A couple of readers questioned if I'd bring up the issue of the Matrix. I originally never intended to use it in my Kaceystar stories. I couldn't figure out how because I'd never mentioned at all in the first story. However, I found a way. So the Matrix will be mentioned in this chapter and the next but that's it.
Warning, this chapter ended up being much longer than intended and I couldn't separate it. So have a cushion for your aft and a box of tissues for Ironhide.
Author's notes: italics denote flashbacks, italics underlined denote comlink chatter.
Elita
"What's wrong with you? Do I have to smack that processor of yours around to make you come to your senses? He's gorgeous, intelligent, got a great aft, a smile that melts spark casings and makes your knee joints give way, and…"
"Is our Commander and Autobot leader, Chromia! I realized after our first date that I have no business dating a mech like him. He's way out of my league and I'm sure his life is already complicated enough without me being a part of it."
"But you really like him, Elita! I see that look. You've only had it once before."
"Pfft, yeah, look how that turned out!"
Chromia got up from her bunk and sat next to me on mine.
"Ok, so that mech was all looks and nothing but loose nuts and bolts in the processor," she said. "Optimus is different. He's intelligent, powerful, good looking, has charisma, definitely worthy of interfacing even if it's a one night stand…" I shoved her off the bunk for that comment which of course didn't stop her one bit. "And he likes you. Now get our aft out there before I blast if off and go frag him myself!"
"You wouldn't dare."
"Sure, he'll be so upset about you not showing up for this date that he'll get over energized and I'll take full advantage of him. Now my friend we can do this the easy way or the hard way. The choice is yours. What's it going to be?"
I sat there arms crossed and looked away from her. She was so infuriating at times I just wanted to smack her!
"The hard way it is!"
I was forcibly yanked by the back of neck and dragged across our shared quarters. Chromia then kicked me hard in the aft right out the door. Before I could even turn and protest she slammed the door shut and locked it with her special security code!
There in the deserted hall I was left with little choice. Chromia wasn't going to let me in. The security code she used was one I hadn't been able to hack. It was a code that guaranteed she wouldn't be interrupted while engaged in intimate activities with a mech.
How ironic that she'd use it now when she hasn't been with a mech yet on this base. All her spare time has been figuring out ways to get me to 'accidently' bump into Optimus here and there about the base. She was willing to do anything to ensure I was always on his processor.
Honestly, I don't think she had to go through that much trouble. It seemed I'd been on Optimus' processor since that day he ran me down on the battlefield. I'll never forget that surprised look he tried to hide when I entered his office for the first time.
I sighed and started slowly walking down the hall with no destination in mind.
A part of me was honored that a mech of Optimus' caliber was interested in me. And he was everything that Chromia listed off and more. But honestly, would there even be time in his busy schedule for me? He's Prime for Primus sake!
Frag it to pit!
My processor was telling me don't do this. Yet my spark…that kiss…the way his lips felt against mine. My interface systems hadn't been that fired up for some time. Perhaps more importantly was they way I felt when I was with him. He's so polite and well mannered, knows how to treat a femme properly and doesn't grope. Heck, he only held my hand once and that was after asking my permission.
I groaned.
He's Optimus Prime. PRIME. The most important powerful mech on Cybertron amongst the Autobots. Who am I to him?
I kept trying to answer that question even when I suddenly realized I arrived near the designated area on the promenade. My spark stilled. There was Optimus. Standing there, waiting for me. I quickly hid in the shadows. It wasn't really my intention to come here.
Frag!
Chromia was always accurate in her descriptions of mechs. Optimus was very handsome. He had an aura of confidence around him as he stood so tall and so proud. Most notable was his strong broad chest. Oh and his long athletic legs and arms. The narrow waist above such a cute tight aft.
I sighed. He was perfect in my optics.
Yes, he was the mech of my dreams but unobtainable in reality. He's a commander and I'm…I'm just fodder for the enemy when it came down to it. A mere pawn, a peon, meant to blindly follow his orders.
I glanced at him again. The time of our meeting had come and gone. Yet, he still stood there. Only…not as tall as before. His shoulders were sagging, his head bowed down, optics dimmed slightly.
