Thank you to everyone for your support and love! Also a big thank you to Filthy Absinthe for the French correction!
Enjoy!
Last time on "Unlock My Heart":
Elliot groaned. "Yes, mon doux (my sweet). I know it has been a while for both of us. If you want or need to stop at any time, just say so, okay. We are both in control of what we do. Now, come with me, I can't wait any longer. Let me love your body until you come crying my name."
Kurt appreciated his words more than he could express. Then his final words broke into his lust filled haze. He let out a low cry at the erotic words. "Yes. Go now," he agreed. They went to the room and within seconds, they were nude and took a moment to look at each other, practically panting with need. Quickly, they walked toward the bed, eager to get back in each other's arms.
. . . . . . . . .
Kurt slid backward until he was in the center of the bed, his eyes never leaving the long, lean form of his soon to be lover.
"You are unbelievably gorgeous," Kurt whispered. "You should never wear clothes again."
As he climbed on the bed, Kurt's eyes hungrily traced every inch of his body. Elliot's skin was naturally darker, more tan, than his own pale body. His arms were well muscled and covered in beautiful tattoos that only seemed to emphasize his masculinity. Kurt loved his lightly muscled pecs and abs. He was perfectly built. He could tell Elliot took care of his body, but it wasn't an obsession. Somehow, though, his abs were framed by a beautiful deep V, Kurt's absolutely favorite spot on the male body. He wanted to lick it and though he'd never admit it out loud, not even when he was with Blaine, he had a secret fantasy of rutting against that dip until he came just to see what it would look like. Maybe someday he would have the courage.
Elliot chuckled at his clothes comment. "Well, I would say the same to you, but then I would be forever bound to end every male who looked at you. I just can't rock the violent murderer look," he said with a grin. "Now, you on the other hand, may not go around naked in public. However, I am of the firm belief that you should never wear clothes around your apartment ever again. This skin," he ran his hand down his body starting at his neck and trailing over his chest, flicking his nipples with his nails again. Further down, his fingers lightly grazed his firm belly, and down to the light patch of trimmed hair surrounding his erection. "I could spend hours worshipping this body. If I didn't need you so desperately, I would do it right now," Elliot moaned, licking and nipping at Kurt's puckered nipples.
Kurt's mind turned to mush hearing Elliot's words. He could definitely get into that worship session. Kurt gasped as Elliot took his cock in his hand.
"I need to taste you, Kurt. Can I do that, mon doux? May I have the pleasure of your flavor on my tongue, sweet one?" Elliot whispered in his ear, his hot breath making Kurt shiver.
"Ohdeargodyespleasenow!" Kurt cried out.
With one tiny lick, Kurt felt like he would pass out from the pleasure. Elliot's tongue felt like fire, burning him in the most delicious way. "More!" he demanded.
"Alright, bossy," Eliot chuckled before taking more of Kurt into his mouth.
Kurt froze for a moment. How many times had Blaine teased him and called him 'bossy' when they made love. Kurt always demanded things, it must be a natural reaction to call him that, he figured. There was no way Elliot could know. He squeezed his eyes closed harder, letting himself get lost in the sensations.
Eliot moaned around him, taking him all the way until Kurt was touching the back of his throat. He loved the taste of him, the weight of him against his tongue, the feel of his cock stretching his mouth. Slowly, he raised and lowered his head, swirling his tongue around Kurt's hard cock.
Kurt wailed his pleasure, unable to hold back the intense feelings coursing through him. "Elliot, I'm gonna come if you don't stop. Oh god, please!" He had no idea what he was saying please to, continuing or stopping. He decided to leave it up to Elliot.
Elliot hummed musical scales as he hollowed his cheeks, bobbing his head faster. He needed to feel Kurt come in his mouth, feel his come shoot into the back of his throat.
Kurt began moving desperately underneath him, his foot stomping on the mattress. He shrieked loudly as he came, the pleasure so deep, he saw spots in front of his eyes.
Elliot swallowed around him, taking everything he was given. The feel and taste of Kurt in his mouth added to the overpowering desire of being on top of the beautiful man pushed Elliot close to the edge. "Kurt, baby, I'm so close," Elliot said. On instinct, he lowered himself to where his cock could rub against Kurt's abdomen. "So close," he whimpered.
"Come for me, Elliot. I want to feel your come on my skin," Kurt encouraged, surprised he could even talk. But he wanted this man to have the ecstasy he'd just experienced. He grabbed Elliot's ass and couldn't help but squeeze the firm but soft skin.
Elliot loved his ass being grabbed and he gave a powerful thrust, coming in streaks across Kurt's belly and chest. He cried out with a harsh groan as he continued to rut through his orgasm. Finally he came to a stop and collapsed on top of Kurt.
