Title: Can't Turn Back

By: Myra

Status: Incomplete [2/?]

Summary: Maybe things weren't as simple as telling the truth. Maybe they weren't supposed to be together. Or maybe it was the universe trying to tell them that they weren't meant to be.

Disclaimer: I own this laptop… And this plot. And some OCs... But I swear that's it! Also changing the set up to my stories.

Thank You's (additional thank you's are at the bottom): Robin because this story would suck without you lol :)

WARNINGS: Abortion and depression, heavy implication of Dangina, Serena bashing (sort of), Georgie defending Blair, Dan/Chuck friendship, Nate/Chuck enemies, at least 4 OC (Melanie Coarsen-Bass, Casey Abbot, Arthur 'Ari' Rose, and Edward 'Eddie' Charles Waldorf), baby!Milo is Dan's son. I don't how much of season 3 and season 4 that I will use be warned. Actually, it's mostly AU.

Can't Turn Back:

Chapter 2: Truth is…

Chuck obliged and sat closely to Blair. She didn't look at him. She wanted him to understand; no she needed him to understand why she left when she did. Why she abandoned him without a moment's notice.

"Blair?" he reached for her hand, but she pulled back. Blair had decided that it was best if they didn't have a lot of physical contact. She had to remind herself that he was married and was expecting a child. Everything Charles Bass did was carefully being watched and she knew that. Blair was trying to avoid a scandal because of Ari, but also because she didn't want to be looked at as the other women.

She sighed heavily believing that once Chuck found out, he would never want to see her ever again. "First, I need you to promise me that you'll let me finish," she began, "please don't interrupt me."

Blair felt her nerves rise. The last time she had been this close to Chuck, they made love in the bathroom during the reception of Chuck's wedding to Melanie. That memory had made Blair grimace because that was not the reason Blair had shown up to Chuck's wedding.

She felt Chuck's hand near her chin and again she pulled back. For a moment Blair wondered what Chuck's reaction would be. Clearly he would be offended.

"I'm not allowed to touch you?" He sounded insulted, just as she predicted.

But she continued on as if nothing happened. "Promise me Chuck that you will let me finish."

Chuck nodded. "I promise I will let you finish," he assured her.

She waits a few seconds before she began, "A week before I left, I had a miscarriage."

"Why didn't you tell me," he whispered. Blair's head shot up and looked at Chuck; she gave him a look indicating that she had tried to tell. Chuck backed down quickly.

"Chuck you promised. Now no more interruptions I mean it."

Chuck reached out for her hand again and this time Blair didn't move her hand. She felt the warm of his hand. She remembered how it was when they were younger, when things were easier. Things had changed. Chuck was married, Blair had Ari, and they were on different paths in life.

"The thing was I felt relieved." Chuck pulled back as soon as the words left her mouth and his jaw dropped. Blair knew this might happen but she had to continued, "I wasn't ready. How could I bring a child into this world? I just graduated from NYU. You were travelling all the time."

Chuck was horrified. This was his Blair. How could she do this to them? Sure they weren't ready to have a child at 22, but that was their child. It was something that belonged to them. How could she discard something that belonged to them?

"You must think I am the worst person in the world," Blair continued without pausing to see Chuck's reaction, "Even before then I was so miserable all the time. All I wanted to do was run and no one could see it. The doctor said it was depression that may have caused the loss of the baby."

Chuck grits his teeth. He didn't know if he was angry at Blair or at himself. He tried to remember that week. He had just come back from Prague and finished signing some paper for some hotel deal. When he came home Blair had been crying, he asked her why but she just said something about Dorota being sick. How could he not tell that she was lying?

"Do you hate me now?" she asked him, but he sat there looking petrified.

"I don't know," Chuck answered truthfully. Without looking at Blair he got up and left out the door.

Blair knew that she had lost him in the mere matter of seconds, for good. Chuck belonged to Melanie and she would have to accept that. She had only told Chuck a part of her story there were several little details that she purposely neglected to mention. It was the little details that plagued her mind. She had come to New York fully prepared to tell Chuck the entire truth. He deserved that much, but she didn't have the heart to tell him the rest.

"Mommy?" she heard Ari said. Ari looked at Blair; he knew that she was not his 'real' mother but he still called her that. Blair had grown fond of him calling her that. She glanced up and looked at the small boy and smiled. She held out her hand and Ari reached out for it.

"Mommy, who was that?" He asked her.

"That was someone I used to know," she said simply, "one day I will tell you the story."

Blair didn't know when she'd see Charles Bass again. She didn't know if she'd ever tell him the real story. One of the many things Blair did know was Chuck would never look for her again. For now she would head back to Milan and continue to work overseas for… Nathaniel Archibald.

Chuck wandered the streets of Manhattan. He felt incredibly lost. Chuck felt his phone vibrate, but ignored it. He was in no mood for Melanie's endless rants on baby-proofing the penthouse or reason why they should name their son 'Bart'. Chuck grabbed his phone from his pocket and smashed it into a tree.

All the anger he was building inside had finally erupted and without thinking twice he rushed back to The Palace. It took him nearly an hour to get back to square one. He had not realized how far he had got by foot.

