Ch. 20.
Did I just really confess this to Maxon?! No, I couldn't have. God America you cannot keep your moth shut can you? I think to myself
"I'm glad," he starts "to hear that, cause I love you too."
I almost melt then and there.
"Well, I don't know what to say. I mean remember nothing of what happened. So how can I go and say that?" I ask myself out loud.
"I'm not sure. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that If you didn't remember. It's not fair to you" he says.
"I just wish I could remember so I can know why I don't want to be with you." I say helplessly
"You will soon I'm sure. And when you do" he chuckles "you'll decide you do want to be with me but won't want to go because it's not fair to Josh, who has treated you correctly. And me i was the one who blew it by not believing you."
"What?" I say laughing because I'm now very confused.
"Nothing, too confusing you won't get. Too many things you don't remember."
"Okay" I say
"Okay" he says back
I don't say anything else until he sighs
and stands up.
"I should probably go so you can get ready for the ball." He says walking to the door. "See you tonight."
And with that he's gone.
Moments later I call my maids and we chat as we begin getting me ready.
"There!" Mary squeals as she finishes the finishing touches in my hair and make-up.
"Can I see now?" I ask impatiently.
"Maybe" Lucy says
"Come on, show her" Anne says finally
"Ok..." Lucy says spinning me towards a mirror "ta da!"
"Oh my god!' I nearly yell. I don't know how but they somehow made me look even more stunning then usual.
My hair tumbles over my shoulders in soft, strong curls. They then pinned a diamond looking headband on top of my head, like a crown. My makeup for once isn't as light either. They've done a soft smokey shadow on my eyelids, with gold glitter around my eyes. making the blue color of them pop. I have a light trace of blush on my cheeks and a deep red on my lips.
"You honestly look stunning" Anne says.
"Well, I only have you to thank" I say sincerely.
"Why don't we get you dress" she says as Mary and Lucy run off to get my dress from my closet.
"Ok" I say walking over to where I'll need to be to get changed.
When they pull it out, I'm absolutely breath-taken.
The dress is two different shades of gold. The top is a sleeveless, sweetheart neckline that is gold and pure sparkles. That part drops into a frilly skirt made out of a satiny like material. The skirt is big,but not too big. The dress is absolutely gorgeous. P
"What do you think?" Mary asks when I finish getting it on.
"I-I love it" I manage out. Not to be vain, but I look astounding in this dress.
"I'm glad you do." Lucy giggles.
"You look amazing, America" I hear a different voice say.
I spin to see Theo, the one who saved me.
"Oh thank you" I say.
"Well, the ball has started and I was wondering if you wanted me to walk you down?" He asks.
"Of course." I say. I start to walk over to him when Anne clears her throat behind me.
"Yes?" I ask spinning around.
"Your shoes" she says smiling brightly.
"Oh yes! My shoes! How could I forget. Can't go without my shoes." I mumble as I walk over to them and retrieve my white heels.
I slip them on and thank them again, before running out the door with theo.
"So" he says "remember anything else?"
"If I did, would I be so helpless?" I ask.
"I guess not, but really not anything?" He says
"Nope, not unless someone has told me it" I say.
"Oh" he says "well lets hope you get it back soon."
"Yes" I say. There's a long silence before he speaks again.
"What do you think About Josh and Maxon?"
This question for some reason really catches me off guard. .
"Oh well I guess I like them. There both really sweet" I say.
"No, what do you really, deeply think about them" he asks
I look up at him. I look at his tight jawline and tanned skin, I look at the dusting of a beard on him as if he hasn't shaved in a few days.
I look at him and realize I must've adored him. As if he were my older brother here to protect me. I think I can trust him, with the words I've been dying to tell someone.
"Well" I start. "I really, really like Maxon"
"I can see" he says with a huge grin.
"Shut up" I say playfully hitting his shoulder. "I mean he's so kind,and sweet, and handsome, and smart and just enchanting."
"Mmhm" he says encouraging me to go on. So I do
"And he tells me things like, I don't think you'll think that once you remember."
"Well you never know." He says "and josh?"
"I don't really know about Josh I mean he's cute and sweet and all, but I don't feel much there."
"Ah I see" he says
"Hey why do you want to know so bad?" I ask.
"Just want to keep up with my friend" he says punching my shoulder
"Oh" I mumble
"And..." He says
"And?" I ask back.
