This turned out significantly sadder than I had intended. Go figure.
This takes place after Lewis has been rescued but before they discover that "he" is a she.
Summary: Jervis' day goes well until he realizes something's missing. What could it be? Why can't he think of anything to say? Why isn't Lewis very chatty today? Alice/Jervis, one-sided at the moment, a surprisingly angsty
It had been Jervis' favorite sort of day. The sun was shining and the sky was spectacularly blue, the air soft and fragrant with the newly-sprung flowers. Gotham, a city prone more to sullen shadow than light and openness, was uncharacteristically beautiful, as the scientist could see from his opened window. He didn't generally spend much time outside at all, but he still enjoyed sunny days and the endless opportunity for adventure they evoked. After all, it had been a rare, sunny English day when Alice escaped her lessons to follow the White Rabbit down into Wonderland. Sometimes, Jervis hoped the same would happen for him.
His small window to the outside world was opened and the only noises came from the street below, snatches of the conversations of passerby and the laughter of children. The day had been quiet, overall, without any unwelcome interruptions at all, even from Dr. Cates.
The research had gone easily today, his strong mind absorbing his reading and making annotations on new ideas to modify his outline. He had been quite productive all day, successfully rooting out potential problems and devising solutions for them.
It had been an excellent day. Practically flawless.
But.
Something was missing.
He paused, glancing up from his transistor. What could possibly been missing? He was working hard and feeling productive; he was enjoying the solitude and the beauty of the day. He was fascinated by the work and he making as-yet unheard of progress in his field.
Turning around with a frown, Jervis leaned against the counter and tried to think of what was wrong. His eyes lit upon the teapot on his desk.
Of course! He'd not had a cup of tea with Alice today. Jervis smiled and shook his head. How could he have forgotten?
The beautiful woman had brought him more happiness with her presence than he'd felt in many years and not a day went by that he wasn't happy to have her.
Jervis' hand was on the doorknob when he paused. He couldn't just explode out of his office at random and demand that his secretary take tea with him…he hadn't seen her all day, after all, and it wouldn't do to simply barge over after having neglected her all morning. His blockheaded behavior upon first meeting her still haunted him all these months later, and he wanted her to think of him as a pulled-together, intelligent man, not the quivering schoolboy he'd been upon meeting her. She'd think he was an absolute loony, if she didn't already, if he abruptly appeared after having been locked away all morning.
He tugged at his tie a little bit. She was probably busy, anyway, or perhaps having a conversation with one of the other secretaries. Maybe she even thought he was too busy to be disturbed. He would hate to have her think that he was slacking off when she'd seemed so pleased, yesterday, to hear of the progress he'd been making.
But he did so badly wish to see her! She'd not had to take a sick day, yet, but Jervis wondered how he'd manage to last an entire day without her. He'd never thought he'd ever rely on another person to make him happy, but without Alice, well…he'd feel desperately alone.
He glanced at his watch and smiled again. That was the ticket! It was twelve-thirty; perhaps he could claim to have had a busy morning and invite her to lunch. After all, it wasn't a bit unseemly for two coworkers to take their lunch breaks together. Granted, they'd never had lunch together before and he was her employer, but surely the point still stood. The other employees didn't mind him or what he did a bit anyway, so it wasn't as if gossip would follow them.
But he had to be smooth. If he kept a little distance and stayed calm, he could project an aura of casual approachability. That always seemed to be what other men tried, and perhaps it worked. All he had to do was keep his head and he'd do fine. But what to say?
"Ms. Pleasance, would you…" No, he hadn't called her Ms. Pleasance since her first day. "So, Alice, are you doing..." That seemed rather too abrupt. He probably should address his absence. "Good morning, Alice! Care for a spot of lunch?" Well, it wasn't too bad, perhaps a bit over eager. "Hello, my dear. Would you honor me with--" By the queen, he was going to invite her to lunch, not request her hand in marriage!
Sighing a little, he felt his face heat up in a blush. He'd always had trouble talking to people, but Alice… Well, once he got started with her, he never wanted to stop. It was just that beginning was so dreadfully difficult and he never knew just how to say the right thing to catch her attention. Alice generally initiated their conversations, but he had to step up to the plate on this one. It was either that or let the day go by without seeing her.
Perhaps he was over-thinking his opening line. Their conversations always flowed so naturally once they were begun; maybe he should just go out and greet her. They could chat a little bit and he could let the invitation pop out at the right moment, and damn the phraseology, as long his tongue didn't tie up in nervous knots.
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, squaring his shoulders. He, Jervis Tetch, was going to ask Alice Pleasance to take lunch with him, as friends and colleagues, and he was not going to make a fool of himself. He was going to remain calm.
He turned the door handle and proceeded out. When he was a few feet away from her desk, he began.
"Good day, my dear. How are you this…"
Alice's desk was empty. Jervis let his shoulders droop dejectedly and sighed. How utterly typical. All that worry for nothing.
He had been about to spin around and shut himself back up in his lab when his eye caught on his own name. A light blue piece of paper covered in Alice's neat handwriting lay on the desk. He picked it up.
