The Gryffindor common room was ghostly empty, quite the contrary to a few moments ago. The only sources of light were the barely burning fireplace and the bleak shadows of the moonlight illuminating through the windows.
Natalie was absolutely exhausted, but she was too afraid to go back to sleep. Ideas were swarming through her head about her mother's death, and she needed some place to be alone to organize her thoughts.
Quietly, she made herself comfortable on the nearest sofa and gazed out the window at the dark sky. For the longest time, Natalie couldn't comprehend the loss of her mum. She couldn't believe that her sole protector could just vanish and disappear in one lonely night.
Even though she had seen her mother's rigid coffin, it was still so hard, so perplexing, to believe that her whole life could just disappear. Natalie had never known her father, and so Mariel truly was everything to her. If it wasn't for her friendship with Dorcas, Natalie wouldn't have found something worth living for, something precious to even try for.
She had no family anymore, and no guardians except for the kind gestures of Dorcas' parents. Natalie was nearly a legal adult, and when she turned seven-teen, she would have no one.
Natalie let the tears fall as she realized the predicament of her life. Why did all these things have to happen to her? It was so unfair. Why couldn't she have a perfect, alive and healthy, family like other wizards? Oh how she missed her mum!
As Natalie shed her tears, she looked up at the bleak moon as if it could heal her pain. The silence of the night and the slow wave of the trees in the autumn night air began to calm her senses as she had hoped it would.
There wasn't anything she could do to change her past and save her parents from their catastrophic fate, and so she decided it was not worth berating herself over it. The only thing Natalie had power and control over was the future, and the choices she would make to recreate her life. She was the initiator of her destiny, and so it could only be what she curved it to be.
Just then, she saw a faint beam from the tip of someone's wand wandering the grounds outside near the quiditch pitch. 'How odd.' She didn't think students patrolled at this time… In fact, she didn't know students were allowed to go outside after sun down.
The dark figure shuffled slowly to the quiditch stands, and then sat down gracefully on the lowest bench. Gradually, the light from the wand grew larger, illuminating the features of the stranger.
Natalie gaped as she recognized Amelia Prewett, their Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Her thoughts quickly flashed back to her dream. Amelia had been in it, and her mum had saved the professors' life.
Outside at the pitch, the witch pulled open a book and began to read in the stillness of the night. Natalie was completely startled by her choice of comfort. Reading outside at such a late hour could hardly be promising. Natalie watched her curiously for nearly twenty minutes, and then sighed as Professor Prewett lowered her wands' beam and crept back towards the castle.
Natalie had a strange epiphany, and before she could think about what she was doing, she jumped up and ran out of the common room. She raced down the dark corridor, oblivious to possible night patrollers, and crashed to a stop at the Hogwarts doors, waiting for the Professor to enter.
Natalie gasped. 'What in Merlin's name am I doing?' She thought franticly. After a moment of silence, she realized the professor could have already passed by, or maybe she had exited the castle through another door?
Just then, the doors opened to omit the said woman. Natalie gulped as Prewett snapped the doors shut behind her.
"What in Merlin's name are you doing in the halls this late, Miss Doge?" the professor addressed her before even turning around. Natalie was startled by this, and so she began stuttering incoherent words under her breath.
"I'm sorry?" the Defense teacher turned around slowly to shine her wand on Natalie's face. "You do understand that it is against Hogwarts policy for students to wander the corridors after hours."
"Yes, mam," Natalie mumbled, flourished. Why did she even do this in the first place?
"Do you also realize that it can be disconcerting for a professor when a student spies on them as you try to read?" Prewett raised her brow.
Natalie gasped, completely shaken. She had seen her? "I'm so sorry!" she yelped. "You misunderstand my intentions."
"Then please do enlighten me," the woman said icily.
Natalie gulped. "Professor-" she hesitated. "Were you there?" she asked desperately. "Were you there the night my mother died?"
Prewett was taken aback by this question for she did not wish to address the matter so soon.
"Please," Natalie whispered. "I need to put my mind at ease."
The professor lowered her wand and rubbed her temples restlessly. "I was, child," she croaked.
"And how did she die?" Natalie sniffed. Could her dream really be true?
"She died trying to protect her people," Prewett said gallantly. "She died saving the lives of those she loved. She died for you, child."
"The cruciatus?" Natalie asked, but she already knew the answer.
Prewett nodded. "A death eater," she spat. Natalie could feel the tears threatening to spill, and so she just nodded her head in reply.
"I knew you would discover it soon enough," the professor looked away. "Bones and I were the only survivors. We ran for it as soon as your mother was hit. There was nothing we could do. After we returned, we were awarded the Order of Merlin," she chuckled disdainfully.
"We were honored because we survived, and the only reason we did is because we ran away from the danger. The real heroes are the ones who fought for what they believed in. They died to protect the ones they loved. They are the ones who should be honored; not us."
Natalie listened in fascination as the conversation came to a close.
"Your mum saved my life," Prewett smiled softly.
"I know," Natalie whispered wiping the tears on her cheek.
"Get to bed," the professor bid her farewell. "It's late."
"Thank you," Natalie murmured and then quietly strode down the corridor. Surprisingly, she felt much better, but not enough to want to go back to sleep…
---
As the sun glistened through the dormitory windows the next morning, Natalie clambered out of bed in relief and headed for the showers. Her eyes were blotchy red from her lack of sleep, and she had a terrible headache from the previous day's late escapades.
She stayed in the shower for nearly an hour, relishing the warm water running down her back until someone banged on the door.
"Oi!" Ophelia cried from the other side. "Hurry up. I've got to use the loo!"
