I don't own it, I just play with it.
In the "past"
Son Gohan went to bed that night with a lot more on his mind than usual. He was sharing Goten's room for the time being, since his mother had insisted that Pan, as a girl, needed privacy. This left her in his own bed. Gohan didn't mind, except for the fact that Goten talked in his sleep. He also snored, kicked, and rolled, which was why Gohan had ended up making himself a pallet on the floor before half an hour had passed.
As Gohan listened to the steady rain from his place on the floor, he contemplated the girl in the next room. The whole situation was unbelievably strange. He could honestly say that this was probably the craziest thing he'd ever experienced, which was really saying something. He had been kidnapped multiple times, trained in the wilderness by a green not-so-gentle-man, fought life and death battles, watched his loved ones die, traveled in outer space…well he could go on for a while, but Gohan supposed that none of his—admittedly unusual—past experiences could prepare him for the shock of meeting his own future kid. He wondered how Bulma and Vegeta had kept from freaking out when they met Trunks for the first time. Of course, he knew there were several key differences in their situation. For one thing, they were adults by the time they learned of Trunks' identity. Plus he was already born. Not to mention the fact that they were also dealing with more pressing issues at the time, like surviving.
As crazy as it was to think of himself as a father, it was even stranger to picture his own dad as a grandfather. The thought made him smile a little before he realized that since his father was dead, the girl would never have even met her Grandfather Goku. Gohan tried to stop the onslaught then but it was no use; any time he thought of his father, the torrent of emotions quickly followed. At first he'd experienced it only every few months after defeating Cell, but in the past year, the cycle had become a weekly occurrence.
First came the guilt; the gut-wrenching remorse that came with knowing that his own actions had led to his father's death, had left his little brother without a father at all. He knew without a doubt that it was his fault. His father's words from the Other World had comforted him for about a week, probably because he had basically always believed every word from the man's mouth. But reality set in quickly and Gohan soon accepted what was a simple truth: his loss of control had cost his father's life. How ironic it was that Goku had spent all that time in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber fine-tuning his son's skill instead of working harder on his own training, and then died because of it. It was funny; one would think that Gohan, with a mind as well-trained as his body, would have seen Cell's move coming. But his head had gotten too big and he was too far gone to see what he should have. His Saiyan side had been in control then.
Or maybe it he couldn't even blame his ancestry—maybe the real Gohan had finally come out to play that day, relishing in his newfound freedom.
And here came the self-loathing. Monster, Cell had called him. He had been right. Gohan had been a monster, an unstoppable one. And he had relished every second of it. The power had been incredible; it was such a heady feeling, the unimaginable force flowing through him. The teen remembered how his body had practically vibrated with sickening joy. The look of fear on Cell's face had given him pure, savage delight. He had discovered that power suited him, in some sick way. The boy he had been was enthralled by his own invincibility—except that he hadn't been invincible. And the only coherent thought he'd had the whole time was to bring pain.
Cause suffering his mind had coaxed him, and Gohan had only too gladly complied. It hadn't mattered then what his father said to him; his own mind had been unrecognizable to him, and he'd had no desire to listen.
He abhorred himself.
And yet…
And yet, the self-loathing didn't even rival the next emotion on his hellacious emotional roller coaster:
Longing. It was a yearning unlike anything Gohan had experienced in his life, a yearning to feel that power; to become that Monster. It was the one feeling that the young Saiyan carried with him day and night, everywhere he went and no matter what he did. He could feel it always, just under his skin. It vibrated, seeming to him to be an echo of what he'd felt that day he defeated Cell, taunting him in every moment and bringing with it a senseless and primitive compulsion to…destroy. It called to him, just as it had that day, and it was so incredibly tempting. When he actually considered it like he was now, his whole body physically shook from the strain. Gohan did what he always had done when this emotion overcame him. He took slow deep breaths, pushing the longing away as much as possible, until it was at its normal, just bearable level, the compulsion quieted. He willed his body to relax, and it finally did after several minutes. Sighing in relief, Gohan thanked Piccolo in his mind for the intense mental training and meditating he had made him do.
This, as usual, seemed to allow for last part of his emotional upheaval: fear. . Gohan shut his eyes tightly, hoping that this would somehow shut his mind off as well. It didn't work, but then he hadn't expected it to. It was fed by the longing, but what scared him the most was that even after all this time, it didn't overpower it; the longing still outweighed the fear. The fear was not for himself. It was for Piccolo, for his mother, for Bulma, Trunks, and Krillin. For his beautiful little brother, as innocent as a child ever could be….
Goten. Gohan allowed the fear to overcome him then, the fear of what would surely come to be if he ever succumbed to the longing. He knew that if the monster that was his truest self ever resurfaced, he would destroy all those he loved, just as he had destroyed his father. Only Goku's guiding voice had been able to control the beast in him long enough to allow him to defeat Cell that day. Nothing would be able to contain it the next time.
And now he had another person to fear for: his…offspring. Gohan shook his head. He could hardly even bring himself to think such an absurd notion as having a daughter. Well, an innocent girl in any case, that was just one more person he could hurt.
His surprise at her appearance in his life hit him once more. Remembering the girl had at least distracted him from his turmoil. He considered her almost reluctantly. She was surprisingly…What is the right word? Loud? Fiery? Gohan had never been known for his…boisterousness…he supposed this trait must have come from the girl's…mother. Gohan pressed his palms to his eyes and groaned in his head as he realized that the girl must surely have a mother. He shoved that thought away quickly; his mind could only handle so much insanity. Besides, the personality of the girl from the future actually reminded him of his own mother's in many ways. Yeah, let's go with that.