Again, Kurt was reminded of Blaine. Not just because Elliot was laying on top of him, but because this was the position they'd used to Join. He equated it with pleasure, safety, and submission.
As if he were reading a script, Elliot spoke the words Blaine had used their first time.
"My god, you are perfect, Kurt. So beautiful and you taste like heaven," he whispered in Kurt's ear.
It was all too much. The intimacy, the words, the position. It was like Blaine was here and he couldn't handle it.
"Please. Please get up," Kurt said, pushing at Elliot's shoulder.
Elliot, who was still feeling groggy, lifted himself up and collapsed at Kurt's side, not hearing the urgency in Kurt's words. He breathed deeply for several minutes, not knowing the man beside him was working himself into a panic.
"Thank you for trusting me with your body, Kurt," Elliot said sincerely. He rolled over and raised up onto his elbow.
More words from Blaine. Why was this happening? This was supposed to a new beginning! This was supposed to erase Blaine from his body. A moment of new passion and an experience with someone he was coming to care for so very much.
"I'm sorry, you need to leave," Kurt said, unable to meet Elliot's eyes. "Please."
Elliot frowned, instantly upset and needing to know what was going on. "Kurt what's wrong? Did I hurt you?"
In ways you'll never know, Kurt thought. "No, you didn't hurt me. I just… I just need to be alone. Please," he begged, tears streaming down his face as he sat up, turning his back to Elliot. He didn't want to hurt him, especially after their beautiful moment. But it was like Blaine was there, interrupting, determined to ruin everything.
Elliot wanted to demand that Kurt explain, but he could see clearly that Kurt was closing himself off. "Kurt are you sure? I want to help. Whatever you need," he insisted. He needed to take him in his arms, ensure his safety, and fix everything.
"I need to be alone. I am so sorry, Elliot. I'm sorry you have to deal with someone so ruined," Kurt sobbed and ran to the bathroom, so upset, he didn't even grab his robe.
Elliot cleaned himself up with tissues on the bedside table and dressed quickly, wanting to honor Kurt's wishes, though it went against all of his instincts. He cared for people in need, which was what he was good at. For someone he cared about so deeply? He wanted to lay down his life to make it better. Petting a meowing Colette, he slid his coat on. As he left, he turned the lock on the door to keep Kurt safe – it was the least he could do – and headed toward the subway. As he walked, he sent Kurt a text.
Mon doux, I don't know what happened, what went wrong. What we shared was wonderfully erotic, passionate and perfect. You touched me on a level I thought I would never experience again. You mean so much to me, Kurt. I will do anything to fix whatever it is that is hurting you. If that means we only remain friends, than that will be what happens, with no awkwardness or hard feelings, I promise. I want you in my life, it doesn't matter what form it takes. Please talk to me, my heart is hurting so bad to have left with you crying. If nothing else, please let me know if you are, or will be, alright. If you need me, need anything, I am here. Always.
. . . . . . . .
Kurt was mortified by what he'd done. After spending a good half hour sobbing, he checked his phone and read Elliot's heart felt message. The man was beyond wonderful and didn't deserve the way Kurt had treated him. There was no way he could have known that he had perfectly quoted Blaine. It was Kurt who was the problem. He was obviously damaged and had no way of figuring out how to fix himself. Even if he couldn't fix himself, he could fix this situation. He wasn't going to lose Elliot because of Blaine Anderson. He did want Elliot as his friend, his best friend, but he also wanted to explore what was going on between them. He longed to see if they could be good together. Elliot hadn't thought that his break up with Blaine had been Kurt's fault. He never talked about being a Dom or Kurt being a sub. He considered everyone equal, like Kurt did. Elliot was so much braver than he was. He had shared an experience that, Kurt was pretty sure, he hadn't had since Declan passed away. He had put himself out there, vulnerable, but so open to Kurt. He was ashamed of how he acted and he needed to fix it now.
Cleaning himself up, he noticed he wasn't grossed out that he was still covered in Elliot's come. With Blaine he'd always cleaned up immediately, feeling nasty and disgusting. Instead, he had this sensation of being marked and it turned him on, despite his distraught emotions. Looking around, as if he was afraid of being caught, he wiped his finger through the chilled white fluid and licked it up. He hummed at the musky and manly taste. Gross or not, something in him wanted more of it. Finishing up, he dressed casually in jeans, an Ideal Misfits t-shirt and a pair of worn-in bright red Converse.
