Still not sure were I'm going with this but if you like please review will give me a nudge to continue :)
"Oh Maria have I have done the right thing?" Michelle gripped the coffee mug tightly in her hands and willed the tears to stop falling I must look a state mascara tracks down my face and red rings round my eyes.
"Michelle love if you didn't want to be away from home it never would have lasted" Maria felt like they had been going round in circles for the last hour but she did feel desperately sorry for her sister in law sat next to her looking like her world had ended all while sitting in what should have been her wedding dress. Maria's heart broke at how desperately sorry Michelle looked.
"Well made my decision now if I don't like it well I'll have lump it no turning back" Michelle wiped her eyes stood up and made her way over to the sink picking her bag up as she went."Thanks for the tea and sympathy Maria."
"And where do you think you are going? You're perfectly welcome to stop ere you know"
"I know love and thanks but I think I'll just go back to Carla's I'll feel more at ease I've been living there the past few weeks so it should feel like home"
Maria smiled she knew Michelle was right and if Maria was honest with herself she didn't really have the room for another lodger no matter how temporary. Poor Kirk had already been kicked out once and she didn't really want to make him feel like he had to leave again, last time was in unfortunate circumstances no one could have predicted. "Chelle how's Carla seemed since she got back?"
Michelle slowly leant back on the kitchen worktop "I don't know really" at seeing the shocked look on Maria's face Michelle quickly continued "Well before we were talking bout Ciaran and the only chance I had to speak to her was in the pub. I felt guilty about leaving her so soon after her getting back but she assured me she was ok she was feeling more optimistic."
Maria sighed gently "Chelle you know after the rape she was completely broken and I don't just mean at first. Even after the suicide attempt she was once again on the steady decline no matter how many times she told me or Peter that it was a wakeup call coming round in that hospital I don't believe she ever really improved she just learnt to cover it up better"
Michelle sighed and slowly made her way back over to the couch "I wished she would have phoned me at least told me when it had happened. At the factory when I coaxed from her what that monster had done she told me so matter of factly like it was an everyday occurrence. Even in the flat afterwards when I told her how strong she was and she corrected me saying she felt she was close to cracking she said it so emotionlessly I just presumed she was burying everything. I thought some sun, fun and getting away would bring some life back to her".
Maria smiled gently at Michelle and moved closer so that their knees were touching. "Oh Chelle you definitely did what you thought was best and I think the trip will have done Carla a world of good I'm just worried now she's back. Back to the flat she was raped in back to the life she feels frightened in."
Maria stood up, grabbed her coat and made for the door "Don't worry Maria I'll be sticking to her like glue from now on like I told her before I've lost too many people that are special to me there's no way I'm letting our Carla down".
Even with all the lights on the space around her still seemed to be teeming with shadows large enough to hide in, dark enough to conceal a man. Carla's eyes darted round wildly as she mentally checked each corner over and over again. Carla had known tonight was going to be hard that was half the reason she had stocked up on a couple of bottles from Dev's that and the fact that she just wanted to forget about Michelle leaving.
This is what it's going to be like you know his voice was once again whispering in her head every night you'll be too scared to eat, too scared to sleep because the minute you let your guard down I'll be back. Back to take from you what's mine.
"NO NO STOP PLEASE STOP" She wailed, the words forcefully ripped from her throat echoing around the flat, she clutched wildly at her head and rocked back and forth willing his voice to leave her.
I'll never leave I'll make you relieve that moment over and over again how I forcefully took what was mine to take. No man will ever look at you again!
Carla drained the last of the vodka and struggled to pull herself up from the floor. Staggering into the bathroom she caught sight of herself in the mirror. Gone was the cocksure confident woman now she had been replaced with a cowering wreck. Carla took in her blood shot eyes and waxy complexion her hands shook as she poked her fingers to the large black bags marring the underside of her eyes. Now her makeup had partially washed off due to tears she could really see the person underneath. Even though she had only arrived back from LA a few hours earlier it already felt like days. Her reflection in the mirror had gone back to its defeated state and Carla knew in that moment that it was never going to change.
She was slowly going to rot in this flat wasting away on the remaining booze never leaving. Let's be honest she thought no one would know, no one is going to check how the queen bitch Carla Connor is coping. Once again Carla thought of Michelle and her heart ached for her she needed someone to comfort her take away all the pain she couldn't have Peter and now she couldn't have Michelle. The two people she needed most in the world were happy living their own lives while Carla was stuck in limbo the never ending taunts of Frank Foster ringing in her ears.