Author's Note~
Herro me friends! I have decided to continue my story ;A; Yesterday I was a bit confused and hurt about the copyright fiasco, but today I've decided to keep uploading the rest of the story for all of my loyal readers! The account that has uploaded my story on their profile has gotten over 5000 views, so I was amazed! I just want to get a little bit of credit for my work ^-^
So, without further ado, here is the next chapter ;w;
Chapter 9 - Alone
As I walk out the door and into the drizzle, I sigh, quickening my pace to get more distance away from Gray. Once I run out of breath, I stop, breathing hard, and look back at the house to see it was a mere dot in the distance.
I sink into my scarf, putting my hands in my pocket in loneliness.
He really hates me now, like everyone else does, and somehow that hurts. A lot.
The wind blows past me, scattering a flock of nearby birds resting on top of a tree on the side of the road, and I shiver, holding my sides to try and protect myself from the cold.
It's because I'm too prying, I'm too curious for him. He wouldn't want someone like me, let alone his rival anyhow.
So then why did he take me in from the cold before? Maybe the mission threw him off too, but in a different way. Different as in being kinder and not fighting with me, but I wonder what the other guildies think about him, about us.
I look ahead to see little kids playing around in the water with their little boots and coats and umbrellas, not caring about what other people think about them and with pure happiness.
I used to be like that. I wish I was still like that. But now everything seems to matter so much, and now I feel vulnerable to everything, like I'm not wearing any armor.
A drop of water hits my cheek, running down the side of my face leaving a cold, wet trail.
Should I rebuild my armor? Should I build walls and block everyone off?
It seems like a reasonable idea, considering what's been happening and how I've reacted to things.
Maybe someone will tear it down.
Maybe someone will melt those walls.
Maybe someone will care about me.
Maybe that someone is Gray.
Maybe it's not him.
It's probably not him.
I just miss having someone that understands me, someone that understands me, someone that wants the best for me. But did I ever have someone so perfect like that?
I look up into the dull, gray sky, and realize that the rain had turned into snow.
I smile in wonder for the first time in forever, my eyes brightening up as if someone was heading my way. I hold out my cupped hands to a nearby snowflake, expecting it to rest on my cold hands.
But it melts, turning into a small droplet and I stop walking, just staring at the small bead of water, and sigh, looking down at the cobblestone with my hands once again in my pocket in disappointment and loneliness.
Why can't I play around in the snow like everyone else can?
Why can't I be out by myself in the cold without shivering and feeling weak?
It just reminds me what a failure I am.
It just reminds me that I'm not strong enough.
It just reminds me that I'm too weak for anyone.
Gray's POV
I look out the window to see snow falling, and sigh, turning back to the TV which was showing the forecast for the weather. I hope Natsu's okay out there- he should be in his home already or at the guild. I finger the remote, running my thumb on the various sized buttons and such, thinking about the pinkette. He seemed really sad when I told him basically to knock it off, so I hope he's not walking in the cold like a depressed idiot. There's no need for him to be depressed- he has his own companion, Happy, and already has someone he loves and loves him back. But sometimes I wish I was the person to be his companion, I wish he was mine to take care of and hang out with, even though he might not like me back, but who cares? I do. He doesn't. Of course he doesn't care about me, he has his own life. Even though it pains me to think about it, I'm still glad for him. I want him to keep being that ball of energy, that guy who everyone wants to hang out with, and that means that I have to stop bugging him, right? Yeah, he gets all shaken up and shy whenever he hangs out with me, but that just makes him even cuter. Every time he's like that I just want to ruffle his hair and hug him, but of course he'd hate that. Of course he would.
Lucy's POV
"That's so funny, Loki!" I laugh at his actually funny joke with the other girls listening to him and he gives me a flirty wink, causing a few girls to gasp and give him more chocolates while I roll my eyes, smiling. It's so nice to hang out with Loki and Levy, I love it when they- My thoughts abruptly halt as someone "taps" my back, well, more like a shove- "Lucy?" I hear Erza's concerned voice behind me, and I whip around to see her looking at me with a worried look. "Hi Erza! What's up?" I ask her, and she asks, "Have you seen Natsu and Gray lately? They haven't come to the guild all day." I blink in surprise, realizing that the two boys weren't at the guild, and shake my head, replying guiltily, "I forgot about them." "Do you think something's going on between them? Ever since the mission?" Erza suddenly becomes childish, like a gossipy girl, and I shrug, replying with a smile, "Maybe they finally got together!" She gives me a look and I laugh, half-joking, "Just kidding! Well, they do like each other but-" "Really?!" Erza's eyes pop out of their sockets and I nod vigorously, putting a finger to my mouth, "Don't tell anyone though, it would probably hurt their feelings since they trust me." She nods solemnly, then asks, "Do you think I should check if they're okay?" I nod, replying, "You can check on Gray while I check on Natsu." She nods, and I say a brief goodbye to everyone at the table, waving as Erza and I exit the guild.
