It took me about 6 go arounds before I finally got this chapter heading in the right direction. I hope you like it.
If you like listening to the songs in the story as they are written, have "I'll Be There" by the Jackson 5 ready to go…. Then get ready for some time jumps.
"I'm sorry to say that this might upset you further," Elliot said hesitantly as everyone came into the loft.
"Kurt, we're holding an intervention," Sam announced.
Kurt looked around, confused. "For who?"
"You," Dani, Max, and Sam said.
. . . . . . . .
"What do you mean?" Kurt asked, his head swimming as he tried to understand.
"Kurt, sweetie, when is the last time you slept?" Dani asked, coming over to take his hands. "Your hands are freezing!"
"I just need some coffee in me to warm me up," Kurt said, taking back his hands and returning to the couch, wrapping his blanket around him. He picked up his coffee and took a deep sip. "So, why do I need an intervention?"
"You need to answer Dani's question, Porcelain," Max said gently, coming and sitting next to him.
Elliot joined him on the other side and both of them scooted in, surrounding Kurt with warmth and the feeling of being protected.
"I slept last night," Kurt murmured. He knew they'd be able to see he was tired. He'd already washed off his make-up after he went out for coffee earlier.
"And how many hours did you sleep?" Dani asked, her countenance that of a mother figure.
"I don't know," Kurt said, taking another sip. His hands trembled as he held the cup.
Elliot took the cup as it threatened to spill all over Kurt. "Mon doux, I think you've had enough coffee. You are shaking and I have a feeling it's from too much caffeine."
"How many hours, Kurt?" Dani persisted.
"I don't know," Kurt insisted irritably. "Two or three, I guess."
"Has it been like that all week?" she asked, sitting in front of him on the floor.
"I guess," Kurt whispered, watching Cosette trotted over and climbed into Dani's lap.
"And when did you eat last?" she asked, petting the sleepy kitten.
"I've been busy. I had some celery at lunch. I've kinda been living on coffee," he admitted, feeling his exhaustion catching up with him.
"Can you tell us why all this is going on? I have a feeling it's all connected. Isn't it?" Dani asked, taking one of his hands in hers, rubbing it, and trying to warm his cold fingers.
"I don't know," he mumbled.
"Kurt, look at me," Elliot said sternly.
Kurt didn't hesitate, he immediately looked into Elliot's concerned eyes.
"Tell me why you haven't been sleeping," he demanded.
Kurt looked at him, fatigue making him irrationally fearful that this would be it. If he told him what was happening, the trial would be over. Would he at least get to keep this wonderful man as a friend?
"Kurt?" Elliot brought his attention back to him.
Kurt let his head fall back against the couch. "I don't want to talk about it. You'll be done," he cried.
"Mon doux, what do you mean I'll be done?" Elliot asked, his heart aching. He wrapped his arm around Kurt and nodded at Max who did the same from the other side.
For the first time in days he felt safe. Max and his large body next to him, surrounding him. On the opposite side, Elliot protected him, covering him from harm. He took a deep, shuddering breath and it almost hurt. He felt like he hadn't breathed for a week.
"The trial will be over. My baggage car is overflowing, Elliot. You don't need to deal with this," Kurt said, struggling to get the words out.
"Kurt Hummel, look at me," Elliot demanded, not caring if his Dom side was showing.
Kurt immediately looked at him, ready to see disgust or a look of regret. Elliot's gray eyes were warm, but determined. Kurt didn't understand.
"Did I ever give you the impression that either of our baggage, no matter how much we have, is grounds to break up?" Elliot asked, never moving his eyes from Kurt. He had to make this precious man realize that he wasn't going anywhere. This week had been hell not being able to spend time with him. He realized he didn't need a trial. He wanted a full on relationship with Kurt and he would tell him that tonight. As a couple they were stronger, they could handle their baggage together. They wouldn't let the other drown in worries and fears as Kurt was so obviously doing. "Please answer me, Kurt."
"No, you never gave me that impression," Kurt answered quietly, feeling bad that he had let his own fears reflect onto Elliot.
