As promised, it's long. Really long! Have a pillow for your aft and whatever you may need. Oh, tissues handy too. Please, enjoy.
Again, I thank everyone for their reviews. The Leo poll is still up and will remain up for a little while longer so go vote for the little lugnut's alt form!
Optimus
Elita told me the twins brought Kacey to our quarters. My child was in deep recharge and I hope would remain that way until morning. I told my love I'd be there shortly. I had to convey my thanks to Magnus. For my child to come home completely exhausted meant she must have had lots of fun today.
"Prowl, have Magnus report to me when you see him," I ordered through my communicator.
"He's still in the shuttle bay," Prowl responded. "Do you want me to contact him?"
"No," I simply said getting to my feet.
The walk from my office to the shuttle bay was thankfully brief and uninterrupted. My sensors immediately detected Magnus was still inside the shuttlecraft. My friend looked up at me with teary optics.
Primus, if everyone on the base was going to take the news this badly how was Kacey really going to react? Prowl even took the news bad. He actually had to sit down to compose himself.
"I'm sorry, Sir," he said, getting to his feet and wiping his tears away.
"No apology is necessary. I actually came to thank you for making my daughter very happy today. To feel her happiness within my spark brings me so much joy. And…" I paused, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'm truly sorry for any spark ache this has caused you."
"It was my pleasure," he smiled. "And I'd do it again if I had to. I…I just wish it didn't have to be this way. It's going to tear her spark up knowing she can't fly or drive."
"I know. But it is only temporary. She'll regain the abilities once she's older."
"Optimus, you know better than anyone how much this is going to affect Kacey. That youngling can't go a day without feeling the air blasting in her face, the road on her tires as she speeds. Being able to transform is part of what drives that spark of hers. You can see it in her optics! She lives for it."
"Yes, I know how precisely how much this is going to affect my daughter! And I don't like it one bit! But I have no choice in this matter! My daughter's life depends on going through this procedure!"
I took a step back recomposing myself.
"I'm sorry. I did not mean to lash out at you like that."
This time Magnus placed a hand on my shoulder for reassurance and smiled up at me.
"Even as a youngling you always had a good spark, Optimus. I'm glad to see it has never changed. And I'm glad to see that same goodness within Kacey. We Autobots thrive on the well being of our leader; when your spark aches, so does ours. You know each and every one of us is there for your family. You don't even have to give us an order."
"I may hold you to that," I smirked at him, making him laugh.
"So, I take it you wanted to see me for some reason. I know you didn't come all this way just to say thank you."
"I'm going to break the news to Kacey in the morning. Prowl is going to have an assembly of all the Autobots once Ratchet and Trion take Kacey in for the procedure. I want you to be with the twins. They're going to take this badly. As for our operatives in the field, each team will be briefed as they return to base."
"What about Bumblebee? He won't be returning to base for some time. And I know the twins will want to tell him."
"He is why I'm here. I have one last personal mission for you."
"Of course, Sir. I'll head out as soon as Prowl makes the announcement. I'll take the twins with me. I know they'll want to go for emotional support. Bee really loves that little femme and takes his duty as her favorite uncle very seriously."
"It's nice to see he's matured. A feat I didn't think possible when he was a youngling. Primus, he was worse than the twins put together!"
"Pfft, you were no better when you were Kacey's age."
I smiled outwardly while on the inside I was saddened to think that Kacey's antics might stop all together. She is so much like me it frightens me. She worries as I do. She even has terrible depressing moods as I do which, thank Primus, have not been often for her. But now…
"I must go to my family now, Magnus," I smiled, shaking his hand. "Again, I thank you for what you did today. It goes beyond the call of duty."
"Think nothing of it, Sir. I was just glad to help in any way I can."
With that, we parted ways. It was with a heavy spark that I had entered my family's quarters. Elita was there to greet me. To my surprise Orion was sobbing, clinging to his mother.
"What's wrong?" I asked moving quickly to sit beside her.
"He's upset," she replied out loud. Then spoke to me over our bond. 'He knows something's wrong. He told me his spark hurts.'
"The others?"
"Both recharging soundly already. It was a struggle to get Leo down though. He's troubled too but doesn't understand why. Ariel asked if Ratchet could make your spark feel better?"
I exhaled slowly staring blanking at the floor. My spark has been in so much turmoil today. I thought I kept it to myself. From my son's tears apparently I haven't. Breaking this news to my daughter is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I pray I have the strength to see it through.
"We're a family Optimus. We'll get our daughter through this together," Elita said, squeezing my hand gently.
"You're right," I smiled affectionately at her.
"You always worry too much, my love."
"I can't help it," I replied seriously, caressing my son's back as he seemed to quiet down now. "I have so much more to worry about than before. I have a family of my own that I am not willing to ever lose."
"I think he's finally in recharge," she whispered, glancing down at Orion. "Chromia will be by in the morning before they come out of recharge. I figured we can try to explain things to them while Kacey's having the procedure done."
"That's a good idea," I replied, gently lifting Orion from his mother's arms.
The little mech was finally in recharge.
"Try not to stay up all night worrying," my love told me as I rose to my feet, cradling our son.
"I'll be fine."
Elita knew me so well. After I put Orion to bed and check on my sparklings, I went into Kacey's room. The entire night I sat in the corner and simply watched her recharge peacefully. The entire night I fought to keep the torment within my spark to myself.
At one point I could not contain my tears. It was the only release I allowed myself. And by the early dawn I shielded my spark entirely. I did not want my sparklings to be upset and wake before Chromia came to take them. The same for Kacey, I did not want her to awake too early either.
"Optimus," Elita whispered from the doorway. "Ironhide's here. He's asking for you."
I rose to my feet, chastising myself for not telling Ironhide of Kacey's condition. He deserved to hear it from me and not from Prowl.
"Optimus, is something wrong?" he immediately asked when I entered the main living room. "You haven't been yourself the past few days."
"I'm sorry to burden you with my sparklings but it has been necessary."
