What A Family Does
disclaimer: M7 characters belong to MGM, Trilogy and Mirisch, no copyright infringement is intended
this story was my response to a Challenge on the Magnificent Seven Challenge list issued by Bern-- to take the first three paragraphs(ending at Vin's shout) and finish the story.
Ezra Standish pressed the gun harder against the suspect's left temple. An evil smile crossed his features as he pulled the trigger. He knew the chamber was empty, he had checked it himself.
The sound of a gunshot exploded around the room. Blood splattered across Ezra's face. He stood in shock, staring down at the man he had just killed.
"Ezra!" Vin yelled at him, "What in the hell have you done?"
Standish staggered back a step, his eyes large with panic. He didn't hear Vin's shout or the laughter emanating from the sidelines of the training course.
"This isn't a live round session, Standish!" Larabee's voice went unheard as Ezra continued to stare at the ruined dummy on the ground in front of him.
Vin approached slowly, casting angry looks at the members of Team Two, still laughing at the incident. It was a joke, Tanner realized. They'd filled the dummy's head with ketchup and raw hamburger; he could smell it now. He knew Ezra had checked his weapon before the session, he'd watched him. Someone must have slipped in a live round during the safety lecture.
"Idiots." Josiah moved in beside him, mumbling in a low growl. "Someone could have gotten seriously hurt."
Vin nodded. "You okay, Ezra?" he asked the still silent undercover agent. "Ez?" He reached out and grasped Standish's elbow when he didn't get a response.
Ezra jerked away from the touch, his eyes darting fearfully around the room.
"You alright, Brother?" Josiah's concern immediately drowned out his earlier anger.
Standish backed away another step; his eyes flitted down quickly to the mess on the floor and then back up to his teammates. He made no move to wipe away the splattered ketchup or meat from his face or ruined clothing, he just stared blankly. "H- He's dead," he whispered, gagging on his own words.
Vin and Josiah exchanged a worried look as Josiah slowly eased next to Ezra again. He kept his voice hushed and calm. "It's only a mannequin, Son. It's not real."
Ezra shook his head, his weapon slipping from deadened fingers and clattering loudly to the floor. All he could see was the explosion of red, everywhere. It coated him, choking and smothering him. He gagged again, his legs suddenly giving way.
Sanchez caught Ezra as he went down, holding him as he began to retch.
"What the hell is going on?" Larabee stormed onto the course, having come down from the control booth. Nathan, Buck and JD weren't far behind him. "You know this is a safe course, Ezra! Are you trying to kill somebody?" he ranted as he walked but stopped short when he saw Josiah supporting a violently ill Standish, and wished he could swallow back his last words.
Nathan hurried past him and knelt on the other side of Ezra. "What's wrong with him?" he asked, immediately trying to assess the situation.
Vin pointed viciously to Team Two, still chuckling but trying-and failing- to look serious. "Those assholes…" he was too angry to finish the accusation, instead he turned and directed his fury at Chris. "He checked his gun before we came out here, Larabee. I was there. He wasn't being careless. Someone put a live round in and rigged the dummy." His tone dared his friend to disagree with him.
"Okay, easy Vin." Buck looked between the two, playing mediator. "Nobody's gonna write him up for it, right Chris?"
Larabee nodded. "Right," he spit out. He cast a deadly glare at the other team, his anger growing as he redirected it. Standish may not be a favorite in the bureau but he was a solid part of Team Seven and they protected their own. With the rumors that haunted Standish's past, an incident like this could put a permanent black mark on his record. Chris was determined that was not going to happen.
"What's wrong with him?" JD's question brought Chris' focus back to his agent.
Nathan and Josiah still knelt on either side of Ezra, supporting him as he continued to dry heave. Jackson looked up at them. "Buck, JD-get something for us to clean him up with, now!" The urgency in his voice spurred the other two into immediate action.