As he sat on the subway, he opened up Jeff's Facebook account and caught up on the gossip. Though Nick and Jeff were attending Ohio State, they kept in touch with most of the Dalton alumni. As he scrolled through the many updates, he grinned and chuckled at the jokes, grateful for the diversion and wishing he could comment. He was still trying to decide about his own account, but was too wary of providing a way for Blaine to send him private messages. He and Dani were running the Ideal Misfits Facebook page and that was as close as he was going to get.
Seeing a new video from Blaine, he grimaced but decided to listen after giving it some thought. He didn't exactly need more of Blaine in his world or his head right now. Besides, he was leery of the videos after the last song that was way too close to being a stalker anthem. He wanted to see if he was continuing on that path or if he was simply trying to get Kurt back. If he proved to be a wannabe stalker, he would be talking to his dad about what kind of steps they could take to get Blaine to leave him alone. Plugging his earbuds into his phone, he sighed and hit play on the video.
The video was posted with the same title all the others were, "For Kurt", but now he added the number of the video. This one was "For Kurt #13". There were thirteen of these things? Kurt had only watched a few, not able to handle all of them. As the video began, Blaine was surrounded by a band which was new. Kurt was surprised as all the other videos only featured Blaine on the piano. Now there was a full band just like Ideal Misfits. Blaine had a guitar and began playing, something Kurt had always enjoyed watching. Watching talented, knowledgeable fingers strum and pluck at the guitar strings had always caused heat to rush through his body. He ignored that interest now as the drummer began to play and Blaine began singing. Kurt knew he'd heard the song before, but couldn't place it. Until he did.
So lately, been wondering
Who will be there to take my place?
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If a great wave shall fall
Yeah, it'd fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own?
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
On the screen, Blaine reached out his hand toward the camera as if trying to touch him. Kurt wondered if Blaine really thought he was impressed with this show.
And maybe, I'll find out
The way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
Kurt's mouth gaped open in response to that verse. 'To watch you, to guide you'? Blaine had definitely watched him and guided him into the sub he wanted, guided him into a person that wasn't him. And the line 'Through the darkest of your days'? Really? Blaine had caused the darkest of his days by beating the shit out of him. Seriously? If anything Elliot could be the one singing this to him. Elliot had no idea how much his friendship and affection had helped Kurt. He shook his head and watched the rest of the video, his diva eyebrow raised in disgust.
If a great wave shall fall
It'd fall upon us all
Well, I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back you?
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
Run away with my heart
Run away with my hope
Run away with my love
I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart, in your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time
Yeah, at least that line was true. 'In your heart, in your mind, I'll stay with you for all of time'. Absolutely, the scar of Blaine's place in his life would stay with him for the rest of his life. He was a different person because of Blaine. He was less likely to be affectionate or trust any feelings he had for people. Hell, he was already trying to chase Elliot away, all because he had said words that reminded him of Blaine. That wasn't Elliot's fault. Hell, he didn't even know what had gone wrong.
If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go
I'll go wherever you will go
Like every other video, a message was posted with it. Kurt shook his head as he read the words.
Kurt, as always, please know that I love you. I will go wherever you go, be whatever you need, do whatever it takes to make you mine. I want to be yours just as much as you are mine. And you are mine, Kurt, you always will be. As the song says, if I could turn back time, I would have agreed to go to New York with you. I would have made sure to address your needs just as much as you would have addressed mine. We could have made it work with being across the country from each other. You were right. I just wanted for me to be right. I was so selfish. But I am trying, Kurt. I am trying to be a better man, a better Dom, a better soul mate. I will be here when you want me again. And wherever you want me to go, I will go there. I love you so very much. Until next time...
Did Blaine really think he would just forget everything and plead for Blaine to come be with him? He was still hooked on the Dom thing, mentioning how he wanted to be a better one. Kurt had quickly become accustomed to, and appreciative of, New York's stance on Doms and subs. It was between each couple to decide the dynamics of their relationship. It was considered extremely private and bad form to openly discuss it. There was no Dom laws or sub laws. There were privacy and protection laws. Kurt logged out of Facebook, even more determined to fix things with Elliot.
. . . . . . .
As he approached Elliot's building, he texted him.
Kurt: Are you home?
Elliot: Yes. Are you okay?
Kurt knocked on his door. Elliot opened the door, surprise on his face. Kurt stepped inside and wrapped himself around Elliot. Without hesitation, Elliot returned the hug, squeezing him tightly as Kurt nuzzled into his neck.
"I am so sorry, Elliot. Please say you can forgive me," Kurt said, his voice breaking.
"Of course I forgive you, mon doux. Come in and sit down. Do you want some coffee?" Elliot took his jacket and led him to the couch.
Kurt shook his head. He knew he'd hurt Elliot and here he was sweetly forgiving him and wanting to take care of his needs.