Or maybe, inspiration struck Gohan in his state of denial, maybe Piccolo taught me how to reproduce asexually. But no, that couldn't be right either, or she would be identical to him. In fact, she wouldn't be a she at all. The half-Saiyan's thought returned to the girl as he attempted to picture her in his mind's eye. Did she look like him? She definitely had his light skin tone, passed down from Chi Chi. He thought he could remember seeing something in her face, maybe her cheekbones that had looked like him. And she may have had his eyes as well. He supposed he would have time to figure it out tomorrow….
The teen rolled onto his side as sleep finally began to overcome him then. The vicious cycle of his riotous emotions always exhausted him.
The next morning arrived much too quickly for Gohan's taste. At least it had stopped raining, though. He sat at the kitchen table, watching his mother bustle around to get breakfast ready, and his toddler brother bouncing on his lap, giggling. Goten had been a real angel that morning; he had woken Gohan up by jumping up and down on his chest, singing, "Go'on, Go'on, Go'on" over and over.
The little boy in question yanked on his older brother's hair, bringing him out of his reverie. Gohan gazed at his brother, half in exasperation, half affection.
"Lucky you're too cute to be mad at, little bro," he grumbled with a small grin. Goten responded by whacking him over the head with his plastic toy dinosaur. Before Gohan could do much more than rub the newly sore spot on his head, Pan walked in. He noticed she had a funny look on her face. Maybe it was had something to do with the fact that she obviously was not a morning person.
The girl didn't say anything as she entered, walking to the table to sit down in the seat across from the brothers. Chi Chi cheerfully greeted her with a "Good morning!" and Pan responded likewise then, minus the cheer. While she was looking down at the table, Gohan took the opportunity to study her some. He could definitely see himself in her face. Her wild bedhead only made her look more like him. And yes, he could see now that she definitely had his eyes…. Gohan's face reddened a bit as he realized that he could only see the girl's eyes now because she had looked up and caught him staring at her. He glanced hurriedly away.
Abruptly Pan stood up in front of Chi Chi. "Is there anything I can help with?"
Chi Chi beamed, "Oh, what a sweet girl! Do you know how to make French toast?"
Pan smiled sheepishly. "Well, yes. Actually, I learned from the best…."
Gohan thought his mother would just about burst from excitement then. "Oh you mean me! Of course I would teach my own granddaughter how to cook!" Pan nodded and set about quickly preparing the food. It was interesting to see how well she knew her way around their kitchen, and even more intriguing that she knew how much food to make for the family; she was obviously no stranger to a Saiyan appetite. Her eyes accidentally met Gohan's a few times, and he dropped his gaze quickly each time.
When the meal was finally complete and Gohan got a chance to taste the French toast, he had to concede that his mother must have in fact taught Pan how to cook; it was delicious. There was an awkward moment when Pan quietly asked him if he'd like some ketchup and honey for his bacon. He gaped at her, even though she wasn't meeting his eyes. Finally he nodded.
Whoa. He supposed he shouldn't be so surprised since she did know him, obviously. He was her own…relative…after all, so of course she'd probably know how he liked his food. But as Chi Chi sat down, the two were even more shocked when Pan put a spoonful of applesauce on Goten's French toast. They watched with interest, wondering just what the little boy's reaction to this strange creation would be. A moment later they were flabbergasted once more.
"Mmmmm. Yummy, yummy!" Goten was digging into his food with somehow even more vigor than usual. Pan just smiled knowingly and patted the toddler on the head as she sat back down to start eating herself. Gohan felt a little ill as he watched her dip her bacon in a ketchup-honey mixture.
Okay, Gohan amended his earlier thoughts, she knows everyone else too, apparently. And if she's from twenty-five years in the future…holy crap, the Goten she knows is almost thirty years old! Well at least I know I go that long without killing my whole family…although who knows how much longer I'll last, Gohan's thoughts were quickly turning south. He felt his arms beginning to shake as the ever-present vibration under his skin intensified. The teen grit his teeth and closed his eyes tightly, shoving the emotions away. Not here. He took a deep breath in relief when he succeeded in controlling the feelings, and then took a few more to clear his mind and slow his rapid heartbeat. He opened his eyes then to look around discreetly, assuring himself that no one had witnessed his little episode. Luckily, everyone had been absorbed in their meals. This was bad though…he had never felt the compulsion so strongly before. He couldn't even really classify the compulsion; it was just a mindless need to…power up.
Gohan shook his head slightly and looked at Pan again to distract himself, letting his mind relax once more. I wonder— Gohan's thought was forgotten before he could fully form it. He and his mother were now staring wide-eyed at their guest. She was quite a small girl, but she was positively inhaling her food. She was definitely less messy than the average male Saiyan, but her appetite appeared to rival his father's, which was a thing of legend.
And it hit Gohan then like a ton of bricks, so hard that he leaned forcibly back in his chair.
"You're a Saiyan," the words came out even though he didn't recall commanding his mouth to speak them, and they sounded every bit as shocked as he felt.
Pan stopped eating as she looked up, eyebrows raised. Suddenly she glared at him, looking pretty annoyed. "Weren't you listening yesterday? I told you I'm your—" she cut off suddenly, dropping her gaze back to her plate to shovel a ketchup-and-honey-covered piece of bacon into her mouth.
Oops. Gohan supposed that it had sounded a little rude, maybe even insensitive. He also realized that those were the first words he had spoken to her since learning that she was who she was.
I'm a virgin, for crying out loud! Gohan pushed the thought away quickly, burning to ask his next question.
"So…do you train?" he was leaning forward now without even being aware of it.
Pan glanced up again, though she didn't pause in eating this time as she nodded in response. He wondered how strong she was then, although he was a little afraid to ask….
