Last Time on Unlock My Heart:
You are still my teenage dream, Kurt, you always will be. Enjoy each day you are given and live it to the absolute fullest. I will still be here loving you every single moment of every day.
I love you, baby.
Love, Blaine.
. . . . . . . . .
Kurt was trying to decide if he was going to bounce off the walls with excess energy or spend an hour vomiting in the bathroom. The day had finally came when he was singing a solo with the band. They had decided, and he had whole heartedly agreed, that he would sing duets and back up for Elliot until they were all comfortable. They had sat down after their first gig together and went through songs that Kurt would do well singing on his own. After deciding on the song, Kurt had begun practicing. Now, a month later, they had actually planned the entire set list around the song he was singing. It wasn't an exceptionally hard song, but he was determined to do his very best. He had rehearsed it until he felt like his vocal cords would bleed. Then he'd sung it for Elliot, then Sam, then Max, and finally Dani had smacked him upside the head and told him to get it together. That had been during their third guitar lesson. Well. Lesson attempt. Kurt had turned out to be quite pathetic at the instrument. He could hand sew a handkerchief hem with his eyes closed, but placing his fingers just right to play the chords on a guitar? Yeah, not so much. Dani had finally given up on him and told him to stick to roadie detail. He was perfectly fine with that. Give him heavy lifting and a million cords to untangle over a damn guitar any day.
Elliot, sweet Elliot, had thought maybe it was his teacher and had brought over Chinese food one night to spend time teaching him. It only took him an hour to realize Dani had been overly generous with the amount of time she had spent with him. That spelled the end of the guitar fiasco. Sam had then crashed their dinner and mocked Kurt relentlessly about the whole situation. He then told her at least he could reach to the top shelf where the wine glasses were kept and she promptly kicked him in the shin.
Sam and Elliot had quickly become his best friends. The best friends he had ever had if he was honest. He swore he and Sam shared a brain. They had begun referring to themselves as Mind Twins because they tended to have the same opinion on most topics. They could finish each other's sentences at times which tended to creep the whole band out. They enjoyed it and had a great time ragging on each other and making fun of everyone around them, knowing that nobody could possibly be as fabulous as they were. Elliot was his best friend in a deeper, more emotional, way. It wasn't serious all the time or anything, they just got each other in a more profound way than anyone else. Elliot understood things inside Kurt that even he didn't understand.
That night with the Chinese and guitar lesson had changed their friendship and taken it to a level Kurt had never anticipated. With his Mind Twin there, the experience bonded the three together in ways that would never be able to be broken.
Kurt had noticed early on that, like ninety nine percent of New Yorkers, the Ideal Misfits kept their Marks covered. Kurt had whispered his question about soul mates to his Mind Twin, and he discovered that yes, Sam's boyfriend, Joseph, was her Soul Mate. They had been together for two years after meeting at a country club where Sam, at sixteen, was working as a waitress. After they had gotten to know one another, Joseph had asked her to move in with him in a strictly non-sexual agreement. The Dom had found out that Sam's father was verbally abusive and neglectful and had wanted her away from the situation. He had helped her get through high school as he finished college. When it came time for her to apply to colleges, she had dragged her heels. Joseph had suggested she take a year off to just 'be', to live and explore her love of photography in New York. She had happily jumped on the offer for him to fund her year of being a free spirit. They would take weekends together and explore new areas of the city, looking for the next amazing thing that she could capture with her ever-present camera. Now Kurt got to enjoy tagging along on some of their jaunts and found himself the unwilling subject of too many of Sam's photos.
Max, he discovered, had recently broken up with a girlfriend. Though he was sad about it and a bit stung over being dumped, he wasn't completely miserable. Dani had a mad crush on a local barista but refused to ask him out. Kurt still wasn't sure if she was a sub or Dom. While Sam hadn't minded sharing her story with him, it was quietly accepted that they did not discuss the other band member's personal lives. Elliot was the only one who didn't have a current anything. No boyfriend or soul mate, at least as far as anyone knew. He was certain the man was a Dom, but even that hadn't been confirmed. Until the night of the Chinese dinner.
