A/N: I hate to remind you all but there is a few more chapters to go before the end. The wedding is the next chapter, this is just some family funny and a little more of everyone's favorite characters, Logan and Drunken Esme. LOL

Thanks for the continued support, it means the world to me and even though I don't answer every single review, I do read them all and smile happily.

My beta, MaggieMay14 would like to me let you guys know to enjoy the show.

I don't own twilight, I do own the mother of all baby books though.

EPOV

The next morning was a whirlwind of activities throughout the house. As Alice and Bella worked on breakfast, Jasper and I fixed the hot tub and sure enough there was a skating rink. We ended up getting out some spare wood from the garage and sticks from the woods to make a rectangle around where the water was dumped. Logan would love the chance to skate out here, we both agreed as the water covered the area we selected and by noon it was already starting to freeze.

After breakfast, Jasper and Alice headed into town to pick up some supplies for the wedding that she had ordered through a local party company while Bella and I worked on tidying up the house. It was just before ten when my parents strolled in with Charlie and Kate, smiling brightly. They had flown into Jackson Hole instead of driving and had Charlie had gotten a rental car.

He and Kate had decided to stay at a small resort a few miles away, both to give them some privacy and not to overcrowd the cabin. It was fine for a few people, but not everyone. Rose, Em and Logan were also staying at the resort but they were driving down and we expected them to show up later in the day.

"Are you excited?" asked my mother as she strolled in and gave me and Bella each a huge hug. "Tomorrow is the big day."

"Yeah, we're excited," sighed Bella as she looked around the cabin one more time to make sure everything was clean. Alice had insisted we clean the couch as thoroughly as possible once she found out we spent several days naked in the cabin.

"Where's the Christmas Tree?" asked Charlie curiously as he looked towards the bare living room. He knew one of the things Bella was most keen on having for the wedding was a huge tree and I think Alice had gone out to pick up were some decorations. I know she wasn't exactly excited when I showed her the small box filled with last year's decorations, even though Bella and I smiled wistfully at them.

"We're waiting for Logan to get here. We figure he'd want to go with us to pick it out and then we can decorate it when we get back," explained Bella as I helped my parents bring their luggage up to their room. "By the way, if Em and Rose are staying down at the Wondering Lodge, who the hell is gonna use Emmett's room?"

"I am Bella. The night before our wedding we should exactly be staying together," I said with a laugh as I noticed Charlie glare at me angrily and then wink, clearly not upset at the fact that I have been sleeping with his daughter. Bella rolled her eyes and then dragged my mother into the kitchen to show the cookies she had made earlier in the day.

"Kate and I are going to check into our room and we'll be back within the hour," said Charlie as he wrapped his arm around Kate's waist and led her from the cabin. I closed the door behind them before sinking down on to the couch.

"So, are you nervous?" asked my dad curiously as he sat beside me, his hands resting awkwardly on his lap. He seemed more nervous than I did.

"Nope. She's everything I wanted and didn't even know I was looking for," I stated firmly as I looked over the couch and towards the kitchen where my mother was tasting one of Bella's shortbread cookies. "I can't imagine what I would do without her."

"I know the feeling," he said genuinely as I caught him and my mom exchanging knowing glances. Between what Bella had already told me about my parents' sex life and their longing looks, I was getting a little unnerved about my parents staying in the cabin and I hoped to god the walls were thick.

"So what's the plan for tonight?" he inquired as I shook my head for a moment and tried to remember what Alice, Bella and my mother had planned.

"I think we're doing the tree-trimming this afternoon and having a small buffet dinner. Nothing special really, just spending time together as a family," I explained to him as he smiled brightly and then headed towards the kitchen area.

"Why in the hell is there a skating rink in the backyard?" my dad asked in surprise as Bella and I broke out into laughter but neither of us was willing to explain what really happened. I couldn't just tell my father that I was caught having sex with my fiancée in the hot tub so Alice and Jasper made me drain it. I would certainly get lectures about infections and water usage that I just didn't want to deal with.

"It's a surprise for Logan," said Bella quickly as I caught her glance and she smiled brightly at me. "Early Christmas gift."

"Oohh, he'll just love that," added my mother as I noticed her pull out my bottle of Jameson's and fix herself a drink. This was definitely going to be a long day.

