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Michelle pulled the towel more securely around her and went in search of her pyjamas. After her meltdown on the bathroom floor she realised that by crouching on the hard tiles she was causing her body to contort and her ribs were screaming in protest albeit reluctantly she decided to get herself into the bath to ease the pain. She had sat there until the water went cold trying to calm her warring mind. Now that she was out she had to admit the hot water had done some good she no longer felt such a prominent stabbing sensation every time she breathed in it was still there but had faded into the background slightly. Picking her loosest comfiest pyjamas Michelle hurriedly pulled them on as fast as her sore and bruised body would allow and hastily made her way back into the kitchen.

Flicking the kettle on she leaned heavily on the kitchen counter part of her wanted to run and hide in her bedroom never facing the world again but the other stronger side was telling her to wait for Carla and talk. She needed to salvage some form of friendship for her to be able to survive in many ways Carla was all she had left Ryan was still in Glasgow at university her parents where in Ireland obviously no man in her life and that only left her nephew and Maria who wouldn't want or need her constant presence. Life without Carla just seemed to miserable and lonely to even contemplate so that's why brew in hand she was determinedly not moving from the kitchen counter until Carla walked back through that door however long that may be.

Glancing at the clock she was shocked to see that it was already coming up for 1 she hoped Carla would be back soon she felt worry run through her at the idea of Carla driving around Manchester at this time of night especially if she was in a state. Carla was hardly a slow a cautious driver and Michelle had a feeling that the accelerator would be getting good use tonight. Standing stiffly up from the counter Michelle carried her tea over to the couch and gently placed her mug on the coffee table tucking herself into the corner of the soft cushions she sighed and prepared to wait. Feeling a shiver run down her spine she grabbed the nearest thing she could to keep her warm. Wrapping herself in Carla's thick black jumper Michelle inhaled deeply instantly comforted by Carla's scent imbedded in the soft fabric. Tears welled in her eyes at her body's reaction how could she not have Carla in her life when all took was the scent of her for her body to instantly feel relaxed and soothed. Trying not to let her mind run away with her Michelle leant her head back and listened waiting to hear any sound that would indicate Carla had returned.

The streets were empty, deserted Carla felt like the only person for miles on her own, alone isolated. She laughed out loud at the irony that's how she felt about the situation she now found herself in how many people get kissed by their best friend of the same sex who for the first time the same day she kisses you you start having feelings for. Carla couldn't stop the laughter and before she knew it tears were rolling down her face she couldn't discern whether they were in humour or despair she just couldn't tell. She felt sick her hands were clammy and were shaking slightly and she just wanted to keep running and never look back. In this sort of situation usually she would just give the brush off pretend it didn't matter and figure it out in her own time then either go in for the kill or ignore said person completely. But this was Michelle she couldn't do that too her she couldn't just cut her out while she figured out her feelings they lived together worked together this wasn't something trivial that they could just brush under the carpet. Carla felt anger and irritation burn through her at how she had handled the situation she shouldn't have ran out like a coward but she just couldn't help herself whenever it came to matters of the heart she would always take the cowards way out and flee. Standing her ground for her business her family or her friends she found easy it was second nature to her but she couldn't do it for herself it always felt like her confidence had been sucked from her body leaving her open and exposed a feeling that she loathed and detested. Easier to run and hide than stand, fight and ultimately be hurt.

Carla replayed the kiss over and over in her head the way Michelle's lips had felt on her own soft, insistent electric she could honestly say she had never felt a kiss so tender and it both frightened and excited her in equal measures. The way Michelle had initiated the kiss was what was really puzzling Carla had Michelle been harbouring feelings for her just recently or for a long time. Recently Carla felt she could handle but if Michelle had been holdings these feelings for months years maybe Carla felt worry course through her at how out of her depth and scared that possible outcome made her feel.