"Oh no!" all three Saiyans finched as Chi Chi jumped up with a shriek. "My precious little granddaughter becomes a fighter?! Absolutely not, I will not allow her to become some useless…gang member like my husband!" Gohan and Pan were gaping at her in shock. Goten had resumed eating happily. Chi Chi looked as if she were about to continue her rant when she suddenly sat back down heavily. Before the two teen s could do more than eye her in concern, she was leaning across the table to grab Pan's hand, a look of desperation on her face.
"But what about my Gohan!?"
"What-?" Pan glanced at him in bewilderment.
"Does my little boy become a great scholar?!" Gohan rolled his eyes as his mother looked at Pan as if her life depended on the answer.
Pan glanced at him once more with a small smirk before returning her gaze to Chi Chi. She nodded, laughing a little. Chi Chi jumped up and began dancing around. What was that look for? Gohan thought with a bit of annoyance as his mother laughed and sang like a lunatic. He could swear she'd been laughing at him. The teen started to take another bite of his French toast—and nearly stabbed the table when his mother yanked his plate out from beneath him.
"—What!? Mom, I wasn't-!" Gohan groaned in frustration. His mother was paying no attention to him, too ecstatic to notice anything around her. With a sigh, he scooted his chair back, assuming the meal was now over. He caught Pan's surprised look as Chi Chi snatched her plate too. Goten's little face looked absolutely devastated by this unusual development. He began wailing loudly as Gohan started to stand.
"Were you excused young man!?" Gohan's mother was suddenly shouting at him. He hastily resumed his seat, noticing Pan's broad smile. She was apparently getting some entertainment value from this exchange. He smiled back sheepishly. He knew it was funny so he couldn't even be annoyed.
"Now," Chi Chi said quietly as she placed a new plate in front of Goten and took her seat once more, effectively silencing her younger son. Her eyes were closed, hands folded primly on the table in front of her. She was the perfect picture of poise, the image of a mother who would never dream of yelling at her children. Looks could be so deceiving. Gohan and Pan glanced at each other again, sharing a small smile before giving the woman their attention. "I'm assuming you'd like to get back home…correct?" she looked at Pan, who nodded in agreement. "And I would also guess that your family is worried sick about you…yes?" Another nod. "Well then, you'll just have to go see Bulma and find out if she can find a way to send you back to the future," she concluded decisively.
Trying to be helpful, Gohan interjected then, "Bulma is a really good family friend—"
"I know who Bulma is," Pan cut him off severely with a sharp glare, although its effect was diminished by the fact that she was trying not to smile.
Gohan scratched the back of his head out of nervous habit. "Sorry!" he gave the girl his most charming smile. She laughed a little and rolled her eyes before turning back to his mother.
"So, should I just head over to Bulma's right now then?"
"Well, of course I'm not going to send a young girl all that way alone!" Chi Chi looked appalled at the suggestion. "Gohan will take you," she added calmly.
Pan raised her eyebrows in surprise at this as she glanced at him. "Are you sure? It's really no big deal; I do it all the time…"
Gohan's mother was already shaking her head firmly. "Absolutely, dear. It's no trouble at all. Right, Gohan?" she gave her eldest son an innocent warning look.
The teen smiled brightly in response, "I don't mind." He even really meant it, thinly-veiled threat from his mother or not. This girl was interesting.
"Good, it's settled then!" Chi Chi started to rise from her seat once more. "You two should set out right away."
Pan stood as well, a small smile on her face. "Thanks, grandm—I mean, Chi Chi," her cheeks turned slightly pink as she stumbled over her words.
Gohan saw that dreamy look in his mother's eyes again….
"Well of course you'll call me grandma!" she swept Pan up in a hug once again. The girl laughed breathlessly.
"Okay, then thank you grandma," she smiled as Chi Chi released her. Watching the exchange, Gohan realized how strange it was to see someone that he didn't even know looking at his own mother with so much love in their eyes.
Assuming it was safe to stand now, Gohan rose from his seat as well. Thankfully, no one screamed in his sensitive ears this time. However, Pan did look at him suddenly with a slightly astonished expression. She opened her mouth to speak before quickly snapping it shut again. He looked at her quizzically, about to ask what she was going to say, but his mother rushed her off to get ready to leave before he got the chance.
In the "present"
"Impossible." Vegeta watched Gohan blink in surprise. He'd obviously not expected that response.
"What do you mean 'impossible'?"
Vegeta crossed his arms over his chest in typical Vegeta-style, regarding the younger Saiyan closely. The two were standing outside the Prince's gravity room, Gohan having caught him just as he finished his training session. He'd needed to let off some steam after the group's earlier meeting on the Lookout. Feeling helpless was something he couldn't handle, and training was his best outlet. Gohan looked more severe than Vegeta had ever seen him, and since he'd known the 'boy' since he was five years old, that was saying something. He was sidetracked for a moment as it struck him how long it had been…thirty-five years since he had first come to this planet.
"Vegeta?" He tuned back in to see Gohan's face starting to look angry. He frowned.
"I mean, Gohan, that it is impossible. I would have no argument against training in there with you, but I've already trained in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber two times, and as Kakarott explained years ago, you can only enter the room twice in a lifetime."
Gohan's face was falling in disappointment even before Vegeta had finished reminding him of this. He shook his head once and clenched his jaw.
"That's fine then," he turned to leave. "I guess I can ask Goten or Trunks, I just knew it would be more beneficial to have someone that was stronger than I am in there with me."
"Hold on," Vegeta spoke again before Gohan could take off into the sky. Gohan turned back to him in question, plus some impatience.
"I don't think you should go in at all," he stated bluntly.
The half-breed was looking more annoyed, but Vegeta continued before he could ask why.
