Frag it to pit! I forgot to acknowledge Phoenix13 in the last chapter. I got the system upset idea from her Scent of the Future story and she gave me permission to use it. Oops, my bad! If you haven't read the story, go read it. It's awesome.
For those who might remember, I had a poll a while back regarding Kacey's alt form for when she's a mature femme. You will find out the result of that poll in this chapter. There were twenty-six votes. Twenty-one of them happen to chose the alt form I really wanted for Kacey.
a/n: This is a long chapter. Holy Frag, is it long! But I couldn't break it up. For those of you who ready Hope's Journey, you will recall some of the events referenced in this chapter. My treat for you all sticking with it from the beginning. One more thing, please have tissues hand for Kacey.
Alpha Trion
There have been only a few times in our peoples' history when the life of one individual had touched so many. In each instance the individual never once went out of their way to be popular with the people. They were simply themselves, honest, humble, compassionate, of pure spark, and most of all…selfless. They never sought out greatness but rather greatness found them.
Young Kaceystar is such an individually.
Her achievement was one of courage, some skill, and a lot of luck, but most importantly…love. She had the courage and strength to enter a Decepticon base all alone. She valiantly fought against several Decepticons. By some good fortune was able to escape from them. And she did all of this for love, love for her mother and love for a father she hadn't even met yet.
This simple act of love from a youngling gave hope to the few Autobots on Earth. None of them knew how many of their family and friends had survived. None of them knew how many others heard Optimus' message and would be making the long journey to Earth. Yet, if this one small femme made it all on her own it gave them hope. Hope that one day they'd be reunited with the family and friends. Hope that one day our kind would prosper and grow.
That is quite a burden for one so young to bear. Yet, Kacey does and has done it so well. I have never seen an individual have such a fierce desire to want to do their part for a cause. And that is why she has fallen so far. This desire is why Kacey had a hard time accepting her inability to transform. By her own definition of an Autobot she deemed herself unworthy.
'A true Autobot is not defined by his or her courage, honor, intelligence, or strength. A true Autobot is defined by the willingness to make the most selfless act of all, the will to give every ounce of one's energy for something bigger than themselves, the will to fight for or even perhaps give up one's life so that one day peace may once again reign the universe for those individuals who's lives have not yet begun.'
Kacey believed every word she wrote. If she hadn't she wouldn't have taken losing her transforming abilities so hard, she wouldn't have left the safety of the Autobots, she never would have removed the insignia she always wore with such pride and humility. In her processor, she was no longer able to live up to her own beliefs.
This poor youngling may have lost faith in herself, but as I stand here in the shuttle bay with all the other Autobots waiting for Kacey to arrive, I see that they have not lost faith in her. I humbly thank Primus I have been so lucky for this young femme to have touched my life.
"Leo, get you little aft back here!"
Reaching down, I plucked up the runaway sparkling and held him up to my face. He stared defiantly back at me, much like Kacey used to when she was determined.
"Patience, Leo. Kacey will be here soon," I smiled to him.
Of course he didn't listen. He let out a squawk and started trying to wiggle out of my grasp.
"Patience is a word not in Leo's vocabulary," Chromia chuckled, taking the sparkling and skillfully getting him to immediately calm down with a look.
"Sorry Chromia!"
"Sunny, I told you not to turn you back on him for an astrosecond."
"I just went to pick up Ariel, she was upset. Honestly, how do you keep track of them all?"
"I'm not going to tell you my secrets. I'm waiting for the day you have sparklings of your own then you'll learn what we went through raising you, Sides and Bee."
"THEY'RE COMING!" some one shouted and right away the entire shuttle bay grew silent.
The bay doors slid open. Every optic in the room watched the shuttle effortless glided in, rotating around before gently setting down.
Primus, I hadn't felt this anxious since the day the High Council elected Sentinel as Prime. I glanced to see the three sparklings of Optimus and Elita, uncharacteristically quiet as they were being held. I'm not sure if they understood yet just how important this was to all the Autobots. I suppose one day they will.
After a faint pop and hissing sound the shuttle's rear door opened. Optimus was the first to emerge with Elita at his side. Kacey was wrapped snugly in blankets and in his arms, only her head was exposed. But it was enough for everyone to see and understand the past five days for little femme were not pleasant.
Tears instantly spilled, whispering prayers sounded. My own spark clenched upon seeing the burn mark on her forehead and the medical gel packed into her left audio receptor. And even in, what I assumed was a medicated recharge young Kacey did not look well.
"Make a hole people, we need to get her to the Med Bay," Ironhide shouted as he, Prowl, Ratchet, and Bumblebee moved around Optimus and Elita.
"Ironhide, wait," Optimus spoke softly. The worried mech nodded and stood still, waiting for our Prime's command. Optimus turned to address us all. "Elita and I thank all of you for being here for Kacey in her time of need. I know in my spark she too appreciates such kindness. To show my gratitude, I will pass by each one of you slowly so that you may say any prayers to Kacey."
"Trion, come with me please," Ratchet urgently whispered, gently grabbing my arm.
I followed as he requested, feeling content with the fact that Kacey was home. I knew I would be able to express my relief to Optimus and his family soon enough.
"I need to consult you before making Kacey a new audio receptor and communicator," he started. Sadness filled my spark upon hearing this. "I have noticed that some of her systems are slightly different from ours. I need to know what kind of…"
"I will build them," I interrupted. "They are delicate systems and must interact properly with her other cranium systems."
"Thank you, I was hoping as much," he sighed in relief.
"I'll need to do a quickly scan to see how damaged it is, perhaps it is salvageable."
"It's gone. That butcher removed it completely and left a mess," he muttered in anger. "The audio port is infected so it won't be ready for a new audio receptor for a couple of days."
"I understand. I'll get started right away. Let me know if I can be of any further assistance."
"You can count on it," he said then ran down the hallway.
In all my long years I am still astonished at the barbarism we come to face. I quickly pushed away any negative thoughts from my processor as I hurried to my lab. They would not help me now. Nor would they help Kacey. For that's all that mattered now, helping Kacey to heal.
Ironhide
That was probably the longest shuttle ride ever for me. To sit there and see the marks on Kacey's protoform, to see the damage done to her audio receptor, to hear her whimpers of pain even though she was in deep recharge really got my energon boiling. Then what nearly sent me over the edge was how her entire body would periodically tremble. Thank Primus for Chromia being there when we landed. My bonded was the only one capable of calming my raging spark.
