How could they not have noticed earlier?
He wasn't sure which was worse- knowing you were going to die someday, but not knowing when, or being told you only had a few months to live.
He couldn't pick which was worse- learning your mother will die in a few months, or letting her pick a rough date of when she was going to die.
No hope.
That's what the doctor said.
#
Her skin was as cold as ice. Cold, like Jack's.
Pippa wanted to forget that day. She even considered moving to California or some other tropical country. When stuck in Burgess during the winter, she turned the thermostat up. She pulled the curtains, blocking out the view of the falling snow.
She was ecstatic to see the spirit again, but she knew that if she touched Jack, those dreaded memories would come back. The memory of the girl laughing as she sped down the slope with her skis, the wind whipping back her brown hair. The memory of her turning to look at something, distracted for one moment. The memory of her hitting that rock.
The memory of her eldest daughter's ice-cold hands and the lack of a pulse.
#
Mrs. Bennett laughed when she caught her son staring at her. "Jamie, it's just cancer," she said, as casually as she would say 'It's just a pipe leak.' She pointed at her head. "And at least I still have hair." She grinned, but her son did not return her enthusiasm.
"Why don't you want...?" he began.
Mrs. Bennett shook her head slowly. She took a laboured breath. "I'm not dying in a hospital. You know that. You heard what the doctor said. I'd rather be at home, with my kids, than confined to a bed in a bad-smelling place taking stuff that's not going to help."
#
Jack remained silent, listening intently to the boy with the dark eyeshadow. In his 300 years, though he didn't keep up with the fashion industry, he'd noticed the ever-changing ways of dressing and all the weirdest styles. But for him, this one with mostly blacks and skulls really took the cake.
"And that's how she died," the boy concluded. His twin sisters sniffed.
Jack nodded slowly, drinking it in. All he could think was, why hadn't he been there? He could've done something. Why didn't these guardian powers come with something like Multiple Personality Disorder?
"She believed in you," Dark Eyeshadow went on. "Thought maybe if she went skiing and had some fun she would be able to meet you." Was it Jack's imagination or was there a hint of resentment in the boy's voice. Then, he took a deep breath and continued, "We don't blame you, though."
#
Jamie leaned back, staring into space. He tried to distract himself by checking out how little the park had changed since that day when he'd crash-landed in the snow and got a tooth knocked out when that sofa slammed into him. He wondered if it ever got delivered...
A man slid into the seat next to him. Jamie felt a pang of annoyance. He'd wanted to be alone. But then again, if that was what he wanted, why did he even come to the park? Perhaps he should...
"Jamie."
The man was looking at him. Jamie recognised him immediately. He would've recognised him anywhere, though it was a face he wanted to forget.
"Not you."
The man flinched slightly, probably from the bitterness in his son's voice, but Jamie was not sorry.
"I... heard about..."
"About mom? That's cool."
"If there's... anything..."
"If we need anything, we can handle it on our own," Jamie retorted. "We're a family, and family sticks together." He didn't think the final part was necessary, but he'd been compelled to say it.
Mr. Bennett merely stared. Jamie couldn't quite fathom the look in his eyes- sadness? Anger? Annoyance? Guilt?
"So, when..."
"It's none of your business," Jamie said, getting to his feet. He hurried off. It was bad enough learning the rough date of your mother's death, he didn't want to make it worse by informing the world's worst, absent father about it.
#
"Stop it. I'm serious."
Mrs. Bennett frowned at her sister. Mrs. Warren had been sniffing and dabbing at her eyes for the past hour and besides not wanting people to grief even though she was not yet dead, Mrs. Bennett was worried about the rapidly decreasing tissue in the box. She'd just replenished that the previous day. Ethan watched his great-aunt with fascination from his grandmother's lap.
Jamie walked in. His mother could immediately see something was wrong, but her son nodded at his aunt and thundered up the stairs before she could say anything. A moment later, Sophie ran up after him.
"Jamie! We should... there's something we should discuss." She spoke in a loud whisper.
Jamie barely turned, but he stopped in his tracks several feet away from his room door. "If this has anything to do with the funeral, forget it."
Sophie sighed. "Fine, it is. But you have to hear me out." A moment of silence hung between the Bennett siblings. Sophie grabbed Jamie and dragged him into his bedroom and shut the door behind them. "Mom doesn't approve of funerals. All that gushing about the dead person, sickly sweet stuff being said that no one bothered to tell the person when they were still living..."
"Your point exactly?"
Sophie pursed her lips. "I was thinking..."
"That we shouldn't have a funeral for her?"
"No! Uh, I was thinking of... a living funeral."
#
"Where do children go after they die?"
Jack was startled. He glanced down into the bespectacled face of one of Pippa's children- her youngest son who looked creepily like Monty. But Jack didn't want to dwell on that idea. "Um, uh..." Where did he go after he died? He couldn't remember. All he could recall was the moon. He was saved, however, by Pippa's voice calling out to her son.
"Whoops, gotta run!" The boy scrambled to his feet and dashed off.
Jack wanted to leave as well, but the sound of soft footsteps approaching halted him. He leaped lightly to his feet, and spotted Pippa a good four feet away.
