Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine, not mine!
Some of you may have noticed I changed the rating to M-it's purely for safety's sake.
Move her, Jasper! Don't just lay here! What is wrong with me? In all honesty, I had only attempted to prevent her from falling. Instead, I knocked her on top of me, and we were laying on the bed. In the hotel room. Alone. And she was radiating feelings…well, let's just say it didn't help me out much. If I didn't move her soon, she was going to know exactly how much. She was just staring down at me, blushed, not saying a word. I moved to a sitting position, and then stood her on her feet. She didn't move.
"Are you okay, Bella?" I asked, playing it cool. She just nodded. "Well, good. So…what would you like to do the rest of the evening?" Smooth.
"I, uh, don't know." Hmmm…nervous Bella?
"Well, you must be getting hungry. Let's order you some room service-Holiday Inn does that, right?-and maybe watch an in room movie?" That sounded nice and platonic.
"That sounds fine." If she kept this up, it was going to be a long night. Might as well get this over with.
"What's the matter, Bella?" I asked as innocently as possible.
"What? Oh…nothing." Did she really think she could lie to me? I merely raised my eyebrows at her. "Oh, fine! I know you felt what I did when I fell, Jasper. Quit trying to play the gentleman. You must think I'm…I don't know…gross or whatever." I couldn't help but laugh at her. Edward was right-she didn't see herself right. I immediately cursed myself for thinking about him.
"Oh, that? Don't worry about it, Bella. It's nothing, really. And…if it makes you feel better…I felt it too." What?! Immediately I wanted to search for something to crawl into. Why did I say that? There was the blush again. If she didn't stop that, we were going to have serious problems.
"You're only saying that to make me feel better, Jasper. But I'll take it. So I'm going to pretend that I didn't just make a total fool of myself and take your advice. Dinner and a movie it is!" she exclaimed, but I could still feel the embarrassment flowing from her in buckets. Instead of pressing the issue, I just agreed. She ordered a turkey sandwich, and we decided to watch Pride and Prejudice, like she wanted in the first place. I didn't watch-I sat with my eyes closed, letting myself feel her emotions change. It was a wonderful cacophony of feelings-sadness, anger, love…and then I watched her cry at the end.
"Why are you crying?" I asked her. The ending was happy-Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth loved each other. That was good, right?
"You'll think I'm silly," she sniffed.
"Impossible. We're friends, right? I could never think you're silly."
She sniffed again. "It's like everyone gets their happy ending but me. There-happy now?" Oh, poor Bella. I knew exactly what she was feeling.
"Not at all. I understand completely. I don't get a happy ending, either, remember? It's just you and me now. We'll have to make our own ending." She nodded sadly, and got under the covers.
"You're right. I'll quit being negative for the night. So tell me, what did you think of step one in operation 'don't eat Bella'?" She grinned. I laughed at her loose usage of this little 'project.'
"I think it went remarkably well. You're still here, right? So tell me, master of the plan-what's step two?" She giggled and turned her head away from me.
"I was thinking…why don't you stay with me tonight?"
"I am staying, Bella. Two beds, remember?"
"Yes, I know that, but that's not what I meant. Now, don't take this the wrong way or anything, but I thought maybe you could…lay with me tonight. So you would be close to me, you know? We haven't been in close proximity for that long. And if you get uncomfortable, you can just go across the room. And hey-plus side is, if you do slip up, I'll be asleep and won't know." I thought about it for a moment. She had a point-next to your hugging session a few weeks ago, we had hardly touched. And, selfishly, I wanted to lie next to someone again. Alice and I had never slept, but that doesn't mean we didn't pretend. It was nice to play human every now and then. But I couldn't help but worry about the repercussions on Bella's side. Edward had stayed with her almost every night since they met-how would she take this?
She must have felt my apprehension. "I know what you're thinking, Jasper. And I've thought about it-I'll be okay. I know you're not him." For some reason, that stung. But I would think about that later. I got up and moved next to Bella on the bed.
"Over or under the covers?" I asked. She just grinned and moved the comforter enough for me to wriggle in. I crossed my arms behind my head and closed my eyes. It wasn't long before Bella's breathing indicated she had fallen asleep. I listened to her steady breaths as the hours crept by. My mind wandered to Alice, as usual. What was she doing? I couldn't help but hope she was doing something that made her happy. I had been angry at her enough for leaving me-after all our years together I should learn to trust her. And, although I wasn't quite ready to admit it out loud, I was happy. As long as Bella was my friend, I was happy.
"Jasper…" she mumbled, rolling towards me. For a frantic moment I thought she was awake, but her eyes remained closed. She rolled her body towards me, flinging her arm around my waist. I stiffened, wondering what to do. Her fingers clutched at the fabric of my shirt, and she whimpered quietly. The only way to describe the sound was delicious. And she was so warm…I was appallingly aware that the feelings I had for her right now had nothing to do with bloodlust. This was a lust I had never felt for a human. Her fingers clutched in and out, kneading the fabric of my shirt and barely brushing my skin.
"Mmmmm…" she mumbled again, hitching her leg over my midsection. I'm going to hell for this, I thought. I didn't stop her, and I had no idea why. Bella was my friend-that was all. We were both broken souls. Surely she didn't know what she was doing. Maybe it was because I had been…without…for so long. That must be it. She was radiating desire, and I could smell her. I inhaled, and let my head fall back on the pillow. She gave a little jerk of her hips, and I nearly came undone. Never had I seen Bella anything like this. And if I didn't stop this now, I wasn't going to stop. And I knew Bella didn't want this-she was just dreaming. Carefully, I moved myself away from her and to the other bed. I wouldn't tell her about this when she woke up.
It took her a few hours, but eventually she started to stir. She opened her eyes groggily, searching for me.
"Over here, sleepy!" I called, laughing at her disgruntled expression. She took in my location and frowned.
"Oh, no Jasper! Was it that bad?" she mumbled, stumbling from bed.
"Not at all, dearest," I chuckled at her. "I just got bored. I made it through the whole night. I thought I'd get a head start on a shower, so it would be free for you. Step two complete!" She grinned at me.
"Great! I'll just go take a quick shower and we can head back to town." She took off with her overnight bag to the bathroom. Before she reached the door, she turned around. "Jasper? I didn't…say anything in my sleep last night, did I?" she asked, blushing. Ah, so she remembered the dream.
"Not at all. Just some mumblings, nothing out of the ordinary." Yes, I was definitely going to hell. There was no reason for her to know what happened, after all. She would only become embarrassed and I didn't want that. What she doesn't know won't hurt her.
Me on the other hand? I was rolling down a quick road I didn't need to take.
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