Kacey's just a youngling! No youngling should ever have to endure such torture. All I could think about while sitting there was how all her physical wounds were going to heal fine but the emotional scars…I couldn't bear to think of how traumatized her psyche might be. It just made me mad that she had to suffer.
'Ironhide, she's home be thankful for that.'
'I am,' I replied a bit too harshly and felt my sparkmate wince through our bond. 'I'm sorry…it just gets me so angry. We don't yet know why kind of damage that fragger did to her mind.'
Chromia caressed my face affectionately and smiled warmly up at me. My spark fluttered in response. Primus she was so beautiful.
'You're forgetting who Kacey is, my love,' she told me. 'She is not some weakling. She is Optimus and Elita's sparkling.'
'I know but Optimus was a fully mature mech and trained to withstand torture before the first time he was captured. And Elita is no frail femme, she's tougher then some mechs when it comes to being tortured.'
'Precisely my point. Have a little faith in Kacey. She's a tough little femme like her father and mother. Besides, she got through being tortured my Megatron. I can think of nothing worse in the universe than that vile creature touching in innocent's spark as he did to Kacey.'
I glanced over to where Optimus and Elita were. There were heading down the hall towards the Med Bay. Prowl was behind them with Orion and Ariel in his arms staying close, the two little twins not taking their optics off their sister. And Leo, who was in Elita's arms, kept patting Kacey gently on the head speaking his sparkling talk to her.
Chromia was probably right. Kacey was going to be ok. Besides, she wasn't going to be alone in her recovery. She had a loving family to be there for her. And she had the Autobots.
Ratchet
Kacey's life wasn't in any imminent danger so I didn't protest when Optimus wanted to share his daughter with the other Autobots. I understood why he did it. Like the good leader he was, he always understood when the Autobots' needs came first before his own.
Besides, the delay gave me time to talk with Trion about Kacey's audio receptor and Wheeljack about making her a new homing beacon. And it gave me just enough time to get the Med Bay ready for my patient.
I never thought I'd ever be glad about anything that Megatron ever did. But after I did a thorough exam of Kacey I was so glad he did. That fragger Spielman deserved to die for what he did to Kacey. Plus, I'd rather have Megatron do it than Optimus. It was a bit out of character for Optimus to kill Starscream the way he did for harming Kacey. And I know Optimus took it hard, I could see it in his face when he had turned to face us. I honestly didn't want see Optimus put himself in that position again.
A sudden low, long sorrowful beep got my attention, followed by something gently touching my leg. Looking down I saw Leo staring up at me with a sad face.
"He's not the only one who's anxious," Red Alert smiled.
Glancing over my shoulder I saw Optimus and Elita staring expectantly at me with two sparklings in their arms drifting in and out of recharge. No doubt they wanted to take Kacey back to their quarters and just so the family could finally be together. As it was, Optimus had been rather reluctant to set Kacey down on the exam table and only did so when Elita gently touched his arm.
"I'll take care of this," Red told me quietly.
"Give her a pain inhibitor too. I want to make sure she has an undisturbed recharge."
"Of course," he nodded.
Bending down I picked up Leo and set him on the bed with Kacey. The little mech immediately snuggled beside her and fell into recharge almost instantly. I couldn't help but smile at the affection he had for his big sister.
Satisfied my patient was in good hands I moved across the room to talk with Optimus and Elita.
"Tell us everything, Ratchet," Optimus insisted, keeping his voice low, repositioning Orion so he could recharge more comfortably.
"Best I could tell was that the fragger used some kind of energy discharge on Kacey. It affected all her systems at once. And he did it repeatedly. There are multiple circuits burned out and even burn marks on her protoform, especially the bottom of her feet. Normally, our repair systems compensate for the damaged circuits until they're fully functional again."
I paused, rubbing the back of my tired neck.
"The only problem is Kacey has had maybe only a few hours of recharge during the past five days. That in combination with the cold temperatures she was forced to endure didn't give her repair systems the chance to complete any kind of work on her systems. That's also why the infection of her audio port is so bad."
"How long will it take to heal?" Elita asked.
"A day or so. I put a protective cover over the exposed system. With recharge the audio port will be functional again. Alpha Trion is working on making her a new audio receptor and communicator. And Wheeljack is working on making a new homing beacon, one that can work separate from her communicator."
"However, all that aside, I am most concerned about her main cerebral processor functions right now. The lack of recharge, the fact that her repair systems couldn't function properly, the freezing temperatures, and whatever energy that fragger zapped Kacey with has caused her processor to be all out of balance."
"Now, with normal recharge sessions her repair systems will have a chance to actually make repairs. It's going to take a few days for her main processor to recalibrate itself. But it will return to functioning normally."
"Ratch, we're exhausted right now, can you just please explain it to us in simpler terms," Optimus muttered.
"It means Kacey's going to go through some drastic mood changes for a day or so until her processor has recovered. I'd prefer to keep her here in the med bay for at least a week but I don't think she'll handle that well."
"We'll keep our optics on her," Elita insisted.
"You're going to have to. Optimus, we all know the black depressive moods you used to have. Kacey's will be worse. You must help her through them until the recalibration is complete. Then she'll be back to normal."
"I don't think after what she went through she'll ever be the same," Optimus frowned, his optics looking past me at his daughter.
"Perhaps, but she will have all of us here to help her," I smiled. "Now, come on. I'll help with the little ones and you can carry Kacey to your quarters."
Bumblebee
Red Alert kindly gave Prowl, Ironhide, Chromia, and I the news about Kacey. I only half listened as I watched, with my peripheral vision, Optimus carrying Kacey from the private Med Bay room with Elita, Ratchet and sparklings behind him.
My processor was made up. I was staying on the base. Whether my presence could have helped Kacey before or not, we may never know. From this point on, I wasn't willing to take that kind of chance ever again.
"Keller's men confirmed that Spielman is dead," Prowl said as we slowly walked out of the Med Bay. "They said his body was crushed."
"Good, it's what he deserved," Ironhide growled. "I just can't believe Megatron let Kacey go."
"I can't either," Prowl said. "It doesn't make any sense."