My throat tightened up, my optics burned from newly formed tears. He looked so sad and it was my fault. I knew then I couldn't let him go away without knowing, without understanding that he's not to blame. That perhaps in another place and time we could have been together. Now with this war going on, it just didn't seem right.
"Optimus!" I called, running to him as he started to walk away.
This was breaking my spark but it had to be done.
"Elita, are you ok?" he asked, heading towards me.
There was so much concern in his face, not a hint of anger towards me for being late. Frag, why does he have to make this so difficult?
"No, I'm not ok!" I wept, grabbing hold of his strong chest.
"What happened? Did someone harm you?"
I laughed wiping my tears away. Even under duress he could still be so polite.
"You are what happened," I told him and got the most adorable baffled look on his face. Primus above, how can he pull off being so knock out handsome no matter what expression he made.
"What?"
"There you go again," I laughed.
"I'm confused…what did I do?"
"You can be so clueless for such a smart mech," I smiled caressing his handsome face. "You're one very handsome mech wrecker. And you're too adorable when you're sad! You scare me."
There, I said it. I very rarely admit to anyone when I was afraid. But for some reason Optimus made it ok.
"Optimus…you're Prime, our leader, my commander. And I'm just a mere soldier in your army."
He smiled warmly, taking my hands in his. The look of understanding and affection in his optics made my spark flutter and my knees weaken. There was no way I could deny what I felt. I did care for him as he obviously cared for me. And I really wanted to be with him.
"My dear Elita, whenever I'm with you such as this, I'm just Optimus. I'm not Prime. I'm not a leader or your commander. I'm simply a mech who enjoys the company of a particularly stubborn but extremely beautiful femme. You are not a soldier to me during moments as this Elita. You're my femme."
I raised an optic ridge at him.
"Your femme? Confident, aren't you?"
He leaned towards me, my spark racing like mad, my lips anxiously waiting to taste his once again. Of course I didn't let him see that. I didn't want him to think I was that easy.
"Well, you sure are a good kisser," I smirked at him, wrapping my arms around his neck. What he said made sense to me. If we were alone like this…then perhaps… "I guess I could keep you for a while."
"Good," he chuckled, pressing his lips firmly against mine.
I swear I melted into his form, losing myself to his sweet, tender lips, his gently touch, his strong embrace. For a mech so big and strong he had the most kind and gentle hands.
Perhaps we could make this work.
"I don't plan on letting you go anytime soon…my Elita," he whispered.
During that moment, I found myself not wanting him to ever let go of me.
I hadn't thought of that day for a long time. I never wanted him to let me go then and I certainly don't want to let go of him now. But I was losing him. I could feel his loving presence slowly slipping away from me.
I quickly wiped my tears away. I didn't want Kacey to see me if I was crying. She was upset enough as it was. Primus, I couldn't even convince her to leave Optimus' side. It'd been nearly forty hours now and she was still in the chair, holding his hand.
She didn't look very comfortable the way she was recharging though. One hand stubbornly holding onto her father's, her arm extended, her form slouched almost in the chair, her feet flat on the floor and the only thing keeping her from falling out of the chair.
Still, I dared not attempt to move her for fear of waking her. She desperately needed the recharge. And if I tried to move her just a little bit she'd wake, upset and probably furious thinking I was trying to take her away from her father's side. Instead, I covered her up as best as I could.
"Optimus is right, you have such a good spark, my daughter," I whispered, softly kissing her forehead. Tears welled up in my optics. "You're so much like him…"
I quickly left. I had to. My grief overwhelmed me. So many memories of my love came rushing forth. Memories of Optimus and me, of Optimus with our younglings. I couldn't stop them. How was I going to go on without him if I lost him? Even our four beautiful younglings were constant reminders of him.
"Shh, come with me, Elita."
I looked through my tears to see Ratchet's weary face. He put an arm around my shoulder and led me into his office.
"You don't always have to be so strong," he gently said, helping me into a chair. "We're all here for you and your family."
"I know…I just…I can't imagine my life without him. And I'm afraid for Kacey if we lost Optimus. She's too young to have the burden of command put upon her."