Nathan tightened his grip on Ezra as the smaller man began to tremble uncontrollably. "Damn it," he muttered, wrapping his hand around Ezra's wrist.
"What is it?" Josiah asked, resting one hand on the back of Ezra's bowed head. The heaves seemed to be tapering off now.
"I think he's going into shock," the medic admitted quietly.
"Ezra." Josiah tried to get a response from his young friend but Standish seemed to pull in on himself. "It was a joke, Ezra," he intoned urgently. "A very bad joke. No one's hurt, no one's dead."
Ezra stiffened abruptly and sat back on his heels, his arms wrapping tight around his chest as he shook his head. "He's dead," he repeated without inflection. "He's dead."
Vin ran a hand through his hair and looked up at Larabee again. "What's happening, Chris? Why's he reacting this way?"
"I don't know." Chris answered honestly. Ezra was normally pretty unflappable, granted this had caught the southerner off guard but Chris would have expected indignation and fury once the initial reaction wore off- not a complete breakdown and shock. "Go back to the office for me," he told Vin. "Get a hold of Travis and let him know what happened so he hears it from us first."
Vin looked hesitantly towards Ezra but knew Chris was right, they needed to get to Travis before anyone else did. "Let me know…" he looked back at Chris.
"I will."
He passed Buck and JD as they came back into the room. Both of them carried an armload of wet and dry towels they'd snatched from the locker room. Mitchell Ayers, leader of Team Two, followed them, along with two of his men. Jenkins and Harris carried a bucket of sudsy water and a mop.
Chris caught the rage in Buck's eyes despite the wink the ladies' man threw in his direction. "I recruited some help for the clean up."
Larabee nodded knowingly. He hadn't seen the confrontation but he knew Buck and was positive that these were the chagrined culprits of the humorless joke.
"Larabee," Ayers greeted him tersely. "My apologies. Jenkins and Harris here have owned up to loading Standish's weapon and rigging the target."
"It was just a joke, man," Jenkins looked up at him, obviously thinking he'd understand.
Chris grabbed the agent by the collar and pulled him close. "Do I look like I'm laughing?" he growled.
"N-no sir."
He jerked Jenkins again, forcing him to look at the mess and at his four men taking care of Ezra. "Nobody," he emphasized with another shake, "is laughing," he hissed, releasing the man with a small shove. Jenkins stumbled and then slid in the gook that coated the floor causing him to go down on one knee. He cringed as the gore splashed up on him and shivered in spite of himself. "Clean it up and get out of my sight." Chris ordered and went to join the rest of his team.
Josiah and Nathan had managed to move Ezra clear of the initial mess and the resulting sickness. Buck and JD stood protectively in front of the trio while Nathan gently cleaned the sticky residue from Ezra's face and head the best he could. Josiah continued to hold his unresponsive friend, whispering a never-ending stream of calming words and seeking to reassure Ezra that it hadn't been real.
"How's he doing?" Chris asked, torn by the sight of his strong-minded friend trembling before him.
"I don't know, Chris." Nathan shook his head, sighing heavily. "We need to get him out of here and away from that." He motioned to the destroyed dummy. "Need to get him cleaned up good."
"Let's take him to the showers then," Chris said. "Get him someplace private."
Vin paced in front of Orrin Travis' desk, waiting for the superior to get off of the phone and finish their conversation. Travis had been outraged when he'd been told what happened. He knew Standish had the tendency, on occasion, to goof off during the normal training sessions but he also knew that the southerner was extremely conscientious about safety. He'd have never knowingly taken a loaded weapon onto a training course that didn't call for one.
"Alright, yes. Thank you." Travis hung up the phone and rested his elbows on his desk as Tanner turned to look at him. "Sorry about that, the rumor mill is kicking into gear. Thank Chris for sending you to me directly."
Vin nodded, "yes sir."
Orrin frowned and rubbed his forehead. "How's Ezra? You said he was reacting badly to the incident?"