Emmett, Rosalie and Logan showed up just after lunch time, after stopping at the resort first and checking in. They both seemed a little tired and were eager to pass Logan off to anyone who wanted him so they could get a bit of rest. "Hey Champ, how are you doing?" I asked him as he joined Carlisle and me in front of the TV. We were watching a repeat of a poker tournament on ESPN 8, 'The Ocho'.

"Hey Uncle Edward. I'm doing good. I can't wait for Christmas. I left Santa a note saying that I was here instead of at my own house," said Logan sounding a bit saddened. "I don't want him to forget where I am and then I get no presents."

"Do you think you were you a good boy to deserve the presents?" asked my father with a wide grin as I laughed along with him. I already knew he and Esme had a mother lode of gifts for him up in their closet, just waiting to be put under the tree tomorrow night after the wedding.

"Of course Grandpa. Momma and Daddy said I had been excellent," stated Logan firmly as he jumped up on the couch beside my father and rested his head on him. I had to admit, it was very endearing the way Logan took so easily to my parents. Sure it had been almost a year since Logan came into our lives, but I couldn't imagine him not being here. Just like I'm sure at one point, I won't be able to imagine life without the children Bella and I have.

Alice and Jasper came into the house, somewhat harried, before we had a chance to talk to Logan anymore about Santa Claus. Alice was carrying several bags and Jasper was loaded down with boxes, so my father and I jumped off the couch to help them as my mother stumbled in with another drink in her hand and Bella on her heels. "Did you buy out Target?" Bella asked with a grin as she shot me a knowing look, clearly remembering our own visit to Target last year.

"They had shitty selection," responded Alice as I clamped my hands over Logan's ears and reminded Alice to watch her language. "Oh, sorry. Hey there Logan, Target had no good Christmas decorations," she corrected herself.

"Auntie Alice, if our tree is ugly, will Santa still come?" asked Logan anxiously as well burst out into laughter.

"Yes baby, Santa will still come," reassured my mother sweetly as she ruffled his hair. "Speaking of which, aren't you strong handsome men supposed to go cut down a tree or something like that?"

"Yeah, now that Logan is here we should go," I stated firmly as Logan, Carlisle, Jasper and I all got bundled up into our winter coats and boots. I thought of going to grab Emmett, but I knew he was tired from the trip so we decided that between the three and a half of us we could chop down a tree. Hell, I did it alone last year. I made a huge fucking mess, but I did it regardless.

My father met us in the backyard with the axe he fetched from the garage and we couldn't help but sense Logan's excitement. "Is that a skating rink?" he asked happily once we walked down the stairs of the deck and into the snowy backyard.

"Sure is buddy," said Jasper with a wide grin as he winked at me and we bypassed the rink and headed into the woods. "Are we even allowed to cut down trees out here Carlisle?"

"I own the damned property, they better let me cut down my own tree," he said with a laugh as we launched into a thorough discussion on what kind of tree we wanted. Should it be tall, short, wide thin etc... It was moment's like this that I wished Alice or Bella had joined us, so we did the next best thing and Jasper called Alice for her opinion. She wanted one that was at least seven feet tall and slightly wide. After 40 minutes of trudging around the property, we finally found one decent enough and dragged it back home, praying to god they wouldn't make us go back out.

Once we had it propped up in the stand Alice had set up in the living room, we were relieved to know that she loved it. Esme cheerfully brought us each a mug of hot chocolate for our efforts and I couldn't help but be jealous that Logan's was filled with marshmallows and Bella immediately sensed this. "Are you missing some marshmallows?" she asked teasingly as she held a few up over my cup and I nodded my head, feeling a bit like an upset 10 year old boy. "I'll give them to you if you promise to come upstairs with me for a moment."

I grabbed her hand firmly in mine and we ran up the stairs to our bedroom. I didn't even care if she was simply going to tell me she was wearing yellow socks, I couldn't wait to be alone with her. I was caught off guard though when she pushed me onto our bed and straddled me, leaning down to kiss me passionately. I started to tug at the hem of her shirt, assuming I was about to get laid, when she pulled away and smoothed her shirt down.

"Do you think we're having sex with your family mere feet away?" she asked with her eye brow cocked.

"Umm… no?" I answered hesitantly as she nodded her head and kissed me again.

"Very good Mr. Cullen. I just wanted a few minutes alone with you is all," she said sweetly as she suddenly moved off of my lap and my now painful erection to cuddle beside me on the bed. "We won't have much alone time in the next two days, between the tree trimming party tonight and the wedding tomorrow. I just wanted to let you know how much I love you and can't wait to be your wife."