I hope Natsu's okay... I walk through the snow, skipping along the path to his house where I guessed he would be, and think about the two boys, slowing my pace. Last time I talked to Natsu, he seemed really... Distant. Like something was really wrong, and I didn't want to ask because we were out there in the middle of the storm. But the thing that made me feel the most guilty was when he said that the "mission" Erza and I made him do just worsened things. Why did he feel so bad about it? It sounded like they had a lot of fun... Maybe it was too forced, but really it was just a joke... I see Natsu's house in the distance, and quicken my pace, excited to talk to Natsu.
Erza's POV
I shiver, hugging myself as I walk into the far end of Magnolia towards Gray's house. "Why is it so cold and windy?" I ask myself, squinting to see Gray's house in the distance. I should've worn more layers, or maybe Jellal's- Never mind Jellal! I find myself blushing again at the thought of him, and shake him out of my mind, focusing on looking for Gray.
I hope the mission worked out; ever since that incident, I knew that they were trying to hide their feelings from everyone else because whenever they fought, they didn't seem serious, but nervous and uncomfortable. Silly boys, you don't have to stay rivals your whole life. I finally get within yards of Gray's house, and see that he was just about to exit when he sees me and freezes.
"E-Erza?!" He exclaims in confusion, and I reply, "Hello Gray- How are you?" "G-Good, you?" He stammers, shrinking at the sight of me, and I answer, smiling, "I'm doing fine, except it's rather cold out here isn't it?" He takes it as if I was asking to go in, so he opens the door for me, causing myself to thank him, walking into his house for the first time.
It was a well-kept home; the walls were a clean white, and there were the basic rooms; the bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, a living room and a basement. I noticed that it was pretty plain, for there were no pictures on the walls, or anything that popped out besides his kitchen. Does he know how to cook? I see various sets of measuring spoons, blenders, pots and pans, utensils, glasses- "Um," he clears his throat, and I step out of the doorway, quickly apologizing and sit down on a sofa he had that faced a fireplace and a TV, enjoying the warmth that the flame provided which made me think of Natsu. "So..." He settles besides me, asking, "Why did you come to visit? I rarely get any visitors here, let alone someone like you." I smile at the last part, causing him to quickly apologize, waving his hands in the air timidly, and I reply, "I just wanted to check in- Lucy and I were worried about you and Natsu, after the mission." He seems caught off guard when I mention Natsu, and he looks down, replying, "I don't know what to do, I mean we're rivals-" "No you're not," I interrupt in a matter-of-fact voice and he blinks in surprise, looking up at me. "We all know that you guys don't want to be rivals," I smile, and he stutters, "I-I..." "Don't you like him? He's such an energetic and kind young man," I point out, and Gray replies, looking distant, "Yes... But he hates me, after what I've done." "What did you do?" I ask Gray in concern, and he replies, "I dunno, I guess I took him in, but I sent him out because I didn't want to tell him that I-" His eyes widen, and I reply, my smile getting bigger, "It's okay, we know that you like him." "'W-We'?!" He repeats, now blushing, and I laugh, answering, "Not everyone, just Lucy, Mira and I." He looks at me in horror, and asks slowly, "Is it okay if you don't tell anyone else? I don't want it to get out..." I nod, replying, "Lucy vowed me to otherwise she'd keep Jellal away from me-" I make a strangled sound, my eyes wide and round after mentioning his name and Gray laughs, causing myself to quickly stammer, "D-Don't tell anyone about us-" "I won't," he promises, and continues, "So it looks like we have a promise for each other to keep, huh." "If you do tell anyone about us then I'll pound you to the ground, hear that?" I jokingly threat him in a scary voice, and he stammers, "Y-Yes!" "Good," I smile, nudging him which threw him off the couch, and say, "Be sure to check on Natsu later, I'm sure he misses you." "He doesn't miss me," Gray climbs back up onto the sofa, scowling, and I say, "You still should if you want him to be yours." His face turns beet red and I laugh, standing up. "See you later, Gray," I wave out the door, and he chokes out a small goodbye, causing myself to smile, shutting the door as I walk into the snow.
Lucy's POV
"Natsu?" I call out inside the house, and look around for him. Food wrappers are everywhere- the blankets are in dire need of ironing, uneven piles of cardboard pizza boxes lean against the wall, and it's as cold as the weather outside. I walk through the trash-covered wooden floor, and open the door to his bedroom to see that it was in the same state and that he wasn't there, causing my eyes to widen in horror. If Natsu was out in the snow for the past hour... I run out the door, and into the snow looking for the poor boy.