"Training with either of those two lazy-asses would be a complete waste of your time. They'd gain plenty, but you wouldn't get much stronger yourself, if you even did at all," he noted Gohan's grimace as he looked away, confirming that the boy had already known this. "Training with me is your best bet. Spending even one day training with a Super Saiyan 4 will do you more good than a year in the room with Trunks or Goten. They can't even reach Super Saiyan 2 for crying out loud." He took a moment to shake his head.
Deplorable.
"I can get you to Super Saiyan 4, easily."
Gohan stared at the space to Vegeta's right for a minute. He hadn't disagreed yet, so this was a good sign, Vegeta knew.
"I'm supposed to start helping Trunks and Bulma build this time-travel machine tomorrow," he muttered in a speculative sort of way. Vegeta just smirked. He knew he didn't even need to say anything to this; Gohan knew Trunks and Bulma would get on just as well without him, probably better—the fact was that Gohan was pretty tense right now and wasn't likely to be good company.
No, Vegeta knew; Gohan was more Saiyan than any of their other demi-breeds. He was the only one born with a tail after all, the only one to have ever transformed at the full moon that wasn't full-blooded. Only one thing would be good for him right now, would keep him from snapping.
Training. His Saiyan genes had recognized a threat, and they were begging for action. Vegeta could see Gohan's hands shaking slightly, and he knew that adrenaline was to blame.
"Alright." Gohan finally met his eyes, his face all determination. "Let's go now."
Vegeta smirked. For the first time in years, he and Kakarott's brat were truly on the same page. The two turned to reenter his gravity room, his smirk widening as he contemplated the fun he was about to have.
I hope the kid's ready….
In the "past"
Pan stretched as she stepped out the front door of her grandmother's house fifteen minutes later. It was surprisingly warm, bright, and dry outside. She had honestly expected to find a swamp after all of that rain. She noticed Gohan follow behind her, although he hadn't said anything to her since her grandmother had hustled her off. The girl wondered how he was handling all of this…her teenage father.
How weird… she speculated whether it was stranger for her, who knew the boy as a grown man—had been raised by him in fact—or for him, who didn't know her at all. The sound of her fellow teen quietly clearing his throat broke her contemplation and she turned to face him. He looked slightly embarrassed, although Pan couldn't imagine why. Suddenly he took a step toward her, raising his arms out in front of him with an expectant look on his face.
What the hell? Does he want me to hug him!? Pan stared at him in bewilderment, not knowing how to respond.
"It's a long way to Bulma's. It'll be faster if we fly…don't worry I won't drop you," he smiled sheepishly. Pan was so surprised she could only gape at the boy. It wasn't often that she was left speechless.
She jumped back as he suddenly made a move to swoop her up. "I can fly, dude," Pan stated in a deadpan voice.
"Oh," Gohan dropped his arms back to his sides awkwardly. At least he had the grace to look ashamed.
Honestly! Pan was bristling a bit as she jumped into the air without another word. He followed her, she knew, but she didn't look back for several minutes. When she finally turned to face him—after she had decided to cut him a break—he met her glance with a small smile. She returned it somewhat reluctantly. She was surprised to find that this teen Gohan was as hard to stay angry with as her father. She supposed this made sense…
They are the same person, after all. But Pan still couldn't get herself to really think of them as the same person. She had to keep reminding herself, even though they looked and acted so much alike. It was all just so bizarre.
She turned back to him, trying to think of a topic of conversation. Who knew how long she'd be here, she might as well have a civil relationship with him.
"So, you're fifteen, right?" she finally asked.
He nodded in response, smiling once more.
"So am I," she added.
The boy nodded again. "Cool." He didn't seem to know what else to say, so Pan didn't push it.
Well, I tried anyway.
Left to her own thoughts, Pan considered her first night here in the past. What a phrase…. She had fallen asleep quickly the night before, and slept like a log, probably because this whole ordeal was exhausting as hell. None of it seemed real, but she supposed the evidence that it was flew right beside her. She glanced at her companion again.
Can't argue with that. Facing forward once more, Pan shook her head with a silent laugh.
"Were you going to ask me something to me earlier, in the kitchen?"
Slightly startled, Pan looked at the boy flying next to her. It took her a second to realize what he'd said, and once she did, the girl furrowed her brow in confusion for a moment before quickly realizing what he was talking about.
"Oh, yeah. Well…I was actually going to ask you what I should call you too. Then I realized that calling you…'dad' wasn't really an option since that would be weird for both of us…." The two looked away from each other quickly. Pan wasn't sure why this was so awkward, but it really was. She continued hastily, "But then I realized that there was really only one thing I could call you; your name…" she trailed off.
When she had gotten the courage to glance at the boy again, she could see the slight blush across his cheeks. He met her eyes and smiled, though it looked a little force. "Yeah, that would probably be pretty weird," he laughed awkwardly. "So, who trained you anway?"
Pan blinked at the sudden change of subject. "Oh, um…well my grandpa of course, and then my…dad, Piccolo, Uncle Goten and Trunks a little." Thinking of her grandfather gave Pan the familiar spike of anger mixed with hurt.
Suddenly Pan realized that Gohan wasn't beside her anymore. She stopped in midair to look back, finding him immobile a few feet behind her and wearing an expression she couldn't read. He stared at her for several moments. Pan was about to ask him what was wrong when he finally spoke.
"When you say 'grandpa', you mean…?"
I know he's not this slow. Pan shook her head in amazement. "I mean Grandpa Goku, of course."
A slow smile was working its way onto Gohan's face as Pan eyed him in confusion.
"You mean," he spoke so quietly that she could hardly hear him, "dad comes back."
Pan's eyes widened as realization set in.
"Oh, fuck." Of course it hit the girl now—Grandpa's dead in this time!