Her mind was in tatters in her whole life she had never had a straightforward romance even her Paul had been cheating on her with prostitutes for years and she had never noticed. She had known that their marriage wasn't always a bed or roses there was conflict a lot of cold shouldering but ultimately she had thought nothing could tear them apart. Each relationship after Paul had been a disaster sometimes she wondered whether Paul had cursed her with his death. One spurned, one dead at the hands of another, one burned to death at his own hand an unrequited love on her part with an alcoholic and finally a rapist. Michelle had supported her through the majority of those awful times at the beginning it always seemed perfect but it soon turned to hell. Carla knew that Michelle was never going to turn into a possessive monster or fuck off and marry someone else while stringing her along at the side but at the same time if they committed to seeing where the road takes them what would happen if it didn't work she would not only lose a lover she could lose her best friend. Carla didn't think there would be any way they could salvage their friendship from a failed relationship and that terrified her she couldn't and wouldn't lose Michelle no way they had endured a rocky road to get to where they were now and she wouldn't throw that away on a moment's impulse.

Feeling the rising pressure of nerves in her stomach Carla pulled over into an empty car park and leant her head onto the cool leather steering wheel. All this going back and forth in her mind was making her head ache and her stomach churn the only way she would get an answer to her questions would be to confront the only person who could answer them and that meant going home and facing Michelle. Carla sighed and put her car in reverse and quickly manoeuvred off the car park speeding fines be damned if she didn't get home soon she would lose her bottle and she couldn't allow herself to let Michelle down couldn't be the coward any longer.

Michelle opened her eyes slowly the harsh living room light making her want to screw them tightly together again. For a moment she couldn't understand why she was asleep in the living room but as she stretched her body convulsed in pain and her brain flooded with images from the evening the factory, Frank, Peter, Carla ... Carla!. Michelle sat up as quickly as her body would allow and looked at the clock 10 past 2 her stomach clenched Carla had left just before midnight that was over two hours ago. Icy fear crept around Michelle's heart as her mind immediately settled on 2 conclusions neither of them more pleasant than the other. The first one which she knew deep down was irrational was that if Carla was as shocked and freaked out about what had happened as Michelle thought she could easily have been in an accident it would have been all too easy for her to have been distracted on the road. Unwilling her brain brought up an image of Carla's lifeless body being cut from the crumpled wreckage that was her car. Michelle shook the image away forcefully the more likely conclusion was that Carla couldn't deal with what had happened and had decided not to come home this conclusion was more hurtful to Michelle she thought that if they sat and talked things through they could at least salvage some sort of relationship. Michelle felt devastated not even tears would fall her mind was too stunned as her brain finally realised that she had almost certainly lost her best friend. With her head held in her hands she didn't hear the footsteps on the stairs or the key turning in the lock the click of the front door closing caused Michelle's head to snap up in surprise. She watched as Carla fiddled anxiously with her coat and bag placing them neatly on the kitchen counter once she had straightened each item at least twice she finally turned around leaning onto the counter for support she boldly met Michelle's gaze

"I think we need to talk".

"I'm sorry" Michelle could already feel the tears building and she angrily blinked them away she wasn't going to let the tears fall she needed to sort this properly without Carla pitying her. She couldn't bear the thought of Carla letting that particular emotion cloud her judgement she wanted Carla to be honest and tell her exactly how she felt.

"I should never have kissed you I was emotional and feeling alone scared but I should never have kissed you" taking a deep breath Michelle, ignoring the twinge of pain in her side, powered on if she didn't get this out in one go she wouldn't get it out at all. "I can't lose my best friend I need you so much sometimes I scare myself with the intensity and I'm sorry that I did something as stupid as what I did without thinking of the consequences, thinking of you"

"Babe -"

"No please let me finish" Michelle smiled shakily and one tear escaped its confines and trailed down her bruised cheek. "You have a right to be angry a right even to be disgusted with me but please forgive me let us carry on as normal and forget it ever happened" each word burnt a hole in Michelle's heart but if she couldn't have Carla as her lover then she would settle for friends, best friends tonight had brought her mind into focus she wasn't willing to lose her.

Carla stood stock still after listening to Michelle's words and Michelle began to worry

"Car say something" Carla's muttered response was lost in the deafening silence "What babe?" Carla took a deep breath and squared her shoulders "What if I can't forget about it".

Michelle choked and her whole demeanour sagged the tears came tumbling down her face Carla had only ever seen her look as devastated as she did now once before and that was when she had found out about Dean's death.