"When I brought up being trial boyfriends, it was because I was afraid. I was afraid to let myself feel," Elliot said.
"Afraid to feel what?" Kurt asked, his eyes still locked on Elliot's.
His eyes returned to the vulnerable green and blue of Kurt's gaze. "I'm afraid to feel love, Kurt. I love my friends, all of these people are in my heart. But I'm afraid to open that part of my heart that can lead to heartbreak and losing someone."
"I'm afraid, too," Kurt whispered, feeling hypnotized by the depth of feeling in Elliot's eyes.
"What are you afraid of, mon doux," Elliot responded, tracing Kurt's face with his hand.
As he loved to do, Kurt nuzzled into his hand, sighing with pleasure. "I am afraid that Blaine will find me and hurt me or make me go with him. I'm afraid he will ruin this wonderful life I have," he said, a lone tear falling as he brought up his hand to hold Elliot's in place.
"Why are you afraid of that, sweetheart?" Dani asked quietly.
"The nightmares. The same every single night. I try to sleep and then he comes and chases the gray away and the gold hurts so very much," Kurt whispered, beyond tired. His words were beginning to slur but his friends wanted to get to the bottom of his worries.
"Gray and gold?" Max asked from his other side.
"Elliot's gray eyes, Blaine's gold eyes. Elliot is warm and protects me and makes me happy. Blaine is painful, restrictive, hurtful and demanding. All I hear is that I'm a useless whore. A worthless sub. Each time, Elliot is pushed aside and Blaine takes me and all I can do is scream from the pain," Kurt said quietly. He wanted to crawl inside of Elliot where it was safe and warm. He'd had enough. He couldn't handle it on his own anymore. "Please help me," he begged softly. "I'm so damn tired of this crap."
Elliot wiped his own tears away as he cuddled Kurt into his arms, trying to draw him as close as possible. He wanted to strip them down to their skin and wrap each other up in the other. Nothing between them but the possibility of love. No fear, no threats, no harm.
"We are going to help you, sweetheart," Dani said.
"Sam, you okay?" Max asked out of the blue.
This whole time, nobody had noticed Sam had curled into herself in a chair, tears shimmering in her lilac eyes. "I can't fix him. I am his mind twin and I can't help him. What can I do? I feel so helpless," she said with a whimper. "I can't protect him like Elliot and Max. I'm not a big comforter like you, Dani. I just feel useless."
Dani went to her and cuddled with her in the chair. "You're nowhere near useless, Sami. We're all going to help him. Together. That's what we do, right? We've been there for you when you had that huge fight with Joseph. We've been there for Max when Julie broke up with him. We've been there for Elliot when he wouldn't stop using a gallon of hairspray," she said lightly.
"Hey now," Elliot warned with a grin.
Sam and Kurt giggled quietly.
"That's better," Dani said with a grin. "We will figure out a way to help Kurt. We'll make sure he eats more," she said, staring at Kurt pointedly from where he was cuddled into Elliot. "We'll stay with him at night if that is what it takes to keep the nightmares away. And we'll sing to him. Music always makes it better, right?" Dani pointed out.
Sam nodded and hugged Dani tightly.
"Music doesn't always make it better," Kurt murmured, suddenly remembering the video on Facebook.
"What do you mean, Porcelain," Max asked.
"Facebook again," Kurt whispered, almost embarrassed to admit he still let the damn videos get to him.
Max grabbed Kurt's laptop and hit play on the video that was still sitting there. Kurt buried his head into Elliot, pulling his blanket over his head. Elliot rocked him and hummed in his ear, even though he was listening to the video. Kurt didn't see the horrified look on Dani's face or the absolute rage on Max's and Sam's. Elliot just pulled him in tighter as if he could prevent any harm coming to him if he could only hold him closer.
"Kurt, look at me," Max said after they'd all read the comments and closed the laptop.
Kurt pulled the blanket down and turned his head, trying to stay as close to Elliot as he could.