After the mocking over Kurt's epic guitar fail had finally ended, they had put in a movie and the three snuggled together on the couch. Apparently Elliot knew Sam's personal situation as she had slipped her band off with her coat when she'd arrived. Part way through the movie, Elliot began rubbing at his band, trying to scratch through it. Finally, Kurt heard a whispered 'fuck it', and Elliot slipped his band off with a contented sigh as he scratched at the itchy area. He tried to keep his eyes averted, he really did, but he failed. As he'd suspected, Elliot was a Dom, his key bright against his skin. What he'd had no way of knowing was that he and Elliot had more than one thing in common. Unable to contain his gasp, he saw that Elliot's key was broken clean through. Unlike his, however, the break was a straight line, not jagged.
"What the hell is wrong with your Mark?" Sam the Sensitive and Subtle, demanded.
"Subtle, Burke," Elliot snarked, calling her by her last name.
"Well, I am sorry, but I have never seen a broken Mark before," Sam said. "I know it isn't any of my business and I'm sorry I busted out like that. Just ignore me. Let's watch the movie."
"It's okay if you have questions," Elliot said gently. "I don't mind. I don't offer the information, but it's nothing I'm ashamed of."
Kurt questioned himself. Was he ashamed? Was that why he still hadn't told his friends about Blaine? They knew he'd left a bad situation and that he was from the Midwest. That was it. Everything else in their friendship was based on what they had built since he moved. He just wasn't ready. He had almost blown it with Max that one night in the bar after he'd joined the band. But true to his word, Max had never brought it up again. Part of him wanted to take his wrist cuff off and show Elliot that he wasn't alone, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Besides it was clear that Elliot had a story to share and he deserved Kurt's full attention.
"Well, you have a soul mate, right? But something happened?" Sam asked, feeling hesitant and embarrassed now.
"I do and yes," Elliot answered.
Kurt could see grief deep in Elliot's beautiful gray eyes and his stomach sank. He knew this wasn't going to be a happy ending.
"I met Declan when I was fifteen. He was eighteen, his family and he were from Ireland. He had the cutest accent. He was working at my Dad's garage. I went to help out one afternoon and handed Dec a wrench and that's when we discovered we were soul mates. We kept it platonic and just got to know each other and became friends. When I was about halfway through junior year in high school, we became boyfriends and became fully Claimed. It was amazing, like the kind of true love you read about in romance novels," Elliot said, a sweet smile curving his lips.
Kurt noted the comment about his dad owning a garage and decided to mention it later as something they had in common. He could share that much.
"Declan moved in with us the summer between junior and senior year because our house was bigger and was closer to the garage," Elliot recounted. His eyes grew dim and he rubbed his thumb over the split in his Mark. "A few months after he moved in, I uh," he cleared his throat several times. "My mom came and got me from school. One of the car lifts at the garage collapsed." Sam and Kurt gasped, hands to their mouths. "He was partially crushed and went into a coma," his voice cracked and Kurt took his hand.
"You don't have to continue," Kurt whispered, tears streaming down his face.
Elliot gave him a soft smile and squeezed his hand. "It's okay. It's just been a while since I've told the story. His family included me on the decision of whether or not to stop life support on Dec since he was in the coma for almost six months and he wasn't showing signs of brain activity. I couldn't handle it. Nobody should have to make that decision about their soul mate," he said, his voice breaking.
Sam gave a quiet whimper, thinking of her Joseph, and soon all three of them were holding hands, tears falling.
"His family finally stopped the life support and he died in minutes. I was holding him in my arms. I remember while he was in the coma, I started getting so weak because I couldn't gain strength from him through our bond because his body was shut down. I knew the moment he was really gone," Elliot's throat worked as he tried to swallow. "I knew he was gone because I felt better. Better than I had in months because I didn't need his energy anymore because he was gone. Do you have any idea how that felt? My soul mate, my other half dies and my body felt relief!" Elliot broke down and Kurt brought him into his arms and held him, rocking him slowly. His sobs were quiet, but deep with pain that was still very strong. Doing the math, Kurt knew it had been around three years, but figured when it came to the loss of a loved one, like his dad, the pain would never be fully gone.
Sam disappeared for a few minutes and returned with a tray of mugs filled with tea and a box of tissues. Kurt smiled at her gratefully, both of them still crying silently with their friend. Sam sat down and rubbed Elliot's back until he sat up and blew his nose.
"I'm sure Declan is so proud of you, Elliot," she said quietly, her lilac eyes bright.