"I assure you, she would not have to bear the full weight of being Prime if it were to come to that. Prowl is a strong second in command. He was there to handle many responsibilities until Optimus was able to take full command. And he will be there for Kacey. We all will."
"Are you and Wheeljack any closer to finding a cure for this virus?" I asked, wiping my tears away forcing them to stop. Crying wasn't going to help Optimus or my family.
Ratchet turned away, frowning. That was never a good sign. He was always so confident in his work.
"We're working as hard as we can, I promise you that," he finally replied, looking directly at me. Primus, he looked even more exhausted than Kacey or myself. "There…there is one thing I wish to discuss with you. On the chance that we cannot repair Optimus."
"Tell me, please."
"Stasis has bought Optimus time. But that time is running out. If the virus reaches his processor and we do not have a cure by then…"
"Optimus will die," I stated bluntly, the words bringing tears to my optics once again.
"Yes. But it would be a slow even painful death for him. I'm giving you the option of preventing that. I can…I can terminate him…quick and painlessly."
"Of course, I don't want Optimus to suffer," I replied calmly. "I will give you permission to do what is necessary. I just pray that you're able to find a cure before it comes to that."
"Then I'll get back to work," he smiled kindly, moving to his seat behind his desk.
"And I'll go relieve Ironhide and Chromia of sparkling duty. Hide wanted to see Optimus this morning before his shift," I said rising to my feet. "And I need time with my little ones."
He opened his mouth to say something.
"No, don't even attempt to make Kacey leave," I firmly stated already knowing what he was going to suggest. "You know as well as I do she cannot be forced to do something she doesn't want to do."
"Just like a particular Femme Commander I know," he smirked.
I rolled my optics and left before he gave me a lecture on getting the proper recharge. It was enough to lift my spirits. It made it easier to be with the little ones during this time. They all wanted what I wanted…for Optimus to get better.
Ratchet
After Elita left I went and checked on Optimus. Young Kacey was still there at her father's side. The thermal blanket was on the floor…again. No matter how many times I've covered her during the night the blanket always ended up on the floor.
"You remind me of your father when he was young…when he finally got over what his brother tried to do to him. Optimus, like you, understood the importance of being the youngling of a Prime. Although, he didn't have your appetite for fighting until he was about your age. No, when he was very young, he wanted nothing to do with fighting."
It'd been quite some time since I'd been woken from recharge by Optimus. He had stopped having those horrible nightmares about his brother trying to kill him some time ago. Honestly, I thought he'd finally outgrown them.
None the less, I was always there for him whenever he needed me.
"Shh, Optimus, I'm wake now," I cooed, lifting the youngling mech into my arms and holding him close. "Bad dream?"
He nodded, sniffling and wiping his tears.
"Want to talk about it?" I asked.
He shook his head.
"Ok, we don't have to right now," I smiled.
Optimus sighed, resting his head on my shoulder while staring blanking at the wall. Slow tears rolled down his faceplates. After what happened yesterday, I had a good idea what his bad dream might have been about.
"You know, Ironhide isn't mad at you for purging your tanks on the weapon."
"I know," he spoke softly. "He told me several times."
"Sentinel isn't mad either."
"Yes, I know. He told me too."
"Then what was the dream about?"
"I don't know…I was just…scared and woke up," he answered, shrugging his shoulders.
"Optimus, Sentinel understands you don't want to fight or be a soldier. He won't make you do anything you don't want to do."
"But wont he be disappointed in me?" he asked, his blue optics looked expectantly at me. "Isn't it my duty to learn how to fight, to prepare myself?"
It always saddened my spark when he made that look. He's far too young to have had his younglinghood taken away from him. I'm afraid no matter what Ironhide and I do Optimus will never be a normal youngling. No youngling should ever have had to endure what he did.
"No, he would never be disappointed in you. You are his son and he loves you no matter what you chose. And you don't have to fight to be a leader."
Optimus sighed, "He told me that too."
"Optimus, has Sentinel ever lied to you?"
"No."
"Then believe him. I've never lied to you, have I?"
"No."
"Believe me when I tell you, Sentinel loves you and will always love you and be proud of you. Always."