Gohan didn't even flinch at her expletive, which surprised Pan a little. Instead he floated slowly closer to her, that awestruck smile still on his face. She smacked herself on the forehead a few times, unable to believe that she had just done something so stupid.
"But…how? And when?" Gohan was getting excited now. Pan cut him off before he could continue.
"Oh no, I'm not saying anything else! I shouldn't have even said that. In fact, I don't think you should tell anyone else about this. I don't want to mess up the future or something," she told him hastily.
Gohan stared at her openly for a full minute before nodding his head by way of agreement. As Pan sighed in relief, they turned and continued flying toward Bulma's.
The wind blowing through her hair again, Pan mentally smacked herself a few more times. She knew how serious this could be; who knew what little piece of information could change the future. Hopefully this wasn't big enough to cause any problems, although her continued presence surely would. Still, Pan knew that she would have to be much more careful about everything she said from that moment on. Glancing at Gohan flying beside her, Pan was surprised to note the look on his face. Instead of looking excited, as he had only moments before (and as she'd expected), he now looked…troubled. His whole body was tensed.
Was it her imagination or were his hands shaking slightly? She continued to eye the boy discreetly, wondering if she should be alarmed when he closed his eyes and appeared to be taking deep breaths. But when he reopened them, he looked completely normal and at ease. Pan had no idea what to make of this. When he noticed her gaze and smiled broadly, she couldn't help but feel that it looked a little forced.
The girl shook her head a little to brush the strange incident off. Man, I'm getting paranoid.
The two flew the rest of the way to Capsule Corp. in silence, Pan absorbed in her own thoughts. She assumed her companion was as well since he didn't say anything. It was amazing how good it felt just to be outside. Flying was, as always, a calming release for her. The last eighteen or so hours had been pretty trying, so she was grateful for the open sky. The clear air quickly relaxed her, tension she hadn't even realized she was feeling melting away. The green of the wilderness below was surprisingly refreshing. As they came upon the city, Pan was completely relaxed and felt much better than she had half an hour earlier.
When the Briefs' successful company and home came into view, Pan was relieved to find that it looked identical to the one she was familiar with. It was good to know that not everything was different. Touching down, the teens ran up to Bulma's door. Pan let Gohan lead the way, knowing that it would probably upset the occupants if a stranger burst in unannounced. She had learned that lesson the day before.
"Bulma!" Gohan called as they entered the dome. After getting no response, they continued into the nearby kitchen, which was also absent of the genius woman. The boy continued into the adjoining laundry room, but Pan stopped in her tracks as something caught her eye—the sliding glass doors leading into the backyard. Looking outside gave her a strong sense of déjà vu; it was almost exactly the same as the yard she had lain in less than twenty-four hours ago. She glanced behind her, to her left. She had slammed right into her father, right there beside the end of the giant island as she ran from Vegeta. Pan felt a lurch in her stomach as she thought of her family at home. Were they worried? Were they looking for her? She was sure they must be beside themselves with anxiety, especially her dad.
Gohan suddenly walked back into the room, shrugging his shoulders. Pan blinked at his presence. It was beyond strange to be thinking of her father, and then see him, but still not see him.
"Let's check the basement, I guess," Pan shook off her thoughts and nodded in agreement. Her expression must have been odd, if Gohan's questioning glance was any indicator, but he didn't comment. The two headed into the hallway that would take them to the basement elevator and the lab Bulma had there.
Abruptly Gohan stopped walking in the middle of the hallway, so suddenly that Pan almost walked straight into his back. Immediately annoyed, she was about to ask him what gave when she took in the strange expression on his face. He wasn't looking at her, but she could see the peculiar look he was directing at nothing in particular, as if he was contemplating something serious, his body suddenly tense. Then he grimaced, glancing quickly at Pan.
"Don't talk," he commanded.
Pan was furious then. Just who does he think he is? He has no right! Pan's indignation was interrupted by someone walking around the curve in the hallway ahead of them, nearly running right into the two.
Gohan's demeanor changed in a snap. He was relaxed now, hands in his pockets as he gave the newcomer an almost lazy smile.
"Hey, Vegeta."
Pan gaped in shock, her fury at Gohan forgotten completely. She had spoken, or rather thought, way, way too soon about things not being different. The Saiyan man looked disdainfully at Gohan, ignoring Pan completely. In fact, he looked a lot angrier than Pan was used to. But his hair! Pan couldn't believe how long it was, or how gravity-defying.
"What are you doing here, brat?" Vegeta snapped. Pan finally found her voice again.
"Prince?" she asked before 'brat' had a chance to answer, astonishment obvious in her tone. She barely noticed Gohan shooting her a slightly incredulous look.
Vegeta glanced at her for the first time then, looking slightly puzzled and if possible with even more disdain than he had for Gohan. He quickly disregarded her in favor of the male teen.
"And what filth have you dragged in here?" he added.
Filth!?
"Excuse me-!" Pan began to retort hotly. She cut off in surprise when Gohan took a half-step in front of her, now standing slightly between her and the man. Is he actually afraid of Vegeta? Pan was puzzled by his behavior…this was Vegeta after all, not an enemy; although she knew he had been at one time. Still, that was so long ago….
"This is Pan, she's from the future."
Well, he certainly wastes no time on foreplay. Pan had a sneaking suspicion that this was to distract Vegeta from her earlier outburst. Whether that had been Gohan's intention or not, it had that effect.
Vegeta suddenly looked furious though and Pan wasn't sure the tactic had been a good one after all.
"Again? What is it this time!? " he rounded on Pan angrily. His response was much like Gohan's original one had been, only with a lot more irritation. What was it with these people? She'd known them her whole life and had never seen them so jumpy. The girl couldn't help but roll her eyes at him.