"We don't mind them at all," Chromia smiled.
"Optimus, we should tell them," Elita suggested.
"I know," I sighed. "Prowl will be making the announcement later this morning. As you were once my guardian…"
"Last I checked I still am," Ironhide smirked, receiving a swat from his sparkmate. "Sorry, continue please."
"As my guardian you should be told about Kacey's condition."
Ironhide's optics widened in complete surprise.
"It seems her abilities to transform, cloak, and dampen her every readings have essentially stopped her remaining systems from developing as they should. Trion and Ratchet believe that if her transformation and defense systems are taken offline that she'll develop normally like other younglings. She won't be able to transform. She won't even be able to fly. But she will grow up as we all do and when the time is right will regain her transformation and defense abilities."
"She's not going to like that one bit, even if it's temporary," he frowned. "How's Ratchet going to do it? I mean, the only way would be to…"
He stopped, dropping his head slightly. He knew what had to be done.
"No," Chromia gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. "They're not taking her offline are they?"
"It's the only way," Elita said.
"Trion, Ratchet and Wheeljack will be there to perform the procedure. I have every confidence in them. Ironhide…I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. My processor has been preoccupied of late."
"Think nothing of it," he responded, pulling me into a hug. "I understand. We'll take care of the little ones for as long as necessary. And if you need me I'll be there for you."
"Thank you, that means a lot to me. Now please, if you can take my sparklings before Kacey wakes. I still need to tell her."
Ironhide and Chromia made quiet work of collecting my sparklings. They continued to recharge away as they were carried from our quarters. As Ironhide and Chromia were leaving Ratchet and Trion arrived.
I noticed the exchanged glance between my two guardians. A look I've seen often from the two old friends as I was growing up. What it meant I still may never know. They don't tell me everything and tend to treat my like a youngling from time to time. Yet this look comforted me. I now know that my guardians have extended their caretaker responsibilities to my daughter…and my family.
"This isn't going to be easy, Optimus. Perhaps I should tell her. I am her doctor."
"No, Ratchet. I it is my responsibility tell Kacey."
"Tell me what?"
We turned to see Kacey yawning even as her battle armor slid into place. She always stood so tall and proud. Her Autobot insignia was like a blazing red beacon between the blue chest plates for all to see. She never covered it up, not even in her protoform. I think I'm going to miss her antennas the most. Kacey always looked as if she were in motion the way her antennas were slanted back.
"Come here, sit with your mother and I. I have something to discuss with you."
Kacey's optics slowly moved from me to Ratchet and Trion then back to me. She stared up at me for the longest moment before her normal soldier straight posture sagged and her head dropped down. My spark clenched within, she was too smart to not know something was wrong.
"What did Trion and Ratchet find?" she asked softly not moving.
"It seems your transformation and defense systems have had an unexpected side effect on all your systems," I answered.
She looked up at me, confusion apparent on her faceplates.
"But I feel fine."
"For now you would. But in a few more weeks…I'm afraid you won't," Ratchet chimed in.
"You see my child, your transformation systems have caused the development of your others systems to slow to the point where they've almost stopped developing all together. It has even affected your growth rate."
"So what…I stop transforming and everything will be alright?"
"It's not that simple, Kacey," Trion spoke gently, moving to kneel before my daughter. "I thought my modifications to your programming were perfect. I was wrong. Now I need to go back and undo what I did."
The fear began to swell within my daughter's spark. I instinctively reached to her with my own only to feel her push me away. Sometimes I wish she wasn't as intelligent. Knowledge can be a frightening thing.
"You're going to take me offline? Is there no other way to fix me?"
"I'm afraid not, Kacey," I said. "You're mother and I…"
"So this is why you've been so sad the past few days?" she demanded angrily of me.
"We decided it was best to let you fully recover first before telling you," Elita answered, moving to my side.
"Gee, thanks, mom! That makes me feel so much better! How could you keep something of this importance from me? Isn't it my life we're talking about? Do I have any say in the matter?"
I was at a loss for words. I was not expecting my daughter to be so hostile towards us.
"Kacey, there is no choice in the matter," Ratchet spoke calmly. "Whether you were told upon our discovery or now, the result is the same. We must take you offline to fix the problem."
"Believe me child," Trion continued, resting a hand on Kacey's rather agitated form. "I tried to find another way."
"Then why did you do this to me in the first place if you were going to frag it up?" she growled, shoving his hand away.
"I am truly sorry. But we must take your transformation and defense systems offline."
Kacey optics widened in fright. Her spark started racing. Tears started streaming down her faceplates.
"No, you can't do that," she wept. "Father, please don't let them do that!"
"I'm sorry, Kacey," he cooed, kneeling before her, my hands gently resting on her shoulders. "It must be done. But it is only temporary. In a dozen or so years you will be able to transform again."
"What if you don't take my transformation systems offline? What will happen to me?"
"There is a strong possibility you'd cease to function," Ratchet answered solemnly.
"I'm screwed either way," she responded.
"Returning your transformation and defense systems back to their original program and giving you a systems wide reboot will enable your systems to develop normally," he explained.
"And my growth rate? Will I grow as well?"
"We're not sure how much of your growth rate will recover."
"How much will I grow?"
"I don't know, Kacey."
"HOW MUCH?"
"I'm sorry, Kacey we're dealing with something new here," Ratchet explained. "I'm not sure. You could fully recover and grow to your expected height or…"
"I won't grow at all," she finished turning away.
"There is no shame in being small," I told her.
She forced her way out of my arms, standing before me.
"How would you know father? How can I be Prime if I'm a runt like Leo?"
"Kacey!"
"No, mother! I know my history well. There has never been a Prime smaller than father!" Kacey turned, tears streaming down her faceplates as she looked up at me. "How can I instill confidence in my fellow Autobots if they have to look down to me? How can I ever hope to protect them if I can't protect myself?"
Kacey tried to run. Ratchet managed to grab hold of her picking her up off the ground.