He smiled. A genuine smile too. Thank Primus I've witnessed more of those lately. I never liked it when the little lugnut was upset and depressed.
"Right then. Let's go," I said, still holding him and heading out of my quarters.
"Where?"
"Back to Sentinel."
"But he's on duty in the Command Center. I'm not allowed there. Not even Ironhide takes me there."
"Well, here's a little secret. I have power over Sentinel when it comes to his well being and that of his son's," I smiled.
"So…you can take me there no matter what Sentinel says?" he asked.
"Exactly," I answered and his face lit up. I laughed at him. "Come on, lugnut."
As usual, I found Sentinel in his office going through a never ending pile of reports. He was immediately concerned when I walked in with Optimus in my arms.
"What happened? Is he ok?"
"He's fine," I answered handing Optimus over. "Just a little interrupted recharge which by the way you should be doing. It's late."
Sentinel gave me a disparaging look. Of course I ignored it, as was my job.
"If you work yourself too hard and run your energy levels too low I do have the authority to make you recharge," I said to him, getting a giggle out of Optimus.
"Very well," he sighed, hugging Optimus. "I can't argue with my CMO unless I want to get strapped to a med bay recharge bed or have a very uncomfortable maintenance check up."
"Then I'll leave you two alone to get some recharge and get back to my own."
"Ratchet, wait…I need to talk to you."
I nodded and followed my Prime to his quarters. Thee I remained in the main living room while he put Optimus back to bed. To my surprise a very troubled Sentinel emerged from Optimus' room.
"Sentinel, what's wrong?"
"Can I speak confidentially with you?"
"Anything between us is always confidential."
"I mean as one friend to another, not my CMO."
"Of course. Does this have to do with Optimus?"
Sentinel nodded and sat down. I did the same, sitting across from him in a nearby chair.
"I'm not sure adopting Optimus was the best idea," he started. "The war is intensifying. I have an even bigger target on my back now. Optimus has been through so much for one so young…I love that little mech so much…I'm afraid of what would happen to him if I was killed."
"Don't think that way. You are the best thing that's happened to Optimus. He's come out of his shell the past couple of years because of it."
"But he's not a fighter. He…he seems so fragile to me. I'm not sure I know what to do."
I snorted, "Optimus is anything but fragile. He's gone through some terrible spark ache, yes. But he has endured it. He has moved on. He has a strong spark. I've seen glimpses of it here and there. And…he loves you as he would if you were his real father."
"Really?"
"Yes, he does."
Sentinel sighed, leaning forward resting his elbows on his thighs.
"Promise me, my friend. Look after him when I cannot. Be there for him when I cannot. And if something ever happened to me…"
"I would love him as if he were my own," I seriously said. "Optimus already has a special place in my spark. And in many of the others. Even Prowl turns his head and lets Ironhide take Optimus into restricted sections of the base."
Sentinel raised an optic ridge at me. Oops. He obviously didn't know about that.
"My advice…let them do it," I added with a smile. "You may be Optimus' adopted father. But we are all his family when it comes down to it. We all look after him."
"Primus, help me look after him now," I whispered turning my chair back around to face the computer.
"The news can't be good."
"AAH!"
"Sorry, Ratchet!"
"Prowl, you fragger! Knock before coming in here!"
"I did, you didn't answer," he countered. "We had a scheduled meeting so I just came in to wait not knowing you were in here. When I saw you I did call your name. You happened to turn around right afterward. I assumed you heard me."
I closed my optics covers momentarily and sighed wearily.
"Sorry, my processor was else where," I said to him. "Please, sit down."
"I can't. I can't relax. My processor won't shut down for recharge," he said. "I'm worried about the Autobot's future. Ratchet, I need to know…is Optimus going to die?"
"Wheeljack and I are still working to come up with a cure for this virus infecting Optimus' systems. However, if we do not have the cure in the next seventy-two hours then Elita has given me permission to terminate Optimus and give him a quick and painless death."
Prowl blinked in response. If his spark was aching as bad as mine he didn't show it. Not that he ever really showed too much emotion anyway. Although, he did look as tired as I felt. And his response was…expected.
"What about the Matrix?" he asked.
