A/N: edited 10/01/15

Tbh this is a filler chapter.

Chapter 32: Dandelions

Katniss

Short, gasping breaths are what rip me from my peaceful slumber, and I sit up, confused, and find Peeta curled up in a ball on his side facing away from me, tugging on his hair, muttering nonsense under his breath.

"Peeta," I whisper, shaking his shoulder gently. "Peeta, it's just a dream," he lets out a choked sob and I pull him onto his back, uncurling his fingers from his hair and twisting them with mine. "Peeta! Not real!" I cry, willing him to wake. His eyes snap open, his pupils contracting as he stares wildly about the room before finally settling on me.

"Katniss…" he mumbles in relief, pulling me down and squeezing my tightly, so tightly that I struggle to breath. I rub his back comfortingly, listening to his heart racing.

"It's okay. Not real. You're safe."

"I- I don't care about me. I just need to know that you're okay," he says, inhaling deeply. "You're okay, right?"

"I've never been better," I smile to reassure him and he sighs. I give him a few minutes to calm down and come back to his senses before speaking again, tracing circles over his skin. "You want to talk about it?" It's Peeta's turn to stay silent. I wait patiently for an answer.

"No," he finally decides. "It's nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure," he smiles, but I see right through it. He's still trying to shake whatever he was dreaming about. He cranes his neck to look at the clock. "I'll go get us some breakfast."

He climbs out of bed and pulls on some soft, dark blue pants. I fish one of his shirts from the top drawer of the chest of drawers once he's gone, bathing in his smell. This is one of my favourite shirts on him; it's kitten-soft, the Mellark lettering over the front has begun to fade, and it never seems to lose Peeta's smell. I pull the covers back so they're a little neater and smile. We've fallen into an easy routine so quickly and easily that it feels like this is what was meant to happen all along. It feels familiar. And now I can share it with him forever. It's going to take a long time to get used to being a wife and to be able to say Katniss Mellark without taking a moment to simply appreciate who I've married.

Two days later, in the early morning light of the first day back to school, I'm standing behind Peeta with a pair of sharp kitchen scissors in my hand, cutting his hair. It's been irritating him to no end recently, having finally grown into his eyes.

"I love your hair being a little long," I tell him, cutting around his ear as carefully as possible. So far I haven't hurt him, though the day is young.

"I know you do," he chuckles. "It just needs to be long enough for you to mess about with, but short enough so that I can actually see."

"Don't be so dramatic," I say, brushing away the cut hair from around his ear before moving to stand in front of him. "I wasn't going to let you grow it like Darrel Ray." I think of the boy in the grade below who has hair down to his waist hanging in a horrible greasy curtain. Peeta snorts.

"I wouldn't let my hair get like that." I smile hold the scissors out to cut the hair on the top of his head and over his forehead. "Please don't make me look ridiculous."

"You do that by yourself," I grin. Peeta pokes me in the side, knowing I'm ticklish, and the scissors slip slightly in my hand as I cut the hair by his eyebrows. "Oh, shit." I say, stepping back and covering my mouth with my hand, laughter bubbling up in my chest.

"What have you done?!" he exclaims, grabbing the hand-held mirror sat on the kitchen table as I laugh. The middle of his eyebrow is gone.

"I'm sorry!" I croak between rounds of laughter as Peeta stares at the remainders of his brow in the mirror. "You poked me and I accidently cut through it! This is your fault!"

"Thanks a lot, Katniss," he grumbles, but I know he's joking.

"Your hair looks alright though," I try to make amends, putting the scissors down and pulling gently at his hair. "I sure no one will notice."

"I think I should cut off a bit of your eyebrow too," he says. "At least then it would be equal. I could start a trend!"

"Somehow I don't see it catching on," I remark. Peeta rolls his eyes and puts the mirror down before gripping my hips and pulling me towards him.

"Thanks for cutting my hair."

"You're very welcome," I laugh. He kisses me and as he does so the baby kicks again, stretching and shifting. I pull away and press my hands to my stomach, mesmerised. "He always moves when you're close." Peeta's eyes travel down from my face to my stomach. "I think he likes to hear your voice."

"I thought Prim and Sae said it was a girl."

I shrug my shoulders. "We can't know for sure."

"I don't think I'd like to know, even if we could. A surprise is good, I think."