"Your gonna have to make a choice soon. Your going to remember eventually and then you'll have to choose which you really, should I say love." He says. He's right. Soon I'll remember all those feelings I have for them all the feelings I'm missing. And I'm going to have to make a choice. I'm gonna have to choose who I want to be with.
"Any words of advice?" I ask as we approach the doors to the grand ballroom
"Love is a tricky thing, a ruthless game unless you play it good and right. So all I can say is follow you heart. That should lead you to where you want to be" he says and without another word walks through the doors towards the grand ballroom, taking me with him.
As soon as we walk through the doors some people stare, others stop talking and begin to whisper and others simply ignore us.
"What are they looking at?" I ask Theo. "oh my god is there something on my face?" I turn to him with question in my eyes.
"No, you look perfect that's why. Your blowing them all away" he says making me blush.
"Thanks, I mean you look good too" I almost laugh "any girl would want to dance with you"
"Oh is that so?" He says raising an eyebrow
"Yea, if you went and asked anyone of them Im sure they'd say yes" I say
"Then would you like to dance?" He says but before I can answer he pulls me onto the dance floor.
"You can get back to your lives now" Theo says as he begins to twirl me around the floor.
Nobody's performing yet, only the band playing music.
"So" theo says. "When are you performing?"
"Well, " I say "I'm not sure"
"What do you mean?" He gasps "Effie didn't tell you?" Now I can tell he's making a joke about Effie.
"No, I'm afraid not. That never came up in the conversation. " I say back.
"Well, trust me you'll now. I guess you'll just be surprised." He says "I should probably let you go find her then and get ready"
"Yea, I'll see you around." I say as we let go of each other, and I begin in my search of Effie.
I look around a while but fall into a seat defeated after not finding her.
I look around and see many people have came in but no Maxon or Josh.
"Hmm" I think to myself "where are they at?"
"Wine?" I'm asked suddenly. I jump, a little shocked from the voice. I look up and see a smiling waiter.
"Oh uh sure" I say. They hand me a glass filled with a deep red liquid, right from the middle of the tray i set it down automatically not appealed by the smell of it.
The waiter gives me a wicked smile before walking away into the kitchen.
I sit there a while longer. I'm a bit bored now. I look around and I see Maxon has come in.
I get up and begin my way over to him, only to stop. He's asked Celeste to dance. Celeste.
"Okay" I say turning around and beginning to walk back to my seat. When I make it back I take a long look at that wine glass. I choose not to drink it, or anything else because I get drunk pretty easily and I do not want to be drunk when I preform.
"America" I hear.
"Hmm?" I say spinning in my chair. "Oh hi Josh."
"Hello" he says "is this seat taken?" He asks
"Oh no, as you can see I'm not a people person" I say using my hands to show him no one is around me.
"Oh I don't exactly think that's true." He says laughing slightly. I watch as his strong jaw moves as he talks. His golden hair moving with him. His piercing green eyes and perfectly sculpted nose.
"I do" I mumble.
We sit in silence for a while. Then I say
"Tell me about yourself."
"What do you mean?" He asks.
"Like you. Tell me about what you really are" I say
"Oh ok" he says laughing nervously. "Well for one thing I love my family" he starts
"I do too"
"Ya, I'd do anything for them. Their basically my life. I don't know what I'd do without them" he says
"I think I'd die for my family" I say knowing every word is true.
"I would too" he says and I know he means it too.
"So what else?" I ask
"I also like dogs" he says. I let out a laugh.
"Really?" I ask
"Yes" he says joining me in laughter. "I do"
"Why don't I ever see you with any then?" I ask.
"Well first off you might've and just don't remember and secondly because I do but he's not Aloud out of my room when there are guests" he says.
"Oh" I say "think I can ever see him?" I ask.
"Yea sure." He says "when would you like to meet him?"
"Now would be fine" I say very serious.
"Oh if you have nothing else to do" he says
"Does it look like I do?" I say making us both laugh.
"I suppose not, but we must go quick. I still have to make my rounds" he says standing up.
"Of course your highness" I say standing with him.
He grabs my arm and whispers in my ear
"You know I don't like being called that"
"I suppose the me that remember would" I say back with him obviously forgetting of my amnesia
"Oh yes" he whispers "then No need for that name calling bullshit"
I just laugh as he leads me to his room.
When we get there he opens his door and walks in first. I Hear a little bark and when I walk in a see a little white fur ball coming at me.
"Whoa!" I yell as the dog jumps up on me.