"Nothing that fragger does makes sense," Chromia commented.
"True. I'll worry about it later," Prowl sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Right now I need to get some recharge."
"Think we'll go spend time with our little mechs," Ironhide smiled, wrapping an arm around Chromia's shoulders. "What about you, Bumblebee, you've been quiet since the ride back."
My back stiffened slightly as I felt their optics on me…waiting, judging. Would they see how much I loved Kacey? I prayed they didn't. And I couldn't allow them to. Especially if I was to remain on the base.
"Pfft! I'm going for a drive," I said rather enthusiastically, more like my normal self. "I have all this pent up energy that needs to get used up before I recharge. I mean, we didn't get to fight anything and I was so looking forward to beating the slag out of something."
"That sounds like a wonderful idea," Ironhide smiled. "But I'm heading to the shooting range."
"I thought we were spending time without mechs!" Chromia pointed out, looking a little miffed at Ironhide's announcement.
"We will," he smirked, nuzzling her nose against the side of her head. "They can come and watch us."
"Just…no sparklings with guns," Prowl warned.
"Why? Sidewinder already knows how to make sure the safety is on before picking up a weapon."
"I didn't just hear that!" Prowl screeched, covering his audio receptors with his hands, optics as wide as they could be.
"What? You think we're that irresponsible that our little mechs don't know how to handle weapons?" Chromia pressed on.
"I'm not listening!" Prowl said as he turned to walk away. "Primus, you're going to send me into stasis with talk like that!"
Ironhide and Chromia gave each other the most fiendish looks and chased after Prowl. I had to laugh as they continually tormented him down the hallway. Every Autobot on the base knows how Prowl feels about younglings and weapons. Most agree that younglings shouldn't ever touch a weapon. However, when it comes to Ironide's mechs it's assumed that they would know how to fire a gun before they could walk.
And Kacey…well, Kacey is the exception to the rule since she can beat Ironhide in a shooting contest. Or...was she going to still be the exception to that rule now that she couldn't transform.
I sighed, heading for my quarters.
"Bee! We heard! So, how is she?" Sam immediately asked the moment I stepped through, his family and Mikaela standing with him, all anxious for my answer.
"She's going to be ok. Red Alert says Optimus and Elita need to keep a close optic on her for a few days. Something about her processor being a little out of whack from the torture she had to endure."
"What about you?" my friend asked.
"I'm fine," I sighed. "Sam, may we speak in private? A drive perhaps?"
"Sure."
"I'm sorry," I said to the others. "I know you're anxious to see Kacey yourselves. Perhaps in a few days once she's feeling better."
"We're just glad she's safe," Judy smiled kindly up at me.
"We'll only be gone a short while," I politely told them then lead Sam outside the base.
The morning was beautiful. Cold but beautiful. The sun was bright, the snow crisp. I quickly transformed and heated up the inside of my car for Sam. I even tinted the windows in a way so Sam couldn't see outside. Before burning rubber up the road, I commanded the small spikes to poke out the treads of my tires giving me traction.
I smiled to myself recalling how Kacey came up with the idea of racing on ice. She said she saw it in some James Bond movie. I have no idea who James Bond is but I was impressed. The spikes provided excellent traction!
"So…what's up?" Sam asked after I had driven us a few miles from the base.
"Sam, during the shuttle ride back to base…I realized…I realized my place is here, amongst the Autobots…with Kacey. I'm not only her favorite uncle I am also her friend. She often came to me when she was upset about things when she was afraid to talk to Optimus. She didn't like her father worrying so much all the time about her."
"You think that if you had been here that none of this would have happened?"
"I don't know…maybe. But I'm not willing to take that chance in the future. I love her too much."
"You know, I think I would have kicked you in the ass myself if you didn't stay," Sam chuckled at me.
"Really?"
"Of course."
"Thanks Sam!" I replied feeling a bit relieved. "Of course, I still need to talk to Optimus and Prowl about this. And you can be certain I will find a worthy guardian to take my place. And one that you will like as well."
For the first time in a long while my spark soared as I raced along the roads. Yes, Kacey had some difficult days ahead of her. But I was going to be there for her if she needed me. And for now, that was enough to make me happy.
Leo
Mama had her arms around me, holding me close to her chest as we lay on the bed curled up on our side. She was stroking the top of my head. I purred. I really like it when she did that.
I reached and did the same thing to Kacey who was lying between us and dada. Only Kacey didn't purr. Her optics still hadn't come online yet.
I think it was because she's sad. I could feel it. Dada must have felt it too. He was trying to make her feel better by humming to her.
I smiled. It was my favorite song. It was so soothing to my audio receptors that…
A big yawn escaped me, my optics dimmed slightly.
I shook my head. I didn't want to recharge. I wanted to help Kacey.
"It's ok, Leo," mama cooed, kissing the side of my head. "Kacey is going to be ok. You can recharge now."
My optics met my dada's.
"She's going to be fine," he smiled at me. "Be a good little mech and listen to your mama."
Content, I drifted into recharge.
Kacey
I awoke between the enveloping warmth of my parents and my baby brother, Leo. The feeling of being so close to my father's spark, feeling his body heat as he held me was usually soothing and comforting. However, I felt none of that at the moment. I doubt anything could give me comfort anymore.
I was weak, a pathetic excuse. I failed to see the human Jim for who he really was. I failed to see how barbaric the humans could really be. Worse, this weakness reflected upon my parents who were the epitome of strength and wisdom.
I had neither.
Moving slowly, being careful not to wake them, I slide out from my father's embrace and climbed off the bed. I looked at them for a moment. Father, Leo, Mother, Orion and Ariel. My family. My reason for existing.
Tears filled my optics.
How I've failed them.
Silently I made my way to my room. What was left of Roller was on my desk. I don't remember much from the time Megatron freed me to suddenly finding myself in my father's arms that night. I don't recall much after that either. But I must have said something otherwise the small bot's remains wouldn't be on my desk and ready for repairs.
I had promised myself I'd fix him. I remember that much. I also remember that I had promised him he'd have a place here amongst the Autobots. I promised him his freedom.
"Primus, give me the strength to at least fix Roller. No mechanism deserves his fate."
With that said I set about collecting the necessary tools from my tool box and began working on Roller. Only I couldn't think where to begin. I couldn't seem to focus. His form was a smashed mess. The only thing salvageable was his main processor.