Elliot grinned weakly. "I was gone for so long at first, just not me anymore. I couldn't function. I stopped singing altogether. I wrote songs but couldn't do anything with them. I had to repeat my senior year in high school because I wasn't able to concentrate on what I was supposed to be doing. My nana helped pull me out of it. She reminded me how much Dec loved his Starchild and he'd wanted me to 'go rule the feckin' world'. That really pushed me to start working on myself. Three years later, here I am, ruling the feckin' world," he said with a bad Irish accent, and a brave smile. Kurt admired so much in that moment. To carry on after such a tragedy. Next to his dad, Elliot was the strongest man he'd ever met.
"Do you have a picture of him?" Sam asked.
"I do," Elliot said and pulled his phone out. He pulled up a picture and showed them a picture of the two together. Declan Murphy was a good looking guy. He was much shorter than Elliot, probably more than half a foot shorter. He was stocky with auburn hair and a goatee.
"He is cute," Kurt commented honestly. The man had a warm glow about him that screamed mischief and fun. He also looked very much in love.
"And tiny, and that's saying something coming from me," Sam said, commenting on her five foot one inch frame.
"He was about five foot six. He was the perfect little spoon," Elliot said, tracing his finger down the picture.
"I bet he was. Elliot, I am so very sorry for your loss. There really are no words, but I am sorry," Kurt said. He wanted to have the perfect platitudes for his friend, but really, what can you say to someone who has lost the other half of their soul?
"Thank you, Kurt," Elliot said and hugged him. Then he hugged Sam and they sat there quietyly enjoying their tea.
Kurt struggled to figure out a way to change the subject to something happier. Then Sam struck.
"So, did you guys see that guy with the hard on at the coffee shop yesterday?" she asked loudly.
"What?" Kurt gawked at her.
"Come on, you can't say you didn't notice. He was standing by the counter where the straws and shit are you know? He either had a hard on or a freakin' Godzilla sized banana down his pants," she said, holding her hands out to show just how large.
They all broke out laughing and Elliot pulled his wrist band back on, effectively shutting off that conversation and the friends moved on with their evening. After that, they were closer than ever even though they never spoke of the topic again.
. . . . . . .
Kurt decided bouncing off the walls was good enough for the eve of his first solo performance for Ideal Misfits. He tried on his outfit again before taking it off, convinced he was going to spill something on it or some horrible wrinkle would appear out of thin air, completely ruining the whole look. And he had to look perfect. He was singing center stage. Elliot was going to be his back-up singer. His! Oh god, he thought, making barfing was the way to go, and ran towards the bathroom.
He was leaning against the sink, pleading with his body to not give in to the nausea when he saw a shadow at the door to the bathroom.
"Ginger tea, just how you like it," Elliot said, holding out a mug and smiling at him sympathetically. "It'll help settle your stomach."
Kurt took it gratefully. "Thank you," he said and took a slow sip, humming in delight.
"Drink that up while I bag up your outfit for tonight. You're going to hang out with me until show time," Elliot said, heading toward Kurt's bedroom.
Kurt felt like he should decline and tell Elliot to stay away from his clothes, but he couldn't do it. The relief was too much. He loved knowing Elliot could take control of the situation and keep Kurt from freaking out for the next several hours.
"Just be careful with the pants, the hemming was a pain in the ass and I don't want to have to redo it," he called out. He packed up some toiletries, figuring he'd probably ask to crash on Elliot's pull out couch because he'd be too amped up after the show to come back home alone. He would ask later, though, just in case Elliot had to say no. No need starting off the evening being disappointed.
"Are these the pants you got the A on in class?" Elliot asked.
"They are! Can you believe it? The old battle ax gave me a perfect grade," he responded, coming into his room with the tea and his bag. His sewing teacher was so picky with grades, getting a perfect grade was nearly impossible. Or had been until now.
"They are amazing," Elliot said, looking closely at the stitching. "You did a really good job, Kurt, you should be proud of yourself," he said, giving him a warm smile.
Kurt felt like he was glowing from the inside out. "Thank you. I am pretty proud of them. I just hope they don't unravel during our set."
Elliot rolled his eyes and put the pants in the garment bag with the black button down he'd paired it with. They gathered up the last few items Kurt needed and headed out.
. . . . . . . .