Natalie sighed and shut off the water, not quite ready to face the day ahead of her.
"Just a second!" she wrapped a towel around her body, and went into the bedroom to get dressed.
"You look dreadful," Ophelia frowned as she emerged from the bathroom.
"Sorry I took so long," Natalie ignored her comment. "I lost track of time."
"No biggy," Ophelia smiled and entered the bathroom with a large towel dangling on her shoulder.
"Good morning," Dorcus grinned, skipping into view. "Classes start soon so you'd best hurry."
"I will," Natalie said, digging through her trunk of dress robes.
"I'll save you a spot at the table," Dorcas stifled a yawn and left the room.
As soon as she was dressed, Natalie ran a thick comb through her hair and pulled it up into a careless ponytail. She grimaced at the dark bags under her eyes but then quickly displaced the thought and sauntered towards the great hall.
She was prepared to ignore all the awkward stares from her fellow boarding students because of her previous embarrassing antics, but as she made her way through the halls, the students, for the most part, hadn't seemed to notice her.
Spying her new friends at the Gryffindor table, Natalie hesitantly sat in the empty space between Dorcas and Lily.
"Good morning," Lily beamed as she took a bite of her breakfast muffin.
"Hey," Natalie smiled; relieved her friend wasn't too put out about the night before.
"So how are you feeling?" Lily asked warily taking in her red eyes.
"Honestly," Natalie glanced around the room. "I feel terrible."
Dorcas chuckled, "You look terrible."
"So, did you say you have nightmares often?" Lily asked, curiously.
"More often than I'd like," Natalie sighed awkwardly.
Lily quirked her brow, "Well, what would you say if I could make them stop? At least temporarily…"
Natalie couldn't believe it. She was so overwhelmingly excited about the prospect; she was nearly lost for wards.
"Well, I don't know!" she laughed. "I'd owe you big time, that's for sure."
"Well, I'm happy to help," Lily grinned, leaning back to her food.
Dorcas chuckled at Natalie's confused look, "Remember the Dreamless Sleep potion?" she smiled gleefully, trying to make a point.
"Oh!" Natalie beamed, happiness lighting up her entire being. The day suddenly seemed allot less frightful.
"No guarantees," Lily mumbled glancing at the Head's table. "Slughorn's got a little soft spot for me, and I'm sure I can talk him into giving me the potion."
"How?" Natalie questioned, her previous worries completely gone. "What will you say to him?"
"Maybe that I need it for some type of educational experiment" Lily frowned, lost in thought, "It wouldn't be a lie. Of course, I could brew it myself, but that would take some time."
"Oh thank you, Lily," Natalie jumped up, squeezing her in a tight embrace. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!"
Lily laughed hugging her back. "It's no big deal," she smiled. "I'd do anything for a friend."
---
Remus watched the new girl jump up and down in pure joy, looking allot better than she did just moments before. Last night had been so… bewildering. He had woken to the sound of her agonizing scream, and when he looked into her grief filled eyes as blood dripped from her hand, it crushed him. He felt for her because he understood her pain.
Remus winced. He knew how it felt to lose someone close to you. It left a large throbbing gap in your heart while a part of your soul always seemed to be missing. An experience like that changed a person. It shaped them into something dejected and discrete. It left you struggling to find your purpose in the world and afraid to accept and be accepted. Yes, Remus knew exactly how that felt.
---
After breakfast, Natalie and Dorcas skipped through the hall towards their next class: Transfiguration.
"McGonagall is our Head of House," Dorcas explained as they entered the room. "She can be a right git when trifled with, but overall, she is quite the lovely lady." She chuckled ruefully.
Natalie scanned the empty seats anxiously, spotting two vacant chairs near the back next to Remus Lupin and his friend Peter Pettigrew. Her cheeks immediately flushed red from embarrassment. Lupin had witnessed her horrific display last night, and as she and Dorcas took the seats next to him, she couldn't prevent the awkward situation that erupted.
"Hi," Pettigrew quirked up as Natalie pulled out her Transfiguration book. "You look a little tired." He said while Remus shot him a glare.
"Yeah," Natalie mumbled uncomfortably in reply.
"James said you had a nightmare?" Peter questioned. "It must have been summit, you were screaming like there was no tomorrow." He chuckled.
"Yeah," Natalie stared at her lap uneasily.
"I'm sure, Peter," Remus spoke up in a grave tone. "That if you had dreamt about the death of a loved one, you certainly would not be laughing."
Peter raised his brow puzzled, and then gaped clumsily at Natalie. "I'm so sorry!" he stammered. "I wasn't trying to be rude; honest."
"I didn't find it offensive in the least," Natalie smiled to make him feel better, although she was silently pleased the subject had finally changed.
Just then, their Professor and Head of House, Minerva McGonagall, entered the room, dress robes flowing elegantly behind her. She plopped a textbook on her desk and then scanned the room, eyes landing on Natalie.
"Miss Doge," she said critically, giving her a stern look. "It has come to my attention that you completed your OWL's at home, is that correct?"
"Yes, Professor," Natalie shuffled anxiously in her seat as the room's attention was now diverted to her.
"Well then, from what the Wizard's Educational Department has provided me with your grades, I presume you are up to adequate standards to partake in various seventh year courses that otherwise prevent students from entering."
"Um," Natalie stuttered, bewildered. "Yes, mam?"
"Welcome to Transfiguration." McGonagall smiled politely.
"Thank you, professor," Natalie couldn't help but grin herself. Perhaps things would turn out better than she had imagined, and for the first time in a long time, she felt at home.