"So far it is not infected," I answered. "I'm not sure if it can be infected by this virus. It's not like our Cybertronian systems which this virus seems to love."
"We cannot take that chance with something as important as the Matrix. Perhaps…perhaps we should remove it."
"I'm not sure that's a good idea," I replied. "Sentinel was already terminated when I removed it from him. I might kill Optimus if I try removing it while he's still functioning. And there's no one left alive who even knows the effects such an action might have on a living mechanism."
"True. I doubt even Alpha Trion knows of the Matrix. Its existence has been kept secret from most everyone ever since it was discovered by Kreeose Prime and a few of his officers. Ever since that time only a Prime and his most trusted medical officer knew about it. Sentinel told me. He knew I could be trusted. He knew that if he was terminated that it would be my responsibility to prepare Optimus for Prime…for the Matrix. As I may have to do…again for Kacey."
"It's connected directly to the back of Optimus' spark chamber," I explained. "I'm afraid if I tried to remove it we'd lose him."
"Frag, Ratchet. The Matrix is more important, than a Prime. That's what…"
Ironhide's fist literally came from no where. I was even too stunned to react.
"You sparkless fragger!" he roared, tackling Prowl to the floor. "Don't you even think removing that Matrix thing if it's going to kill Optimus!"
In hindsight, if I hadn't been so exhausted I would have realized the door to my office was open after Prowl came in. I would have closed it too. Only I didn't. And in my ineptitude, Ironhide must have heard a bit of what we said. There was little I could say to my good friend. His spark was most certainly aching as badly as mine.
Ironhide
I know I distinctly heard the sound of cannon fire from nearby. I followed the sound to a weapons free area just outside the base. It was an area where mechs and femmes usually come to at night to enjoy the view of Cybertron's moons or engage in some for of intimacies, usually kissing and cuddling. During the day it was always deserted.
The sound of heavy footfalls made me pick up the pace. I turned the final corner.
"What the…?"
Megatron?
The definitely looked like Megatron running and running fast. I was about to chase after him when I heard what sounded like a faint garbled, choking noise. It was coming from the area where I had pin pointed the weapon's discharge had sounded.
I figured the young mech was venting frustration by shooting a waste receptacle or something. Not the first time that's happened. Megatron did a lot of venting of late. However, I was in no way prepared to see so much energon on the ground or the little mech lying in it.
"Optimus! Oh frag no!" I cried out, stumbling to my knees beside his small from.
"Hide," he called weakly, his optics already so dim from the loss of energon.
Frag! Not little Optimus! My spark raced. My hands trembled. What little medical training I knew totally eluded me at that very moment. It passed quickly as my combat training kicked in and I called for the one mech I knew could fix Optimus.
"RATCHET!" I screamed through my communicator over an emergency frequency. My only concern was for the little mech and I didn't care with emergency frequency I used. "MEDICAL EMERGENCY! FRAG IT TO PIT! HURRY! IT'S OPTIMUS…HE'S…OH FRAG…"
"Hide…I'm scared," he said, his voice barely a whisper. Primus, he was dying before my very optics. "I'm going to die alone."
"You are not going to die!"
I quickly covered the wound with one hand, my large hand covering his entire chest while my other arm lifted him up. Optimus whimpered in pain and his optics went dark.
"NO! RATCHET!"
"I'M COMING!"
"Ironhide, what's going on?" Prowl asked over the frequency. "You're broadcasting on a restricted emergency frequency!"
"That fragger tried to kill Optimus!" I informed Sentinel's second in command as I ran as fast as I could. "He's bleeding to death! I can't stop the bleeding!"
"Don't move him and cover the wound, I'm nearly there!" Ratchet chimed in.
"Optimus doesn't have time, I'm heading to you!" I told my friend.
Glancing down I saw Optimus' optics were online again.
"Stay with me Optimus, Ratchet's going to fix you right up, I promise."
"Ironhide, this is Sentinel, what the frag is going on?" my Prime demanded.
"I heard weapon's fire and went to investigate because it was in a restrict area. When I got there I saw that fragger Megatron running away and found Optimus lying in a pool of his own energon with a blast hole the size of my fist in his chest! Oh, frag! I can feel him dyin! RATCHET!!!"