"And why aren't we having sex right now?" I asked with a laugh as Bella hit me in the center of the chest and we were interrupted by a loud knock.

"Uncle Edward and Auntie Bella… Auntie Alice told me to tell you to stop necking and come help with the tree," called Logan as we both burst into laughter at being interrupted yet again. We could then hear Logan waking up Emmett and Rosalie and didn't feel so bad. At least he didn't run in here and jump on the bed like he did with his parents.

We reluctantly left the bedroom and found Rosalie and Emmett standing outside of his old room, rubbing the sleep from their eyes. "You guys can rest tonight, let's go trim a tree," laughed Logan as he grabbed my hand and Rosalie's and dragged us down the stairs behind him. I grabbed my hot chocolate, now filled with marshmallows and downed it quickly as Charlie and Kate wandered in a moment later to join the fun.

We spent the next three hours stringing lights, ornaments and garland on the tree until my mother and Alice deemed it beautiful enough for a backdrop for our wedding photos. Rosalie and Alice spent most of their time decorating the rest of the room festively, with the help of Jasper who would climb on the ladder to hang things up instead of either of the girls. Bella was in the kitchen helping my mother who by six o'clock was already three sheets to the wind.

"Did you know in the early days of my marriage to Carlisle we used to pretend mistletoe was for sex, not kissing and we once did it six times in one day while we were decorating the house for the holidays," announced my mother as virtually everyone in the room cringed with the exception of Charlie and Kate who both laughed loudly.

"Esme, perhaps you should steer clear of the alcohol. We don't need a repeat of Bella's bachelorette party," chided my father as I looked at him quizzically and my mother spoke up and seemed angry.

"I'm celebrating the wedding of my youngest son, that's not a crime Carlisle. If it is, you should have brought the handcuffs from your nightstand because there are no cops around here with the exception of Charlie and this certainly isn't his jurisdiction" slurred my mother happily as I groaned at the same time as Alice and Emmett. "Although for the record, I certainly wouldn't mind being cuffed and strip searched by you Charlie Swan." I was about to break out into a laugh when I thought I heard my mom purr in his direction and decided to replace all the booze bottles with water. I was prepared to face her wrath but not her uninhibited mouth.

"I think you've mentioned that before Esme," laughed Kate as I looked at her in shock. When the hell had my mother wanted to get with Charlie Swan?

"What the hell are you two talking about?" asked Rosalie curiously as Kate covered her mouth in shock.

"I'm a little confused myself," added Alice who was looking at our mother for answers.

"I might have gotten a little chatty after my arrest and implied that Charlie had a big dick in the elevator up to our room in Seattle," said my mother as everyone looked at each other in silent shock.

"I'm actually surprised you remember that Esme considering how drunk you were. Nothing happened though," clarified Charlie, even though it didn't make it any better. "Although she did seem interested in a foursome with Kate and me."

"Mother," yelled out Emmett in disgust as I covered my face with my hands and couldn't help the laughter that was fighting to get out. Just having this discussion the day before my wedding was completely mortifying. With my luck, they were going to get out rulers and have us all compare cock size.

"Maybe we should hide the booze," whispered Jasper to me as I nodded my head and he went towards the kitchen, trying to be careful to not be caught by my mother who was now in the corner being lectured by my dad about her drinking habits no doubt. I couldn't help but feel relieved when I saw Jasper put all the liquor back in the cabinet and lock it, tossing the key into his pocket.

I was about to go help Bella in the kitchen as she finished up the food for dinner when there was a knock on the door and I smiled brightly. Alice ran to answer it and the entire room was greeted with 'Where's my baby?" by a rather obnoxious and loud voice. Renee had finally arrived.

BPOV

"Mother?" I shouted out from the kitchen as Renee kicked off her boots and ran towards me, her arms so far out stretched that I thought she might take out Jasper or Emmett in her haste.

"You are looking lovely Bella. Which one of these studs is your Edward?" asked my mother as her eyes clearly wandered around the room. "Is it the one with the muscles and broad shoulders? He has an ass you can bounce quarters off of doesn't he? I bet he shags like a lion in the sack," she announced to the room as I heard Rosalie break out into loud laughter at my mother's incorrect assumption. Well she might not be wrong about Emmett's sexual prowess but I really didn't want to know. I grabbed her hand and led her towards Edward, who was now standing by the front door bringing in her luggage from the porch.

