*four years later*
Dear Diary,
Everything is so different. I feel so strange. Last year changed everything, and I wish I could go back and stop it all from happening. Maybe if I try hard enough, I can pretend it all never happened.
I've been putting some thought to what happened at the ministry last year. I thought I was with friends. I thought he were just going to go save Sirius, and then go back to the castle. But that's not what happened, not what happened at all.
I'm tired of the images repeating in my head. How they forgot about me. How I needed help, close to death, and they didn't come to save me.
It was a failure. And I learned who my true friends are. No one.
I'm starting to wish I could be someone else, anyone but myself.
Ginny closes my diary and wipes her soft cheeks. The tears are slow and soft, gently sliding down.
I've been watching her, watching her grow and mature. Watching her learn and feel pain. Watching her realize just how this world really is. She is no longer naïve, simply tired.
Ginny lays down in her Gryffindor bed and covers herself up to her chin, wrapping herself in a cocoon. I continue to watch her.
She's fifteen now and very different from her eleven year old self. I remember it all well, her first year at Hogwarts. Where she had been passed my diary and I began to use her. But I had not realized myself as I got to know her by her writings. Watching her on a daily basis. And then seeing all that I was doing to her. She was too young to understand, she did not realize all that was happening around her. Ginny was a soft hearted girl. And now she's hurting and angry.
I can understand why. Being the youngest in her family has not done her any service. An over-controlling mother with unrealistic expectations, multiple brothers to look up at and walk in their shadows. No true role model.
Ginny as written to me once a week for the past four years. What she has told me, what she has trusted me with, things that I could never imagine people doing to her, and putting her through.
Her first year, when I took advantage of her and had her begin to help me open the chamber of secrets. It slowly began to terrorize me how much she was hurting. And now she's hurting and I can't stop it.