Several hours later, the band was hugging in a large circle, with Dani just having finished up their normal pre-show pep talk. They were in front of a familiar crowd at The Liquid Kitty. They'd performed here around ten times, twice since Kurt had come along. The club owners had been in talks of offering them a regular gig with an increased paycheck. Tonight they were due to have their answer. No pressure on Kurt, he thought sarcastically.
"So Porcelain, go out there, kick ass, and most important?" Sam said, with a shit eating grin.
"What's that?" Kurt asked hesitantly.
"Don't fuck up!" she said with a grin and a slap on his back. For such a small woman, damn did she hit hard! And so inspirational!
"Damn, 'cause that was exactly what I was planning on doing!" he returned, bumping his hip into her. "Simmer down, shorty, and don't you fuck up during my solo!"
She grinned at him and flipped him off.
They started their set list off with a couple of crowd favorites. Kurt and Elliot shared the lead, working the crowd up with their musical chemistry. They seemed to have a magical ability to draw the crowd in and keep them eating out of the palms of their hands. It was more fun than Kurt had ever had.
Finally, his turn was up. Dani moved to the violin she'd brought with her and Elliot grabbed his electric guitar.
"And now, for his Ideal Misfits solo premier, let's hear it for Porcelain!" Elliot called out.
Kurt took center stage and waited as the lights went black. The crowd, of course, went wild, before quieting as Dani began playing the opening measures on her violin.
Out on your own
Cold and alone again
Can this be what you really wanted, baby?
Blame it on me,
Set your guilt free
Nothing can hold you back now.
Now that you're gone,
I feel like myself again.
Grieving the things I can't repair and willing…
The haunting rhythm pounded through him as he moved to the music, his body undulating and swaying. He sang with everything he had, putting his all into the song. The lights flashed with the rhythm of the drums. It was magical. He refused to think about how the lyrics fit his life. Nothing would interrupt his moment.
To let you blame it on me,
And set your guilt free.
I don't want to hold you back now love…
I can't change who I am.
Not this time, I won't lie to keep you near me.
And in this short life, there's no time to waste on giving up
My love wasn't enough
His arm raised as he put his all into the notes. The power sucked him in and he knew he'd never sung so well in his life.
And you can blame it on me,
Just set your guilt free, honey.
I don't want to hold you back now love!
As Kurt held the last note, the audience went wild. Kurt couldn't stop smiling as the applause continued. Elliot came over and grabbed him in a hug, kissing him on the cheek. The audience loved that and began shouting out for them to kiss each other.
"How about we sing instead of making out?" Kurt said into the microphone.
The crowd decided that was a good idea as the band began playing. Kurt and Elliot sang, dancing around one another, much more suggestively than they'd planned. The crowd was jumping to the beat, pumping their fists in the air. It spurred them on, putting every ounce of passion they could into the song.
I wish that this night would never be over
There's plenty of time to sleep when we die
So let us just stay awake until we grow older
If I had my way, we would never close our eyes, our eyes, never
I do not want to let a minute get away
Cause we got not time to lose
None of us are promised to see tomorrow
And what we do is ours to choose
Kurt and Elliot turned to face each other, their hands touching as they sang into the mics. Their eyes didn't leave each other for even a moment.
Forget about the sunrise
Fight the sleep in your eyes
I don't wanna miss a second with you
Let's stay this way forever
It's only getting better if we want it to
You know that I wish that this night would never be over
There's plenty of time to sleep when we die
So let's just stay awake until we grow older
If I had my way we'd never close our eyes, our eyes, never!
It is so hard to think this could fade away
But what goes up must come down
Why can't we just live life with no consequence?
And always live in the now
Forget about the sunrise
Fight the sleep in your eyes
I don't want to miss a second with you
Let's stay this way forever
It's only getting better if we want it to
Kurt and Elliot sang to each other, their eyes still never leaving each other even as their bodies moved to the hypnotic beat. Kurt couldn't believe the heat he could feel flying between them. Was it only the song or was it more? All he could do was lose himself in the words and in Elliot's glowing silver eyes.
You know that I wish that this night would never be over
There's plenty of time to sleep when we die
So let's just stay awake until we grow older
If I had my way we'd never close our eyes, our eyes never!
Oooh! Yeah!