I wept.
Flashes of the humans tormenting me, laughing at me, filled my processor.
I trusted them. I believed them worthy of our protection. I was wrong. And I was so stupid for wanting to be their friend.
My optics locked on the human trinkets I had collected. A sudden rage filled me. Without thinking I grabbed the heaviest tool on my desk and swung it. The wood of the book shelve splintered and went flying up into the air.
I moved on to the next and the next. Curing myself for being so weak. Berating myself for blindly trusting these creatures. Hating myself for disgracing my father, my mother, my family…my friends, the Autobots.
Perhaps it would have been better if Megatron had killed me. I was right to remove the Autobot insignia when I did. I didn't deserve it. Now, I must do what is right once again. I must perform one last duty.
I reached into my tool box searching for the right instrument.
Optimus
A crashing sound quickly pulled me from recharge. My first instinct was to reach for Kacey. Only she wasn't beside me. My spark fluttered in with panic for a brief moment before my sensors detected my daughter's presence nearby.
Elita, being in much deeper in recharge than I could ever hope to achieve, was still and quiet, oblivious. She did not hear the noises as I did. Neither did the sparklings. Not that they'd hear anything. A bomb could explode in their room and they'd continue to recharge away, peacefully.
Another crash, much louder than before sounded.
I ascertained that it was coming from Kacey's room. Getting up, I hurried out into the hallway. Kacey's door was wide open. The crashes and Cybertronian curses grew louder as I approached.
My spark sank as I watched my daughter demolishing the human trinkets she had collected. Not only did my daughter lose faith in herself but the humans as well. For several astroseconds I continued to watch, saddened by her actions.
Kacey was still unaware of my presence as she cursed and wept. Suddenly she grew quiet and still. Her hand reached into her tool box and picked up a sharp looking instrument, almost like a blade.
My optics widened in horror and I shot across the room the moment I realized what she was about to do.
'ELITA!' I frantically called over our bond.
My hand managed to grab hold of Kacey's arm, yanking it down, before she pieced the main energon line in her neck.
'ELITA!' I called again.
"I'm here!" she shouted from behind me.
"LET ME GO!" Kacey screamed angrily at me, struggling to pull free from my grasp.
Not knowing what to do, I ripped the blade from her hand, dropping it on the floor, and held her close, giving her all my love through our bond. She continued to struggle and curse at me. Tears filled my optics as the turmoil within her spark consumed her.
"Kacey, please talk to us," Elita wept, her hand trembling as she stroked our daughter's back.
In that moment all the fight with in her was gone. Her anguish was felt deep within myself. I held Kacey tighter, whispering my love to her, telling her how precious she was to me.
"BUT I'M NOT PRECIOUS! I'M NOTHING!" she wailed, arms and legs pushing at me to break free. "I'M WEAK! I CAN'T EVEN FIX ROLLER! I'M USELESS! A FOOL! I'M NOT EVEN AN AUTOBOT ANYMORE!"
"YOU ARE NOT NOTHING TO ME!" I shouted at her, lifting her up off the ground and holding her before me. Her arms were limp at her sides, her legs dangled high up off the ground. Tears rolled heavily down her cheeks. "I love you for who you are!"
"But I'm no longer worthy of being an Autobot!"
"You are my daughter! First and foremost! Nothing in the universe will change that. Being an Autobot or being able to transform has nothing to do with how much I love you or how much your mother loves you."
"I'm the daughter of Optimus Prime and Elita One…everything I do is a reflection upon you. I have a duty…"
"No, you do not have any duty to us but to be our daughter! Kacey, do you think Leo, Orion or Ariel love you because you're an Autobot? Or that you can fly or transform? No, they love you because you're their big sister, because you give them so much of your love to them."
As if on queue, little Leo came bursting in frantically reaching for Kacey. My Elita quickly lifted him up where he broke down in tears.
"Love Kacey!" he wept. "Don't go! Leo loves Kacey!"
"I don't know what I'm doing," she wept, looking at me. "I can't do anything right anymore. I'm constantly hurting those I love."
"You're still not well," I said, pulling her into my chest. "You've been through far too much for one so young. But we're here for you. We'll get you through this as a family."
"I didn't want to leave you! I'm sorry I fragged things up. I'm sorry…"
"Stop, you have nothing to be sorry for."
"Your father and I are the ones who are sorry, Kacey. We made a mistake thinking that you were sad because you were going to miss transforming, racing or flying. When we saw your Autobot insignia…"
"We understood what losing your abilities meant to you," I finished. "The fault lies with me. I was always so proud of the Autobot you had become. I neglected to remind you how proud I was that you were my daughter as well."
"You're not mad at me for running away?"
"No," I smiled through my tears. "I love you, you brothers and sister all so much that I could never be mad at either of you."
"I…I just feel so bad to put everyone through so much spark ache. You, mom, Leo…the twins…the Autobots. While a prisoner all I wanted was to come home…to tell everyone how sorry I was."
"Shh," I cooed, wiping away her tears. "You're home now. That's all that matters. The next few days are going to be rough. But we will get you through them…together, as a family."
Kacey nodded, turning her face into my chest. Her small for trembled as she continued to cry.
"Let's go back to our room," I said quietly to Elita.
"Is Kacey ok?" Orion asked.
We turned to see him and Ariel holding hands, looking worried.
"She's going to be fine," I smiled, taking hold of his hand.
This time I didn't need to tell my sparklings, they understood that Kacey needed their love. I could feel it as we all lay together. It was such a comfort to me to have all my sparklings fall into recharge between Elita and I.
"They have such good sparks," I smiled proudly.
"Of course, they're just like their father," she smiled, pulling the thermal blanket around them.
I didn't fall back into recharge like Elita. I didn't want to risk Kacey being unattended if she had another episode like that. But as I lay there, watching over my family, I realized something.
I could do so much more for Kacey. Yes, I will always give her my love. But in this instance she needs a goal, something that only she can look forward to. I smiled, caressing her lovely face.
I have just the thing in mind.
Wheeljack
"He called you too?" Ratchet asked from behind me just as I was about to hit the buzzer for Optimus' office door.
"Yeah, said he had a special project for me and needed to see me right away."
"That's more than he said to me," Ratchet frowned.