He walked past the guards and the concierge. By the time he reached 1812, he had no idea what he was going to say. When Blair opened the door she was surprised to Chuck again.

He walked passed her and sat on his former couch. He was still fuming from earlier and Blair waited awhile before she spoke.

"Are you okay?" she asked stupidly.

"I just found out that you were about to have my child, how do you think I feel Blair?" he snapped and Blair winced.

His face turned white and he looked paler than he normally did. Blair stayed standing.

"Why did you leave me?" he whispered. Blair felt her tears fall, she wanted to comfort him make him see that there were things that she simply had to do.

She sighed and sat next to him. This time she reached out for his hand. He didn't pull away.

"There are things I had to do," she answered, "I'm so sorry."

"Are you back for good?" She shook her head. His head shot up and stared at her. He wanted to remember every part of her. She looked so beautiful and mesmerizing, if only she could stay with him.

"When do you leave?" he asked suddenly breaking the spell she had put him under.

"The day after tomorrow," she answered candidly. He nodded. He was thinking of ways to keep her in the city, even if it was only a few more days.

"Are you going to take..." he forgot the little boy's name.

"Ari, his full name is Arthur Cyrus Rose," she supplied.

"Where is he?"

"Sleeping," she answered, "He's had a long day and hasn't slept."

Chuck observed her. He still saw some of the old Blair Waldorf, but this Blair was more mature and maternal. He still loved her through and through. The only obstacle, in his opinion, was Melanie and their unborn son. He did love the unborn infant; he just didn't love the person who was carrying him.

"I have one question to ask…" Blair waited for him to continue, "Why Dan?"

Blair had to think of an excuse and fast. Why had she called Dan? Nate had told her something about their fall out and recommended that she should call Dan, so that he could relay the message to Chuck.

"I called Nate but he told me that you two weren't on speaking terms and that I should try your new best friend." That was actually more or less true.

Blair had learned a few things in her short life. She had learned never to lie to Charles Bass because eventually he'd find out what she was hiding, so she didn't lie to him she just told him another version of the truth. Which was in her opinion, not the same thing.

"You called Nate?" he sounded outraged and let her hand go. She should never have mentioned Nate. Chuck stood up, started to pace, and mutter incoherently.

"What happen with you two?" Nate never did share the details of their fall out; he just mentioned that they indeed had one. That stopped Chuck right in his tracks. He stared at Blair intently.

"A business deal gone terribly wrong," he deadpanned.

"So you give up on your friendship because of a business deal?"

"There was obviously more to it than that, but let's just say I know where Nathaniel Archibald's loyalty lies."

Blair didn't reply.

"He wanted to prove to his family that he could make it on his own. He had some idea of making some café expansion sorts. He asked for my help and I offered him the money. Halfway through the business deal went south. He promised to pay it all back, so he went to the Vanderbilt's and asked for their help. They sued me for attempting to trash Nate's honorable reputation and Nathaniel stood there and left them. At the end there were harsh words exchange and Nathaniel left Manhattan," he concluded. Blair couldn't believe that Nate left that happen to Chuck.

"Anyways that was that," he proceeded, "Humphrey is actually a decent friend of mine. Despite his background and the fact the he neglected to mention you were at my wedding."

"He saw me?"

"Yes, apparently Dan sees all," he rolled his eyes, "but he doesn't say anything."

"What you would you have done if you had seen me before the ceremony?"

Chuck pondered on that. The months before Melanie had turned into Stepford-wife. She had been a replica of Blair. She had loved and cared about him. She was driven and untamed. Would he have done such a shameless thing to Melanie? If it was for Blair, more than likely.

"I probably would have called the whole thing off."

"It wouldn't have been worth it."

Chuck sat back down and stared at Blair intently.

"You were always worth it. I would have done everything and anything to please you, but you were so stubborn. I wanted you to be happy with me or without me. Preferably with me. But you left so abruptly without a trace and I couldn't find you."

"Chuck…" Her voice faltered, "I'm so sorry, but I can't do this. You need to leave."

"Blair, I just got you back." Blair stood and walked to the door and opened it. There was desperation in her eyes. Begging and pleading him to leave.

"You have to go, your wife will probably be wondering where've gone off too." Chuck reluctantly got up.

He walked towards Blair and wrapped his arms round her. They fit like two disoriented puzzle pieces. They were dysfunctional, but they fit. Chuck looked at Blair until their faces were once again merely centimeters apart.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily. I won't give up on us even if you have."

He left her breathless.

TBC...

Thank you to: Isabella Waldass: Yes and Yes, Noirreigne: Thank you as always, ohh its love: hope you enjoy!, TGPfuture writer: That would have been a very interesting turn of events, Fiee23: Thank you!, kikabouca: well here's just part of the reason Blair left, tiffany: Thank you so much!, chairlovforever: It is a CB story filled with a lot of drama, Autumn Estella: enjoy :D, HnM skinnys: hope you enjoy the chapter!, ButterfliesandSophies: Chuck stayed married to Melanie because he felt like he had to. More will be revealed as the story continues