Chapter 10 - Reunite

Gray's POV

I stop in horror to see Natsu sitting down, shivering severely and hugging his knees, whimpering, and he looks up at me in shock, tears streaming from his eyes, and I say, gritting my teeth, "Come on, we need to get you to safety." "I-I'm okay-" "No you're not! Get up-" "You already saved me once, I don't need any more help-" I grab his arm, pulling him up, and he doesn't argue back, too drained of energy to, causing myself to curse under my breath, wishing I would've listened to Erza sooner, and I slowly walk back the way I came, letting Natsu hold me for stability. "Idiot, I thought you were at the guild or at your house," I say quietly, looking ahead, and he doesn't answer, tightening his grip, his usually warm aura now weak and cold, as if he gave up and let the storm pass through his barriers. "S-Sorry, I..." He breaks into a fit of coughs, and I quicken my pace, gritting my teeth, causing him to stumble a bit, but regaining his composure. How long was he out there? What happened when he left? I look down at myself in remorse, mentally kicking myself for being such a moron. "C-Cold..." He hugs me for warmth, even though I just make him colder, and a little piece of me breaks inside, realizing I just made things worse when he tried hugging me. "Here, take my coat," I shrug off my coat, throwing it over Natsu, and he blushes, wrapping it around himself. "We're almost there," I say, seeing my house approaching, and he says quietly, his voice fragile, "I'm sorry..."

A few minutes later...

"Come," I say, leading the poor guy into the bedroom.

"C-Can I go in?"

I nod, and he stammers out a small "thanks" and climbs in, releasing a small, fragile cough, and I settle down in a nearby chair, exhaling.

"Why were you out there, in the cold and alone?" I ask a bit too forcefully, and he stays silent, hiding most of his face under the covers.

"I don't like being home alone and I just... I just feel out of place at the guild where everyone's so happy-"

"Why didn't you come here?" I ask.

"I-I know you hate me, so I try to avoid being a burden-"

"Why do you think that?" I ask, hurt.

He stammers, "You wouldn't understand-"

"No, tell me. Please..." I grit my teeth, and he says quietly,

"I'm just a stupid monkey, I just ruin everyone's day by annoying them and hurting their feelings and being a pain... No one really likes me or cares about me, I just- I just deserve to be alone. I'm too spoiled to be here, to have your company, I'm just a spoiled piece of trash, but yet somehow I always hurt someone whenever I try to be myself. So I'm sorry..."

The words ring in my ears, smashing my heart into even more bits and pieces, and I choke, realizing that he was too broken and damaged to the point where he was just swallowed up in hurt, causing myself to silently walk over to the bed, climbing into it in silence, and he turns to face in the other direction.

For the first time, I don't know what to do.

What is this indescribable pain?

Why am I hurting so much for him?

Why do I feel so hopeless and blocked off? He's right there in front of me, but yet...

But yet...

I grit my teeth, realizing he was destroying my protective barriers, my walls that blocked everyone off that hid my emotions, and now my feelings are overwhelming, like an axe splitting my heart open. "Natsu..." I say in a small voice, and he tenses, but turns around to face me and his eyes widen, seeing me like this for the first time.

"Natsu... I-I... I've always wanted to say this to you, but I never had the strength to..." I drift off, not believing I was going to say the thing I swore I'd never say to him, and he blinks in surprise.

"What is it?" He asks, a small hint of caution in my voice, and I say quietly, "You swear not to tell anyone?"

"Okay..."

I look at my pillow nervously, feeling his confused stare on me, and I turn, back, swallowing up my anxiousness.

"I... I've always cared for you, I've always been worried about you whenever you were off going to a mission or done something idiotic or dangerous, and I know you've always thought of me as a rival, and you've always thought me as an enemy..."

I pause, and he waits for me to go on, eyes wide.

"But every time fought with you, every time I argued, I wanted you to be stronger, to be more confident and not falter whenever you really had to fight for your life... I always looked up to you because of how determined you always were, how insistent you were on things and how much strength you had to not give up and keep pushing,"

I blush, realizing I was going farther than I thought I would, and his mouth is now hanging open in shock.

"So, uh, I guess it really hurts whenever you're down, and I try to keep you warm even though I make you colder whenever you try to hug me, and I try to do all I can even though it's always not enough because I was always afraid of you knowing that I wanted the best for you..."

"I know you like Lucy, I know you think I'm out of my mind, I know you hate me, but I just wanted to say that I..."

The clock ticks, the wind blowing against the shingles, and I build up my strength to say the three words I thought I'd never say.

"I... L-Love... You..."