"Me as well," Alpha Trion added.
"You too?" I asked, surprised to see the ancient mech.
"I suspect it has something to do with Kacey," he mused.
"Well, let's find out," I smiled, hitting the door buzzer.
I was very curious about this urgent meeting. I was also worried about Kacey and wanted to ask Optimus how she was doing. I only knew what everyone on the base knew, Kacey's injuries were going to take a few days to heal.
"Thank you for coming so quickly," Optimus said as we came in. "Please, sit down."
"After this meeting it would be a good idea if I checked on Kacey," Ratchet gently said. "It's been twelve hours since her last exam."
"You will," he sighed. "She's been recharging for most that time. We did have…an incident. That's what made me decide to call this meeting."
"What…"
Optimus raised his hand to stop Ratchet. The CMO looked a little annoyed but complied with his commander's wishes.
"Alpha Trion, I have called you here because you know Kacey's systems and programming better than anyone. Ratchet, the same can be said of you. I need you both to…to project how tall Kacey will grow to be."
"Optimus, you know it's not an exact science, most of it is guessing based on the current growth rate of a youngling," Ratchet explained.
"Ratchet, I need to give my daughter something to look forward to…something for only her. And in order for me to do that I need to know how tall she's going to grow."
"But…"
"No buts! Just do it!" he snapped, pounding a fist on his desk. Thankfully he didn't break it. I'm only just finished fixing the conference room table. "Kacey tried to kill herself this morning." The three of us gasped. Primus! "Do you know how terrified I was?"
"I'm sorry, Optimus," Ratchet humbly said. "Of course, we'll do our best to project Kacey's height."
"Thank you. One more thing, you have six days to give me the results."
"Six days! There's…"
"We'll get it done," Trion said, rising to his feet, leaving a stunned Ratchet sitting there with his mouth wide open. "In six days you will have your answer, I promise you."
"I'm more than happy to help as well," I smiled. "I even have a few ideas…"
"Thank you Wheeljack, but I have a very special project for you."
I frowned slightly. I really wanted to help. I loved that little femme. I'd do anything to help her get through this.
"Ratchet, you have something else you want to say?" Optimus asked.
"No," he sighed in defeat. "We will need Kacey to come in for regular visits to help with our measurements."
"I don't want her to know. You can get whatever information you need while she's recharging."
"It will be done," Trion nodded.
"You know I'll do anything for Kacey," Ratchet said, getting to his feet.
"Thank you, both of you," Optimus smiled. Then his attention focused on me after they left. "Do not feel so disappointed my friend. What I want you to do will make Kacey very happy."
Optimus rose to his feet, heading across the office to Elita's desk. It was then that I noticed the bin on her desk. Rising to my feet, I followed my commander.
"These are the remains of a small robot named Roller," he said, removing the lid.
"Holy Frag! What a mess!"
"Yes. Kacey told me that Spielman destroyed Roller because they were friends. It was the only way he could get her to cooperate with his experiments." Optimus reached in and pulled out what looked like a head. "He threatened to permanently destroy Roller if she didn't cooperate."
"I take it his core programs are in his head," I said, taking the head and turning over in my hands.
"I wouldn't know. I'm not an engineer," he smirked.
"I'll do my best to repair him, Sir."
"Thank you Wheeljack. And like the others, you only have six days."
"May I ask why, Sir?"
"The twins, Sunny and Sides, gave me the idea to give Kacey a surprise party, with all her friends. They said it might cheer her up. In fact," he groaned, rubbing his forehead. "They're organizing it."
"Just make sure they invite you, Sir," I laughed.
"They did and proved it by showing me a list of guests."
"There's hope for them yet. Well, I have a lot of work to do. I'd better get to it, Sir."
Optimus thanked me again when I lifted the bin up. I actually couldn't wait to get started! Like all my projects I was always eager for the end results. Even if I had problems along the way.
Once Roller's parts were spread out on my work bench I realized I wasn't sure where to begin. The body was totaled. But before I got started on anything I needed to check the integrity of his programming. It should be intact since the head wasn't damaged in anyway.
"Hmm…ah…here we go," I muttered finding the wire I was looking for.
After a spark or two and a singed finger tip I was able to get power to Roller's head. Almost instantly a series of beeps and chirps sounded. At first I thought it was gibberish. Then I realized he was speaking in code. I glanced at my computer monitor. The diagnostic running confirmed it.
"You're safe now, Roller. You can talk as you normally would."
"I cannot. My creator might hear me."
"Your creator has been terminated. You're here with us now, with the Autobots."
The optics flashed on.
"The Autobots? Kacey is home?"
"Yes, she's safe now."
"I am glad."
I smiled to myself. For artificial intelligence this small robot had a range of emotions. My monitor indicated the fluctuation in his brain waves were consistent with intense emotions. I could see why Kacey was so attached to him in such a short time.
"I noticed you had a designation of RX-134 imprinted on your chest armor."
"That was the name my creator gave me."
"And Roller?"
"Is the name Kacey gave me. She said I was a…speed demon because I liked to roll around fast."
"Takes one to know one!" I laughed. "Well Roller. You're body is a total waste. I'm going to build you a new one. Plus, your programming could use a few upgrades. What do you think about that?"
"That sounds…appealing to me."
"Good, let's get started then."
Elita
The week passed slowly for me. My poor sparkling Kacey just couldn't seem to get out of her depression. For the first two days of her recovery Optimus and I never let her out of our sight for fear she'd try to harm herself. She only seemed to have two moods during that time, deeply, deeply depressed and super fraggin pissed off.
Once the first two days of her recovery were over, her processor had recalibrated itself; she received her new communicator, homing beacon, and audio receptor. All her physical wounds had healed up nicely with no signs of the torture she had to endure.
All this meant was that the hardest part of her recover had begun.
Kacey's nightmares started again. Only they were all new ones. Optimus and I often woke to hear her crying out in pain. Our conversations were one sided when we questioned her about her nightmares. She'd occasionally nod her head. Mainly she just cried herself back into recharge.
I think it was most difficult for Optimus because he couldn't take her nightmares away to make her feel better. It had become a common sight with him walking through the halls holding Kacey's hand or carrying her as if she were a sparkling. We both continuously told Kacey how much we loved her whether it be through words, a hug, or through our bond.