"You kissed me 'Chelle how can I forget that eh? My best friend kissed me that's something that I can't just forget sorry!" Carla's voice had increased in volume and she took a deep breath to try and calm her nerves she didn't mean to shout at Michelle but now she was home she felt as if the walls were closing in around suffocating her and she was beginning to doubt her belief that they could actually have this conversation.

"Please you have to, you just have to forget I can't live without you Car'. Think of everything we've been through we can get over this it was just a moment of madness" Carla ran her hands through her hair in frustration "Was it though 'Chelle? Was it just a moment of madness? You didn't pull back immediately after your lips touched mine did you no you carried on fucking kissing me!" Michelle's mouth gaped open and her mind went into free fall tell her the truth or lie god what do I do. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her head throbbed back and forth her she went between her options until her mind was a swirling mess.

Michelle's silence angered Carla she wanted no needed an answer. Now. "Fucks sake Chelle at least have the fucking decency to answer-"

"I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU!"

Michelle's heavy breathing echoed in the room and she gasped as she realised exactly what she had just shouted out loud. She forced herself to look at Carla and as she took in her shell shocked expression she felt her body crumple and she clutched the couch to keep her upright.

"How long?"

"Few weeks"

"What changed?"

"I don't know it just happened I can't say I just I" Michelle sighed hopelessly and gave up trying to lie and deflect there was no point she'd already lost were was the sense in holding back

"Chelle?"

"One night you'd had a nightmare about Frank and I'd come, calmed you down and got in your bed with you." Michelle looked at Carla for reassurance and Carla nodded sharply "You ... You were dreaming about Liam about being with Liam and well ..."

The colour from Carla's face drained she remembered that night she had woken up startled by Michelle's movement groggy but flushed and aroused. She never did know why Michelle was so off with her the morning after and if she was honest now thinking back it hadn't been right between them since.

"What did I do 'Chelle" Michelle was crying freely she didn't want to say, it felt wrong like she was accusing Carla making this her fault when it wasn't the blame lay solely with her for falling for someone she shouldn't have.

"You kissed me down my neck, on the lips I tried to stop you, stop myself but god I enjoyed it Car I kissed you back and I hated myself for it. When you called for Liam that's when I moved. I had to god I wanted you and you were calling for my dead brother! it's been killing me ever since knowing how your lips felt, how your body felt draped across my own ... It's been so hard Car'" Carla felt sick she had forced herself on Michelle and couldn't even remember it whether she thought she was someone else or dreaming or what nothing excused it.

"Car' I don't blame you if your shocked I shouldn't have responded I -" Michelle was cut off by the sarcastic laugh that Carla let out she was looking at Michelle with incredulity

"You shouldn't have responded? I shouldn't have done what I did. Do you know how disgusted I am with myself right now" tears started to roll down Carla's cheeks and Michelle felt her heart twist. "I have caused you heartache all because I can't fucking control myself. I get raped can't stand the thought of anyone touching me or even the idea of sex yet get you in my bed I'm game for a fondle" Carla continued to laugh hysterically "I'm a fucking disgrace you're standing there, apologising, wanting to sort this out and I'm the one who caused all this to start with. How can you even bear to look at me!?" Carla let out a strangled sob and twisted her hands into her hair while hiding her face.

Michelle wasn't having this of all the endings to this scenario her brain had thought up she never thought Carla would blame herself never. Limping forward she pulled Carla into a bone crushing embrace ignoring her body's protest as Carla's body weight rested on her sore ribs. Rubbing soothing circular patterns on Carla's back she tried to comfort her "How can I hate you eh? You couldn't help what happened you weren't even lucid, locked in your dreams. You couldn't have stopped my reactions, the feelings that it awoke" Carla buried her head into the crook of Michelle's neck and tried to ease her snuffling "We can carry on Car' it'll be fine. Tonight when you left I realised how much I would miss you in my life if you weren't here and I'm just not willing to let it go" leaning her cheek on Carla's head Michelle revelled in the feel of Carla in her arms.

"Can we though really cause I don't think we can" Carla took a deep breath and made up her mind if Michelle had the guts to be honest about her feelings surely Carla should come clean about her own. Pulling out of Michelle's arms Carla turned around leant against the kitchen counter she couldn't do this looking at Michelle's broken gaze.