"Natsu!" I call out his name, walking through the barren streets and shivering, wishing I would've worn something warmer than my usual attire which mainly consisted of a sleeveless blue mini-skirt with black leggings. Where is that pink haired- I stop in surprise as I see Natsu with his shoulders hunched, his hands in his pockets walk past me without even knowing that I was watching him, and I say quietly, "Natsu..." He stops walking, and looks up, then over to my direction in surprise, his mouth open, and then turns back, walking, so I quickly run up to him, grabbing his arm anxiously. "Natsu! You gave me a heart attack when I saw that you weren't in your house!" I say in concern, and he replies in a monotone voice, "Please let go." I look at him in horror, his usual bright eyes now a black void of mixed up thoughts, his face dark in the shadows, so I ask slowly, "Natsu, what's wrong?" "Nothing's wrong," he says, still walking, and I let go of his arm, saying, "You can tell me anything Natsu, I'm here." He glances at me for a brief half second, and then turns back to face forward, his breathing shallow. "Is it about Gray?" I ask him, but quickly take it back as he stops abruptly, looking up, then at me, trying not to look surprised but I can see a flicker of wavering in his eyes. "What about him?" He asks me, and I reply, "I... I-I'm really sorry about the mission-" "It's okay," he quickly goes back to walking at the mention of that, and I say quietly, "I thought you liked Gray- He liked you too-" "No he doesn't," I'm taken aback from the harshness in his voice, and he quickly replies, "Sorry..." "I-It's fine Natsu, I should be the one apologizing about it..." I drift off, looking away, and his expression softens a little at my apology, and he says, "Gray doesn't like me; he hates me." "Why do you think that?" I ask him in concern, looking at him, and he replies, "He hates me like everyone else." "Natsu, none of us hate you-" "Then why would he want me to leave? Why would you guys leave me alone?" The amount of hurt those words carried caught me off guard, and I quickly respond, "We thought you were having fun with Gray, so we spent time with our other friends-" "You sent me on a mission with him, you sent me away..." He drifts off, consumed in hatred, and I open my mouth to interject but close it, not knowing what to say. "It was just a little joke and a little event for you two to become friends-" "It wasn't a joke..." He says shakily, starting to lose confidence, and I say quietly, "I'm sorry... I just thought that you two could come together, since you like each other-" "He doesn't like me! He hates me! And there's nothing you can do about it," he grits his teeth, and I feel horrible inside. I shouldn't have forced it, I should've let them be- But it was just a small little thing... Right? But to them it was... What was it to them? "I-I'm sorry, I regret everything-" I begin, but he cuts me off, saying, "Why do you care about me? Why aren't you spending time with Loki or some other person who makes you happy? I'm just a burden to everyone... Gray hates me, and there's nothing you can do about it, so please..." My eyes widen, and his lip quivers, and he says quietly, "I'm too annoying for everyone, I end up getting sent away and thrown out. I'm too weak for everyone, I just ruin everyone's day. I'm too dumb, I don't realize that I'm hurting everyone I love... So please..." He clenches his hands, shaking. "Leave me alone," he whispers, running out onto the distance, and I stand there, frozen in horror.
Natsu's POV
I sprint through the storm of snow, melting the ground as I run through, gritting my teeth and clenching my fists. I hate it, I hate her, I hate everyone- I shake my head, pushing away those negative thoughts, and look through the snow, the wind pushing against me. It wasn't their fault for forgetting about me, it never was; but did they really care about me all along? Or is it just me? I turn and twist through the barren city, flickering lamp posts whizzing by as I run. Most of the shops are closed, and I was alone in the streets, breathing hard. I run along the park path, looking to my side as snow-covered trees whip past me, the distant lake now a pool of ice. As I turn to face forward, I realize that I'm far away from the city, and now out into the outskirts, running out of energy, so I stop, gasping for breath, and bite my lip, surrounded by the cold wind and snow.
W-What now?
I collapse onto the barren ground, the snow burning me as I sit, hugging my knees and whimpering.
Why am I out in the cold?
Why do I feel so... Empty? I-I...
Tears start to blur my vision, and I shake, not wanting to cry.
Why aren't I with my friends?
Why am I alone?
W-Why?
I let the tears fall, unable to resist, and I pray for someone, anyone to comfort me, because I can't bring myself to get to safety.
The wind whistles in my ear, my scarf flying, and I shiver, starting to give in to the weather, but I hear someone sprinting towards me, and a familiar name yells out my name, causing myself to look up in shock.