Leo and the twins were almost always at Kacey's side as well. Our recharge bed was occupied with Kacey and the sparklings all wedged between Optimus and I. Even they seemed to know Kacey needed their love more than ever and gave it to her freely.
This morning was probably the worst morning all week and why Kacey's so depressed. She had horrible nightmares through most of the night. She woke up in tears, frightened and clinging to Optimus for protection.
Only this morning we also made progress in healing her psyche. She finally opened up and told us what her nightmares were about.
It was clear from how Kacey talked about her nightmare with us that the trust she had in the humans had been completely shattered. A brief visit from Sam and his family just over an hour ago only confirmed it. My daughter was nervous and fidgety near them.
The only thing keeping Kacey from jumping up into Optimus' arms was Bumblebee's presence. The young mech immediately noticed Kacey's agitation and acted as a mediator between the Witwicky's and Kacey. It worked for she seemed less nervous talking to Bumblebee even with the humans nearby. And it worked enough that Kacey was able to say goodbye to them herself as they were leaving our quarters.
It was only another small step but at least it was in the right direction.
"Where's dad?" Kacey asked quietly as she yawned.
"He had a meeting," I smiled, kissing the top of her head, pulling her closer to my chest. "We'll meet up with him soon."
Before me on the floor were my other sparklings playing with Galen. The four of them were having a wonderful time as usual. Kacey didn't want to play with them. Nor did I force her. She was intent on clinging to me and I was content to let her.
My daughter even purred softly as I stroked her back.
"Not so loud, Leo," I gently chided as he was getting a little too rambunctious.
Of course he complied…for only a few astroseconds then got loud again as he wrestled with Orion. I decided to let them be. They had too much unused energy that needed to be released.
"Moonracer, how you doing?" I asked, noticing the femme was sitting in a chair watching the sparklings instead of sitting on the floor with them like she usually does. "You seem tired today."
"I am a little tired," she smiled brightly. "I'll be fine."
"Do you see that Kacey? Femmes don't smile like that for no reason. Talk to me, Moonracer. You know I'll get the information out of you one way or another."
"Ok, Elita, I'll tell you," she laughed. "As you know, after…well…Ratchet and I had decided not to have anymore sparklings. The idea just pained my spark a bit too much. But then Kacey was taken from us and I couldn't stop thinking of Galen. What if something were to happen to him, Ratchet, or me? What if he didn't have Ratchet and I anymore? He'd be alone. I didn't want that for my son. So…"
"Good Primus…you're pregnant!" I interrupted.
Moonracer blushed. Her arms protectively covered her midsection.
"Does Ratchet know yet?"
"No, I haven't told him," she grinned. "I only just found out myself this morning. He's been so busy I didn't want to bother him. I think he'll be thrilled…it's a femme."
"Of course he'll be thrilled! Congratulations!"
"Thank you," she blushed again.
'Elita, everything is ready,' my love said over our bond. 'Bring Kacey to the recreation room.'
'Ok, my love.'
I smiled, sensing the meeting had gone well. Optimus seemed a bit…overjoyed through our bond. I looked down at the listless face of my daughter as her optics flickered, her head wobbled a bit.
"Hey, you can't go into recharge right now," I cooed, nuzzling her face with my nose. "Let's go, Optimus wants to see you. Moonracer, it's time. Ok, play time is over you little pit spawns."
"Are we going to see daddy?" Orion asked excitedly.
"Yes, we are," I smiled down at them.
"Come on Leo! We're going to see daddy!" Orion smiled, trying to pick up his little brother. I chuckled listening to him grunt and strain. "Frag, Leo, you're getting heavy! Oops, sorry mom."
I rolled my optics. I suppose it was foolish of me to think my sparklings would never use such language.
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that. He can walk just fine, hold his hand."
"I'll hold Ariel's hand!" Galen cheered excitedly, taking hold of her hand and hold her close.
What a little flirt! I can't believe he's Ratchet's mech when he does that.
"What about you, sweetie, would you like to walk?" I quietly asked Kacey.
She shook her head, wrapping her arms tightly around my neck. I simply patted her back, giving her my love through our bond. After this morning I wasn't going to force her to walk if she didn't want to. I just didn't have the spark.
Kacey
After the night I had I just need to be as close to my mother's or father's spark. It was comforting to feel theirs pulsing so close to mine. I even eagerly latched onto my father when he offered to take me from mother in the hallway outside the recreation room so I could be close to his. His chest was a lot warmer than mother's. It was always a comfort to fall into recharge pressed up against it like I wanted to do right now.
"Come on my child," he cooed, kissing the side of my head. "We have a surprise for you."
"What surprise?" I murmured, feeling as if recharge was imminent.
"SUPRISE!"
Holy frag! My spark rate just tripled! I probably would have shot through the ceiling if father didn't have a strong hold of me. Primus, I wasn't expecting that! Any grogginess I had a few moments ago was gone! Father chuckled at my reaction, his arms giving me a gently reassuring hug.
After a few brief astroseconds to get over the shock, I was able to see just about all the Autobots who were on the base were in the recreation room. Father set me down on my feet so I was able to greet them all properly as they came up to me.
Each of them expressed their feelings of joy at having me back. There were lots of hugs and tears from them all as well. Primus, I could barely contain my own tears I was so touched by their concern and affection for me.
"We also have a very special guest for you, Kacey," Sunny grinned proudly. "I put the call in myself. He actually wanted to see you in person too. Kacey, I believe you already know Mr. Keller and Major Lennox. But may I introduce the President of the United States, Robert Hayes."
"Wow! How did pull that one off, Sunny?" Prowl asked as the three men emerged. "I've never even get to talk to the guy!"
"Easy, I told him Optimus requested his presence for the party."
"You what?!"
Sunny lived up to his name in that astrosecond. He was a silver and orange streak heading out the door! This of course made most of the Autobots laugh hysterically, including his brother Sides. Dad wasn't laughing at the moment. He looked ready to rip Sunny a new one.
"Optimus, he means well," mom said grabbing hold of dad's arm.
Meanwhile, as mom was calming dad down, I was standing face to face with an unfamiliar human. My spark started racing, my form tensed in anticipation of pain. I backed up a couple of steps and would have kept going if dad's leg wasn't in my way.