"Dear Jervis," it read. "Your door was locked when I tried to see you a few minutes ago. I knocked but I didn't get any answer; I guess you've been really busy today! I've gone to lunch at the Café d'Artagnan and, if you get this note in time, I'd be happy to have you come along, if you want. If not, I'll be back at one o'clock.
See you soon!
Yours,
Alice
P.S. How is Lewis today?
12.05 PM"
'Mine,' he thought dreamily, 'I wish.' Realizing what he was thinking, Jervis hurled the paper back to the abyss from whence it came and beat a retreat to his office with all haste.
'Control yourself, you foul cur! She is your secretary, and a good fifteen years younger than you!' The scientist leaned against his closed door, pinching the bridge of his nose. 'Friends. JUST friends. And lucky to have that!'
Perhaps he was being a bit harsh on himself, but it really was absolutely appalling. Imagine, him, an antisocial, unattractive middle aged man entertaining romantic thoughts of a fantastic beauty such as Ms. Pleasance! It would've been laughable if it wasn't utterly pathetic.
What did he expect, anyway? He'd never get up the courage to follow her to lunch, but he could imagine it, easily. On a day like this, Alice would probably choose to sit outside, at a table in the sunshine. Her legs crossed like the lady she was, she would sit in a cast iron garden chair with all the delicacy and grace she possessed when sliding into the worn, wooden chair at her desk. In the sun, her hair would glow golden and probably be brushed over one shoulder in a cascade of light. Maybe she would be reading a little paperback something, a cup of tea sitting beside her. She'd certainly attract many an interested glance; would she smile back at them, invite them to sit with her? Or—he indulged himself a moment—perhaps she would ignore them all, even glancing up and down the street every now and again, waiting to see if he would come by. That, he could imagine, as well: she'd see him, raise a slim hand in a cheerful wave. She'd smiled one of her radiant pink smiles at him and the twinkle of pleasure would reach up into her cerulean eyes. She'd try to wave him into the seat beside her, but he'd stay standing, for the moment, long enough to give her a one-armed embrace and press a soft kiss just below her temple—
'Stop it, Tetch!' He "thunk"ed the back of his head against the door. Blast it all, it was getting too easy to imagine these preposterous events. He felt utterly filthy, imagining such things about the angelic Alice Pleasance. The poor thing probably hadn't any idea, or so he hoped; he was sure she'd be terrified if she knew he harbored as mad a thing as the tender pash for her.
Sighing, Jervis looked over at the aquarium which had once held the ape brain he'd used for his preliminary study. Now, it was the home of a white mouse Alice had found scuttling over her ankles. The mouse, an incredibly fat little thing, was happily trotting on its wheel. The scientist wandered over to the cage and observed that the creature's food dish was empty.
"You're a very lucky mouse, Lewis, to have someone like Alice doting on you and looking out for you," he said, reaching into a cabinet over the tank to get a handful of pellets, which the secretary had brought in to feed the mouse. "I'd not have remembered to check your food if she hadn't brought it up."
The pellets dropped into the bowl and Jervis leaned down to rest on his elbows, watching the mouse. "In fact, you'd be right back where you started, probably on a dissection table, if I'd had my way. But she wouldn't have it at all. She has a soft spot for helpless things, I suppose."
Lewis hopped off the wheel and sniffed the pellets, picking one up in his forepaws and nibbling it. "Alice is right about one thing, I suppose. You seem to be a smart little beast. Looking right at me as if you were contributing to the conversation. Nibble 'while you think of what to say; it saves time,' I suppose.
"I shall let you in on something, Lewis, but only if you solemnly swear not to bring it up. I have every faith in your discretion, of course, but I shall need to hear it from you." Lewis soundlessly finished his pellet and licked his paws, which Jervis took to be a good sign. "Very well, then.
"You and I are quite in the same position with dear Alice, aren't we? She's rather gifted at caring about mice like men and making men into mice. I shan't go into how she and I first met; a man must have some secrets, kept even from the staunchest members of order Rodentia. But the point stands that helpless chaps like us would be utterly adrift with nothing to look forward to but screaming and experiments without her, what?
"She's quite gentle and friendly, isn't she? I'm sure she was very careful not to hurt you when you surprised her by touching her ankles, you lucky thing. Er. Well, I mean 'lucky' in that she didn't step on you for it," he began to explain, until he remembered that he didn't exactly need to fear suspicion from a mouse. "Well, no, I mean lucky in that you got to be so near to her. I cannot manage it without looking like an absolute fool. You may have noticed that she's quite lovely, by human standards, although I'm sure you'd prefer that she had large ears and a tail."
He chuckled softly at that. It was an absurd, but rather cute, image. "She wouldn't make a very good Dormouse, I'm afraid, because she never falls asleep when others are talking; she always pays such flattering attention. Did you know she even tried to do a little research on her own to find out what I'm up to all day in here? Said she couldn't understand it, the dear girl, and asked me for help. That's never happened to me before, where someone wanted something explained instead of just given.