"I'm here!"
I turned hearing his voice seeing my friend running towards me.
"Set him down! Now!" he ordered. As I did, Ratchet came sliding to halt on his knees right near Optimus. "Move your hand!" I did so and energon came gushing out. Ratchet quickly covered it up, a medical force field emanated from his hand over Optimus' chest. "Frag! Give me your arm!"
"Ratchet…"
"Not now, Sentinel!" Ratchet snapped back over the open frequency as he exposed the port in my left forearm with one hand. He pulled out a line from one of his medical storage compartments. "Attached this end to your energon line."
I immediately did as I was instructed and watched as he did the same to Optimus' forearm. Once done, Ratchet opened my energon line and allowed the warm fluid to flow through the tube into Optimus.
"Is he going to be ok?" I asked, keeping as still as I could.
"I'm doing my best," Ratchet said, not looking up.
I remained quiet, watching as Ratchet's long, nimble fingers worked efficiently and quickly within Optimus' chest. It felt like an eternity but the energon finally stopped flowing from the wound.
"He's stable enough to move," he announced.
"I'll carry him."
Ratchet gave me a long look but didn't say anything. Besides, he was going to have to rip Optimus from my arms at this point. No way was I letting the little mech go. Not after I just almost lost him.
Along the way, Ratchet yelled for everyone to get out of the way, even Prowl and Sentinel. I overheard Magnus tell Sentinel he couldn't locate Megatron anywhere within Decagon. My spark whirled with anger. That fragger was going to pay for what he did to Optimus.
"Lay him here," Ratchet ordered as we entered the surgery room of his med bay. "I'm going to leave him hooked up to your energon line until he's energy levels are more stable."
"Whatever it takes," I replied softly.
"Just let me know if you start feeling drained."
I nodded, my optics locked on the work Ratchet was doing. With skill and efficiency, he had quickly cleaned away all of the energon. I instantly felt sick to my tank. The hole was ghastly, maybe not as big as my fist but it was horrible to see one so young with such an injury. I don't even know how Optimus managed to survive.
"Come on…don't give up on me, Optimus," Ratchet muttered reaching deep into the little mech's chest working on Optimus' exposed spark chamber.
I'd seen Ratchet work before, emergency surgeries right on the battle field. He normally cursed and spat. He was too quiet as his hands worked quickly. I knew that couldn't be a good sign.
"Frag!" he muttered, opening Optimus' spark chamber. I gasped! Optimus' spark was barely glowing. "Keep your hands clear. I'm going to give him a jolt of energy directly into his spark."
"Is that safe for him? He's so young."
"Well, I'm not going to let him die! I love the little lugnut too!"
I said nothing in response. It was true. I loved Optimus like a son. He had an aura about him that drew others to him. I don't think he even realized he had it. It seemed to be a family thing for Megatron had it too and if I recall the one time I met Optimus' father I felt it then too.
The flash of light was blinding from the energy discharge. It took my optics a moment to adjust.
"Primus," I gasped in awe.
"I must admit, he has one of the brightest sparks I've ever seen too," Ratchet smiled. "Energy levels are stabilizing and climbing. Good. We can discontinue the transfusion."
"So, he's going to make it?"
"Yes."
"Thank Primus!" I sighed in relief.
Without thinking, I reached and caressed Optimus' head. I hadn't realized until today just how much this little mech meant to me. Ratchet was right. I do love the little lugnut. He has revitalized me, given me purpose, something to protect in this civil war. He has given me something to smile and be happy about during these dark times.
I'm a warrior by nature. My career, my weapons, and fighting have been my way of life. My only non military joy has been the company of a femme for a night here and there during my long life. Or, it had been until this little mech came into my life.
I was never one for sparklings or younglings. I stayed as far from them as I could. Yet, this one managed to sneak into my spark. Perhaps because I felt bad for him to have lost his parents the way he did. I happened to be with Sentinel when he was notified of the assassinations taking place. His first order was to send help to his friend Decimus. I was even there with Sentinel when Soundwave's unit arrived at Decagon with Megatron and a crying sparkling Optimus.