Apparently rolling her eyes was the wrong thing to do, though, because the Saiyan now looked like he was literally about to tear her head off. Pan was surprised to actually feel a thrill of fear at his livid face, but she wasn't about to let him see it. Gohan quickly reoriented his body once more. He was now standing fully in front of the quarter-Saiyan, body tensed again. Pan stared angrily at the back of his head, feeling a little like a reprimanded child.
"You dare to roll your eyes at me, girl-!" The prince started bellowing before his tirade was cut short.
"Vegeta!" the approach of the woman Pan and Gohan had been searching for spared them from his ire for the moment. Bulma was marching up the hall toward the three, fury written all over her face. She was shouting before she even reached them. "Screaming is not how we greet guests, you jerk!" Pan and Gohan flinched as her voice rose. She stopped suddenly to look at Gohan with a sweet smile as she came upon them.
"Hey, Gohan, what are you up to?"
Before he got a chance to answer, Vegeta was starting in again. Pan had been watching his face for the past fifteen seconds and was surprised he had stayed quiet for that long. "If you would pay attention, you idiot woman, you would realize that we have another crisis on our hands!"
"I just got here, you moron-!"
Pan was distracted from the show playing out in front of her by Gohan stepping into her field of vision. He looked a little exasperated.
"Hey, I can protect you and all," he began quietly as the couple argued behind him, "but I'd rather not have to…Bulma would be pretty mad at me if I destroyed Capsule Corp. fighting with Vegeta." Pan gritted her teeth. She was about to tell him to shove it, that she could take care of herself, but Bulma commanded Gohan's attention again before she had the chance.
"So what are you doing here, kid?" she was shockingly calm and pleasant again. Pan was mostly used to this kind of thing from her, although not to this extreme. Bulma suddenly noticed Pan standing behind him and added with a smirk, "And who's your girlfriend?" She winked at the teen boy conspiratorially. "She's cute."
Pan quickly took a step back to put some distance between Gohan and herself. Except for a slight blush, the comment didn't seem to affect him, surprisingly.
"The girl is from the future, you imbecile! You're wasting time that we'll need to train!" Vegeta leaned to the side to eye Pan around Gohan. "Well, spit it out, runt!"
Oh, this is too much! "You've got some nerve, jackass—" Pan's outraged response was cut off by Gohan's hand over her mouth. She seethed, shooting him the harshest glare she could muster. His only response to her was an exasperated glance before he turned back to the adults.
"This is Pan, she's my daughter from twenty-five years in the future, she has no idea how she got here, and she's not here to warn us about any threats; she just needs to get home," he spit out quickly before Vegeta could react.
Bulma looked a little taken aback by his abrupt tone. "Oh. Okay then."
This calmed even Vegeta down, and Pan noticed that he was now looking at her with what appeared to be much more interest than he had previously. He turned quickly back to Gohan then.
"Don't you think you could have led with that, brat?" he snapped in irritation.
His mate had found her voice again. "Wow, your daughter, Gohan? How crazy! Yeah, I guess I can see it; she sort of looks like you. But you two look like you're the same age." She turned to Pan with interest. "And you don't have any idea how you got here? Strange…."
Gohan didn't remove his hand to allow Pan to respond, even when she jerked her head to shake it off, so she continued to fume in involuntary silence as the half-Saiyan spoke for her, "So what do you think, Bulma? Do you have some kind of time machine Pan could use to get home? Or could you make one?"
"This is a waste of time," Vegeta declared suddenly, although Pan noticed that he made no move to leave. In fact, he appeared to make himself more comfortable by leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed. She narrowed her eyes. Gohan seemed to sense her desire to respond, pressing his hand even more firmly over her mouth and putting his other hand on the back of her head to hold it in place. She ignored his stern glare as she tried to maintain some dignity. She was about ninety percent sure that she failed at that.
Bulma ignored Vegeta as she glanced at Pan thoughtfully, "Well, actually I've been trying to work on creating a device for time travel since you defeated Cell. But I haven't had any luck. I never did get the info from Trunks, so I haven't had anything at all to go on." She frowned grimly. "In fact, I'm beginning to think more and more that there's some essential component that I don't have access to now, like an element that hasn't yet been discovered or something like that."
Pan began to feel a small curl of panic in her stomach. Gohan apparently decided it was now safe to allow her to talk and lowered his hands. "What do you mean? You were able to do it before," Pan was finally able to really speak for the first time, and she was proud that she managed to keep her voice steady.
"That's true," Bulma responded. "But that was over ten years from this point in time. I hate to say it sweetie, but…I'm not sure it's even possible to create a device for time travel at this time. I'll try my best but…." She trailed off helplessly.
The small curl of panic was quickly escalating into the full-blown thing, Pan could feel it trying to claw its way out of her throat. She realized that hot tears were now beginning to stream down her face, but she was too distressed to even feel embarrassed.
"What are you saying?" she asked in a small voice, not bothering to try keeping it steady this time.
Bulma bit her lip and looked at Pan with sympathy, but didn't respond. The girl turned to Gohan. Her daddy was practically a genius; he always had an answer, he'd know what to do. But this wasn't her daddy; this was a fifteen year old, just like her. All he did was give her a sad look.
Vegeta scoffed in annoyance from his place on the wall. "You're stuck here, runt. Are you as dull as the rest of your idiotic family? And wipe those disgusting tears from your face; you are a Saiyan, girl. Have some pride—don't shame your bloodline!" The prince's gaze was harsh and his words hurt Pan far more than she would ever admit. This was not the same Vegeta she knew. Sure, he was always rough around the edges, but she still knew he loved her along with the rest of their extended 'family'.