"Don't worry he's harmless" josh says
"Aww he's so cute" I say as I bend down and begin petting him. "What's his name?"
"Lenny" he says "I named him after my great uncle Lenard"
"How sweet" I say scooping Lenny into my arms. And rubbing his ears
"He loves people." He says
"I can tell."
I look around and see his room and just like any typical room, little personality showing.
We play with Lenny for a little while before deciding to go back down to the ball in case somebody needs one of us.
When we get back down there finally I see Maxon is now dancing with Elise. Wonder if he's gotten to dance with Natalie yet.
I see him looking around also and when his eyes lock with mine he seems to relax. He throws me a casual smile. I try to give him a sweet smile back but don't know how it comes out since my heart is soaring.
"I'm going to go make my rounds" josh says " I'll see you later?" He asks
"Of course" I say waking back to my table.
Moments later Maxon Is next to me.
"Oh" I say "weren't you busy dancing?" I ask
"Not anymore" he says sitting down right where Josh just had.
"Okay" I say looking out into the crowd of people who seem so happy
"You look absolutely breathtaking" he says. I feel the fire of a blush cross my cheeks.
'He probably said that to them too.' I can't help but think
"Thanks" I manage out.
"I only speak the truth" he says
"Oh really?" I ask questioningly
"Of course" he says
I give him a pointed look
"Okay well most the time"
"That's more like it" I say smiling knowing that's more true than what he said before.
"So" he says "what did you and josh go do?" He looks down
"He showed me his puppy" I say.
"How cute" he says surprisingly sincerely.
"What did you do with them" I ask
"Who?" He ask back
"The selected" I say.
"Oh we just danced" he says
"Cool" I say and then as if he realized something he says
"No, I have too. So it doesn't look bad or anything"
"Oh" I say not sure if I should believe this.
"See if you didn't have amnesia you would know I always save you till last, so I can dance with you the most without worrying about any of them." He says reaching over and touching my hand.
"Oh I didn't know that" I say. His thumb caresses my palm
"I know" he says "best for last"
I can't help but smile at this.
"Thanks I guess" I says blushing madly
"Yea, would you like to dance?" He asks.
"Oh most defiantly" I say jumping up with him.
We barely walk two feet before I see a frantic Effie run up to us.
"Oh dear where have you been? Your on next." She says
"Oh, I'm sorry I was just wondering about when I was going" I say
"Yes, yes sorry to ruin this dance on you two but the crowd is getting bored of the band. And our other singer got sick." She says frantically.
"Oh my" I mumble.
"So if you don't mind me stealing her away" Effie says looking at Maxon
"Oh no of course, I'll get her later then." He say and I can't help but notice the sound of disappointment thick in his voice.
"Thank you your highness" she says pulling me away.
I look back at Maxon and see him looking right at me I mouth 'I'm sorry' and he just laughs before giving me a thumbs up and mouthing 'its okay good luck'
I'm pulled back behind the stage. Man this place is huge.
"Okay" Effie starts "everything is set up, we'll go announce you then your on."
"Okay" i say beginning to grow nervous.
"Don't worry you'll be great. It's just a bunch if families." She says
Yea. Royal families.
"Are you ready?" She asks
"I
guess" I say back.
"Then lets go' she says walking onto the stage.
"Ladies, gentlemen. Welcome to the 74th annual Christmas ball." She starts
Wow. There's been 74?
"We'd like to start you with our female singer tonight since our male singer is sick and will not be able to make it." She says "America singer"
Applause.
"She recently suffered major amnesia after a terrible accident with what seemed to be rebels. Can we give a quick round of applause to her rescuer, Mr. Theo James?" She says
Huge applause now for Theo. I even hear a few whistles.
" She's spent a long time re-memorizing her own lyrics, which she has written entirely by herself. So lets give a warm welcome to Miss America Singer" she blares through the microphone.
I hear applause and I see Effie appear at the top of the steps.
"Come on don't be shy." She says giving me her hand. "Imagine it as our crew again"
I take her hand as she helps me up the stares in my gown and heels.
"Thanks" I say as I walk towards the microphone. Suddenly my nervousness is gone.
"Hi" I start. I look out and see Maxon's smiling face.
"I'm going to be singing a song I wrote called 'enchanted' its a little more up beat. So be prepared to dance" I say making many people laugh slightly.
"I still can't believe I wrote this" i say as I point to the band motioning for them to begin playing.