I've never forgotten the sound of the little mech's cries. One could hear the anguish. And now…I don't think I'll ever forget the look on his face when he thought he was going to die. I'll never forget how I felt, holding his dying form in my arms.
"Are you ok?" Ratchet asked quietly, pulling me from my inner thoughts.
"It's not right, Ratchet," I spoke softly, wiping my tears. "The little guy has already been through so much. How much more can he take?"
"With friends like you, he can take on anything," Ratchet smiled, patting me on the shoulder.
I stared at the recharging youngling for a moment. Kacey didn't look at all comfortable in that chair. But I didn't dare move her. I didn't want to wake her. Besides, her hand was latched onto Optimus'. I doubt I'd be able to pry her hand free and place her on the spare recharge bed Ratchet brought in for her.
So like her father. He too refused to use it, opting for the chair right beside his daughter when she was in the med bay. She too has had to endure so much for one so young. My spark ached for her for I could easily imagine what she's going through now.
My optics dimmed with sadness as I looked upon my dear friend. My spark ached to see him in this condition. I'd seen Optimus fall many times in battle, usually saving someone's aft including my own on a number of times. Most times the stubborn aft got back on his feet and continued fighting even if he was leaking energon all over the place. But the lugnut always recovered from his injuries, always.
I was always so confident that Optimus would recover. He was just that kind of mech – never one to let his friends down. I honestly couldn't recall a moment when Optimus wasn't there for me once he came into my life. He constantly hounded me to settle down and stop fragging every pretty femme I sweet talked. He was always there when I was the one in the Med Bay recovering. Primus, he was even there laughing at me when I fainted after finding out I had a son. And of course, he was there for the birth of my second son.
"You have to get better lugnut," I whispered. "We all need you. Your younglings need you. Especially your Kaceystar. I'm not sure she'll recover if we lose you. I'm not sure…I…"
I swallowed hard. My grief consumed my spark. I was not afraid to say I loved Optimus. I do, as any father would love his son. I've watched him grow from a frightened little youngling into the mech wrecking, leader we all have devoted our sparks to.
And if I could I would gladly trade places with him. I know it would hurt my Chromia if I was lost to her. But she's one tough femme. Much tougher than I. She would find a way to go on without me. Much easier than if I had to go on without her. I can't imagine my life without her, without my sons…without this lugnut here.
It had always brought me comfort to know that Optimus would be there for my family if something happened to me. Without me asking or him saying the words, I just knew he would. He's that kind of mech. Our relationship has always been one beyond friendship. He even told me once, not long before he got his armor, that he always thought of Ratchet and myself as father figures.
"I may have only had one father who created me. But I was lucky to have three to raise me," he told me.
"You can't die, Optimus. I'm the old one. I'm supposed to go before you," I wept quietly. "That's the way of things…"
A sudden shout caught my attention. Quickly wiping my tears, I glanced to see Kacey was still in deep recharge. Moving to her, I picked the blanket up off the floor and covered her properly, tucking it in behind her shoulders a bit. That way it wouldn't fall down again.
I looked over at Optimus one last time, saying a prayer for him. It was all I could think to do at the moment. Then I headed for Ratchet's office. The shout sounded like his. No doubt he'd be in his office. If I recall, he had a meeting with Prowl this morning.
"…Elita has given me permission to terminate Optimus and give him a quick and painless death."
My spark still upon hearing those words and I came to a sudden stop. I couldn't believe my audio receptors. They're not giving up on Optimus, are they?
"What about the Matrix?" Prowl asked before I barged in.
I came to an abrupt stop. What's the Matrix?
"So far it is not infected," Ratchet answered. "I'm not sure if it can be infected by this virus. It's not like our Cybertronian systems which this virus seems to love."
"We cannot take that chance with something as important as the Matrix. Perhaps…perhaps we should remove it."
"I'm not sure that's a good idea. Sentinel was already terminated when I removed it from him. I might kill Optimus if I try removing it while he's still functioning. And there's no one left alive who even knows the effects such an action might have on a living mechanism."