"Maybe in a bit, please sit down with me. I want to explain what happened," Kurt said, patting the cushion next to him. Elliot sat and Kurt took his hands. "Nothing that happened was because of you. It was me and my personal damage." He quickly told Elliot about how he'd flashed back to things Blaine had said to him and how it was too much for Kurt to deal with.
"Oh, sweetheart," Elliot whispered before gathering Kurt to him.
Kurt began weeping quietly, trembling in Elliot's strong arms. He knew he was safe here, safer than he had ever felt in his life, apart from his father's arms. "I am so sorry, Elliot. I know I hurt you and ruined what was such a perfect moment. You gave me such pleasure and I turned around and basically slapped you in the face with it. I know I can't make it up to you," Kurt said, raising his tear filled eyes to look pleadingly at Elliot. "But please, can we give this a try? Whatever is happening between us? It feels so good, so right, and I don't want to lose that. I will understand, though, if you would feel more secure if we remain friends. I know I'm pretty fucked up and not everyone would…"
Elliot interrupted him by grabbing his face and kissing him deeply. Their lips slotted together as if they'd been kissing each other for years. Elliot moaned and slipped his tongue easily into Kurt's accepting mouth, tasting and exploring him. Like before, his mouth moved along Kurt's jaw, nibbling softly.
"Mon doux, I may be mistaken, but why do I taste myself in your mouth," Elliot whispered hotly in his ear, taking the soft lobe and nipping at it.
Kurt shuddered, his body breaking out in goose bumps. "I, um, may have been curious about what you taste like," he responded, his voice so quiet, Elliot had to strain to hear him.
Elliot swore loudly. "Sweet Spaghetti Monster, are you trying to kill me?"
Kurt giggled and leaned back, his face bright red. "No, that would kind of defeat the purpose wouldn't it?" he said, giving a bashful grin when Elliot chuckled. Kurt leaned in to kiss the gray eyed man and hummed in pleasure.
"I guess so. Doing that would also deny you pleasure. That goes against everything I believe in, so warn me next time you want to be outrageous," he said with a wink. "So, Kurt 'Porcelain' Hummel, I have a question for you." Elliot asked softly, rubbing his hand across Kurt's cheek.
Kurt nuzzled into his hand, sighing in pleasure. "You can ask me anything. I always want to be honest and open about everything," he said sincerely.
"Good, that makes two of us," Elliot replied, smiling. "My question is this; will you be my trial boyfriend?"
Kurt had begun to smile with joy before it died off when he heard the word 'trial'. "Trial?" he asked, sadness filling him. Though he couldn't blame him for not wanting to make a full commitment.
Elliot's other hand came up to raise Kurt's face to his. He kissed him softly, a gentle motion of lips. "Listen to me, okay?" Elliot requested and Kurt nodded, his blue eyes dimmed. "I'm calling it a trial because you aren't the only one damaged. We both have a train car full of baggage to work through. You have your abusive soul mate and his effect on you. I have the fears that come from Declan dying. That fear comes with extreme worry about losing you, in life and in a relationship. When I left your place, I'll admit I spent the subway ride home crying. I don't want to lose you, whether in a relationship or our friendship. I think it will take both of us time to truly become comfortable together. You need to realize I'm not Blaine and I need to deal with my fear and not become paranoid. I call us trial boyfriends because I want the option of returning to being best friends. I refuse to lose that side of us. It is too precious to me. You are too precious to me. So, what do you say?" Elliot's eyes were filled with hope, his hands trembling on Kurt's face.
Kurt covered Elliot's hands with his own. "I say, you are precious to me as well, my sweet trial boyfriend," he said with a wide smile.
"Oh thank god," Elliot said, standing and pulling Kurt up and into his arms. Picking him up, he swung them around until Kurt was giggling. "We are going to be so good together!"
"Yes we will," Kurt agreed. "Now, how about some coffee? Maybe something to eat?"
Elliot kissed him long and hard. "Of course, mon doux, what are you in the mood for? I have some steaks?"
Kurt grinned and flattened his palms against Elliot's abdomen. "Actually, I'm kind of hungry for another taste of something else," he said sultrily, lowering his hand to cup Elliot's growing erection, smiling when he heard him swallow loudly.
"Another taste?" Elliot said, his voice higher than normal.
"Of you," Kurt whispered.
Elliot's arms tightened around Kurt's waist. "Screw the coffee," he muttered and took Kurt's hand, dragging him toward the bedroom.
. . . . . . .
What do you think? Will they be able to get past their baggage, or will it be too much? Will Blaine be able to get past his? Can he break through to Kurt?
"Wherever You Will Go" The Calling