"Hey it's ok," he said, kneeling behind my, wrapping one arm around my chest. I instantly felt his spark reaching to mine, trying to calm its furious rhythm. "We talked about this, remember?"
I nodded, swallowing hard. I just couldn't get the images of those humans out of my processor…how they laughed at me as they were hurting me. The pain. I didn't know what was worse, them laughing at my torment or the actual physical pain I had felt.
"That's John and the Major, you know them," he told me. "They're not going to let anyone harm you. And neither will I. You have nothing to fear, my child."
My body trembled. I just wanted to run and hide. But I couldn't. Not with every optic in the room watching me. Nor could I with father's arm wrapped securely around me. He wasn't going to let me go.
'Remember what I thought you when Megatron touched your spark?' he asked over our bond.
'That I must conquer some fears to that they don't control me,' I answered without hesitation.
'That's right. Now what must you do?'
I looked up at my father, his arm released me. He smiled warmly at me, his love resonating within my spark. Then I looked at John, the Major and Hayes. I could see sadness in their eyes as they looked at me.
I took a small, timid step forward.
"It's a pleasure to me you, Mr. President," I said politely.
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you little lady," Hayes smiled. "John has told me so much about you. I came here because I wanted to express how sorry I am for what happened to you. And I'm so glad you're safe and back with your family where you belong."
"Thank you for coming, Sir."
"Kacey, not all of us are monsters," John said in earnest, moving closer to me. "I know your trust in us has been shaken. I won't lie to you. There are still many humans that are not to be trusted. But there are also many of us who are worthy of that trust."
"We're your friends, Kacey," Lennox smiled. "We're there for you whenever you need us."
"And there are many out that who believe in you, Kacey," Sam said coming forward with Mikaela and his family.
"Perhaps, Mikaela can read some of the emails sent to Kacey," Bumblebee said.
"Sure," she smiled. "These are all from kids, adults, mothers, fathers…"
Get well soon, Kacey.
We're glad you safe. Hope you get well soon.
My prayers are with you during your time of need.
Life is a journey, young Kaceystar. There may be some tough roads to follow but you will make it through with the help of your family and friends. Godspeed.
We love you Kacey! Get better real soon!
Kacey you rock! Will you be my girlfriend!
"This one is my favorite," Mikaela smiled, after some of the laughter died down after that last one she read.
Dear Kacey. My name is Megan. I'm eight years old. I would like to know where you live so I can send you Boo. He's my favorite teddy bear. He always makes me feel better when I'm sick. Maybe he'll make you feel better too. Hugs and Kisses.
"You can reach back to these people if you want," Sam said. "They left these messages on your website and many of them left their email addresses."
"I have a website?" I asked, looking at them then my father.
"It was a surprise from Mikaela and me. You know, we thought it might make you feel better after the operation you had. We know how much you love kids. We thought the website was a way you could reach out to them."
I sighed, "Thank you Sam. Hearing those messages does make me feel a bit better."
"Well…maybe this news will make you feel much better," Bumblebee smiled. "I'm no longer Sam's guardian."
I blinked my optic covers in surprise.
"You mean…?"
"It's been arranged. I'm staying home where I belong. I can't risk losing my status as your favorite uncle to Ironhide or even Prowl."
I burst into tears as I rushed over, throwing my arms around Bee's waist. My head only came to about the middle of his chest but I didn't care. He was staying home. My favorite uncle, my good friend…was staying home.
"You're right, Bee. I feel so much better now," I wept.
"Good," he replied, patting me on the back. "Besides, I heard Sunny and Sides get into even more trouble without me being around. I'll need all the help I can get to look after them."
"I'll be happy to help," I sniffled as he gently wiped my tears away.
"Sir, would now be a good time?" I heard Wheeljack ask.
"A good time for what?" I questioned, turning to face my father.
"Go ahead, Wheeljack," father smiled, beckoning me to return to him.
Honestly, I didn't think I could handle any more surprises. I felt as if I was going to cry again. I was so touched by everyone being here for me. It was all a bit overwhelming.
Father gave me another reassuring hug.
"You'll love it," father whispered to me.
I looked up at Wheeljack. My friend and mentor had the biggest grin I had ever seen as he stepped aside. I was so confused until I followed where he was looking.
"Toy!" Leo shouted breaking loose from Orion's hold.
"Oh, no Leo, this is no toy," Wheeljack said, kneeling down and holding my little brother back.
Honestly, I thought the small vehicle was a toy as it rolled out before me. It was small enough that Leo could probably sit on it and go for a ride. Actually, it kind of reminded me of the Earth All Terrain Vehicles that the humans sit on and drive around for fun. It had six tires that resembled the tires on an ATV. The body was solid, like a tank with no turret. Oh and it was my favorite shade of blue. It even had head lights. And on the rear, where a license plate would be was the Autobot insignia.
Then suddenly it transformed. I jumped back in surprise. Father chuckled softly at me, patting my chest to calm me. I watch with fascination as the mechanoid took on a robotic shape. Once done, it stood a little more than a head shorter than Leo.
"Do I look so different that you do not recognize me, Kacey?" it asked, in a familiar robotic voice.
Its optic covers blinked at me a few times.
"Roller?"
He smiled. Primus, he can make facial expressions now!
"Wow!" I gasped and looked up at Wheeljack who happily explained.
"His body was beyond repair. So I gave him an upgrade. He has a stealth mode and weapons mode. I also upgraded his basic programming to accommodate his new form and environment. The only thing…"
Roller turned and blew a raspberry at Wheeljack, making Leo giggle hysterically along with several others.
"He means to say, I'm better in every way now," Roller smiled.
"I didn't touch his personality. In hindsight, maybe I should have. Once I downloaded him into a new CPU his real personality started to…"
Roller did another raspberry at Wheeljack.
"…shine. Show Kacey your other mode, Roller."
"I am told you cannot transform until you're older," Roller said. "Wheeljack has kindly explained to me what the Autobots are. I have volunteered my services to you and your family. Optimus Prime, may you be so kind as to help me demonstrate to Kacey what I am talking about?"
"Of course," father smiled standing up and turning around.
I curiously watched as Roller climbed up onto my father's back. Roller transformed into a shape that blended in perfectly with my father's armor.
"It will only work with Optimus and you because of the color of your armor," Wheeljack said. "But he can mold to fit onto your robot form or your alt form. So you can take him into battle if we need a bot of his size."