"We will make you safe," Max stated in a tone that brooked no argument. "Do you understand? You will never be taken by the gold man, this Blaine person. You will remain here, loved by all of us, safe with us. Is that understood?"
Kurt was amazed. These people didn't know his story. They simply cared and were willing to help him in any way he needed it. He'd never felt more lucky and blessed then he did just then. He needed them to help him be strong through this and he knew they would be.
"I love you guys," he said, his voice stronger than it had been all night. "So very much."
"I love you, too, mind twin," Sam said, sniffling into Dani's chest.
"I love you too, Kurt," Dani said, giving him a gentle smile.
"You gotta know I love you, Porcelain," Max said with a wink and a grin. He got a chuckle from Kurt and felt ten feet tall.
Elliot took Kurt's chin and lifted it, directing Kurt's teary blue green eyes to his. "Look into my eyes, mon doux, and know that from the bottom of my heart, I love you. I love you as a person. I love you as a friend. And I definitely love you as a boyfriend," he said. He leaned down and covered Kurt's lips with his, the kiss soft and gentle, but full of real emotion.
Kurt pulled back just far enough to speak. "You love me as a boyfriend? A trial boyfriend?" Kurt hated feeling this uncertain, but he was. He felt like he was flayed open for everyone to see what was inside him. Though he knew he was loved, there was still room for uncertainty.
"I love you as my friend, my boyfriend, my love," Elliot said, giving him another sweet kiss.
Kurt's lips trembled as he fought against the tears burning in his eyes. "I love you too, Elliot, so damn much."
With that, the two locked into an embrace that was just them. Nobody else was there as their lips met and claimed each other. It was no longer sweet and soft. This kiss was demanding, passionate, a declaration of their love for each other. It was a new love, they both knew that. They still had much to learn about each other and from each other, but they were deciding to do it together. To go through life's ups and downs together as they came along.
"Holy crap, that's hot!" Sam exclaimed, doing her part to end their passionate interlude.
"Sam, shut up," Dani snapped.
"Well, it is. You can't deny it," Sam argued.
"She has a point," Max said, not ashamed to be leaning over to get a better view. Elliot and Kurt were hot and together, making out? Double hot. And no, he wouldn't think of that hot kiss and the tongues he got a glimpse of that night when he was alone in his bed. Really, he wouldn't.
"We need to sing a song," Dani announced after a minute.
"What song?" Max asked.
Sami smiled and began to sing, her beautiful alto tentative, but filled with emotion.
You and I must make a pact
We will bring salvation back
Where there is love
I'll be there…
Dani took over, holding Sami's hand and looking toward Kurt and Elliot, who had pulled away at the sound of her voice.
I'll reach out my hand to you
I'll have faith in all you do
Just call my name
And I'll be there
Max joined in as Sami and Dani sang the chorus.
And oh, I'll be there to comfort you
Build my world of dreams around you
I'm so glad that I found you
I'll be there with a love that's strong
I'll be your strength, I'll keep holding on
Yes, I will, yes, I will
Elliot broke in, tilting Kurt's chin up, gazing into his love filled eyes.
Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter
Togetherness, well that's all I'm after
Whenever you need me
I'll be there
I'll be there to protect you, yeah baby,
With an unselfish love, I'll respect you
Just call my name, I'll be there
Now they all joined in, Kurt's high clear voice ringing out in the room as his heart poured out with his friends, his family.
And oh, I'll be there to comfort you
Build my world of dreams around you
I'm so glad that I found you
I'll be there with a love that's strong
I'll be your strength, I'll keep holding on
Yes, I will, yes, I will
Don't you know, baby, yeah, yeah
I'll be there, I'll be there
Just call my name, I'll be there
Just look over your shoulders, honey, ooh
I'll be there, I'll be there
Whenever you need me
I'll be there
"Group hug!" Sami cried, and they all converged on the couch, encircling Kurt and making him feel safer than he ever had in his life.
. . . . . . . . .