"That's an understatement," Vin told him. "Nathan's afraid he's going into shock. He sort of froze up right after…and then he was puking his lunch up and shaking all over. Josiah kept trying to tell him it wasn't real but it's like he's not even there to hear any of us." Vin dropped heavily into one of the chairs opposite Travis' elaborate desk.
"Damn." Travis leaned back and turned his chair half sideways, gazing out the window with a far away look that immediately raised the hairs on the back of Vin's neck.
"What?"
Travis merely looked at him.
"What do you know?" Vin asked, jumping back to his feet. "You know something," he accused.
Orrin looked down at his hands, avoiding eye contact.
At the silent admission, Vin sank wearily back into the chair. "Orrin," he pleaded, his fear rising. "Please."
Travis sighed and looked up, his gaze focused over Tanner's head. "It happened back in Atlanta," he said finally.
"What?" Vin questioned. "Chris had read his file…there wasn't anything close…"
"Not all of his psych file," Travis interrupted.
Vin's blue eyes widened. "What do you mean?
"It's confidential, Vin."
"That's bullshit, sir. How come you know?"
Travis smiled in spite of the disrespect. "I see all the files, reports and evaluations. You know that."
"You've got to tell us, Orrin." Vin insisted. "We need to help him." He watched as Travis struggled with the decision, wrestling the laws of confidentiality against he need to help one of his agents.
"It was on his second undercover case." Travis made up his mind, leaning forward again. "It went bad during the bust. His cover wasn't blown but the man he was taking down grabbed one of the raiding agents and held a gun to his head. Ezra was moving in to intervene when the shot was fired, close range. Pretty much blew the agent's brains out."
"And Ezra?" Vin prodded.
"Was standing right there. He caught the brunt of the blow in the face."
"Shit." Vin looked down and studied the pattern on the carpet, unable to imagine what it would be like to wipe someone's brain matter from your face.
"Ezra held up as well as could be expected according to the psych report. They were low staffed so they cleared him but the doctor noted a couple of concerns. He thought Standish was burying the whole incident, not really facing it. Ezra felt like he should have been able to do more, blamed himself."
"He's damn good at that." Vin smiled weakly. "No one accused Ezra did they?"
"No, it was before all that mess," Travis told him.
"What was the agent's name?" Vin asked as he stood up.
"Kent Taylor, they'd gone through the academy together."
God, there was so much blood, so much. Ezra couldn't see anything but the red. He felt the hands tending to him but made no acknowledgment of their presence. He flinched as the warm water hit his skin but let himself be maneuvered under it. Didn't they realize they couldn't wash it away? It never went away. A soft cloth brushed his face and strong fingers massaged his scalp. Soap ran down his face, stinging his eyes but the pain was insignificant. He deserved it.
The water disappeared and he shivered with its absence. Someone wrapped him in something warm and dry. He heard the voice repeating over and over again that it wasn't real but he knew the truth, he'd been there. He'd seen it; he'd let it happen. He'd let him die. It was real and it was his fault.
Chris watched with growing fear as Josiah pressed a pair of jeans into Ezra's hands and instructed him to put them on. Standish stared at the pants until Josiah repeated himself. Moving slowly, Ezra began to dress.
"God, Chris. What's wrong with him?" JD knew he'd asked the question a half a dozen times already, but he couldn't remember ever seeing Ezra so out of it, so unanimated…so complacent.
"Wish I knew," Chris answered; watching Nathan help Standish button his shirt. Ezra's hands fell limply to his sides as he let Jackson take over completely. "Let's get him upstairs," he said; swallowing his emotion and turning away from the haunted look in his agent's eyes.
Vin was waiting for them when they entered the office.
"You talk to Travis?" Chris asked as they watched Josiah and Buck steer Ezra into Chris' office and gently settle him on the couch.
"Yeah." Tanner didn't take his eyes off his Ezra as he quickly recounted his conversation with their commanding officer.