"What do you want? A girl or a boy?" I squeeze his shoulder. "Maybe a girl would hunt with me, but a boy would bake with you."

"I don't mind. As long as they're happy and healthy, I'll be alright."

A few hours later, the happy mood that talk of the baby has brought on is gone as I'm being forcibly dragged to school. Well, Peeta is trying his best to get me out of the house, but he's so far been unsuccessful. "Katniss, come on. We have to go. It's the law," he reasons, tugging me out of the door. I dig my heels into the ground, bracing my hands on the doorframe. He sighs, holding his head in his hands. "What's wrong?"

"I can't go to that place. Not like this."

"Like what?"

"Like this!" I exclaim, looking down at my ridiculously sized stomach. I turn and start for the stairs, ready to change into more comfortable clothes and lie in bed all day. Peeta grabs my arms, pinning them to my sides and pushing me back so I'm against the wall.

"What does it matter what everyone else thinks?"

"School's pointless."

"I know, but we have to go. It's the law. And we need to go so that we can pass the exams at the end of the year," I open my mouth to speak. "Just ignore what people say. You're good at that, aren't you?" He grins at my scowl.

"You of all people should know," I deadpan, and he chuckles, releasing my arms.

"You're my beautiful, wonderful wife. And anyone who thinks otherwise is obviously blind."

"Say it again," I murmur. Peeta raises an eyebrow in confusion. "Say that I'm your wife."

"You're my wife."

"What's my name?"

"Katniss Mellark."

"Peeta and Katniss Mellark," I say, tasting the words.

"And Katniss Mellark isn't afraid of what some stupid person thinks. Is she?"

"She isn't," I smile, threading my fingers through the curls at the nape of Peeta's neck, before moving my hand to smooth over his mangled eyebrow which is only just starting to grow back.

"Let's go then. We don't want to be late. That would just cause more problems," he tucks a lock of hair behind my ear, adjusts my scarf, and takes my hand.

It takes about fifteen minutes to walk to school, and the bell that signals the start of the day rings just as we walk through the gates. I follow the crowds of students flooding to the main entrance, trying to blend in. We head for my locker first so that I can exchange my books. Peeta leans against the locker next to mine, watching people go past and waving to those he's friendly with. My fingers hover over the buttons of my coat, hesitant to undo them. He immediately senses this and stands in front of me, removing my coat himself, folding it neatly and putting it into my locker. I tug my shirt and baggy sweater anxiously.

"You're beautiful," he reminds me, taking my hand and leading me to his locker, which is right in the middle of the main hallway – the busiest place in the school.

"Everyone is staring."

"They have every right to be curious."

"I don't want them to."

"I know you don't," he sympathises, shutting his locker and looping an arm around my waist. He walks me to my first class, kissing me at the door and telling me to keep my head up and that it'll be alright. I feel alone and empty when he leaves, his hands in his pockets as he makes his way down the hallway. I almost believe him until I turn and face the class. Cheerful chatter ceases, reduced to catty whispers and conspiring glances. I flop down into my seat at the back of the room beside a smiling Madge.

"What happened to Peeta's eyebrow?" she asks.

"Huh?"

"Half of the right one is missing. Mitch saw him in the hallway and told me about it."

"Oh!" I nod my head, a smirk appearing on my face. "Yeah, I was cutting his hair and my hand slipped. He's lucky I didn't stab him in the eye."

"That's adorable," my friend sighs. "You were cutting his hair," she explains at my confused expression. "You two are so cute."

"He was getting annoyed because it was in his eyes," I tell her, lifting my books onto the desk. "But I like his hair a little longer... It feels nice to run my fingers through it..." I trail off, embarrassed. Madge coos beside me.

"Don't be embarrassed. I think it's amazing that you trust him so much," her eyes are sincere as she talks, glancing from me to the teacher. "I mean, don't take this the wrong way, but you've always been quite a closed-off person."

"I know."

"And you've only really been with Peeta for a few months, and it's clear that you love him a lot." I don't answer, lost in thought. Madge is right. I was a closed-off person. A big part of me still is. But after all this mess with Peeta, he's shown me that people are good. That not everyone is selfish and mean and shallow, but that if you find the right person, they'll do anything for you, and you'd do anything for them. That love is capable of being strong enough to make my head spin.