Two months later, the band found themselves celebrating in California after winning the Live and Unsigned Band competition. It had been a long, hard road with endless rehearsals mixed with getting through mid-terms. They'd had to lean on each other for strength and the stamina to keep going. Kurt had painstakingly arranged the clothes everyone wore and the band let him, sometimes teasing him for being uptight. As it turned out, their clothes had added to their performances, which helped along the way. The band battle had been tough. Each heat of competition got more intense than the last. By the last round, they were working harder than ever, coming up with better songs and better ways to work them into their own style, making the songs their own. But they'd done it and when Ideal Misfits had been declared the winner, nothing could have topped the joy they felt. They were jumping, crying and hugging each other for at least five minutes before the competition host was able to gather them around for a short speech.
Kurt was filled with such joy and pride he could barely contain it. He had never felt as strong within himself as he had the last couple months. After his friends had rallied around him, he began opening up with Elliot when he was feeling insecure. His nightmares, the gold mist, had eased off as Kurt went to bed ready to conquer whatever appeared with the intent to hurt him. Elliot had spent several nights per week with him, kissing him and comforting him as he fell asleep. They were stronger as a couple and as friends since the intervention. It had opened doors of communication to embrace and share their fears. He had stopped watching the Facebook videos after that last one, which really helped him get over himself and Blaine's ability to instill fear in him and return to the strong version of himself that had the guts to get away from the asshole in the first place. Now, he gazed over at his gorgeous boyfriend, talking with the host of the competition, confident and proud, winning everyone over with his gregarious personality.
It was as Kurt looked out, smiling at the crowd, that he saw him.
In the audience, about ten rows or so back, the bright red shirt and striped bowtie caught his attention. Blaine was watching. Staring at Kurt. There was longing in his golden eyes, but also a hardness to his features that once would have made Kurt tremble nervously, but now just pissed him off. He shoved down the shock of seeing him and sent him a firm, arrogant stare, his brow raised imperiously. He would not allow this man to instill fear in him ever again. For a long moment, their eyes were locked, glasz and hazel gold. Kurt could see the torment deep in Blaine's gaze. He'd never liked seeing Blaine in pain, but now he could care less. He knew his expression must have reflected his feelings because Blaine suddenly looked sad, but almost insulted as if he were thinking 'how dare he not look at me with love'. Kurt twitched in anger and leaned into Max who was standing next to him.
Max grabbed his hand and leaned down. "Porcelain, you okay?"
Kurt glared at Blaine as he whispered, "Abusive asshole out there, main floor on the left, red shirt, bowtie." He knew Max would understand. During one of their marathon rehearsals, he'd finally shared his story with the rest of the band. They were his family and once he'd seen that Elliot hadn't judged him for leaving Blaine, he'd felt free to share with them. After embracing him, they had praised his strength to escape the abuser and let him know that he was not alone in knowing Blaine was in the wrong.
Max rested his large hand on Kurt's shoulder as his gaze swung out to the audience. Kurt could feel the hulking man next to him tensing and looked up at him. He barely held in a gasp at the dark, murderous fury reflected on his normally kind face, his hazel green eyes filled with a promise of malicious intent. Looking back out at Blaine, he saw the small man jerk backward and pale considerably.
Kurt couldn't help his vindictive grin and vaguely noted that Blaine had gained weight, his usual polo not fitting as flat as it used to, probably from comfort eating as he tended to do. When they'd been together his stress snacking had been tempered by boxing and long workouts. It looked now like he didn't work out at all. Kurt refused to let any sort of guilt take hold of him. It was not his fault if Blaine couldn't or wouldn't take care of himself.
Blaine's gaze was held by Max's for several tense moments. Finally, he turned his eyes back to Kurt, held his hand out to him like he wanted to take his hand. Kurt looked at him like he was crazy and shook his head firmly, his hands twitching with anger. Blaine's hand fell and he nodded before squeezing through the crowd and heading toward the exit, turning back once before leaving the building.
"Thank you," Kurt said, nudging Max.
"I could crush that little troll in the palm of my hand," Max snarled. "Lucky for him, he left when he did.