"Pathetic," he added, obviously so thoroughly repulsed that he could no longer even look at the girl.
Pan was flying at him without making a conscious decision to attack.
This time Gohan grabbed her bodily, pulling her away from Vegeta as she stared yelling.
"Fuck you, you son of a bitch—!" The half-Saiyan put on some real speed then, and suddenly they were on the front lawn of Capsule Corp. Pan didn't even stop to marvel at how amazingly fast he had moved. She pushed him away from her with a scream of frustration, taking off into the sky in the direction opposite Gohan's mountainous home.
In the "present"
Vegeta flicked his wrist, lazily deflecting the ki blast Gohan had just launched at him. He phased out before he had even lowered his arm, reappearing almost instantaneously right in front of his opponent and delivering him a vicious kick to the temple. Gohan flew across the gravity room and hit the wall back-first, roughly, looking surprised as he opened his eyes. Vegeta smirked, knowing he hadn't even realized he had been attacked until he slammed into the wall. Even so, he had been holding his own surprisingly well against a Super Saiyan 4. It was noon now, so they'd been at it for about eighteen hours already.
The prince landed quickly, Gohan floating down to meet him slowly. Instead of looking surprised, he now looked furious as he eyed the shorter man. Vegeta knew him well enough to know that he was mentally kicking his own ass for falling so far behind.
Which he should be, he scoffed in his head. He also knew him well enough to know that this was a good thing; rage had only ever been Gohan's friend—especially self-directed rage, for some reason.
He nearly smiled as he watched Gohan's descent; he would never admit how pleased this whole thing was making him. But since it appeared that Kakarott was now gone for good, that left him as the strongest and Gohan the second-most powerful. There were several benefits here which Vegeta now contemplated: the half-Saiyan would again become strong enough to be a daunting force in the event of another life-and-death battle; he would have a much needed release from his tension while feeling productive, thus satisfying his Saiyan impulses and avoiding the undesirable side effect of exploding on an innocent person; he'd actually become a true Saiyan warrior again—Thank Kami—worthy of the name, and hopefully put that ridiculous scholarly shit behind him; and he'd provide the prince with a challenging sparring-partner, for which he'd be forever pleased about since Kakarott was now gone. But probably the biggest reason he was so smug, and also the one he'd never admit to anyone, was that Vegeta would get to see just how far the boy could go—which he knew was far—and know that he had been a part of shaping that.
He didn't know how Gohan had gone from an enemy he would gladly kill to someone he would protect with his life. He supposed that it had started on Namek, when he realized that he should be trying to preserve his race instead of kill off one of the last few Saiyans. But no, that was only what he had told himself. It was really an interest in the well of untold power that little boy possessed, and how he could possibly use it. And somehow, without him even noticing, it had slowly become more than that. Despite all odds, he had begun thinking of Gohan as his own responsibility even while still wanting to kill his father. Theirs was a strange relationship…and even though he was now a full-grown man, Vegeta knew he'd probably always think of him as the little boy he first met, an idea that was quite at odds with how Goten and his own son thought of Gohan; the Saiyan found it funny that they viewed him as one of the 'older generation'.
Vegeta shuddered a little, slightly disgusted at his thoughts but still unable to shake the pride he felt when thinking about any of the three half-Saiyan boys, and there was a special sense of it for this one.
As Gohan landed a few yards from him, Vegeta narrowed his eyes, suddenly a little angry himself. Pride or no, it infuriated him that the brat had gotten weak enough to allow harm to come to his own child. What had he been thinking, depending on others to ensure the safety of his own? Vegeta had been furious over twenty years ago when Gohan had done that same thing, but a second time…he was livid. He'd make sure here and now that Gohan never made that mistake again…all he had to do was point out that fact to the half-blood, and then—.
He watched Gohan's jaw clench as he smirked suddenly, though he was still angry.
Yes, he thought grimly, you'll be Super Saiyan 4 in no time.
In the "past"
Pan flew without direction, knowing only that she had to get away. How could this be true? Could it really be possible that she might never see her family again? They had been there her entire life, they were everything she knew and loved! She couldn't be without them, she refused. And being around them in this time was like a cruel smack in the face. They looked like the people she loved, but they weren't the same; Vegeta, Goten, and especially her father—they were not the same people she knew. And they certainly didn't know her. It was nearly painful to be surrounded by them, as if home and comfort were just within her reach and yet unattainable at the same time. Why had this even happened to her? How had she ended up here in the first place? The universe seemed to be playing a sick joke on her, and the distraught Saiyan girl had no idea what she'd done to deserve it.
Suddenly Pan was landing without recalling deciding to. Realizing where she was, Pan took some small comfort in her surroundings as the flow of tears slowed. She was in the place that Piccolo had trained her father as a little boy. It was soothing that it looked precisely the same as it did here in her own time. She had been to this place before….
Pan recalled the time in the weeks after her grandpa had left her, the first time. She was four years old, and all she wanted was to train. Her toddler-logic had led her to the conclusion that maybe, if she got strong enough, her grandpa would want to come back and spend time with her instead of that strange boy. The problem was finding someone to train her. Her uncle was uninterested in training by that time, and was too busy with girls anyway. Her dad was willing, but he was just too gentle; he treated her like a baby, as he always did. So Pan sought out the one person that she knew wouldn't treat her like a baby: Piccolo.
The little girl was disappointed at first, though. Piccolo only shook his head and chuckled when she asked him, before taking her back home. And Pan had known, even at that age, that it was all because she was a girl. If she had been a boy, her grandpa would be training her instead of that boy, her father would train her without treating her like a baby, and Piccolo would train her willingly. So, knowing that his was the only mind she could hope to sway, Pan did the only thing she could think of to convince Piccolo that she was worth training—she attacked him.