"LET ME GO!" she screamed, wildly swinging her arms and legs to break free. "PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOWN YOU FRAGGER!"
"Ratchet, put her down," I ordered, trying to remain calm for my child's sake.
Trion wisely kept clear of Ratchet and actually moved to block the door. Kacey noticed but it did nothing to stop her from frantically struggling to get away. I could feel the furious pulsing of her spark. She was terrified.
"Ratchet, please, put her down," I reiterated more firmly.
"Kacey, please sweetie, try to be calm," Elita said as Ratchet set Kacey's feet on the ground.
Our child was anything but calm. She tried to get out only to be thwarted by Trion and Ratchet blocking the door. I hated to do this, but something had to be done to calm her so Elita and I tried to coral her as best as we could. Kacey ducked and dodged our advances, finally escaping between my legs and raced to her room, locking herself in.
"Let's just give her a few minutes," I suggested, trying to calm my own spark.
My hand trembled slightly as I reached to pull Elita close to me. Both of us were so terrified for our child. I could not stop my tears nor could my love stop hers. I wasn't prepared for my little Kacey to react that way. It felt like my spark was literally twisting into knots within its chamber.
"What will we do?" Elita wept.
"We'll give her a few minutes," I answered, holding her close. "Then we'll go together to get her."
Jim Spielman
I groaned in frustration rubbing my tired eyes. It was yet another long night with failed simulations and no solutions on how to fix my new algorithms. Another fucking set back and I was nearly back to square one.
"Perhaps my creator needs some rest."
I leaned back in my chair to see RX-134 standing a few feet from my desk. I was curious. It had never made that type of comment before.
"How did you come up with that conclusion?"
"I have observed my creator working many long hours. From what I understand, you need rest much like I need to recharge my batteries at the end of each day."
Now that was interesting. Being observant was not part of its basic programming. Nor was coming to its own conclusions about things. It was programmed to clean up a mess if it saw one and obey my commands.
"Is that not a correct assessment?" it asked me.
"It's correct," I frowned thinking another one of my projects has gone awry.
Rest.
I did need some rest even if it was for a few hours.
"Plug in. I do not need you now," I ordered RX-134. "And do not speak unless spoken to from now on."
"Yes creator."
Grabbing my jacket and keys I then limped to the elevator. The ache in my leg was more prominent than usual because of the long hours I had worked. A good meal and a long rest would do me well. My secret lab has served as my home ever since escaping from the home my Government tried to place me in. I made sure I was not followed for three days before coming here.
It was secret and I planned on keeping it that way.
Still, it lacked the comfort of a home. While the bed was more than adequate, I did not have a kitchen just a refrigerator and microwave. My meals were from the nearest dinner either by way of one of my guards getting it for me or by dining there myself.
It was nearly six in the morning. Breakfast sounded terrific to me as I climbed into my car. I was about to start the engine when my cell phone rang. I recognized the caller's unique id. No Earth cell phone ever left it. Perfect timing too. I had many questions that needed answers.
"Kacey, isn't it a little early?" I chuckled.
"Jim, I sorry…Bee wasn't answering…I had to talk to someone who could possibly understand. They're going to take everything I love away from me!"
It was still astonishing to me that these machines had emotions. Kacey was crying and sounded hysterical.
"Kacey, please, try to calm yourself. You're not making any sense to me."
"My father, he gave Ratchet permission to take to take my transformation and defense systems offline! I won't be able to fly, drive…I won't even be able to defend myself properly!"
Any tiredness I had faded. I was eager to hear more. But I had to probe carefully. I couldn't risk upsetting Kacey anymore. I need to pick that processor of hers for my work.
"First of all, you father said for this to happen? Why?"
"They said my transformation and defense systems are affecting my development. That if my programming is not returned to its original format there's a possibility I could die! But not being able to fly…or drive…"
I allowed it to sob for a few moments. In away, I understand what flying and driving meant to Kacey. It was freedom. And it was fun.
"Let me see if I got this right. From what you told me, your programs were altered to that you could survive. Now this alteration is causing a problem in your development. If the programs are returned to their original format you become…a normal child."
"Yes," it wept.
"So you'll grow like the others. You'll regain your transformation systems…"
I stopped. It's crying only intensified. Nothing I said was going to make Kacey feel any better. But it was a machine. So, I tried it from a logical point of view.
"You said your father gave permission?"
"That's right."
"Forgive me for being naïve. I don't know your father as well as I know you. But he's your father. He loves you very much. I have seen that much. Father's always want what's best for their children. Now, if he gave his permission then this is very important."
"But I won't be able to help my fellow Autobots! I'd be useless without my transformation and defense abilities. What if Leo fell again? How could I save him?" it choked and sobbed out.
"Kacey, you're going to just have to trust that your father knows what is best for you. I know…I know I would be sad if anything happened to you."
There was a long silence.
"You would?"
"Of course, we're friends, are we not?"
"Yes," it sniffled.
"You're very intelligent and will figure out other ways to help. And you're not useless to me. Who else will help me correct my algorithms?"
I remained quiet for a moment to let what I say settle in.
"Now be a good daughter and do as your father says. Ok?"
"Ok."
"That's a good…girl. Now, I have some work to do. Call me when you can and let me know how everything went."
"Ok Jim. Thank you."
"Promise to call me."
"I promise, Jim."
The connected turned to static as Kacey disconnected the communication. I immediately got out of my car. My mind was racing with ideas and things that needed to get done and done fast!
"Forget something, Dr. Spielman?"
"On the contrary," I replied. "I'm sorry, what is your name again?"
"Hank, I'm the head of your security."
"Excellent. Hank, I need twenty of your top guys to report to me later this afternoon. Also, I need a big moving truck about twenty-six foot long should do with freezing capabilities. And someone who can drive it! I mean I want the best driver possible. The possible cargo will be very precious and I wouldn't want it damaged in anyway."
"Possible cargo, Sir?"
"Let's just say I gambling on a hunch here."