I don't want you to go anywhere alone until we're on the plane out of here." He gave Kurt a stern look.
Kurt held up his hands. "You won't hear any arguments from me." There was no way he wanted to put himself in a situation where he would confront Blaine on his own. Though by the looks of him and Kurt's new, stronger body – thanks to extra workouts with Max – he could probably take the shorter man down with little effort. A body that Elliot loved, especially in the morning when he did his push-ups.
At that moment, Elliot pointed to the band and introduced them. Max and Kurt snapped their attention back to what was going on and smiled. Kurt hoped the photographers hadn't caught that short interlude. He waved as he was introduced and then they were each given a chance to give a short hello and shout out.
Kurt took the microphone and turned to the crowd. "I just want to thank my family here on the stage. They took me in like the proverbial orphan and protected me and loved me and gave me a chance to be part of this band. I also want to say hello to my dad. I love you, Dad," Kurt said, giving a winning smile and wave to the camera and audience.
Afterward, they were joined by the judges and creators of the competition for a huge banquet where they were presented with the check for the fifty thousand dollar prize. It was a long night, but possibly the best night they'd had as a band.
Back at their hotel, they carried on celebrating on their own. They recounted the various performances and the amazing bands they'd come up against. They were still chatting when the sun began to rise. Soon after, one by one they curled up where they were and dozed off.
After sleeping until late morning, they made themselves get up so they could spend the day sightseeing. Kurt kept close to his friends, keeping an eye out for Blaine everywhere they went. Eventually, he was able to let go and enjoy the shopping and sights. It was a long day, but adrenaline and lingering excitement kept them going. Finally they got on a plane and headed back home to their familiar beds and lives.
. . . . . . . .
Kurt contacted his dad when he got home and let him know about the Blaine sighting.
"I'm glad you stayed with people. We have no idea what would happen if you ended up alone with him," Burt said.
"Do you think I should have talked with him? Some sort of closure type of thing," Kurt asked, hoping his dad would say no because he sure as hell didn't think so.
"That's up to you, son. Do you have something you are dying to say to him? Are you needing to be around him for a time to know that you don't need him in your life anymore?" Burt asked.
Kurt paused, really giving the questions some thought. He had nothing to say, except to tell Blaine to stop making videos, which Jeff told him were continuing on. Kurt figured it wasn't worth his time, so he'd let Blaine continue to embarrass himself. As for the question of him needing Blaine in his life? Hell no, no way. Never. His life was near perfect at this point. He had Elliot and his friends in New York and his friends and family in Ohio. His life was his own and he didn't need anyone telling him different.
"No," Kurt said with absolute certainty. "I've made my peace with his place in my history and there is no way I want him in my present or future."
Burt, on the other end of the phone, couldn't be more proud of his son. "Well, then, I guess that's your answer. Just keep living your life just as you are. I am so damn proud of you, Kurt. You have really taken control of your life, just as you always wanted to. You did it on your own," he said, his voice shaky.
Kurt disagreed. "You did help me, though, Dad. If it weren't for you, Nick, and Jeff, I wouldn't have been able to leave. I probably would have gotten caught by Blaine and who the hell knows what he would have done," Kurt said, shivering at the thought.
"Yeah, let's not think about the what-ifs," Burt said. "As for helping you, what else could we do? There was no way we were letting you stay. But we just dealt with the technicalities, you were the one who got the guts to pack your stuff and drive away. You could have changed your mind at any time and none of us would have blamed you. But you have a strength in you that is larger than fear," he said. His voice caught. "Your mother would be so proud of you, Kurt. She would be here cheering you on and praising every step you've taken toward living your own life. Keep that in your heart, son. Your mother and I supported you when you took your first step, when you designed your first outfit, and now, when you are grasping your life with both hands and living the hell out of it," he said forcefully, the words hitching in his throat.
Kurt sniffed, tears welling up in his eyes. He hadn't realized how much he needed to hear that. Hear that his mom would be just as proud of him as his dad. "Thank you, Dad," he whispered, a lump in his throat. "I love you so much."