Peeta

My day is calmer than Katniss'. I get people whispering or gossiping obnoxiously right in front of me, but I'm better at taking insults in my stride than Katniss is. She tells me about the people who have called her a slut or a whore, the people who have asked her whether she's happy about ruining my life, whether she realises that the baby won't want parents like us. She tells me that it's the people who say nothing that hurt the most, because she doesn't know if they simply don't care, don't mind, or refuse to say what they're really thinking out loud.

She tries her best to brush it all off, to walk past the bullies, to ignore the cruel jibes, but I can see that she's upset. The way that she's constantly adjusting her clothes as she walks along makes me upset too. I don't know if she's embarrassed or just feeling like the world is against her. Right now, I think she's experiencing both of those feelings. By the time lunch swings round, she's at breaking point. I tell her to sit down with Madge while I get us some lunch, but by the time I'm out of the lunch line only Madge and Mitch are sitting at the usual table.

"Where's Katniss?" I ask, putting down the tray.

"I thought she was with you," Madge says, looking around the cafeteria.

"I told her to go and sit down while I got us some lunch," I frown. "I'm going to go and look for her." I tell them, slinging my bag over my shoulder and exiting the cafeteria. I bump into Wolf on my way out and he grabs my arm.

"Katniss just ran past here a few minutes ago, headed down the east corridor. She looked real upset, man," he tells me.

"The east corridor?" I ask. Wolf nods. "Okay, thanks!" I take off, down the corridor, and find that it's empty. Apart from a few classrooms and the toilets, there's nothing in this corridor. It doesn't lead outside or anywhere else in the school. It's a dead end. I check all the classrooms. Empty. I stare up at the door to the girl's bathroom. She has to be in there. I take a deep breath and push open the door.

"What the fuck?" A girl with fiery red hair glares at me, her red lipstick smudged over her cheek as I burst into the room. "Get the fuck out of here! This is the girls bathroom!"

I march past her and down the rows of cubicles. "Katniss? Are you in here?" I call, pushing on the cubicle doors as I pass them. They all swing open except the very last one. I sigh and knock on the door. "Katniss? Is that you?"

"G-go away!" her choked sob comes back.

"Katniss..."

"I don't want to see anyone right now, I just want some space."

"Please open the door."

"Peeta, just go."

"I'm not going to leave," I say stubbornly, and the girl with the lipstick flounces out the room, shooting me a dirty look. "Just open the door." There's no response for a minute or two, but Katniss eventually slides the lock open on the door and pulls it open. What greets me is a teary mess. She wipes her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater and sniffs. I pull her into my arms, resting my chin on her head.

"I'm here. It's okay." She bursts into tears again, burying her face into my chest.

"It's j-just too much. I'm tired and h-hungry all the time, and I don't want people being horrible to me. It's n-not fair. Why can't they just mind their own business?" She takes a deep breath to steady herself, and I let her calm down before answering.

"I'm just as tired as you are," I whisper. "And I can't stop people staring. You have to ignore everything they say to you, Kat. Don't let it get to you." She sighs, but the noise wobbles. "We've got a few more lessons to go and then you can go home, put your feet up, and sleep for as long as you want."

"That sounds nice."

"I'll even make you something with chocolate."

"That sounds even better."

"Are you going come and eat something? I think I'll get suspended if I'm caught in here." Katniss chuckles before pulling away, her eyes swimming with tears.

"I got your clothes all wet," she says, rubbing the wet patch on my jacket. I press a kiss to her forehead and pretend that she isn't the only one who feels exhausted all the time. I'd like to sleep for a long time too, preferably with Katniss curled up beside me, because I know that she can fend away nightmares of the mines.

She doesn't know what the nightmare I had a few days ago was about, I doubt I'll ever tell her. After the terror she felt from the nightmare in which she had a knife in hand, I was dead and the baby was gone, I don't want her to feel any more unstable with knowledge of what I dreamt about. I dreamt that I was working in the mines, that the bright yellow canary stopped singing, dropping dead in its little cage. That we all ran for the elevator to get back to the surface. But I didn't make it on, and was buried under the falling rock.