"Mother, this is Edward Cullen, my fiancée," I said calmly as Edward reached his hand out for her to shake and she instead threw herself around him like he was a solider home from war. Edward seemed a little taken aback by her affection, but welcomed it none the less.

"It's a pleasure to finally put a face to the voice," he said coolly as I looked at him in curiosity as I wondered when the hell he ever talked to my mother.

"You are so fucking handsome. What's with the hair though? Where's Esme? I have to hug the shit out of that woman for all of her help," she gushed as I pointed her towards Edward's drunken mom in the corner and couldn't help but laugh as I noticed Esme's hand was rubbing Carlisle through his pants.

"How the fuck do you and your mom know my mom?" I asked in surprise as Edward grabbed my hand and led me into the kitchen. Alice and Jasper were setting up the food and egg nog on the dining room table for our dinner and Logan was playing cards with Kate and Charlie while Emmett and Rosalie were curled up on the couch. Everything seemed so perfect and then 'Hurricane Renee' arrived.

"I called your mom and asked her to come. She came up with the idea of making you think she couldn't come, sneaky woman you have there," laughed Edward. "I put her in touch with my mother and they have apparently been talking for weeks, she even helped make some of the plans." From their corner we could hear Renee and Esme chatting happily like old friends, old drunken sorority sisters.

"Where the hell is she going to stay?" I asked incredulously as I did the math and noticed there were no bedrooms left at the cabin since Edward and I would be apart.

"She's staying in Emmett's room and I am staying in my room," said Edward fiercely as I grew excited that I got to spend the evening with him. "You however are going to the resort with Alice and Rosalie. Apparently you have a spa appointment in the morning to get your nails and hair done." I was suddenly furious that no one had told me of these plans but all of my thoughts went out the window the moment my mother noticed my father sitting on the couch playing cards.

"Well Charlie, time has certainly agreed with you," she said seductively as I noticed Kate was quick to stand beside my father, her arm now tight around his waist. "Who's the broad?"

"Renee, this is my girlfriend Kate… Kate, this is Bella's mom Renee," said Charlie awkwardly as the women reluctantly shook hands and seemed to size each other up. I couldn't understand why my mom was suddenly flirting with Charlie when she was the one who left him in the first place all those years ago. "You are looking well Renee. Where's Phil?"

"Phil now bats for the other team. Ironic huh considering he played baseball for years?" laughed Renee nervously and I was suddenly overwhelmed with images of learning about Phil's preference for her lacy underwear, since my mother was keen on over sharing. I wasn't sure I was ready for that conversation. Renee didn't seem to be bothered by it that much though because she ambled back to Esme and wrapped her arm around her shoulder, pulling her away from Carlisle. "So, why weren't you trying to get these crazy kids together sooner?" she asked Esme with a wide smile.

"Alice wouldn't let me honestly. However, last Christmas I would have shoved them in my pantry to hump like bunnies if I thought it would do any good," laughed Esme with a cheerful smile as Edward and I were both completely mortified.

"Yeah, those were some not so subtle hints you were throwing around all night Esme," added Carlisle with a grin as he sat on the floor beside Logan and helped him with his card game.

"What does 'hump like bunnies' mean Grandpa?" asked Logan innocently as the entire room burst out laughing and my mom ambled towards him to try to explain. I was quick to follow her and cover her mouth before she could explain the birds and bees to the wide eyed six year old. Luckily, Logan forgot all about his question when Esme started to freak out because the booze was missing.

"Don't worry Esme," called out my mom as she walked towards her, rifling through her purse as she went. "I have a trusty flask of Whiskey that we can share."

"I knew I loved you Renee," said Esme happily as Renee handed her the small silver flask and she took a sip greedily.

"Okay, we need to tone down the mother's," whispered Edward to me as I nodded my head but was unsure of how to go about it. Thank god for Alice who announced that everything for dinner was in the dining room and everyone made a mad dash to get away from the awkwardness that Esme and Renee had caused. We ate in relative silence, enjoying the Christmas music that was filling the house and the light conversations. I was dreading the moment when the women had no more food to occupy them and began to do something really stupid.

"Did Charlie ever tell you about the time Bella went pee on Santa's lap because she was so scared?" asked Renee as I threw my hands over my ears and tried desperately to drown out the story which she retold in painstaking detail, much to the amusement of Emmett and Edward. I was about to stand up from my chair when Edward grabbed my arm and pulled me back down.

