Warning: RANT AHEAD! My dear readers, I wish I could turn off anonymous reviews. I can't take the bashing and insults anymore. I will either have to start moderating reviews or stop writing altogether. I literally get stressed out over the negative reviews, thanks to having chronic anxiety. I'm the type of writer that takes people's reviews and suggestions to heart. This story has changed direction so many times based on suggestions and reading what people would like to see. I like that part of writing, it's like we're writing the story together. Here is a confession… I am HUMAN. Really. Seriously, I am! And guess what? I make mistakes! Honestly! I sometimes screw up monumentally! Even in my writing. I know, it's crazy, but it's true. For instance in this story, I have contradicted myself a couple of times in regards to Kurt's experience with another Dom/sub couple and apparently with his mom and Burt. If you've ever written a multi-chapter story, you probably know that after many chapters and thousands of words, if you don't update yourself on what you've written, contradictions are a fact of writing. I don't edit my writing to the extreme. I typically read the prior chapter and move on from there with my notes and plot points. I know us writers are supposed to be perfect and error-free, but shockingly, that isn't always the case. So. If you don't like my story or if I make some horrendous mistake that is so offensive, STOP READING!
For those of you who give critiques written among kind words, I thank you. I do take your suggestions seriously. For those who review lovingly, thank you from the bottom of my beaten down heart. One review caught my attention, and I used her idea in this chapter. Thanks, I wish you'd left your name!
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Kurt spent the next week on himself. He relaxed and did what he wanted to do, not what anyone told him to do. He shopped with Tina, after getting permission from Mike, went to dinner with Sugar, and turned down offers of prayer meetings with Joe. His circle of friends had certainly shrunk after being outed as a sub. But the friends he did have were good and true friends, now that he really gave them a chance.
Kurt also decided it was time to study the lives of Doms and subs. He remembered the couple he had spent time with who had had the type of relationship Blaine obviously wanted. He remembered keeping notes on the topic in a notebook somewhere. After digging through the trunk at the end of his bed, he found the tattered composition book. Thumbing through it, he read the early information he'd gotten on the topic of Soulmates and subs.
"Soulmates were the most important thing in society. The fear of prison or retaliation kept people from harming Soulmates, especially subs.
Subs were cherished and loved by their Doms. They were cared for and most times pampered. In return, the sub supported and encouraged their Dom, served them, made themselves available at any time for sexual intercourse or anything else the Dom wanted or needed. Subs were never abused as it would physically and mentally scar the Dom for the rest of their life. The few cases of sub abuse were dealt with by the death penalty, fatal retaliation from the subs family, or even suicide. However, though abuse wasn't tolerated, punishment was not just tolerated but expected. Subs were to behave in a manner set forth by their Dom. If they misbehaved, they were to be chastised. Chastisements were anything from lectures to 'grounding' to spankings and in extreme behavior problems, whipped.
From the age of sixteen forward, everyone was on the lookout for their Soulmate. Every day you would see people shaking hands, touching fingers, even the not-so-subtle high five. It was known that once you touched the hand of your Soulmate, you would find their name written into your band. If you met your Soulmate before the age of eighteen, you were free to move in with your Dom and their family or just the Dom. No permission was needed from the parents. Even if the sub was unwilling or scared for some reason, they were still to follow where their Dom went. Banks would grant home loans to Soulmates under eighteen, though you were likely to have interest rates through the roof. Most underage Soulmates stayed with the Dom's family until high school graduation or age eighteen, whichever came first."
Reading over the words, he remembered anew why he hated what he was. He would never be able to live that kind of life. To look to someone else to be told how to live or act. It would be impossible. He didn't even feel that stirring in his soul that some people said subs would feel. Especially after having met their Dom Soulmate. The only time he'd ever felt a submissive emotion was when Blaine had forced him to kneel. The position had calmed him better than a coffee and long bath with a copy of Vogue. He wouldn't give anymore thought to it than that.
Getting on the computer, he typed in 'modern submissives'. From there he jotted down notes and thoughts that people had. These days subs weren't always expected to stay at home and wait for their beloved Dom to return home each day. Subs went to work, got their education, had their own ideas. Life and living was more about loving your Soulmate and helping them live their best life. Schools were starting to adapt these new theories and ideas and incorporate them into normal curriculum. Some states, New York, Washington, California, among others, were no longer teaching classes specified to subs and Doms, instead teaching them how to live together in love and unity. Leaning on each other in love. Other states, like Ohio, much like gay rights, was stuck in the dark ages and were set on keeping Doms and subs apart. There were subs in Washington, Kurt read, who were living alone, despite having met their Soulmate. They didn't agree with the title of subs and weren't ready or accepting of having a Soulmate, so they didn't. They simply lived their lives as they always had intended. No harm done, no world tragedy.
Kurt's head was spinning. What were his options? Especially living in a state that existed in the dark ages. Why did Blaine think it was okay to try and Dom Kurt to death, when Jeff and apparently many
others, believed differently? He couldn't wrap his head around any of it. So he said screw it. Screw the whole situation. He wanted to concentrate on him.
He closed his notebook and his compute, grabbed his sketchbook and returned to the Lima Bean. He got himself a nonfat mocha, a muffin, and sat down at his favorite table. The lighting was perfect for sketching the designs that constantly danced through his head. That first day he spent no less than four hours at the Lima Bean, and nearly twenty dollars on coffee, sketching the entire time. He hadn't been so relaxed and in his own element in what seemed like forever.
