So there I stood without a clue
My head tried tell me what to do
My heart started playing tug-of-war
Like it's out of my hands.-Daring to be different by Everlife
--
Diagon Alley was crammed with the rush of animated students hastening to restock their desired school supplies on this nippy autumn day, while shopkeepers scuttled to and fro attempting to fill all of the necessary demands.
Natalie and Dorcas swept from bookstore to candy shop blending in with the crowd as they found the proper utensils to keep them company in the upcoming school year. Mrs. Meadowes, who carefully avoided the olwery, was convinced that Dorcas old owl, Whimsy, was more than suitable to attend to the essential burdens of a seventh year student and instead found it appropriate to buy her daughter a brand new set of flashy dress robes.
"Dress robes?!" Dorcas whispered dejectedly as they sauntered away from the shop. "What kind of girl would prefer a pair of dress robes over an owl? It's not like we're poor or anything. She is a Healer, and I did get an Outstanding in Defense against the Dark Arts."
Natalie could only nod or shake her head at the appropriate times, consoling her that the world had not come to an end, and that someday her mother might see eye to eye with a girl's sentimental needs. Slowly, they strolled through the town, a faint chill constantly murmuring at their sides. As they passed the Quiditch shop, Dorcas froze when she spotted the bright yellow and gold colors of a quiditch broom propped idly against the display window.
"The Nimbus 1500!" She marveled enviously, taking in its every feature. "Mum can we-"
"No," Mrs. Meadowes snapped irately as she came up behind her.
Dorcas gave a false sob and smoothed her hand gently across the translucent glass surface, "Someday," she mourned. "Someday…"
"It's just a broom. Sweeping floors is the most valuable thing it will ever do in its life," Natalie scoffed as her friend continued to gaze forlornly at the piece of wood.
"Just a broom? Sweeping?!" Dorcas snapped. "Don't listen to her," she muttered to the window somberly. "She's prejudice against all wooden objects."
"No," Natalie raised a brow, "I just don't like them."
"Just because you dreamt some bloke fell off his broom two-hundred feet in the air doesn't mean it'll actually happen," Dorcas whined as they continued on down the bustling street.
"It could," Natalie grimaced remembering the dreadful nightmare.
"Anything can happen when you're having fun," Dorcas grinned as she ogled the ice-cream parlor. "That's what makes it fun."
--
The day prior to the scheduled leave of the Hogwarts Express train was greeted with a wave of flurry for the Meadowes' residents. Dorcas and Natalie scrambled throughout their rooms trying to cram in the last minute necessities for seventh year, while Mrs. Meadowes was overloaded with assignments from St. Mungo's.
Natalie's heart skipped a beat as she glanced over her list of items to bring one last time. She was so excited and yet nervous at the same time to finally attend the institute with her friend, and she had no idea what to expect. A sudden thought pierced her mind as she clamped her suitcase shut and her supper reeled in her stomach.
What if she wasn't put into Gryffindor?
"We leave bright and early," Dorcas poked her head into the room. "Try to get as much sleep as you can."
"Yeah," Natalie drawled sarcastically. The butterflies in her stomach were doing roller coasters and she doubted they would cease anytime soon.
"Gosh," Dorcas laughed. "I still can't believe James Potter made head boy," she shook her head for the hundredth time that day. "Lily is absolutely furious. I can't wait to see her," she smiled. "You'll have so much fun at Hogwarts. You'll see."
"Yeah, I hope so," Natalie bid her goodnight and slipped into a nightgown, insomnia having its immediate effect.
--
The next morning came as a blur to the girls. Mrs. Meadowes quickly shoved breakfast down everyone's throats and before they knew it, they found themselves standing on platform nine and three-quarters in front of a large magnificent train, its engine steaming puffs of smoke into the surrounding air. They say that just by looking at something you can determine its inner aura, but as the brilliant gold and black exterior sparkled in the sunlight, Natalie knew that there was much more to this royal train than what met the eye.
"Welcome to the Hogwarts Express!" Dorcas smiled fondly taking in the familiar scene.
Crowds of bustling students littered the station; some greeting their friends animatedly, while others wished their families' farewell.
"I sure will miss you two," Mrs. Meadowes sighed as she came up behind them.
"Ah, mum. We'll be sure to write," Dorcas tilted her head amused. "We'll see you over the Hols."
"Of course," Mrs. Meadowes pursed her lips. "But it still hurts me to send you away into the midst of eerie children."
Dorcas giggled and pecked her mum on the cheek. "See you next break," she retorted.