"Damn him." Nathan flinched as Chris directed an angry glare at him. "For hiding everything, Chris," he tried to explain. "He's been holding the memories of that in for years…burying it all."
"Until now," JD added softly. "It's like it happened all over again, ain't it?" He looked p at the older men, the expressions on their faces answering his question.
"He say anything yet?" Vin questioned.
Chris shook his head, but Tanner was already moving into inner the office.
Josiah sat on the couch beside Ezra, not touching him. Buck stood a few feet away, facing the window, tense with frustrated with his inability to help.
Vin squatted in front of Ezra. "Hey Ez? I know you're in there. I need you to listen to me," he began softly. "It wasn't your fault you know," he pronounced clearly.
Ezra didn't acknowledge him but his hands began to move as he frantically dug at one arm with his fingers.
Vin reached up and grabbed both of Standish's hands, holding tightly in case he attempted to pull away. "Kent's death wasn't your fault, Ezra."
Looking up sharply, Ezra's eyes glazed over with emotion. He suddenly looked so young and lost that it caught Vin off guard for a minute. "I couldn't stop it." The hoarse whisper startled everyone. "I couldn't stop it," Ezra repeated.
"No, you couldn't, Ez. No one could have." Vin watched as his friend crumbled in front of him, unable to hold in the horror of the past any longer. Sobs silently wracked his body as he bent over in agony. Tanner shifted to his knees as Ezra rested his head on their hands. He could feel the tears seeping through their fingers and knew there was nothing he could say to ease the pain…so he just held on.
When Ezra opened his eyes, he was disoriented to find he'd been sleeping on the couch in Chris' office. Absently he wondered where the blanket had come from as he pushed himself up and glances around the room. It was dark save for the one desk lamp. It took him a minute to process why he was there and then the events of earlier crashed back down on him with staggering clarity.
He remembered joking with Vin while they were setting up the training course. Jenkins, from Team Two had been heckling them and had laughingly accused him of being incapable of looking completely ruthless so he'd grabbed the main suspect dummy and pressed his gun against it's head. He remembered pulling the trigger and then everything after that was a barrage of memories. He remembered Kent.
Slowly he pushed himself to his feet and walked across the quiet office. He paused with his hand on the doorknob, taking a deep breath to prepare himself to face the others before he opened it.
They were all there, no judgment in their eyes when they turned to look at him, only concern.
"Hey Ezra," JD greeted with a relieved smile. "How're you feeling?"
He started to brush the question aside with a standard 'I'm fine' answer but stopped himself. "A bit rough, Mr. Dunne." He looked at Chris. "Am I under any reprimand for destroying bureau property? I seem to remember a long lecture on the astronomical price of those life-like mannequins."
Chris chuckled, "No. Jenkins and Harris were behind the whole thing. It'll come out of their hide."
"Wish that was literal," Buck muttered. Ezra raised an eyebrow at the ladies' man but didn't comment.
"Think you're up for dinner?" Nathan asked.
He frowned, remembering earlier. "Maybe. You didn't have to wait." He shifted uncomfortably with the knowledge that they were there at this hour because of him.
"We know. We wanted to." Buck smiled as they collectively moved toward the door.
"If you need to talk or anything…" Josiah murmured quietly, moving in close and grabbing Ezra's neck in a gentle grip. The movement spurred a flash of images in Ezra's mind. Someone holding him, someone bathing and dressing him. Someone holding his hands while he cried…making it safe for him to remember. They'd made it safe for him to let go.
"Ezra?"
He looked up suddenly, realizing that everyone had stopped and were watching him with renewed concerned. "You didn't have to…" his voice broke and he looked at the floor as he sought to control his emotions.
"We wanted to," Vin reminded softly.
"It's what a family does," Chris added.
Ezra swallowed hard and nodded. His control restored, he looked up again and managed a weak but genuine smile. "Thank you."