"Perhaps she would be a good March Hare? She's marvelous good company, but very sensible and organized. Not a word of reproach to people barging in on her, either. I wonder if she puts up with a lot of that from the other secretaries. She does seem to always be running errands. Of course, we don't spend every waking moment together, so I suppose that's rather out, too.
"Ah. It's rather a moot point. Alice is just charming and curious and…well, wonderful. She's just an Alice, through and through." Jervis smiled at Lewis, nodding as if receiving agreement.
A dreamy sigh floated up from his shoulders and lingered in the air, hovering about in the flower-scented breeze for a few sweet moments until it was brought back down to earth with a small, sad noise.
"And I am a perverted old man."
Jervis pushed himself away from the tank and brushed his hands down his coat, dusting the immaculate white front.
"Talking to a rodent about your secretary! And in such terms! 'Off with your head,' Jervis Tetch, as if you could keep it long enough for it to be removed!" He pressed the tips of his fingers firmly against his closed eyes.
This was hopeless, an embarrassing mistake, a child's 'crush' aching inside the chest of a man. Oh, he didn't want to think about her this way, not when he had a face card's chance at croquet with her. It was impossible, utterly impossible, and yet here he was. All his life he'd been alone, and at he first show of interest and affection—why, he'd pull out his still-beating heart for her, drag the moon from the sky, be absolutely anyone, if it would please her.
But it wasn't, after all, that she was discontent. It wasn't that he was in some way lacking. One couldn't lack what one had never had.
The smiles she would wear for her true love would never be directed to him. Even if the ties of another's love never bound her, she was untouchable, an angel and a goddess.
Jervis suddenly wished he had something to break, to bite into. This tension in his was close to making all his tendons snap; the crisp feeling of frustration and sorrow tightened throughout his body. He felt as if he could crush a beaker in one hand.
Instead, he poured a cup of cold tea and stared out the window, his jaw clenched and throat convulsing around a lump of inadequacy.
"Jervis?" More knocking. "Jervis, are you in there?"
The scientist had reluctantly gone back to his research, although the cheerful buzz from the morning had waned considerably. Now, he fidgeted, wondering if it would be better to just ignore her.
"Jervis? Are you all right? Can you hear me?"
Oh, that sweet voice calling his name… He shook himself and responded.
"Oh, Alice? Is that you?"
"Yes!"
"Please, come in!"
"The door's locked, Jervis."
He made his way over and opened the door. There she stood, a small tray in her hands with two cups of tea, a bowl of sugar, and a small carton of cream. She was as radiant as he pictured her, although there was a slight tilt to her eyebrows as she looked at him, concerned.
"Terribly sorry, my dear. I'm afraid I've been rather immersed all day." He led her over to the counter beside Lewis.
"No problem…are you sure you're feeling okay? You look a little upset." She handed him a cup and saucer and leaned a little closer to get a good look at him. He forced his features into a small smile and tried to ignore his racing heart.
"Quite all right, my dear. Thinking sad thoughts, as one is wont to do."
"Do you want to talk about it?" Her eyes were on him, but her hands were busy, dropping a small amount of cream into her own tea cup.
"Just. Ah…no, no need, just female troubles, really. I mean, not that I have any, or that they have any, really, but that I have troubles regarding females. Not that it's any fault of theirs, you see." Marvelous. He really knew how to impress her.
"You sure you don't need help? It sounds like it's really troubling you." What a ministering angel.
"Well," he flushed, "no, I don't think it'd be really a good idea. It's rather awkward."
"It usually is," she said, sounding somber as she sipped her tea.
"I just don't know what she (the female, I mean) thinks of me. You see?" He should really consider seeing a doctor about diarrhea of the mouth. 'Stop talking about this right now before you really embarrass yourself.'
"If she knows you at all, she probably thinks quite highly of you," Alice replied. He took a sip of steaming tea, more to fill his mouth and clear his head with pain than to quench any thirst. "After all, you're a fascinating man." He watched as she peered at him out of the corners of her eyes.
"All right, all right. Sorry, Jervis," she dipped her head, smiling sheepishly. "I'll let you alone about it. But I'm always here if you need me."
"Oh, never worry about that, my dear. Your interest is flattering." He took another gulp of tea and briefly considered trying to drown himself in his cup. This was more painful than brooding alone had been. But who could ever want a more perfect, innocent torturer?
"Lewis!" Alice exclaimed, changing the subject to focus on the little mouse. "Sorry, little guy, I've been ignoring you! I saved something really extra-special for you from my lunch." She pulled a carrot stick out of her pocket and dangled it over the mouse's cage.
The white mouse's attention was instantly focused on Alice's hand and the creature stood on its back legs with its front paws pressed against the glass, staring yearningly at the tempting tuber.
Jervis held the last of the scalding tea in his mouth and watched as the secretary held the rodent's heart's most desperate desire over his tank, hopelessly out of reach but no less wanted. She wouldn't tease the mouse long, but for the moment, he and Lewis were definitely in the same boat when it came to Alice.
A/N: See what I mean? It's hard to have feelings for someone who "walks ten miles over" you, especially if she if young and beautiful and perfect and you're you.
Well, there's always one random angsty chapter, isn't there?