I smiled. If I played my cards right I could…
"I'll get the men you need and I'll be your driver," Hank said, interrupting my thoughts. "I used to drive trucks for my dad's business when I was younger."
"Perfect. Oh and tell the men to them to pack for…five days. I'm hoping it won't take longer than that. The drive there is short. Oh, one more thing, I need an off-road vehicle capable of driving through snow."
"I know just what you need, Sir."
I left Hank to do what I asked and hurried back down to my lab. Once there, I made a list of what I needed to get done. Everything had to be perfect if I was going to pull this off.
The only hitch was Kacey. It was an intelligent mechanism with a will of its own. However, under its current emotional state, I felt with the right words of persuasion I could get it to do what I wanted. I had done it before. And with its transformation and defense systems offline I could easily incapacitate it.
One way or another, Kacey was going to help me with my work.
Elita
For fifteen minutes Optimus and I stood outside Kacey's locked door. Both of us quietly calling her. Both of us reaching out to her with our sparks, giving her our love.
Our calls went unanswered. Our love was turned away.
My spark was in agony. I did not need for Optimus to say a word to me for I felt his agony as well.
"Kacey, please my child," Optimus spoke softly again. "Don't turn us away. We love you so much. You know this. I know you feel it in your spark."
Again, nothing.
"We could just blast the door mechanism to unlock it," I suggested.
"No, she must come out when she is ready. I've learned that I can't force you or Kacey into anything. She will come out on her own."
"Or let us in," I said, nodding towards the door lock.
The light was now green. The door was unlocked.
"Are you ready?" he asked, taking hold of my hand.
"Yes."
Optimus opened the door. My spark sank as we saw Kacey's curled up on her bed crying. With a gently squeeze of my hand he then led us to our child's side. We both sat down, one on each side of Kacey's vulnerable protoform.
"My sweet child, we love you so much," I whispered to her, caressing her damp faceplates. "We only want what is best for you."
"We were as upset as you were when we found out about this," Optimus added.
"Was that why Magnus took me off the base to go racing with the twins? So that I could have fun one last time…before…"
"Yes," he answered, gently turning her onto her back. "I am your father. Do you think everything you do goes unnoticed by me? I'm not perfect as a father. I'm sure there are some things you get away with. I don't mind as it is a part of growing up. I allow some things to be because I know how happy they make you. Nothing brings me greater joy in this universe than the happiness of my children and my sparkmate."
"And we know you are well taken care of," I continued. "Bumblebee, Sunny, and Sides would gladly give their life if it meant saving yours. They love you so much. You are too important to all of us."
"I'm scared," she wept. "I don't want to be taken offline."
"I know," I cooed, taking her into my arms. "I am too. But it needs to be done, sweetie."
Her form trembled against my body. Optimus let out a long sigh as he caressed Kacey's back affectionately. Our optics locked onto each other for a long moment. I nodded to him.
"Are you ready?" he asked, taking Kacey into his arms, cradling her.
"No," she answered, big tears slowly falling. "I don't think I'll ever be ready. But I do understand…it must be done."
"Everything will be alright, my child," he whispered into her audio receptor.
Kacey hands clutched tightly onto Optimus' chest armor as he rose to his feet. Again we shared a glance and nothing needed to be said.
I hurried out into our main living quarters to see Ratchet and Trion waiting patiently.
"She's as ready as she'll ever be."
"Good, I've had Prowl keep the hallways clear," Ratchet informed me. "We'll be undisturbed as we head to the Med Bay."
"What about you, Elita? Are you ready?" Trion asked.
"No. I'm her mother. I love her so much. You don't plan for this sort of thing as a parent. So of course, I'm not fragging ready!"
"I'll take good care of her, I promise," Ratchet said, comforting me with a hug.
"Let's go," Optimus said arriving beside me.
My little sparkling was trembling more than ever now. Her face buried in Optimus' chest. The sounds of soft whimpers filled the hallway as we hurried to Med Bay. I found it difficult to calm her racing spark when I was just as terrified. Only Optimus somehow managed to keep some relative calm between us all. He alone kept me from totally losing control to my fear.
Only all calm was lost once we reached the Med Bay and tried to lay Kacey down. She whimpered and cried so much like a sparkling refusing to let go of Optimus armor. I could not stop my tears as she struggled to stay in her father's arms.
Mine wasn't the only spark aching. I could see the torment in Wheeljack and Trion's faceplates. In Ratchet's I could see how sympathetic he was towards Kacey. His tears told me of his torment.
"Kacey, we're going to put you into stasis first," Ratchet said, standing close as he could but not touching her.
"No…I don't want to…I'm scared!" she wept.
"I know child. You have every right to be frightened," he continued, his hand gently taking hold of her arm to give her the injection. "I swear I will take care of you. You will come out of stasis. I promise."
Kacey wrenched her arm free from Ratchet's grasp, cramming it tightly between herself and Optimus. I covered my mouth, weeping at her sparkling like wails of desperation.
"Elita, her arm please…I can't take this much longer," Optimus begged with tears welling up in his optics. "Ratchet, be quick about it."
It was a struggle. For a youngling Kacey was rather strong. Not that it surprised me. She was designed that way. It still didn't make it any easier.
"Keep it steady!" Ratchet exclaimed as he quickly inserted the needle into the energon line in Kacey's forearm.
My daughter let lose an audio shattering scream as if it hurt her.
"Done…it will take a few minutes," the CMO said, moving away, his hands shaking as badly as mine.
Optimus suddenly started humming to Kacey. I recognized the favorite lullaby he often hummed to any one of our sparkling when they were in distress. Like on those occasions, our sparkling started to calm down. Her optics focused on his face and she started to purr instead of cry. And when he spoke he spoke to her in our language, telling her how much he loved her, how she was a bright and beautiful light in his life.
I moved beside him reiterating the same words of affection, sending my daughter all my love through our bond as I caressed her face. My tears flowed freely when she returned her love to us.
