Options and Opportunities
Chapter 3
"You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be."
-Albus Dumbledore
"There is little time, one way or another," said Dumbledore. "So let us discuss your options, Draco."
"My options!" said Malfoy loudly. "I'm standing here with a wand- I'm about to kill you-"
"My dear boy, let us have no more pretense about that. If you were going to kill me, you would have done it when you first disarmed me, you would not have stopped for this pleasant chat about ways and means."
"I haven't got any options!" said Malfoy, and he was suddenly white as Dumbledore. "I've got to do it! He'll kill me! He'll kill my whole family!"
"I appreciate the difficulty of your position," said Dumbledore. "Why else do you think I have not confronted you before now? Because I knew that you would have been murdered if Lord Voldemort realized that I suspected you."
Malfoy winced at the sound of the name.
"I did not dare speak to you of the mission with which I knew you had been entrusted, in case he used Legilimency against you," continued Dumbledore. "But now at last we can speak plainly to each other…. No harm has been done, you have hurt nobody, though you are very lucky that your unintentional victims survived…. I can help you, Draco."
"No, you can't," said Malfoy, his wand hand shaking very badly indeed. "Nobody can. He told me to do it or he'll kill me. I've got no choice."
"He cannot kill you if you are already dead. Come over to the right side, Draco, and we can hid you more completely than you can possibly imagine. What is more, I can send members of the Order to your mother tonight to hide her likewise. Nobody would be surprised that you had died in your attempt to kill me- forgive me, but Lord Voldemort probably expects it. Nor would the Death Eaters be surprised that we had captured and killed your mother- it is what they would do themselves, after all. Your father is safe at the moment in Azkaban…. When the time comes we can protect him too. Come over to the right side, Draco… you are not a killer…."
Malfoy stared at Dumbledore.
"But I got this far, didn't I?" he said slowly. "They thought I'd die in the attempt, but I'm here… and you're in my power…. I'm the one with the wand…. You're at my mercy…."
"No, Draco," said Dumbledore quietly. "It is my mercy, and not yours, that matters now."
Malfoy did not speak. His mouth was open, his wand hand still trembling. Harry thought he saw it drop by a fraction. This could be his one chance to escape… but at what expense? Did he really have a choice? Would he honestly turn his back on his family, his whole life, for freedom?
"You assume that I want a different life… what if I don't want that? What if I want to be a Death Eater?" he tried to speak with conviction but even Harry could hear the doubt in his voice.
Dumbledore looked over his half-moon glasses at the boy in front of him, "Draco, if you truly want to be a Death Eater, then by all means, do it…. Kill me and take your glory. But if you think what you've witnessed this past year is wrong, if you believe that you have faced a great deal of injustice in your life at the hands of your 'Lord', then I offer you an opportunity to change, to lead a different life… a good life. Not the life of your father and your aunt, but one of morality and humanity."
It was more than he could have ever asked for… the generosity of the man he had loathed for so long shocked him. Hadn't he been wanting an out for a year now? An opportunity like this would never come again… the significance of this choice was pressing in on him and he found it impossible to think straight.
"But my mother, Bella, my father," his voice cracked on the last word. The look of pity and sadness on Dumbledore's face was what grounded him… this crazy old man genuinely cared about him despite his attempts to kill him, despite his father's past, despite that ugly mark on his arm. But still, could he drop every ounce of loyalty he had for this man's pity? "They would be so ashamed of me…" and to Draco's horror he realized he was crying.
Dumbledore just looked at him sadly, "You are a victim of circumstance Draco… No matter what you choose it will be impossibly difficult. Abandon your family, or abandon your morals," the silent tears continued to slide down his face, "But think about what you want Draco. I doubt very much that you will ever get this chance again and I do not want you to regret your decision, either way you choose. So I ask you, what kind of life do you want to live? And are you willing to sacrifice that life for a tradition that you could never control?"
And there was no mistaking it this time; Draco's wand dropped at least a foot. At first he thought that he didn't know the answer to this question, but every second he became more sure of what he wanted to do.
But there was one thing that he wasn't sure he could face, "But if I choose to go with you, everyone will hate me. The Order, the Death Eaters… everyone. I'll be a complete outcast," he said. And Harry's pity was real this time… he truly did feel terribly for the boy in front of him who had been forced into this life.
"I think, you will find that we are a more forgiving bunch than the people you've been forced to consort with…" Dumbledore said with a hint of a smile on his still sad face.
Draco was thinking furiously… he knew what he wanted to do. And he realized he had known for a long time now. But he kept on picturing his father's anger, his mother's disappointment and what he was sure would be pure hatred on Bellatrix's part when they would find out what he was considering doing. But weren't those the exact things he'd been trying to escape? That necessity of doing his family's bidding? The more he thought, the more certain he was that there was really only one choice. But then a sudden thought occurred to him.