"Don't let her bother you," said Edward sweetly. "She's probably just drunk like Esme and tomorrow this will all be a bad memory."

"She's not drunk Edward, this is Renee. Plus, it's easy for you to laugh when the story isn't about you. Perhaps you wouldn't be so easy to forgive if it was your mother telling an embarrassing story about you from your childhood."

"When Edward was younger he used to love to be naked and he would always play with his willie. Whenever Carlisle and I tried to talk him out of it, he used to always say that it was his willie and he loved it. It was the most adorable yet creepy thing. Does he still have an obsession with his willie Bella?" exclaimed Esme loudly as the room grew into loud raucous laughter and Edward gripped my hand tightly, pulling me onto the front porch to apparently freeze our asses off.

"It's not too late to fly to Vegas you know," he said genuinely as I wrapped my arms around him, both in an attempt to comfort him and to stay warm.

"I know baby, but in twenty four hours we will be married and then forty eight hours from now we will be on our honeymoon," I explained to Edward as he hugged me closer to him. "Our parents might be driving us crazy but think positive, when this is Emmett's turn the stories will no doubt be twice as bad." We both smiled happily before leaning in for a sweet kiss that was interrupted by Alice.

"Can you guys come back inside? I've distracted the women with wedding talk, so we think the house is safe," laughed Alice as Edward nodded his head and kissed me again before we stepped inside the house.

We spent the next hour going through wedding details with our moms both of whom reminded me of a drunken version of Sophia from the Golden Girls. My mother kept cursing and every time Logan came over to see us, we had to basically keep our hands covered over his ears for safety's sake.

It was just before eleven when Alice told me to corner Edward for some private time because we had to be leaving soon for the resort. My heart sunk to my feet at the prospect of leaving him for the night. We hadn't been apart since I came back from my book tour and I had liked sleeping in his arms a little too much. I wondered if I would be able to sleep at all tonight without him by my side.

I found Edward in the kitchen having a conversation with Jasper about the ice rink in the backyard. They were planning to make a run to Target in the morning to get Logan a pair of skates to give it a try tomorrow morning before they needed to get ready for the wedding. "Do you mind if I steal my husband?" I asked anxiously as Jasper simply nodded his head and I grabbed Edward's hand and led him to the pantry, of all places. I knew there was no way we could make it upstairs before our mothers started to make obscene suggestions about blow jobs or something like that, so the pantry was the only logical option.

I closed the door tightly behind us and immediately latched my lips onto his. My tongue was deep in his mouth before he pushed me away from him and was gasping for air. "Not to complain, but what has gotten over you?" asked Edward with a wide grin.

"Alice said we're going to leave soon so I should make the best out of my time left with you Mr. Cullen," I said sadly as I felt him grab my ass and lift me up. I quickly wrapped my legs around his waist and started to kiss him passionately again as I threaded my fingers through his thick hair and he pushed his hard on against my eager pussy. Edward turned us around and my back was up the shelving, covered in various non-perishables and it wasn't exactly the most comfortable thing in the world, but I didn't care right now. I continued kissing him with all the force and passion I could muster.

"I can't wait to marry you Mrs. Cullen," said Edward as we took a moment to compose ourselves before I started to kiss him again at the mention of my soon to be name. I decided to push the boundaries of what I thought we had time for and began unbuttoning his dress shirt, my lips now finding purchase against his chest and I began kissing him all over his bare chest before Edward lowered me and I was pulling his belt off.

Edward was tugging furiously at my own shirt and had lifted it off, leaving me in my bra. I had his boxer short covered cock in my hands when the door to the pantry suddenly flew open and Logan and Esme stood on the other side, both of their mouths wide open.

"We found them," called out Logan with a tiny smile on his face. Esme, however, was smiling brightly.

"They were in the pantry humping like bunnies."

A/N: Now that you have read my chapter, move on over to a few that I am either reading or assisting with as a Beta. All these links are in the C2 for Underappreciated but Well Written Stories on my profile.

Someone to Watch Over Me by flightlessbird11 (my partner in smut)

The Edward Pattinson Project by bettygale (new story I am beta'ing. One chapter posted so far, so put her on alert and leave a review you sweet people you)

Selfinflicted by AtalantaCerelia (She just wrote the first lemon which I beta'd today and should be posted soon. She did an excellent job too, so that's something to look forward to.)

New chapter won't be posted till we reach 1,900 reviews or I get back from the cottage.. which ever comes first :)