"True. I doubt even Alpha Trion knows of the Matrix. Its existence has been kept secret from most everyone ever since it was discovered by Kreeose Prime and a few of his officers. Ever since that time only a Prime and his most trusted medical officer knew about it. Sentinel told me. He knew I could be trusted. He knew that if he was terminated that it would be my responsibility to prepare Optimus for Prime…for the Matrix. As I may have to do…again for Kacey."
"It's connected directly to the back of Optimus' spark chamber," Ratchet explained. "I'm afraid if I tried to remove it we'd lose him."
"Frag, Ratchet. The Matrix is more important, than a Prime. That's what…"
"You sparkless fragger!" I growled, charging in and punching Prowl across the face. Then I wrestled him down to the floor not giving him a chance to use his quickness against me. "Don't you even think removing that Matrix thing if it's going to kill Optimus! I won't let you hurt him!"
"Ironhide…stop…wait! You…don't…understand!" Prowl yelled, blocking each one of my punches.
"Ironhide! Lay off!" Ratchet shouted, yanking me off Prowl.
I shoved him hard, knocking him down and went back to Prowl.
"What's not to understand?! It sounds like you've all given up on him! You've even convinced Elita to put Optimus out of his misery!"
Prowl managed to get on his feet this time. With his quickness got my arm in an awkward position behind my back and shoved me hard against the wall, pinning me there.
"Are you going to calm down and listen?" he asked.
"FRAG YOU!" I growled.
"Ironhide, stop it!" Ratchet growled, having returned to his feet. "I love Optimus too. I don't want to see him go anymore than you do. The truth is…"
"You can't give up on my father!" Kacey's voice yelled. Her form moved with blazing speed across the room. Neither Prowl nor myself were expecting her to be that fast. Nor were we expecting her to slap Ratchet across the face so hard. The mech actually staggered for a moment. Then she started pounding his chest over and over with small fists. "You can't! I won't let you! I won't let you kill him!"
It took both Prowl and I to hold the grief stricken femme back.
"Please…don't let my father die," she begged through her tears.
"I'm in agreement with her," I said, glaring at Ratchet, my anger on temporary hold only because of Kacey. "You just can't give up on Optimus."
"Ironhide, you're not helping!" Ratchet snapped. "You obviously didn't hear everything that you weren't meant to hear at all! So stop jumping to conclusions!"
"Seem pretty obvious to me!" I snarled.
"Ironhide!"
"If you won't save my father than I will!" Kacey shouted.
With a surge of power she yanked herself free from Prowl and mine's grasp. And like that she was gone out the door.
"Now look what you did!" Ratchet yelled getting in my face.
"FRAG OFF!" I shouted back, shoving him hard to the floor.
Ratchet jumped back to his feet and charged at me.
"Stop it! That's an order!" Prowl screamed, stepping between us, holding us both apart from each other. "Fighting is not going to help Optimus or Kacey!"
"I…"
"SHUT UP" Prowl roared, silencing me.
Both Ratchet and I did as ordered. Both of us were still fuming at each other. The black and white mech dropped his arms with a heavy sigh and moved away from us, his voice sounding so tired. So unlike Prowl. It made me realize how much this has really affected everyone.
"We were just preparing for the worst, Ironhide," he explained. "It's my job. I can't afford to lose control to my emotions like you or Kacey. I must be prepared for all possibilities. You know more than anyone that I don't want Optimus to die. He's my friend too."
"Do you think my task is an easy one if he dies? I'm the one who has to remain strong for all the Autobot's sake. I'm the one who has to prepare Kacey as I prepared her father for Prime after we lost Sentinel. Do you think that is easy staring into a young, grieving face…telling them they're our future, that without them we have no hope?"
I bowed my head in shame. I've always allowed my emotions to get the better of me. It's just who I am.
"I'm sorry," I told Ratchet, extending out my hand to him.
"No worries, we're all past our limits right now," he smiled, shaking my hand.
"I suppose I'd better go after Kacey," I said to Prowl, shaking his hand as well.
"No, this is my duty," Prowl responded sadly. "Besides, only I know exactly where she's going."
Up next: We learn a bit about more about the Matrix from Prowl. Bumblebee is ordered to do what he can to comfort Kacey (get your minds out of the pit people). And Kacey decides to take things into her own hands to save her father.