"How do I know…. How do I know you're not just going to kill me the moment I agree," asked Malfoy his voice shaking.
Dumbledore smiled a real genuine smile. "You forget Draco, that we are not the villains in this story."
And that's what got him... any doubts he had had a moment ago suddenly vanished with that one comment.
When he finally found his voice he said, "A-Alright, I'll do it."
Dumbledore let out a sigh of pure content and held out his hand for his wand. Draco hesitated for just a moment, but then he slowly held out Dumbledore's wand and the old man took it. And at that very moment when both hands were on the wand the door behind them flew open with a bang. Bellatrix, Fenrir Greyback and two other figures stood silhouetted in the doorway. But with the agility of a practiced wizard Dumbledore created a shield charm so strong that it actually shook the air surrounding them and a glimmering wall, like living glass grew between the two groups.
"I'LL KILL HIM!" shouted Bellatrix but her voice sounded very faint like it was an echo. The pure fury on her face was terrifying.
With a flick of his wand Harry felt himself regain control of his limbs and he threw off his cloak. Malfoy gasped but didn't have time to dwell on the surprise. "Listen to me very carefully Draco, 12 Grimmauld Place, that is the headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix. Say it back to me, 12 Grimmauld Place," Dumbledore said in a rushed whisper.
"12 Grimmauld Place," Draco said back, the fear evident on his face.
"Harry, I'm going to block some of the protective charms on this tower so you and Draco can apparate there. It would be better for him to apparate side-along with you seeing as he's never been there. Wait for my, signal," Dumbledore said.
"Alright Professor," Harry said.
"Good, now take Harry's arm Draco and you'll apparate there immediately, you understand me?" he asked.
"Wait! My mother!" Draco blurted out, "Send someone to get her now, before they send a message to Him!" He glanced frightened at the group shooting curse after curse at the inpentrable wall, and Draco looked truly frightened at the prospect.
Without hesitation Dumbledore raised his wand and a silver phoenix flew out into the night. "She will be safe, I promise you," he said gently.
Then Draco nodded and reluctantly took Harry's arm which he was holding out. Dumbledore moved his wand in quick complicated motions and he nodded to Harry. He turned on the spot and they felt the uncomfortable pressure on all sides as they disappeared into nothingness.
The both of them collapsed in the street in front of the house, Harry gasping for air. He doubted he would ever learn to enjoy that form of transportation. Draco still looked shell-shocked as if he still couldn't believe what he had just done.
"Come on, hurry in case we were followed," said Harry, finding it very bizarre to speak to Malfoy with anything but contempt.
Draco obeyed and they both walked to the door of the house. Harry took out his wand and tapped the door, hearing metal scraping against metal as the numerous complicated locks undid themselves. They stepped into the semi-dark of the front hallway.
"Where are- " Draco began to ask but Harry quieted him by putting a finger to his lips. He jerked his head down the hall to where the kitchen was and the two boys walked in.
The house reminded him so much of Sirius… he half expected him to bound into the kitchen with a smile on his handsome face, greeting the two of them. "Sorry," said Harry coming out of his thoughts, "What were you saying in the hall?" Harry had pulled out two Butterbeers from a cabinet and with a tap of his wand they warmed up nicely.
Draco felt so thoroughly uncomfortable in this situation that he almost forgot how terrified he was for his mother or how ashamed his entire family would be of him. Because for that moment, there was nothing more strange then standing in the kitchen of this bizarre home, being handed a butterbeer by Harry Potter after having given up the opportunity to kill the greatest wizard of all time and replace Snape as the most beloved Death Eater.
"What is this place?" Draco said, taking the butterbeer reluctantly. "Thanks," he added hastily holding up his butterbeer.
Harry smiled tentatively for a moment after getting over the shock of being thanked by a Malfoy. "The House of Black."
Draco looked up surprised after taking a sip of butterbeer that warmed his belly. "The Blacks?" he asked, "Like Regulus? And Sirius?" And Draco was forcibly reminded of what happened to Regulus when he turned his back on Lord Voldemort. Regulus was always spoken of with disgust by his father and his friends.
"Yeah, Sirius gave it to us as Headquarters for The Order of the Phoenix," Harry said, a little surprised that he had referenced Regulus before Sirius, seeing as Sirius Black had been a renowned murderer.
Draco nodded, not looking at Harry. Surely he was just as awkward being forced into this situation. "I'm related to them you know… they're like my second cousins once removed or something like that…" Draco said and immediately felt stupid for it. Why had he said that? Harry nodded once and smiled that awkward unsure smile again.