"Thank you for everything, Mrs. Meadowes," Natalie smiled graciously. "I really appreciate all you've done."
"Of course, dear," she grinned. "Now, if you have any trouble at school whatsoever, you be sure to tell me."
"Sure thing," Natalie blushed.
Suddenly a high piercing whistle echoed through the platform and Mrs. Meadowes jumped, startled. "Well, I have to get going or I'm going to be late for work." Quickly, she nudged both girls' cheeks, "Be good now," she smiled and sauntered away.
"This is it," Dorcas chortled. "To Hogwarts we go!" Jovially, she scooped up her bags and wispy owl cage and squinted at the audience for a familiar face. "I wonder where Lily is," she hummed in thought.
Natalie glanced around the platform once more, her heart twisting at the many strangers preparing for departure. The excitement could be felt in the air and several students were already aboard the train. A deep sense of loneliness hit her like a tidal wave, and she began to feel nauseous from the many people now stealing glances in her direction. She truly was alone.
It was her first official day of school, and she had no mother to wish her farewell. She was heading off into the unknown. She would be living with strangers in a strange school where she knew no one but Dorcas. She didn't want to do it. Natalie tried to bite back the panic threatening to erupt, but as she heard the high tooting of the train once again, her heart stopped in her chest.
"I can't do this," she whispered harshly into Dorcas' ear.
"Do what?" she asked perplexed.
"Go to Hogwarts! I want to go home. To your home. Take me back. I can't do this," she pleaded terrified. "There are so many people!"
"What?" Dorcas gaped.
"I want to go now," she begged once again, her emotions squirming inside. Dorcas turned to look her straight in the eye and noticed the familiar sparkle she got when she was frightened.
"Natalie love," she sighed. "It's going to be fine," she said softly. "The people at Hogwarts are nice, pleasant people. You'll see. Everyone started out as the new kid in the beginning so they know how it is…"
Natalie chewed on her lip nervously, "But there are just so many."
"Natalie calm down," Dorcas mused, used to her friend's terror. "It'll be fine. Get a hold of yourself. We are going to school to find you a cure for your nightmares. Stay focused. That is what you want. That is what you need, if you go back home you'll be no better than you are right now."
Natalie sighed dejectedly, but nodded her head in agreement. "I suppose you're right."
"Of course I am smarty-pants. Now let's get moving before we lose our seat," she searched the room once again until her eyes landed on a tall lanky youth whose face was concealed in a book.
"Oi, Remus!" she hollered ecstatically, making her way across the hall. The boy behind the novel raised his head curiously and smiled when he saw who had called.
Natalie followed Dorcas reluctantly, seemingly interested in the shoelaces on her feet. She didn't like strangers; not one bit.
"Hello, Remus," Dorcas greeted in a singsong voice that echoed off the platform walls. "Look who I brought with me to Hogwarts this year," she beamed as Natalie shuffled embarrassedly.
"Miss Doge, right?" Remus said politely, holding a hand out to shake.
Natalie stared at his open palm hesitantly before clasping it with her own, "Yes," she muttered lamely. "Nice to meet you."
"Say, Remus," Dorcas rubbed her chin expectantly. "You don't happen to know where Lily is do ya?"
"I saw her back there with her family awhile ago," he pointed north, furrowing his brow as he did so.
"Oh, thank you," Dorcas pecked him on the cheek. "It's nice to see you again by the way." And with that, she ran in the direction in whence he pointed, dragging Natalie closely behind her.
A beautiful redhead girl stood next to a small group of Muggles, a frown evident on her face.
Dorcas smiled gleefully and snuck up behind her, "Now what could have possibly made my dear Lily so upset?" she hummed softly in her ear.
The female turned around, a huge smile overwhelming her face.
"Dorcas!" she squealed in delight, squeezing her friend in a tight embrace.
"Hey, look at whom I brought with me this year," Dorcas wriggled her eyebrows, causing Natalie to blush, if possible, even deeper.
"Hello," Lily smiled kindheartedly. "My name is Lily Evans, although Dorcas most likely told you that much."
"Yes," Natalie smiled. "It's nice to finally meet you."
"Lily-flower," Dorcas rubbed her chin bemusedly. "What's with your sister?" Natalie turned to catch a glimpse of the squat brunette thumping her foot impatiently, while sending daggers in Lily's direction.
"Ah, yes," a faint blush worked its way up Lily's neck. "Petunia's been having a bit of a melt down lately. Mum told her I was appointed Head Girl at Hogwarts, and she's been throwing a right little tantrum since." She shrugged, sadly.