The three of us clung on to feeling for as long as possible until Kacey's bond to us weakened. Her optics slowly dimmed. Her arms and legs went totally limp and he head dropped back.
"She's in stasis now," Ratchet spoke softly, resting one hand on my shoulder and the other on Kacey's head.
"Take good care of my little sparkling," Optimus whispered, transferring Kacey into Ratchet's arms.
"I promise you both, she will be alright."
Ratchet's words did little to ease the suffering within my spark. Nothing could make Optimus or I feel any better as we held each other close, weeping for our sparkling. Only one thing in the universe could ease the ache within our sparks and that was to have our sparkling back safely in our arms.
Prowl
My spark clenched tightly within his chamber. Not even before my very first battle did my waste tanks churn so badly. And I could not stop my tears when I explained to my fellow Autobots of Kacey's condition and what was being done to correct it.
Their shocked reactions, their tears and sudden prayers only intensified the emotions I felt within. Even though she would be a normal youngling and would eventually regain the abilities she loves it did nothing to calm any of us. It was a truly terrifying morning for us all when that little femme was in the Med Bay. To be taken offline was…
No, I cannot speak it. I don't want to think it. Yet I couldn't get Kacey's terrified scream out of my processor when I happened to walk into the Med Bay as Ratchet was putting her into stasis.
"Prowl, what will we do if she…"
"Don't say it," I said firmly to Sunny, pulling him into an embrace and fighting my tears.
I pulled Sides in too. Holding their trembling forms so close reminded me of the day I found them. They were so tiny then, so fragile. Two little younglings, frightened to death, starving for energy, so relieved to see a friendly face.
Both of them clung tightly to me now just as they did so long ago. Both of them shed tears now as they did so long ago. I held them, wishing I could do more to ease their suffering as I was able to do so long ago. I held them, wishing I had someone to ease my own suffering.
I wept harder.
Oh, how I miss Jazz during such moments as these. He could always turn my despair into hope, my sadness into happiness. If he were here now I'm sure he'd kick my aft, than pull me into a hug and remind not to be so pessimistic, that Ratchet would take care of Kacey, that Trion would make her better than before.
"Jazz would remind us all that things happen for a reason, that what knocks us down only makes us stronger when we get up," I smiled softly, pulling away from the twins. "That you can't keep a good Autobot down no matter how hard or how far they fall."
"I think even the energetic Jazz would have had a hard time keeping up with Kacey though," Sunny chuckled.
"But that wouldn't have stopped him from trying," Sides added with a warm smile.
"No it wouldn't," I agreed. "He never gave up on anything. He was always there for me whether I wanted his help or not. He was always there for anyone. I think we need to be there for Kacey whether she asks for our help or not. She'll have some rough days ahead of her until she adjusts."
"Might be easier if her favorite uncle was around," Magnus said as he came over to us. I noticed he had remained nearby, that he was comforting the twins when I delivered the new to everyone. "I have orders from Optimus to personally tell Bumblebee the news. I need two volunteers to accompany me."
Both the twins look expectantly at me.
"Take a shuttle," I ordered Magnus. "I think Bumblebee will want to get back here as quickly as possible."
"Come on Mags!" Side said slapping him on the shoulder before taking off with his brother.
"No wonder Kacey gets along with the twins so well," Magnus laughed. "They still act like younglings."
"You'd better hurry before they wreck a shuttlecraft."
"Be back as soon as we can," he nodded then hurried after the twins.
I turned and headed towards the Med Bay. With as much as it pained my spark, I needed to be there regardless of the outcome. I needed to be there to support my Prime and his bonded sparkmate. I simply needed to be there in the hopes that the procedure was a success and I'd know right away that Kacey was going to be alright.
Ironhide
Leo woke up crying and upset. My spark ached when he kept hitting his chest where his spark casing was located. It was obvious he felt something was wrong. He didn't yet have the means to communicate the pain he felt within his spark.
So I did what I do when either of my sons wept. I held the tiny mech close to my chest and comforted him as best as I could. The poor little sparkling trembled and clung to my armor as he wept.
"We need to tell Nitro," I sighed, looking at my sparkmate as she sat on the edge of our recharge bed.
"He'll be waking up soon," she replied sadly, rising to her feet and moving to my side. Her hand tried to sooth Leo's trembling form. "Do you want me to tell him?"
"No, I will."
Silence fell between us. Our optics focused on the tiny sparkling as he whimpered.
"In all my long life I never thought I'd ever be a father. Never thought I was a good enough mech to be a father. Too much of a soldier."
"Yet, you're a wonderful father. Both our mechs will grow big and strong, have good aim, and be able to rip a Decepticon's aft apart with their bare hands."
"I'm not sure they get all that from me," I laughed at her.
"That's true," she smirked. "I have been known to rip apart an aft or two when provoked."
My smile slowly faded. I stared apologetically at her.
"What?" she asked, reaching to touch my face.
"I know you've wanted to have another sparkling. You drop those subtle hints every so often. Only, in light of what's happened to Kacey. I think we should hold off."
Chromia dropped her hand. I could feel her disappointment. I sent her my love over our bond for I didn't want her to feel this way.
"Kacey is like our child," I explained to her. "She's the daughter of our Prime, the successor of our leader. She is everyone's responsibility. More so to me because of the lugnut Ratchet and I helped to raise."
"You feel your responsibilities as Optimus' guardian extend to Kacey," she commented.
"Yes. Kacey is so much like Optimus. I worry for her. I never told you, but Optimus nearly died on the surgery table after his brother tried to kill him. His spark nearly extinguished because he gave up on living. Ratchet refused to let the young mech die. His recovery was not easy. He wallowed in his depression. No one could reach him. Optimus felt…alone, unwanted. It's a horrible feeling for a youngling."
"My spark ached for him. No youngling ever deserved to be left for dead and abandoned in such a manner. Sentinel felt responsible for not seeing the signs of Megatron's betrayal sooner. Frag, we all did."