"That is so cool!" Sunny said, obviously coming back from where he was hiding. "How do I get one?"
"Sorry, Sunny," I said with a small warm smile as Roller returned to the floor. "My friend Roller is one of a kind."
"Toy!" Leo shouted, coming over to Roller.
"Hmm, Roller…"
"Yes, Kacey?"
"Can you take Leo for a ride?"
Roller quickly transformed back into his vehicle mode. This of course made my little brother squeal with delight, clapping his hands.
"Kacey, I'm not to sure about this," mom said as I sat Leo on top of Roller.
"It's ok, mom. Roller, keep my brother safe."
"Of course. He will be perfectly safe."
"Well, just don't go too fast," mom told him.
He raspberried my mom which made my father laugh. No other Autobot dared laugh at my mom. And father shut up when she punched him in the arm. To make matters worse Leo blew a raspberry at mom. She was speechless!
"Hold on tight, Leo," I whispered to him.
"None of my sparklings have ever been so rude! Leo you get down from…"
Too late! Roller shot out the door and speed down the hall.
"Whoa! He's fast!" Sunny cheered. "Look at the little guy go!"
Mom took off after them, screaming down the hall for Roller to get his aft back here and to stop speeding with the sparkling. Of course, Prowl, ever the stickler for rules was right with her, chasing after them and threatening to through Roller in the brig if he didn't comply.
"Should I comply?" Roller asked me over our communicator link.
"It's up to you. Don't worry. If you get thrown in the brig I know the code to release you."
"Thank you, Kacey. Leo appears to be having fun. And so am I."
"That's good, Roller. That's good."
Familiar hands suddenly lifted me up. I turned in my father's arms and hugged him tightly. Through our bond, I expressed how much I appreciated and love him for what he did for me to day because there were no words to express how I felt at this very moment.
Optimus
I observed Kacey very carefully in the recreation room. She was genuinely touched by all who were there. I could tell she was thrilled about Roller, even though she didn't show that much emotion, just little smiles here and there.
But it was when Bumblebee told her he was remaining on the base that was the happiest moment for her even though she cried. It was no secret that Kacey had a special place in her spark for Bumblebee. He wasn't just her favorite uncle, but a good friend and was just as mischievous as she was.
And Bumblebee…well, I have noticed how much he cares for Kacey. I must admit I was surprised when he announced he was going to remain on the base and no longer be Sam's guardian. That…that just didn't seem like the Bumblebee I had come to know so well.
There have been a few instances over the past couple of years I noticed him acting a bit out of character with regards to Kacey. The first time was when Kacey rescued him, Sunny and Sides. He sounded desperate when he told her not to come. He…well, he sounded like myself whenever I didn't want Elita to come to my aid for fear she'd get injured or worse.
Most of the time I just dismissed it thinking I was seeing something that wasn't really there, thinking he was just being an over protective uncle. Now…perhaps there is more than meets the eye with him. Or perhaps it could be that I'm being over protective, which is most likely the case. Elita has smacked me more than a few times for being over protective of her. I can't help but be that way towards my daughters as wekk.
I'll admit it without hesitation: I have no qualms blowing the aft off some mech who so much as looks at either of my daughters the wrong way. I am a mech after all. I've heard and seen many things mechs do to femmes to gain their favor for a simple interface. I'm not that way. I will raise my sons to not be that way. And I swear to Primus I will blow any mech off this planet if he does such a thing to my little femmes!
I sighed.
That's how I feel now as I hold Kacey close. I'm very protective of her in such a vulnerable state. But at least she's starting to feel better. That was a good thing and a comfort to my spark. It means we're moving in the right direction. I'm hoping what I had to offer would make my Kacey even happier and perhaps bring some of her true self back.
I have desperately missed the little femme who smirked mischievously most of the time, who had a twinkle in her optic whenever she gave you a look, who didn't hesitate to laugh or to speak her processor. That is my Kacey.
"Where are we going?"
"I have a surprise for you," I smiled, as I walked down the hall away from the revelry.
"Another surprise?"
"Yes, another surprise," I snorted.
"I hope mom doesn't get too mad at Roller," she said looking down the hallway. "He's had a rough life. He deserves to have some fun."
"She understands that. You might want to talk to him about his…umm…sound effects. Your mother can only tolerate them for so long."
"I know. I'll talk to him. He'll listen to me," she said, resting her head on my shoulder.
"You have such a good spark, Kacey. You care so much for others needs and not your own. But for now, at least for a short while, I want you to concentrate your needs. I want you to get better."
"Ok, father," she sighed.
"Here we go," I said as I took a seat at my desk in my office.
I made sure Kacey was comfortable on my lap before I activated my computer.
"I know you're still depressed my daughter. But I have something for you. Something for you to look forward too," I started, caressing the top of her head. "You may not be able to transform now. But it is not forever. Your day will come again my child. You will be able to drive faster than ever before, fly faster than any of us could possibly imagine. I promise, it will be a wonderful day, a day you will be looking forward to as much as I do now."
I punched a few commands and the image of an Earth transport vehicle. The McLaren F1 1997 model. It was sleek, elegant, and dare I say sexy. Most importantly the McLaren F1 looked as if it was designed for extreme speed.
I glanced down and noticed Kacey's optics brightened a little for the first time since the operation. I could feel the excitement within her spark. She even leaned forward, manipulating the controls to get a better look by rotating the image around.
"I looked through hundreds of images. This one seemed to suit you," I smiled. "It looks fast, like you. I can't wait to see you speeding down the road in your alt form."
"Really?" she questioned looking up at me. "I thought you didn't want me to grow up too quickly."
"I don't," I chuckled. "But I can't stop you from growing up. And I am very much looking forward to the day when you're speed demon on the road and a terror in the skies again!"
Kacey giggled softly.
My baby laughed!
Primus, my spark soared and I nearly burst into tears. It was her first laugh since before the procedure. And for the first time in what felt like a very long time, I knew in my spark that Kacey was going to be ok.
a/n: Ok, I did not plan on that story arc being so long! But it was so fun to write!
Up Next: An Interlude with Optimus. Again the interlude is to show the passing of time. After that we will start a new story arc. Kacey will be eighteen years old, an important age for a transformer.