Uploading two chapters for you guys :)

Ally's POV

It was really dark and cold outside. I wasn't wearing a coat but I didn't let Dougie see I was freezing; he would have given me his coat and I didn't want to carry with delicious smell all over me later.

"What do you want?" I asked me as cold as I could, though it hurt me too.

"I was wondering if we could be friends again. I know things didn't work out between us but—"

"No, no, wait. If we are going to talk about this, then you take the blame for everything that happened, Dougie. It's not that things simply didn't work out, you ruined it"

I'd had all these thoughts in my mind for too long and I needed to let them go, I needed to tell him all these things as much as I needed to tell him I loved him despite his stupid choices.

He nodded, his eyes looking sadder than ever.

"Well… I know things are complicated between us but I miss you and I was hoping we could be friends"

I sat in a bench and crossed my legs.

"You are kidding me, right?" I said "That's all?"

He seemed confused "Yes, that's it…"

"So you expect that after you gave me my first kiss and told me you loved love, I'll watch you while you break my heart every single time you smile with that so annoyingly perfect smile you have?" I said as I tried hard to hold back my tears of anger and sadness.

He waited some minutes until he said something "Well, when you say it like that, it sounds awful"

"It does, yes"

"I don't know if it helps, but it's hard for me too"

"No, it doesn't help, you are just making it harder because that way I know you have feelings for me too and that you are keeping them locked in your heart only because of fake loyalty to your girlfriend"

"Look, I miss you, alright? I know I screwed up everything, I know I hurt you in the past and present, but now I know I made too many dumb mistakes and I'm sorry."

"But it's too late to realize you've made mistakes" [she falls asleep prhase, remember? :D]

"Ally, please" he knelt down by my side "I need you in my life, no matter what we are"

"I need you too… But it does matters to me what we are"

We stayed in silence and he sat on the bench by mi side, though he was some inches away from me.

"I don't bite, you know?" I said.

"Yes, but you kick asses and I don't think you like me that much now, so…" he said and I laughed a little bit.

"Just because we fight doesn't mean that I hate you" I said "I only think you are a big asshole"

"That makes everything so much easier"

"Oh, and a coward too"

"Thanks"

"You're welcome"

I looked at him smiling and he smiled back.

"I missed this" he said.

I looked away, knowing that my need to kiss him again could betray me in any moment.

"I missed it too"

"So… Can we be friends?"

"I kind of made it quite clear, we cant…"

I looked at him quickly, but he wasn't looking at me anymore, he was looking down at his shoes, probably too disappointed or ashamed to dare to look at me again.

"When you said you loved me… In my room… That Saturday… Did you mean it?"

"I guess"

"No, Dougie. Yes or no? Did you mean it?"

He sighed "Yes, I meant it"

That was all I needed to know… I'd thought for a long time that he had lied, I needed to know if it was a stupid compulsive lie or a sad truth… I needed to know if this love, that didn't even started but had already ended, had been at least once real. It had been real to me, and it still was, but it didn't matter if it hadn't meant anything to him… Now at least I had the memory of my true first love, now at least I knew it had been real.

"Maybe we could figure something out" I said.

I gave up. I just gave up. I didn't care how hard it'd be to have him so close to me while he wasn't mine, I just thought it'd be harder to live without him at all.

"What do you mean?" he asked as he looked up.

"Well, I'm Danny's friend… So when someone asks about me, we don't say we are friends, I'm just Danny's friend… Or Tom's, it doesn't matter"

His face brighten up, his smile was so cute "Really?"

"Yes, but we'll have to make some rules"

"Like what?"

"I'm never ever going to be in the same room that your girlfriend. I love you too much to see her with somebody else again"

It seemed to shock him to hear me said that, he didn't answer to what I said and his cheeks were a little red.

"Alright, we can do that"

"And please don't kiss me… Not in my cheek, not in my forehead, anywhere… Your lips drive me mad"

He laughed.

"We can do that too… Oh, and please don't wear anything hot around me"

I raced an eyebrow "Excuse me, it's not my problem if your eyes are in places where they shouldn't"

"Excuse me" he said, imitating me "it's not my fault that you are hot, lady"

I laughed and run my fingers, which were frozen, through my hair.

"Hey, you don't have the cast anymore"

"No, the doctors took it away yesterday actually"

"Hey, there's something I wanted to ask you"

"Alright…"

"Do you think I'm a good kisser?"

I couldn't believe he was actually asking me that.

"How would I know? I've only kissed you, jackass!"

"Oh, right"

'But that kiss…' I thought, trying not to smile or blush as I remembered it 'It was so awesome'

"Maybe I could ask Rob to kiss me, then I'll answer you" I said… I still had Rob phone's number.

"I think we shouldn't talk about our relationships with other people either" he said kind of annoyed.

I looked up at him and moved so I was right by his side, no stupid inches between us.

"I'm sorry" I said "I was just kidding"

"Well, you should know it's not funny" he said looking down "I know I'm with Frankie and I chose it, but it's not easy for me either to see you with someone else"

I put my head in his shoulder "Don't forget that I will right here, waiting" I sang softly [Blink 182 – Not Now, I guess you all know that song, right?].

"I'm not expecting you to keep your promise" Dougie said.

"I'll keep it for as much time as I can…"

He sighed and put an arm around me "You must be freezing"

"I cant feel my butt, but I'm ok"

We laughed and then Dougie's stomach made a loud noise.

"Let's go in again" he said and stood up.

"You go, I'll be there in a moment"

"Do you promise me not to run away as soon as I walk in?"

"I promise"

I didn't know exactly why I was still in that bench on my own. I felt horribly empty somehow. I knew that I should be happy but I knew this was going to be a torture, I'd been stupid once again, I should have ended this, but love makes us do really unexpected things. He loved me and I loved him, I still didn't understand why he wasn't mine. I would have to get use to it, maybe after all I could have something with Rob. Maybe some day I'd stop loving him, though I wouldn't bet on it.

'Dammit' I thought 'Things got complicated again'

I started singing 'Every time I look for you' by Blink 182, I couldn't help feeling lost and confused. Inside my friends were waiting for me but here, outside in the dark, I felt like I've always felt; lonely. I would have to leave for ever with what Dougie had done and it wouldn't be easy. I took a big breathed and walked inside, ready to bubble wrap my heart every time Dougie smiled, in case it fell and broke apart.

Please review :) Important chapters coming soon, more about Ally's past.