"I never wanted to be responsible for a youngling before that day," I told her earnestly. "Yet, I'm telling you that if Sentinel hadn't adopted Optimus as his own I would have. I saw the lugnut was something special. Just as I see how special Kacey is to us all."
"And right now, the little femme is going to need us for support. It is my responsibility to see that she gets whatever she needs. Please, my love, I hope you can understand why we must delay in having another sparkling."
Chromia stared up at me intently. A warm smile fell across her face.
"I knew there was some reason other than your abilities as soldier that I loved you. You have a good spark, Ironhide. I'm so glad to be bonded to it. Here, give me Leo. Wake Nitro. I know he will want to know what's happening to Kacey. Then go be with Optimus. I know it's where you want to be right now."
"Everything will be alright, Leo," I cooed to the little mech as Chromia cradled him in her arms. "Thank you my love, for understanding."
I felt her love for me through our bond as I kissed her tenderly on the forehead. It lingered within me while I headed into Nitro's room. My eldest son was just coming out of recharge and I didn't hesitate to send him my love.
"Morning father," he smiled.
"Morning my son," I replied, sitting on the bed beside him. "Nitro, I have something to talk about with you. It's about Kacey."
"Is she alright?" he immediately asked sitting up, the worry and concern for his best friend so apparent in his faceplates.
"I'm going to be honest. Kacey is not alright at the moment. It seems her transformation and defense systems have caused a dangerous side effect. Ratchet is working with Trion to fix her. But in order for them to do so they have to take Kacey offline."
Nitro gasped loudly. His optics widened in fear then filled with tears. Ah, so he did know what offline meant. I wasn't sure and dreaded having to explain it to him.
"I can assure you that Ratchet will not let anything happen to her," I said, pulling him onto my lap and holding him close. "If you like, you can accompany me to the Med Bay."
"Is she there now? What exactly are they doing to fix her?" he asked, wiping his tears.
"Yes, she's there now. They're…they're going to take her transformation and defense systems offline. Kacey will no longer be able to drive or fly as she does now. She will be…"
"Like me and the other younglings?"
"Yes. She will grow up as you will and regain her transformation abilities when the time is right."
"We'd better go then, father. Kacey's going to need me. I'm her best friend. She's not going to like it that she can't drive or fly anymore."
"You're such a good little mech," I grinned, kissing the top of his head. "I'm proud of you."
I found it rather amusing and spark warming how Nitro was so much like me. He took care of his friends as I do, never hesitating to defend them when necessary or be there for them whenever they needed it.
He stood at my side worrying for Kacey as much as I did when we arrived at the Med Bay. He even spoke kindly to Optimus and Elita, conveying his deepest desire for Kacey will be alright. Thankfully he gets such mannerisms from his mother. Primus knows I'm not one for words!
Not that words always needed to be exchanged between Optimus and I. A simple hug spoke volumes of what Optimus and his family meant to me. And like when he was a youngling, Optimus always returned the sentiment, always appreciating what I had to give to him as his guardian.
Ratchet
When attending medical training I was taught to be objective, rational, not get personally involved, and to never let my emotions get the better of me. Every patient was to be treated the same without exceptions.
Experience taught me to be understanding of my patients' emotional needs as well as their medical ones. My personal involvement with each patient helped me to focus and keep them alive when necessary. And while some patients meant more to me than others, I never once gave up on a patient, exhausting all possible options until none were left. And even then I never gave up until their spark was extinguished to the point I couldn't bring them back.
Time taught me wisdom, knowing when to show my emotions, when to keep them hidden, which patients needed me to be firm. And on the rare occasion when I had to have one dragged to my Med Bay at gun point and strapped down just to prove a point.
And through the long years and the countless times in the surgery room, I learned to keep my spark pulsing calmly within its chamber, my processor and medical sensors were alert to everything happening to my patient. Today was a bit different. Today was the first time I was present while taking a fellow Autobot offline. It was something never done by military medical personnel.
Today my spark was racing. My processor even more focused. My sensors more attuned to my patient. I was not willing to lose Kacey. I'm too keenly aware of how important she is to the Autobots and more importantly what she means to Optimus.
"Wheeljack, how are her power levels?"
"Holding steady."
I glanced over at the medical monitor on the wall to see all her energy levels were steady. Her spark was pulsing slowly. Everything indicated she was still in stasis. Only my internal chronometer was telling me Trion was taking too long.
I was still angry at him. I'm not sure I'll ever completely trust him with monitoring Kacey's continued development. At least he understands my concern and is willing to share duties with me in regards to taking regular scans of Kacey. And I know he was genuinely upset at his discover. Still, he has to earn my complete trust back and I don't care how ancient and wise the mech is!
"Trion…"
"I'm aware of the time, Ratchet," he interrupted. "I'm uploading a new subprogram to Kacey's transformation and defense systems."
"What?!"
"This program is perfect. I ran countless simulations on it."
"You'd better explain it to me now!" I growled at him.
As on many occasion, Trion remained calm and collected as he explained.
"From experience when changing the programming of a youngling I've found that at times the system affected doesn't respond as it should once the youngling reaches maturity. In all instances we had to take the subject offline again to activate the program. Almost always with disastrous results."
"If this happens with Kacey, this subprogram will enable us to activate her transformation and defense systems without taking her offline again. More specifically, if we send a jolt of energy at a specific frequency the subprogram with jump start those systems."
"I'm sorry, I was not aware of your previous dealings with taking Autobots offline."
"It is something I do not like discussing…it…it pains my spark too much."
I remained quiet, allowing him to finish. My attention focused on the youngling before me. Her protoform looked so small and vulnerable on the table. Her head was turned sideways, her audio receptor had been carefully disassemble by Wheeljack and myself to accommodate the network cable connection from Trion's portable computer to her cerebral processor.
"The program is uploaded," Trion announced. "Now to reboot her systems."
"Wheeljack…"
"Everything ready…just in case."
"Keep your transistors crossed," I said, taking in a deep breath. "Trion, whenever you're ready."