He blocked her easily, albeit with some annoyance, but every single time Piccolo swatted her away she came back more determined. The little girl had punched and kicked at him the entire way home that day. The real trick, though, had been avoiding his grasp, keeping him from simply grabbing her and holding her immobile. She had done it though. Of course, she knew now that he had only allowed her to evade him. By the time they reached her house, she had convinced Piccolo that he should train her. She remembered how proud she had been when he told her she'd be a "great fighter someday".
So Piccolo had announced that he would be training Pan. Chi Chi had been outraged, as expected. Pan's mother hadn't been thrilled with the idea, but she was much more understanding, putting up only mild resistance before she decreed that it could be no more than a couple of hours a day. Her father had only smiled knowingly and nodded in agreement, which had surprised the young girl a little. He usually surprised her though; she never knew if he'd be feeling all overprotective, or understanding of her Saiyan desire to fight. Older now, she understood her father's undying trust in his mentor. Not to mention that he'd known how heartbroken she was by his dad leaving. Gohan usually had a hard time saying 'no' if saying 'yes' could make Pan happy.
Pan sat down cross-legged on a large boulder, contemplating Piccolo's death. Her poor father had been nothing short of devastated. So had she, though not to quite the same extent of course. Suddenly Pan realized that Piccolo was still alive in this world. She'd be able to see him again! But she quickly remembered that this Piccolo didn't know her—he'd look at her in the same way everyone else did; without a glimmer of recognition, and certainly without love.
The tears began to flow full-force again as Pan drew her knees to her chest and buried her face in them. She had no idea what to do. She felt so utterly alone, something she'd never been before. Pan knew that she had been pretty spoiled growing up; she hadn't led the rough life of battles and training and the endless stress of the fate of the world resting on her shoulders. She was surrounded by constant love, always, and that was what she was used to.
Pan looked up sharply as she noticed a presence. Her adolescent father was standing a few yards away, watching her with compassion, almost pity. Normally she would have been enraged to see someone giving her that look but she was too distraught to even care.
Suddenly Pan felt a desperate longing for her father; nothing had ever calmed her like being held in his strong arms or soothed her like his kind, gentle voice. She knew it was childish, but all she wanted in that moment was to be held by her daddy. Pan shook her head in slight disgust; it was no wonder her father treated her like a baby. Even so…she looked intently at the teen in front of her, searching his eyes desperately for her dad. But although he looked like him and even acted a lot like him, it simply wasn't her dad at all because he didn't look at her in the same way.
The girl dropped her head again as her tears became all-out sobs. Noticing movement a second later, Pan looked up again to see that Gohan was walking toward her. His expression was completely different now, but Pan couldn't quite place it as she watched his approach curiously.
Gohan didn't pause as he reached her; he wrapped his arms around her and pulled the girl tightly to his chest. Pan was so surprised that at first she didn't even resist. But she quickly came back to her senses and—even though being held felt nice—weakly tried to pull away; he was hardly more than a stranger, after all. She expected him to release her then, but instead he only tightened his arms around her. She supposed she should feel affronted, but anger didn't come. And so with another sob, Pan just gave in. She wasn't strong enough to actually break his grip, although she was pretty sure he'd let her go if she really wanted him to. She decided that maybe she didn't really want him to; closing her eyes tightly, she leaned fully into his chest as she continued to cry, accepting the comfort she had so desperately sought.
It surprised the girl when she realized that even though they weren't her father's arms (although they technically were) she felt completely safe and reassured in them.
Gohan wasn't sure what had made him do it. Something about the way Pan had looked at him for just a moment had made him feel responsible for this girl. For once the vibrating compulsion under his skin had faded to the point that he hardly even noticed it. A stronger urge had displaced it; one to give someone comfort. He just didn't have it in him to let any person, especially one that looked so vulnerable, suffer alone. Surprisingly, it didn't feel awkward to be holding a girl so close. Perhaps this was because they were family, the teen reasoned.
As her sobs gradually quieted a number of minutes later, Gohan gently pulled her back a little so that he could see her face, surprised that she seemed almost reluctant to release him enough to lean back. Recognizing then just how alone she must feel, he felt a pang of desire to protect this very small and helpless-seeming girl from the pain she was feeling. He wished anguish could be fought with fists.
He waited until she met his eyes to speak. "Hey, everything will be okay. I promise you; I'll find a way to get you home." She dropped her eyes and didn't respond. Gohan leaned in slightly to catch her gaze again. "Do you believe me?" he spoke quietly but urgently. He knew he had to give her hope; the despondency in her eyes was mildly concerning when compared to her earlier smiles. Pan gazed at him for a moment without saying anything. He wondered what she saw as she studied him. Finally she nodded. Gohan nodded as well, in relief, and offered a small smile. This time when he pulled her to his chest, she leaned in willingly.
Well there is Chapter 4, finally. And when I say finally, I mean fiiiiinally. I spent hours over about three days writing this bastard…and then my computer screwed up and, long story short, I lost the whole thing—almost 8000 words gone. I almost cried! Then I spent about eight hours in front of my computer, rewriting the whole thing. I'm so sick of seeing it I could puke!
Anyway…I'm finally getting to the stuff I actually wanted to write, now that the introductions and all are mostly out of the way. So, everyone PLEASE REVIEW BECAUSE I LOVE IT and if applicable, let me know what you do or do not…..want to see happen in this story. Not that I will necessarily agree, but I do want to know.
So I know it was never said that Gohan was the only not-full-blood born with a tail, but I've never heard it said otherwise. Correct me if I'm wrong!
And, if everyone hasn't figured it out already, I have a real fascination with relationships, and families, and their complexities. Creating drama is so fun :D