"You have answered my questions and been honest 'Chelle and for that I'm so grateful now I think it's time for me to do the same" Carla took another steadying breath and faltered she heard, then felt Michelle move behind her wrap her arms around her middle and settle her chin onto her shoulder.

"Why can't we just carry on Car'" Michelle's breath tickled Carla's earlobe and she struggled to stop her body from shuddering at the sensation.

"After hearing what you said I don't think I can" she heard Michelle sniff and go to pull her arms away but Carla held her arms still "Tonight when you were at the factory I sat here wondering where you were. As I panicked and worried, I realised that what I feel for you runs deeper than just the love for a friend; even a best friend. Do you know how shocked I was when you kissed me I mean I start thinking I've got feelings for you that I shouldn't have and not 3 hours later your lips are on mine".

Michelle's body went ramrod straight she couldn't believe what she was hearing she couldn't breathe terrified if she made a noise she wouldn't believe the words coming from Carla's mouth convinced her head was making them up to appease her.

"I don't think we can go back to just being friends 'Chelle because right now and ever since I've been back in this flat all I can think about is how I want to feel your lips on mine once more"

Slowly Carla turned around and walked forward until was standing dead in front of Michelle staring deeply into her eyes. Michelle couldn't move for shock and she felt her stomach tangle in knots. Slowly Michelle tilted her head upwards slightly and waited anticipating Carla's next move hoping to God that she would put her out of her misery and kiss her.

Carla's breathing quickened and her eyes roamed down Michelle's face, her gaze settling on her lips. It was now or never Carla leaned in ever so slowly giving Michelle the opportunity to stop her but it never came.

Michelle's mind went blank and her eyes fluttered shut as Carla brushed her lips against her own tentatively and Michelle felt herself let out a shaky breath against Carla's mouth.
Noting that Michelle had not pulled away or recoiled in disgust Carla continued to kiss her applying more pressure and slowly she ran her tongue across Michelle's lips begging for entrance.

Michelle couldn't believe this was happening she had been dreaming of this for weeks and now it was finally happening she was in shock. Realising that up to now Carla had been doing all the initiating Michelle allowed Carla's tongue access to her own and she started to kiss back hungrily. Their tongues battled for dominance as the kiss became more heated and Michelle could hardly hold back a moan at the emotions Carla's tongue was creating inside of her. Reluctantly Michelle broke the kiss the need for oxygen becoming apparent and they stood there staring into one another's eyes as they both struggled to get there breathing under control.

"God that felt good"

Carla smirked at Michelle's response and she couldn't help the giggle that escaped which sent Michelle the same way they laughed loudly all the tension and stress leaving their bodies as they did so.

"So what are we going to do now" Michelle's voice was timid it was one thing to kiss and enjoy it but she needed to know what this all meant.

"I honestly don't know love let's just continue as we are but with kissing maybe?" Carla shrugged her shoulders and looked coyly at Michelle she felt like a silly schoolgirl.

"Yeah let's just see how it goes" Michelle pulled Carla into her arms her heart feeling lighter than it had in months she felt as if she could scream in happiness. Glancing at the clock she noticed it was quarter past 2.

"Car' love I think it's bedtime" Carla quirked an eyebrow in response and Michelle chuckled "Dirty minded bugger no look at the time" Carla leant forward and pressed her lips against Michelle in a firm kiss which delighted Michelle and caused her to immediately respond by coaxing Carla's tongue to join her own.

Breaking apart Carla chuckled breathlessly "Come on then come and get in with me" Michelle balked slightly and Carla laughed

"To cuddle! Get your mind out of the gutter Chelle" still giggling Carla made her way to her bedroom and Michelle shook her head smiling she had experienced one of the worst and most surreal evening of her life but also one of the happier times. Her whole body ached and throbbed the wounds inflicted upon her still raw but she had gone through hell and come through it fighting with Carla by her side just the way she wanted. Frank with his threats could, kindly, go fuck himself she had admitted to Carla her feelings and got all she ever wanted and more. "You coming or what?" hearing Carla's voice echo to her Michelle limped towards the bedroom body battered and bruised but heart and mind lighter and happier than they had been in a long time.