"Rebooting…now."
I watched the medical monitor on the wall. All of Kacey's systems powered down. No energy levels registering save the faint reading of her spark. It was probably the longest astrosecond of my life during that moment. For all of us I would say.
When Kacey's systems all powered back up I could hear each of us let out a long sigh of relief.
"Energy levels holding steady, no fluctuations, no spikes," Wheeljack told me.
"Cerebral processor is back online and functioning normally," Trion announced. "I'm removing the network connection."
"I'll reassemble her audio receptor. Wheeljack, keep monitoring Kacey's energy levels. We'll bring her out of stasis slowly and keep her sedated. I want to make sure everything is functioning properly before waking her."
"A systems wide diagnostic would be prudent now and again when her energy levels have been returned to normal functioning parameters," Trion suggested.
"Excellent, will you take care of that?"
With Kacey's audio receptor returned, I gently turned her head.
"You did wonderful child," I told her.
Another habit I learned over my years was talking to my patients even though they couldn't hear me. On many occasions I actually yelled at them to not give up on living. Most times it worked. A few times it didn't. I was glad I didn't have to yell at Kacey today. I don't think my spark could have handled it.
"Can we call it a total success yet?" Wheeljack expectantly asked.
"I think we can," I smiled.
The three of us shared hugs and smiles. As planned we slowly brought Kacey out of stasis without incident. I made sure she was heavily sedated before I left her side to deliver the good news to Optimus and Elita.
I couldn't hold back a smile when I walked over to them. Besides, the couple looked petrified when I first stepped into the private room and need something to lift their spirits up. In all my long life I don't think I have ever been squeezed so hard by a hug from anyone as the one Optimus gave me. I actually felt my armor bending.
It was with a much relieved spark that I led them into the room to be with their child. Optimus about squeezed my hand off and bent my armor several times before he finally settled down beside Kacey. I remained nearby, answering his and Elita's questions, allowing myself to get caught up in their happiness.
Now what remained was Kacey's emotional recovery. As to how long that recovery was going to take was entirely up to her.
Bumblebee
My defense system woke me from recharge when my communicator received a signal via the emergency frequency. I alertly opened a communication link.
"Bumblebee reporting."
"About fraggin time you woke up! Primus, we've been trying for fifteen minutes over the normal communication frequencies."
A quick reading from my communication systems told me that Magnus, Sunny and Sides have all been trying to get in touch with me for fifteen minutes. They also told me Kacey had tried to contact me too nearly two hours ago.
I didn't think anything of it as I knew she was an early rise and sometimes got bored waiting for Optimus to get up so they could watch the sun rise together. On those occasions she usually came into my quarters waking me up.
"Sorry, Sunny. You know my defense systems aren't programmed to wake me unless it's an emergency communiqué."
"Never mind that, get your aft over to these coordinates now!" Magnus ordered.
The link was severed once I received the coordinates. It was a quick ten minute drive from here, if I obeyed the speed limit. But I couldn't go without letting Sam and Mikaela know. It was that time of the morning when they'd be getting up.
Confident the neighbors wouldn't see, I transformed and walked up to Sam's bedroom window. No lights were on. The early morning sun was enough to illuminate the room for me to see he and Mikaela were still sleeping.
"Sam!" I called.
No response. However, Mojo popped his head up from his favorite sleeping spot on Sam's bed.
"Mojo, wake Sam up for me please."
Honestly, I had no idea if the canine actually understood me or not. I just knew I wouldn't be able to wake Sam up from a deep sleep by simply calling his name.
Mojo hopped off the bed and scampered to the window, tail waging happily at me.
"No, go get Sam," I insisted.
This time the critter seemed to understand. His tiny legs propelled him quickly back across the room and he leapt up onto the bed. I giggled as he started licking Sam's face.
"Ah! Mojo! Stop licking me! Ah…gross, not near my mouth!"
"Sam!"
"Bee?" he questioned, rubbing his eyes with one hand while holding Mojo with the other.
"Sorry to wake you. But I need go for a few minutes. Magnus' orders."
"Wait, Mikaela and I will come."
"Ok, but hurry!"
I quickly returned to the driveway and transformed into my vehicle form. My engine revved impatiently as I waited for Sam and Mikaela. My processor wondered why Magnus wanted to see me.
I smiled to myself. I was looking forward to calling Kacey and apologizing to her just to hear her voice. I missed her presence, her smile, her persistent tapping on my forehead to wake me from recharge before the crack of dawn just so we could talk for a few minutes before she met up with her father.
"Sorry, Bee," Sam said as he and Mikaela quickly got in.
"What's this about?" Mikaela asked.
"I'm not sure," I replied, pulling out of the driveway and tearing down the alley. "Knowing Magnus, this could be some kind of prank. If it were a real emergency my orders would have been more specific."
"You guys pull jokes on each other this early in the morning?"
I laughed at Sam's question. I couldn't help it.
"Sometimes timing is everything when playing a practical joke, even if it's at the crack of dawn!"
Only this morning was no practical joke. Something had happened. The twins never had such sorrowful looks on their faces before. After Sam and Mikaela quickly exited I transformed to stand before my friends. They're optics avoided mine and turned to Magnus.
"What's wrong?" I immediately asked Magnus.
"You had a right to know and should be told in person," Magnus started.
"It's our little Kacey," Sunny suddenly burst into tears. "They're taking her offline even as we speak."
"What?!" I exclaimed, my spark racing with fear.
Magnus stared Sunny down into silence before focusing back on me. My spark twisted and clenched within its chamber. I felt so guilty for not waking when Kacey called me. She obviously needed me and I wasn't there for her. Primus, what a slag head! I broke my promise to her!
"Bee, Ratchet found out Kacey's transformation and defense systems were damaging her. Apparently, being a youngling and transforming isn't a good combination. So, Trion and Ratchet are making the necessary modifications to Kacey's programming. And to do so means taking her offline."