When he went to bed that night, he did so with a smile. Life was finally getting back to normal.
Several days later, he was back once again, sipping coffee and sketching a French inspired three quarter length blazer, and wondering what he would pair it with when a shadow leaned over his table.
"I do believe you would pair those with a straight legged jean," a smooth voice said.
Looking up, Kurt smiled into a pair of deep green eyes. "Really? I was thinking a skinny jean," Kurt replied, pleased with the comment the boy had made.
The boy slid into the seat across from him, his light brown hair flying in different directions as he wiped his hand through it. "Nah, a skinny jean would make the jacket too bulky looking," he replied.
"Not if it was fitted right and buttoned up," Kurt disagreed lightly. He adjusted his sketch to show what he meant, adding in a swift drawing of a skinny jean. "See?"
The other boy nodded, smiling in admiration. "I do, indeed. Very nice,?" he hinted.
"Kurt Hummel," he said with a smile.
"Sebastian Smythe, a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Do you come here often, Kurt Hummel?" Sebastian asked.
"Probably more than is healthy," Kurt admitted. "It seems to be one of the few places I can sketch properly, despite the noise."
"Mm, I can see that. I do my best thinking in my car, usually while doing ninety miles per hour on the freeway," Sebastian told him.
"Are you always suicidal?" Kurt asked with a grin.
"Only when I'm behind the wheel apparently," Sebastian said back with a wink.
Oh my god, Kurt thought, he's flirting! With me!
"Well, you seem like a nice guy, so maybe you should slow down," Kurt advised, a light blush on his cheeks.
"Maybe you should give me your number. The whole blushing thing? Super hot," Sebastian said with a cocky grin. He held his phone out to Kurt.
Kurt thought about it for a whole second before he traded phones with the other boy. He was intriguing and Kurt had to admit, he hadn't been intrigued in a long while. Not since he'd first met…, well, that line of thought wouldn't end pleasantly, so he let it go.
"Well, future designer, Kurt Hummel. I will text you later. It was nice meeting you. It would be even nicer if I met you here tomorrow around the same time," Sebastian hinted, his eyes sparkling green.
Kurt was drawn into those green eyes. "Um, yeah, uh, sure," he stammered. "Sounds good," he said, trying to get his stomach to stop jumping.
"Like I said, super hot," Sebastian said with a wink. He turned and strode gracefully out of the building. Kurt recognized the sound of a V8 engine roaring to life before hearing it squeal out of the parking lot. Kurt grinned and couldn't help but hope that Sebastian made it home okay. He didn't know where home was for the other boy, maybe he would find that out the next day.
He was driving home when a thought occurred to him. Would meeting Sebastian at the Lima Bean, mean it was a date? What constituted a date anyway? He had no experience with this. He settled himself with the thought that it was just two people ending up in the same place at the same time. Even if one of them was tall and hot with those gorgeous green eyes. The boy was definitely a snob, but there was something about him that Kurt liked. He couldn't help the smile that lingered on his lips the rest of the day. That evening, his phone dinged to let him know a text had come in.
From Sebastian: I'm thinking of wearing a navy blazer tomorrow with jeans to meet this guy who is super hot. What do you think?
To Sebastian: I don't know. Navy? You would do better to stick with blacks and grays to be able to pair with jewel toned shirts. It'll bring out your eyes.
From Sebastian: My eyes, huh? You noticed my eyes?
Kurt blushed, reading the text. He guessed he wasn't supposed to have done that. But those sparkling green eyes had stood out, capturing Kurt's attention. He couldn't help it.
To Sebastian: Sue me, I notice things like that.
From Sebastian: No need to get touchy. If you have a crush on me, you can admit it.
To Sebastian: How big is your head, exactly?
From Sebastian: Which one?
Oh my god! Kurt blushed so hard his entire head felt hot. He could not believe this guy!
To Sebastian: You are unbelievable.
From Sebastian: I know. Gotta love me!
To Sebastian: We'll see about that.
Kurt caught his breath again, realizing what he'd just texted back. He was flirting back!
From Sebastian: I guess we will. Goodnight blue eyes.
To Sebastian: Goodnight.
Kurt grinned, seeing that Sebastian had noted his eye color as well. Flirting felt good. Harmless, but good. Now that he knew who his Soulmate was, he had no reason to fear getting to know people. He had no reason to slip on the gloves and pretend he was a germaphobe just to keep himself safe. Now he was free to befriend or talk to whomever he wanted to.
His phone beeped and he grinned as he looked down. His grin died as he read the text.
From Blaine: Thinking of you and hoping you are doing well. Please text any time, if you want.
Shit, did this mean he was cheating? Blaine technically was his Soulmate, but at the moment, Kurt was not in an actual relationship with him. So where did that leave him morally? Kurt shrugged. Screw it. He was having fun, just harmless fun. He typed out a quick text before turning his phone off and getting ready for bed.
To Blaine: I am fine.
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Sorry for the short chapter. That's all I have in me for now. Stay with me as I try to straighten out the contradictions in the story. Thanks for any and all reviews. If you have the desire to leave a nasty review… Don't.