that you can't stand about me?"

Brittany rolls her eyes and chuckles "Oh, where do I begin .." she smiles as Santana pouts at her, but she manages to get serious again. They are finally talking, and she's not gonna screw that up.

"You know, it's not that .. It's not that there are things I can't stand but .."

"Brittany, please be honest with me .. This is only going to work if we're honest with eachother. Okay? And if the other says something we don't like, we don't interrupt them. We just .. Listen"

Brittany can't help her lips curling up in a little smile. "I wanted to you you'd be an excellent relationship therapist, but then I realised you literally cut me off, just to say we can't interrupt eachother."

Santana frowns "Oh .. Sorry. Go on"

Brittany opens her mouth to continue, but Santana stops her. "Sorry, just one more thing. I am not going to be a relationship therapist ever, one human being at a time is already hard enough. I mean they just keep whining, and nagging, and they just go on and on and ooon ..." she sighs and shakes her head. "Anyway, just talk to me."

The blonde raises an eyebrow "May I?"

She receives a nod and an apologising smile from her wife, and continues. "It's just, we make promises to eachother, we have been doing that since the start and .. You know how big I am on promises. And then, you just break them, like, knowing you're breaking a promise to me. I would think that by now, you'd know that you hurt me with that .. And I know it's hard for you to understand how I feel when you come home two hours later than you promised, but it just happens so often and .. I'm so tired of eating alone, and staying up waiting, just to end up yelling at you."

Santana bites her lip and nods slowly. "Thank you for being honest with me." She whispers. "Anything else ..?"

Brittany shakes her head "Let's take turns, okay? I don't want you to get all my crap at once .."

"It's not crap" Santana comments "But okay .."

She looks up at the ceiling and sighs, before facing her wife. "I know that .. I know we're married and all, and that you want to spend as much time with me as you can. And I want that too, believe me. I can't even describe how much I love just hanging out with you, laying on the couch, or talking. But it's just that .. I feel like I barely see Quinn, or Puck, or even Rachel anymore. I mean, Quinn has been one of my best friends for ages, and I practically only see her when I'm fighting with you."

"What are you-"

"-Britt .."

Brittany looks down "Sorry .. Go on"

"I just miss my friends sometimes, you know .. And you, you're my best friend. You have always been and nothing is gonna change that but .. We're young, we should be exploring, discovering the world .."

Brittany nods slowly. "So you feel like you're being tied down by me?"

"No, not.." She sighs. "It's not just you. And I don't have a single regret about marrying you, even though we were too young in everyone's opinion. I just .. I want to go exploring, with you .."

The blonde frowns, a little smile appearing on her face. "We can do that .. I would love to go traveling with you, going on adventures.."

Santana hints a smile back. "I guess I miss us just having fun the most"

"Me too .." Brittany replies, playing with the hem of her shirt. "But sometimes I feel like there is always something more interesting in your life than me"

"You sometimes make me feel like I'm not that important, but then you get angry when I'm not around."

"Sometimes I feel like you don't want to try anymore."

Santana looks up. "Do you really?"

Brittany shrugs, biting her lip. "I .. Yeah" she mumbles.

"I'm sorry, baby .. For everything."

The blonde looks up at her wife. "I'm sorry, too"

"I love you" Santana says smiling. "And I always will."

Brittany hints a smile back. "You promise?"

Santana smiles brightly, and links her pinkie with Brittany's.

"I promise."

Thoughts?