But then, in a confusing twist of events, I was alive again, standing outside the mine entrance, covered in coal dust as people screamed and cried out the names of loved ones around me. Those who had made it out alive were surrounded by their families, hugging and crying and smiling in the relief that they hadn't been lost. I glanced around frantically looking for Katniss, for anyone, but there was no one to be found. I ran to the mine manager who was talking to a distraught woman, but when I asked if he had seen Katniss or my parents or brothers he just looked straight at me and continued talking, as if he couldn't hear me or see me. I frowned and asked him again, but he just walked forward... right through me.

I jumped, surprised, and spun around to see him walk towards Katniss.

"Mr Mellark didn't make it out," he said gently, shoulders slumping when Katniss let out a gut-wrenching cry, dropping to her knees and holding her head in her hands. "The roof collapsed before he got to the elevator. I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

Katniss just screamed and cried and collapsed onto the floor, holding her stomach and sobbing, tears flowing down her cheeks. I dropped down beside her and shouted her name, over and over again, yelling and grabbing for her, but my hands just went straight through her body. She doesn't hear me either, let alone see me.

"Katniss!" I hear someone shout. Fen and Rye burst onto the scene, followed by my father. "Where's Peeta?"

"He d-didn't make it!" she wails. "The g-ground collapsed before he c-could get out!" The look on my brothers' faces is heart-breaking. I wave my arms about, yelling and shouting.

"I'm right here! I'm alive! What are you talking about?!" I exclaim in a panicky voice. Katniss cries my name and Rye tries to help her up, staggering when her limbs give out and she falls against him.

"It'll be alright, Katniss," he offers, his eyes wide. Nobody ever thought this would happen. Fen runs his hands through his hair. My Dad begins to shout at the manager, demanding that they send someone down there to check and begging that they do something, anything to bring me back.

Time warps once more and I'm in our house, standing in the doorway of the room we've reserved for the baby. I hear a soft cry from behind me and crane my head. Katniss walks straight through me and into the room, humming softly to the little body bundled up in her arms. The soft cry I heard was from our son or daughter. She reaches down and places the infant into the crib. She begins to sing softly, a mournful melody, her hair long and wavy down her back. I try to take a step forward, to hold her in my arms, to see what's happening, but my feet are glued to the floor. I'm unable to take a single step. Katniss turns and glances up at the door, her eyes widening as if she suddenly sees me, hears me, but then her face falls.

I realise how tired she looks. She's aged twenty years. Her hair is still long, her eyes are still grey, but she looks sad. She looks defeated and on the brink of giving up all together. She grabs a small, three-legged stool from the corner of the room and brings it over to sit beside the cot dangling one arm through the bars, singing again. After a while she stops singing and just sits there, watching the sleeping child. I try to sneak a glance at the baby, but it's just out of sight.

"Your Daddy would've loved to have met you," Katniss whispers. "He was so excited to meet you. He painted this room for you," I look around and find that the walls are decorated by my hand, though I don't remember doing it. "And he always wanted a little... a little..." She trails off, her voice breaking. "P- P-," she stops again. Why can't she say my name? "He loved you so much, and he hadn't even met you yet."

"No, I'm alive. I'm here!" I exclaim, my eyes wide.

"Grandpa said that he loved children. I knew it too. Grandpa says that he would've done anything for you. Grandpa says that he misses your Daddy."

"Grandpa?" I ask, my voice a pained whisper. Dad!?

"And Uncle Fen and Uncle Rye and Auntie Prim said they miss him too. Even Grandma misses him," she chuckles softly. "Even though she hasn't said it just yet."

Uncle Fen? Uncle Rye? Auntie Prim? Grandma?

"I don't know what's more sad- that he gave up his life because he wanted to provide for you, or that he never got to meet his child," Katniss' body shudders and she takes a deep breath.

Who is she talking to?

"Katniss? Please? Just turn around," I beg, tears rolling down my cheeks. Why is this happening? I'm not dead. I'm alive. I'm still here, right now!

"But we'll go and visit Daddy's grave tomorrow. You like that don't you? You like putting dandelions there," Katniss is silent for a long time. "He always liked dandelions, didn't he?" I don't know if she's saying this to the sleeping child or to herself, but it breaks my heart nevertheless.

And then I'm being pulled backwards by some invisible force, out of the house before I can hear her say anything else. Everything gets darker, darker, darker, until it's just endlessly black in every direction, and I don't even try to find my way out.