"Pity," Dorcas mumbled sardonically. "Come on. If we want a good seat, we need to hurry."
"Yeah, you're right," Lily smiled and turned to her family. "Good bye, Mum," she embraced a lovely rose-cheeked woman.
"Good bye, dear," Mrs. Evans smiled. "Make us proud."
"I will," Lily grinned and pecked her father on the cheek. He smiled warmly, his gray hair glinting in the light.
"Good bye, Mr. and Mrs. Evans!" Dorcas waved hastily. "We hate to leave you here, but we really must go."
Another high toot could be heard in the distance. The train was starting up, and the final stray students were making there way into their compartments. Impulsively, the three girls raced to the entrance, heaving their luggage and packs inside.
"Goodbye!" Lily gave one last wave to her parents as the train chugged away. "I'll see you next break!"
Natalie swallowed apprehensively as the platform drifted from sight. She couldn't believe it. She was going to Hogwarts.
--
The aisle was crowded with eager students hunting for a place to sit. Hardly anyone noticed her and for that Natalie was grateful, but it was all she could do to not get lost in the swarm of animated boys and girls on either side of her.
"Hang on to my shirt," Dorcas called merrily in front of her. "So you don't get lost."
Natalie shoved her bags into one arm and obliged with her request. Anxiously, they pushed through the crowd until coming upon a startlingly clear passageway.
Natalie raised her brows in alarm, "What are they all doing cramped over there?"
"Slughorn," Lily mumbled irately as Dorcas laughed.
"Slughorn is our potions professor," she smiled. "He likes to pick favorites at Hogwarts. Whichever student he finds promising, per say, is related to a famous wizard or has a rich pure-blood family, he invites to his Slug club."
"Slug club?" Natalie muttered, appalled.
Dorcas looked over her shoulder. "His compartment is up there. He's probably having another meeting right now."
"He is," Lily rolled her eyes perceptively.
Dorcas chuckled once again. "Lily is one of Sluggy's favorites. No doubt you were invited to the meeting?" she asked the redhead innocuously.
"Yes," Lily sighed. "But he let me off because I have Head girl duties this evening."
"Oh yeah," Dorcas grinned wildly. "You and James, right?"
"It is only a miracle that Potter was appointed head boy," Lily snapped impulsively. "And you very well know that while the head boy and girl generally work together..."
"You two aren't going to?" Dorcas asked perplexed.
"We are generally an example to Hogwarts just as much as we traditionally work together. Our duty is to the school, and if he doesn't comply with the mandatory rules of the position, why should I?"
"So the great and marvelous Lily Evans will stoop down to his level, will she?" Dorcas whistled impressively.
"You never will grow up will you Dorcas?" Lily sighed dejectedly. "Come on. Let's just find you guys a seat. My head is starting to hurt."
Dorcas shrugged innocently as Natalie forced back a smile.
Most of the compartments were predictably full, but they soon found one that held only a single occupant: a boy with his head absorbed in a book, the same boy that shook Natalie's hand on the platform.
"Why hello, Remus," Dorcas grinned, immediately plopping herself and her luggage on the appending seat. "Mind if we take this spot?"
Remus looked up from his book, a small smile gracing his lips. "Actually, that was Sirius's spot."
"Was it?" Dorcas queried. "Excellent. Natalie sit down," she patted the leather cushion next to her. Natalie took the seat apprehensively, knowing full well they were probably going to be kicked out anyways.
"Come on. Let's go find another compartment," Lily heaved a sigh and repositioned the bags dangling from her arm.
"What ever for?" Dorcas protested. "There are three of us and one of him. Besides, we'd all fit. It's not like any of us are overweight or anything." Dorcas glared specifically at Remus who, at the moment had his legs sprawled across the entire bench. Gloomily, he nodded and moved them to the floor. Lily instantly took the seat and dumped her luggage in relief.
"Thank you Remus," she smiled politely as he buried his face back in the book.
"See, this isn't so bad," Dorcas smiled as she stretched out her arms.
"Just wait until Potter and Black return," Lily grimaced as she reorganized her bags.
Abruptly, the compartment door opened to reveal a short, pudgy blonde boy who froze in discerning the full compartment.
"Why hello, Peter," Dorcas grinned lazily from her seat in the corner.
"Uh… hi, Dorcas," he muttered awkwardly, glancing at the bench Lily and Remus were currently occupying.