They starts playing the beautiful music and soon enough Im singing.
"There I was again tonight
Forcing laughter, faking smiles
Same old tired lonely place
Walls of insincerity,
Shifting eyes and vacancy
Vanished when I saw your face
All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you"
Suddenly I see visions of me laughing and kissing Maxon in a garden
"Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?"
Across the room your silhouette
Starts to make its way to me
The playful conversation starts
Counter all your quick remarks
Like passing notes in secrecy
And it was enchanting to meet you
All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you"
I see me and Maxon screaming and fighting
"This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you"
I see me crying a lot, alone.
"The lingering question kept me up
2 AM, who do you love?
I wonder 'til I'm wide awake
And now I'm pacing back and forth
Wishing you were at my door
I'd open up and you would say, "Hey,
It was enchanting to meet you,
All I know is I was enchanted to meet you."
I see me and remember the feelings of wondering where Maxon's heart lies.
"This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you"
I remember kriss and her lies and Theo and josh and me leaving
"This is me praying that
This was the very first page
Not where the story line ends
My thoughts will echo your name
Until I see you again
These are the words I held back
As I was leaving too soon
I was enchanted to meet you"
I remember being with Josh.
"Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you
Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you"
I remember everything.
"This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you
Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you"
I finish out and there is humongous applause.
"Well America that was beautiful." Effie says coming back on stage. I'm in shock going over everything in my head I suddenly remember again.
"Would you mind performing another?" She asks
"Yes" I barely squeak out. I need to get Maxon to know I know, I remember.
"Now you don't mind?" Effie says to the audience.
"Of course not" and " no lets go America!" Is what she gets in reply.
"Well then, lets leave it to America then" she says walking off stage.
I know what I'll sing, it'll tell Maxon right away. It was the song he only knows about, I wrote it for him. He's the only one that's heard it.
I walk over and grab an acoustic guitar.
'Well this is going to be hard' I think looking down at my gown. Oh well
I spin to the band
"This is something new just go with me." I say.
They look at each other worried. But then nod there heads
I sing
"His eyes are like a jungle
He smiles, it's like the radio
He whispers songs into my window
In words that nobody knows
There's pretty girls on every corner
That watch him as he's walking home
Saying, does he know
Will you ever know?
You're beautiful, every little piece, love
Don't you know, you're really gonna be someone
Ask anyone
And when you find everything you looked for
I hope your life leads you back to my door
Oh, but if it don't, stay beautiful
He finds another way to be
The highlight of my day
I'm taking pictures with my mind
So I can save 'em for a rainy day
It's hard to make a conversation
When he's taking my breath away
I should say
'Hey, by the way'
You're beautiful, every little piece, love
Don't you know, you're really gonna be someone
Ask anyone
And when you find everything you looked for
I hope your life leads you back to my door
Oh, but if it don't, stay beautiful
If you and I are a story
That never gets told
If what you are is a daydream
I'll never get to hold, at least you'll know
You're beautiful, every little piece, love
Don't you know, you're really gonna be someone
Ask anyone
And when you find everything you looked for
I hope your life leads you back to my front door
Oh, but if it don't
Will you stay beautiful
A beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful
A beautiful, beautiful?
Oh, but if it don't
Stay beautiful
Stay beautiful"
The band kept up well and when I look at Maxon he's so confused.
I run off stage and meet him half way.
"What? What? America?!" He ask frantically
I pull him out the door and to privacy.
"I remember" I say when we're finally alone.
"Really?" He asks
"Yes everything" I say "that's why I sang that song to try and show you." I finish and I see he now understands.
"Oh my god America" he says wrapping me in a hug.
We stay that way for a moment before I pull away. I look into his deep brown eyes and finally realize how much I've missed him.
And before I know what I'm doing I reach up and kiss him.
He's shocked at first. I can tell by the way he tenses up. But he finally kisses back too.
And we stay like that for a while.
Just kissing.
A/n
Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. And HAPPY NEW YEAR! First chapter of 2015. Awesome.
Anyways I'm thinking of writing another story, but can't think of a title. Hmmm
So ya I'll update as soon as possible.
Luv ya all
Bye
DISCLAIMER:all rights go to Kiera Cass for writing and owning the selection trilogy and to Taylor Swift for the songs/quotes I use! Also to Veronica Roth I use a character of hers and some quotes. And also now to Suzanne Collins for some characters and quotes I use!