They repeated the chorus while pointing the mics at the audience so they could sing aloud. They ended the song with their hands in the air. When the last note sounded, they stood with the rest of the band, holding hands as they took their bow, the audience roaring its approval. Suddenly, the club owner bounded up on stage and reached out his hand for the microphone, which Kurt handed to him. He looked at Elliot, then Dani, but everyone just shrugged.
"Wasn't that awesome folks? Come on, give it to them one more time, the Ideal Misfits!" the crowd applauded, screaming for them. "We have two important announcements for our favorite band. First, The Liquid Kitty is pleased to announce that the Ideal Misfits are now club regulars and will be here playing for us every weekend!"
The band looked around at each other before giving high fives and cheering for themselves. It was what they'd been hoping for. More gigs meant more money and better equipment. And for Kurt, it meant he got to plan actual band costumes. His mind started to drift to fabric colors and choices. The club owner's voice broke through his runaway thoughts.
"Although I would like to think our little club announcement was the most exciting one, but it isn't. We just got word and the utmost honor of letting Ideal Misfits know that they have been invited to compete at the band competition, Live and Unsigned in San Francisco!"
The band went berserk, jumping up and down, screaming and hugging each other. This was something they had tried for and hoped they could be part of for a long time. Kurt was thrilled that he was able to be a part of it.
"For those of you who don't know, Live and Unsigned is a band competition that started in the U.K. and is now moving over to the States. If Ideal Misfits win, they win a recording contract and fifty thousand dollars! Come on folks, wish our band good luck!" the club owner encouraged.
The club went wild. After that, everything was a blur. Kurt could barely remember loading up the equipment in their small trailer. All they could talk about was the club signing and the competition. Kurt had heard about how the band had entered a tape of their songs months before Kurt came along. Now he had the chance to help them win the whole thing. They ended up at Elliot's apartment. They stayed up all night, celebrating and making plans for the competition. Kurt didn't plan on falling asleep cuddled up to Elliot on the couch. He also didn't plan on his fellow band mates seeing them and deciding they looked amazing together. All he knew was he slept deeply and peacefully.
. . . . . . . .
"Hey Blaine, you have got to hear this band. Live and Unsigned released the list of bands competing this year. It's being held in San Francisco. We are going, Darling, so no arguments. This band, though, out of New York, is amazing. It's called Ideal Misfits. Their lead singer, Porcelain, is talented and so damn hot I want to lick him up one side and down the other. Holy crap, that ass! He kind of looks like your Kurt, just with purple hair," Etienne said. He shoved Blaine over to sit next to him on his little love seat. He handed him his iPad and clicked play on the video.
Blaine's mouth dried up and his heart stopped. "That is Kurt," he whispered. His eyes took in every detail like a starved man. His soul mate sounded wonderful. The song was more rock and roll than he was used to Kurt singing. The lyrics weren't lost on him either, but he didn't care. Not when he got to see him after so long.
"That's Kurt? Oh man, Darling, I am going to have to slap you all over again. He is one hot tamale. Oh, look at Mr. Back Up Singer. He is damn fine! The whole band is. Lucky bastards. Apparently, Mr. Back Up likes your Kurt too," Etienne commented as they watched Kurt and Elliot hugging after the song. When Elliot kissed Kurt on the cheek, Etienne turned to see Blaine's reaction.
Blaine paled and felt ill as the audience chanted for the two to kiss again. It was only a friendly kiss on the cheek, he assured himself. His relief was short lived when Kurt began singing with the guy. There was chemistry between the two, undeniable chemistry. A raw kind of chemistry he wasn't sure he and Kurt had ever shared.
. . . . . . . .
Standing under his own shower the next morning, Kurt rubbed his body wash thoroughly into his skin. He hadn't stayed at Elliot's, needing to get some space so he could think about what it felt like to wake up in Elliot's strong embrace. Stroking the body wash over his right arm, he looked down, then rubbed the soap over the area again. Was he seeing things? What the hell was going on with his Mark? The jagged line was still there, but the lock was no longer broken. It was more of a scar than a clean break. Even more shocking, the padlock was open again. Like he'd never had a soul mate or been Claimed. What the hell was going on? What did it all mean?
. . . . . . . .
I do not own Glee or iPad
As far as I know Live and Unsigned, though real and in the U.K., is not here in the States and has no plan to be. I just liked the sound of it.
Lacrymosa by Evanescence
Close Our Eyes by Adam Lambert
Reviews are welcomed and loved!