Taking the hint, she stood. "I need to go to the Head compartment anyways," she waved innocuously. "See you all later tonight."
"Good bye, Lily," Dorcas fluttered her fingers melodramatically.
Peter took the available seat, his eyes bulging as they landed on Natalie. Quickly, she looked away, shifting in her seat uncomfortably. Dorcas noticed this and openly chuckled. "Peter, this is my friend Natalie. She is coming to Hogwarts with us this year."
"Obviously," a faint mutter could be heard from behind Remus' book while Dorcas rolled her eyes.
"Yes," she said.
"Seventh year?" Peter asked curiously, taking in her appearance.
"Yep," Dorcas grinned excitedly.
"Gryffindor?" Remus lowered his book, his eyes tilted curiously.
"Um," Dorcas suddenly looked horrified. "I don't know."
Natalie bit her lip uncomfortably. She had to be in Gryffindor! She needed to be with Dorcas or she wouldn't survive. This thought had been haunting her for the last couple of days, and she had finally allowed it to surface. It was a horrible feeling. She felt so uncomfortable in this room of strangers. She was the outcast. She didn't belong here.
A sudden pounding of footsteps could be heard outside the compartment door, and Dorcas raised her brows suspiciously. "Now, who do you suppose that is?"
Immediately, the compartment door flew open to reveal two huffing boys. Without so much as a glance at anyone, they entered the room and closed the door.
"Do you reckon he saw where we went?" a dashing grey eyed boy asked.
"I dunno," his friend whispered quietly. He had extremely disheveled black hair and glasses that currently sat lopsided on his nose. Cautiously, he put his ear up to the door and attempted to peak through the crack. Another shuffle of footsteps could be heard in the hall, and everyone remained silent until the noise scurried away.
"Excellent," the first boy chuckled merrily as the outside shuffles waned.
"Sirius, who did you hex this time?" Dorcas groaned, not bothering to keep her voice down. Quickly, the two boys spun around to greet the cackling group behind them.
"Dorcas!" Sirius beamed, his bright grey eyes sparkling as they landed on her. "And who is this?" he queried charmingly when he noticed the newcomer.
"This is Natalie," Dorcas smiled. "Remember? The girl I owled you about…"
"Oh, yeah!" Sirius grinned. "Great to finally meet you."
"You too," Natalie muttered, obviously embarrassed.
"Natalie, this is Sirius Black," Dorcas reached up to nudge him in the arm, "and that there's James Potter, who, by the looks of it, is late for his first ever head boy meeting."
"Crap," the scruffy black haired boy exclaimed as he ran his fingers through his hair. "I gotta go!" he swung the door open. "Nice to meet you, girl." And with that he traipsed into the hallway, cautiously glancing both ways for trespassers.
"Montague had it coming." Sirius chuckled, as Dorcas rolled her eyes. "Hey Pete," Sirius turned to the pudgy boy with a vast grin on his face. "Mind if I have a seat?"
Peter raised his brows aghast but slid over anyways, cramming Remus up against the window.
"Good gracious," he said, repositioning himself in an attempt to get comfortable, his book no longer an interest.
"Ah, we'll be there before you know it," Sirius spread his legs out with a grim smile of satisfaction.
It was one of the longest rides Natalie ever had to endure and being squished in a compartment of strangers made it all the worse.
"So you were home schooled?" Sirius asked as they passed a field of yellow barley.
"Yes," she mumbled, taking her eyes away from the window.
"Did you learn a lot?" the boy named Peter quirked up curiously, and Natalie nodded.
"Loads."
"Mrs. Doge was an Auror," Dorcas smiled impressively to the surrounding group. "Just think of how that would be to be taught by someone like that."
"I believe I've heard of your mother before," Remus rubbed his chin. "Is she the one who took on two full fledged giants attacking the village of Amsterdam last fall?"
"Yes," Natalie blushed with a smile. "My mum was an amazing duelist, and she was very overprotective of me. Didn't want me to leave home to get my schooling done."
"Why did she change her mind?" Sirius asked bewildered as Remus frowned.
"She died," Natalie mumbled her face now clouded in grief.
Dorcas sent death glares in Sirius direction and attempted to change the subject. "Well, I'm exhausted," she slumped back in her seat. "I'm going to try to get some rest before we get there." Natalie nodded her head somberly and leaned back in her seat, sleep threatening to overwhelm her.
A/N: Review! Tell me what was wrong so I can fix it. :)
Dislaimer: Any setting/character and train belongs to Rowling. :)