"Bee, they're taking away her wings and her wheels," Sunny sobbed. "She's not going to be able to fly or drive."
My guilt intensified. I couldn't hold back my tears. Kacey loved flying and drive. It was like breathing for her.
"So, she won't ever be able to fly or drive again?" Sam asked.
"No, she will regain her abilities once she's reached a mature enough age when a transformer's transformation and defense systems come online.," Magnus explained.
"Then why so glum if she regains these abilities?"
"Because Sam, taking a transformer offline is a dangerous procedure," I answered. "Most times the result is…fatal."
A long silence followed. My tears continued to fall. Why was this happening to Kacey? Of all the…
"When is this to be done?" I asked.
"Kacey's in the surgery room now," Magnus solemnly said. "We came to bring you home so you could be there when she woke up."
"Sam, I must go."
"We're going with you," he smiled up at me. "She's our friend too. I already told Mom and Dad we were going with you and didn't know how long we were going to be. So let's go."
"You heard him, let's get moving," Magnus smiled kindly, patting me on the shoulder.
It did nothing to comfort me. Nothing could comfort me at the moment. I was scared for Kacey. Scared I might never see her again. Scared she would never find out exactly what she means to me.
Taking my seat, I began to pray.
'Primus, I know it seems I've been praying to you a lot these days. I hope I haven't been too annoying. But Kacey is…well, she's special. Not just to me but to everyone. Please, don't take her away from us. She still so young, so full of life…so full of love.'
'I would gladly give you my life for hers. Do anything you want to me. Just don't take her. I love her too much and would rather die in her place so that she may live on.'
'My guilt consumes me constantly for feeling that way. Punish me more if you will for falling in love with her while she is so young. I'm a simple mech only following his spark.'
'I admit it is anxious for the day when she is mature enough for me to speak of my love to her. But I will never act on impulse until she is old enough. I am willing to wait as long as it takes for she is worth waiting an eternity for.'
'So please Primus, I begging you to find it in your spark to spare her. Far too many sparks will suffer if you don't. My spark's energy will fade until it extinguishes for life is not worth living if this beautiful star's light is not shining in it.'
I lifted my head bringing my optics online to see Sunny and Sides sitting across from me in the shuttlecraft. They both smiled kindly at me.
"Did you make it a good one?" Sides asked.
"I hope so."
"Between the three of us and everyone on the base I'm sure one of us got through to Primus," Sunny commented.
"Landing in a few minutes everyone," Magnus announced.
I rose to my feet to see the snow covered mountains and cliffs of our home. I haven't been away from it that long yet I miss it terribly. Visiting once a month wasn't going to satiate me.
I sighed, glancing down to see Sam and Mikaela quietly talking to each other. Yet, I cannot abandon my duty as Sam's guardian. Perhaps weekend visits would help; anything to see Kacey as often as I could.
"There's Prowl to greet us," Magnus pointed out as the shuttle slowly moved into the shuttle bay.
"Do you think he has news yet?" I asked.
"Hurry and land this bucket so we can find out," Sunny insisted as he and his brother headed to the rear door.
"Be calm younglings," Magnus grumbled making me smile. He glanced over at me. "They always make me feel like a sparkling sitter and not their commander."
"They need a sparkling sitter more than commander most of the time."
"We heard that Bee!" Sides chided.
The shuttle set down and all talk was quickly over. We all filed out to greet Prowl. None of us could speak. I know I was afraid to ask the question.
Prowl suddenly smiled at all of us. I never saw a grin so big on his faceplates.
"Your timing is perfect. They just finished. Kacey's alright and functioning just fine. The modifications were a success."
"Can we see her?" I asked.
"That's up to Ratchet. She's still under sedation. Ratchet wants her to wake up naturally. Primus, you should have seen Ratchet's face after Optimus hugged him for delivering the good news. Ironhide and I thought Ratchet's optics were going to pop out and insides were going to shoot from his aft! Optimus hugged him to hard!"
"Let's hurry and see if we can make that happen!" Sunny grinned excitedly, grabbing his brother.
I watched in quiet relief as the twins took off running. My spark was soaring. Kacey was going to be ok!
"Come on Bee!" they called back to me.
"I can't leave Sam and Mikaela behind," I shouted at them. "Go, I'll catch up."
"I'd better hurry after them," Magnus said. "They'll need my protection from Ratchet if they try to lay a hand on him."
"You ok, Bee?" Prowl asked after Magnus left.
"I'm just so relieve Kacey's ok," I replied honestly.
"You really love her don't you?"
"I'm her favorite, uncle. Of course I love her."
Prowl smiled, rubbing the top of my head.
"It's nice to see you've mature a bit. You were such a terror when you a youngling."
"Well, between the twins and me, one of us had to grow up. We all know it wasn't ever going to be Sunny or Sides."
"Got that right," he laughed. "Come on, let's get going."
"You go. I'll bring Sam and Mikaela."
"Fair enough. Nice to see you both again. I'm sure Kacey will be happy to see as well. Meet you at the Med Bay."
It wasn't until I was alone with Sam and Mikaela that my tears of relief fell. I quickly transformed ashamed to cry in front of them.
"Bee, I understand how you feel," Sam spoke softly, his hand sliding over my hood. "I won't mind if you can't be my guardian any longer. I know where your spark longs to be."
I wept harder, my form trembled.
"Shh, everything will be fine Bumblebee," Mikaela cooed to me. "Sam told me about your feelings for Kacey. He couldn't keep that a secret from me. We have no secrets. Besides, he thought it might be a good idea if you had a woman's point of view on things. Especially when the time comes for you to tell Kacey about your feelings."
"Thank you," I sniffled. "I'd like that."
"Good, now let's get going," she smiled, opening the passenger door. "You need to be there when she wakes up. It will make her feel better."
Yes, I knew that would make Kacey feel better. But it would also make me feeling infinitely better just to see with my own optics that she was ok.
Up next: Kacey wakes up. How is she going to respond to not being able to transform?