"I love you too, bud. Call me soon, okay?" Burt sounded like he was barely holding on.
"Okay, Dad," Kurt said and they hung up. Kurt let himself give into his emotions for a moment, thinking of his mother and father. How he wished his mother was here so he could see the love in her eyes.
There was a knock on the door and Kurt yelled out for the person to come in. It was most likely some member of the band and he liked for them to just come in so they knew how welcome they were. He cleared his throat and wiped his eyes before the door opened.
"Kurt, love, you really should keep your door locked," Elliot said as he came in and sat next to Kurt. He leaned in for a kiss, their lips moving softly against one another.
"Maybe I should, then I could keep kissing singers out," Kurt teased, leaning in for another kiss.
Elliot kissed him then pulled back with a serious expression. "I mean it Kurt, I'd really like it if you would keep the door locked. This isn't the best neighborhood and we know at least one asshole who would like to come see you."
Kurt looked at him, trying to keep his temper from flaring. He knew Elliot was just coming from a place of caring. "I'm going to stay calm when I say this. Do not Dom out on me, Elliot. I appreciate your concern, but I will make the decision of how I keep my home safe on my own," he said firmly.
Elliot took a deep breath. "I understand that. What I need you to understand is that I can't stop myself from caring about you and wanting to keep you safe. I just can't. Being a Dom has nothing to do with it. I care about you just like I care about Sami, Dani, and Max. I would ask them to do the same thing for their safety."
Kurt paused for a moment, looking at him. He had to be honest with himself and realize that he still tended to see Blaine's actions everywhere, even when it was unnecessary. Rationally, he knew Elliot never went Dom on him and wouldn't, especially knowing Kurt's past. "I'm sorry, Elliot. Call it a suitcase from my baggage car. I know you aren't trying to get all Dom on me. I will keep the door locked. I just want you guys to be free to come in whenever you want," Kurt said sincerely, playing with Elliot's long fingers. "Maybe I'll just get you all keys."
Elliot ran his other hand down Kurt's face. "That would be fine. I just want to know you are safe. You are so special to me."
"You are special to me, too," Kurt said, looking at him through his lashes. "Want me to show you how much?"
Elliot's eyes darkened. "I'd love for you to show me."
Kurt leaned in and grasped Elliot's face in his hands.
. . . . . . . .
Several weeks later, Kurt got a call from his dad. He wasn't able to take it because he was in class, but hearing the message that it was urgent, he hurried out of the building and called him back.
"Hey buddy. I got a notice from the prison that Smythe is in," Burt announced abruptly.
"Sebastian?" Kurt froze suddenly.
"Yeah, him. It's actually good news, so don't freak out," Burt assured him.
"Okay," Kurt said, trying to concentrate on his breathing.
"It's taken freaking long enough, but they finally decided that the damn letter was indeed stalking and harassment toward you and he was sentenced to a further three years for it. So, all together, you've got at least seven years before you will have to worry about him. Mix that with the restraining order and you should have no problem being safe. His letters are now being looked over before they are allowed to be sent out. That's good news, isn't it?" Burt finished.
"That's wonderful news," Kurt said gratefully. Sebastian wouldn't be coming for him! "Thank you so much for letting me know. This calls for a celebration!"
So, that night, he invited the band over, along with Alex and Tim the nurse, whom he'd been talking with on and off over the past weeks. They stayed up late, drinking and telling nightmare stories and funny anecdotes about people they'd known. He stayed next to Elliot, soaking up his warmth and love. The night was perfect and Kurt enjoyed every moment. There was nothing more tying him down. He was finally able to trust people and tell his stories without fear. He was free.
. . . . . . . .
Another time jump ahead… How did Blaine feel when he got the brush off from Kurt? We will get Blaine's perspective!
What is going on with Kurt's Mark and what does it mean? Answers coming up….
Also… the end is nigh my friends! Probably 3-5 more chapters. Don't worry, all loose ends will be tied up!