But slowly, the truth began to set in. And Draco felt his stomach begin to churn as the significance of what he had just done hit him. He thought that the little butterbeer he had drank was threatening to make a reappearance as he felt hsi stomach tense. Slowly a crease began to grow between his eye brows and his eyes began to sting. This was beyond embarrassing; he was not going to cry in front of Harry Potter. But that seemed so inconsequential at the moment as compared to what he had just done. He felt so thoroughly alone… and the thought put a lump in his throat.
"Bathroom?" he asked, trying desperately to act casual, but the look of pity on Harry's face told him he was failing miserably.
"Yeah, it's upstairs on the first landing. But you have to be quiet so you don't wake up Sirius' mum's portrait… although I suppose she would love you," Harry said. Draco didn't bother to ask Harry to explain the bizarre instructions and instead left the room as quickly as he could. He rushed through the halls, took the stairs two at a time and managed to find the bathroom on his second try. The moment he was in the door he leaned against the wall and let the tears fall… and fall they did. Slowly he slid down the wall and sat on the floor, his head in his hands as he tried to stifle his sobs.
At this point, Harry had absolutely no idea what to do. He wanted to do something, comfort him? The idea was laughable. He wanted nothing more than to be back at Hogwarts and in separate common rooms from the boy who was crying in the bathroom but he obviously couldn't leave until Dumbledore came and told them what to do.
But some small part of him did feel indebted to him. And, despite all his prior knowledge of Draco Malfoy, he did think that Draco did this act out of something more than fear. He remembered seeing the white-faced Malfoy stalking through the halls, crying in the bathroom… it wasn't just a whim that had made him do this. He must have been questioning this for a while now.
So he sat there, waiting for his nemesis, sipping butterbeer. After about ten minutes, Malfoy returned looking like hell. His eyes were rimmed with red, his face was pink where he had scrubbed off his tears.
Suddenly Harry felt the need to tell him how grateful he was, how much it meant to him that he had given up everything he had fought for to do the right thing. The full significance of what Malfoy had done hit him. He had turned his back on his family, his beliefs, his entire life… so he wouldn't become a murderer.
"Thanks," Harry finally blurted out after what felt like an eternity.
Draco looked up from the spot on the table he had been staring at for some time now, his butterbeer forgotten, "For what?" he asked.
"For sparing him," Harry said. "It was really… brave," he said at last.
Malfoy let out a harsh laugh, "Brave? Not confusing me for a Gryffindor are you?"
Harry smiled weakly, and then a sudden thought struck him. "You know the sorting hat almost put me in Slytherin," he said suddenly. And he reddened feeling slightly ridiculous talking about this with Draco Malfoy.
Draco did something with his mouth that could be taken as a sneer or a smile, "I don't believe it."
"No, it's true," Harry said, latching onto the only available conversation. He wanted to distract him and this was much preferable to silence. "It told me that Slytherin would help me 'on the path of greatness' or something like that… and it probably would have put me in Slytherin if…" suddenly he felt awkward. Did he want to tell a Slytherin that he had begged to be in anything but Slytherin?
After a moment Draco asked "If what?" looking curious.
"If I hadn't asked not to be," Harry said finally. Malfoy didn't respond at first and Harry was suddenly extremely self-concious. Had he offended him already? within five minutes of their being on the same side? And then the idea that he was worried about offending Malfoy almost made him laugh. But this was clearly not the time.
There was a long pause before Draco finally asked, "Why are you telling me this?"
Harry felt truly embarrassed now. He shrugged, "I guess I'm just saying that not everything's black and white, you know?"
He did know. Being raised by a Death Eater and being forced to do a task that disgusted him at the threat of his and his mothers life had taught him that. Harry was looking at him, looking nervous. Of course, Perfect Potter thinks he's said something stupid, Draco thought.
"Stop staring Potter... I'm not going to tell you about how the Sorting Hat nearly put me in Hufflepuff," he said with a smirk, breaking the tension. And Harry laughed… and Draco laughed… and it was truly bizarre.
a/n: I usually don't do this but since a good chunk of this chapter was word for word from the book I'd like you all to know that I DO NOT own Harry Potter, believe it or not.
Thankyou for the reviews everybody! I feel like the quality of this chapter was lacking and more than a little rushed (I'm pretty bad at pacing stories)... but I'm on a roll in terms of updating and didn't feel like doing much more to it. For the record this will not be HarryxDraco or HermionexDraco or any other weird pairing with Draco, so I hope none of you were looking for that. If there's any romance it will be very mild HermionexRon but that's definetly not what this story's about.
And thankyou reidluver for using the phrase "a victim of circumstance" because I loved it and used it in this chapter... so you get all the credit for that.