Pippa gestured at her son's retreating back, sprinting up the lane towards the house. "I hope he wasn't bothering you."
"No, no. Don't worry."
Pippa took a few steps forward, coming closer. She stared at Jack, like there was something she really wanted to say, but couldn't. She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry about earlier, but I trust they told you what was wrong with me, and you have to know I have nothing against you, but I..."
"Whoa, slow down!" Jack held up a hand. "It's okay. You don't have to apologise."
Pippa inhaled again. "I was just rereading Jamie's book and I think I've been unfair with my kids. You know, being depressed, forbidding them to go out when there's snow..." She bit her lip. "I just wanted to say, they're free to play in the snow now, if they want."
"I'll send you guys a torrent tomorrow!"
"That'll be nice. Thanks, Jack."
"What... what about you?"
Pippa managed a weak smile. "In Jamie's book, Sophie did a pretty realistic picture of Pitch. I'd almost forgotten about him but now it feels like he's everywhere in my life, representing not only darkness and fear, but sadness, sorrow... Well, I think it's a little bit insulting to you guardians working to keep him at bay, and here I am, welcoming him into my life, the lives of my children. So, I've just decided... I'll try not to give in to fear. I'll try."
#
"We're putting the 'fun' back in 'funeral'. Think of it that way," Sophie said.
"Doubt Jack would approve," Jamie muttered.
"And mom loves the idea," Sophie pointed out.
Jamie shrugged. "As long as she's okay with it, I guess. But we're not getting a coffin, are we?"
"Of course!" Sophie sounded a little too cheery. "It'll act as a buffet table, nothing more."
Jamie grimaced. "Are you crazy?"
"Mom likes the idea as well. Though she did say it was a little morbid."
Jamie's shoulders slumped. "Fine."
As far as Jamie knew, Mrs. Bennett had probably about 2 months more. She'd decided one month was too risky, so the living funeral would have to take place two months prior to her estimated death date.
The flower bushes along the street were in full bloom. The Bennetts' yard, however, looked like a botanic garden for weeds. Sophie and Jamie were never much of green thumbs and their mother was the last person they could expect to fix up their garden, given her current state. But at that moment, both siblings, grumbling and groaning, were trying to spruce it up before the coffin arrived.
"So, who did you invite?" Jamie hauled a bag of weeds to the side.
"Just close friends and relatives. Well, just close friends. I don't remember us having any close relatives, besides the mad lady indoors doing absolutely nothing to help mom with her tears," Sophie spat. She yanked the last weed out so hard, she nearly hit herself. "Finished!"
"Just in time," Jamie said, pointing down the road. A delivery van came trundling up. Sophie ran over to the gate, but Jamie turned and busied himself with the disposable bags, his back on the coffin as it was lowered and placed in the yard.
#
Mrs. Warren did her part by shutting herself in the kitchen the whole day, churning out batches of cookies, making sandwiches and cooking up some recipe of hers that looked like a cross between pond scum and burned corn stalks. By eleven in the morning, guests were already filing in through the gate, and Jamie opened up the doors despite the slight spring chill. His mother lounged on a bench on the veranda, meeting and greeting everyone.
"Help yourselves," Sophie said, resting a box of paper plates and cutlery next to the coffin-cum-buffet table. "If it's horrible, please direct all complaints to my aunt."
"Is this really happening? Do I really see a coffin or is it really a table and I'm just hallucinating?" Claude stared hard at the coffin, as though it would morph into something that made more sense if he stared long enough. Caleb brushed the surface of the polished wood with his finger tips and shivered.
"Whose idea was this?" Pippa asked. Though she'd been looking more cheerful recently, Jamie couldn't help noticing that she'd gone exceptionally quiet.
"Sophie's," Jamie quickly said. "But our mom's fine with it."
Pippa glanced in the direction of Mrs. Bennett, who was taking a photo with Monty and Cupcake. The older lady was dressed in a bright yellow dress which she decided was appropriate for a living funeral as opposed to the blues and blacks for regular funerals. Pippa's eyebrows knitted slightly, as though wondering if she was dreaming.
"Sophie's concept is, a living funeral is a gathering to celebrate a person's life," Jamie tried to explain. "Instead of... you know, the usual funerals, where you celebrate a person's death instead. Since mom..."
Pippa nodded.
Several adults whom Jamie assumed were his mother's friends came as well, though many were appalled by Sophie's idea. Jamie stood under a tree, taking in the entire scene. When the temperature dropped, he didn't even bother to look up. "Hi, Jack."
"You didn't tell me you were throwing a party."
Jamie smiled. "It's not a party. It's a funeral." He laughed at the spirit's expression before explaining the whole living funerals thing. Mrs. Bennett waved at them both, before getting up and standing by at the top of the steps leading down from the veranda, facing the guests. Everyone stopped what they were doing, and turned to look at her.
"Dear friends, and guardians," she began. A few of the elders and Mrs. Warren exchanged looks. "My daughter, Sophie suggested this idea of having a living funeral, and apparently, it includes me giving a speech."
"Only if you want to, mom," Sophie said.
Mrs. Bennett nodded, before pulling a slip of paper out of her pocket. "First off, thank you for coming here today, despite it being a little chilly. Also, I'm sure many of you were appalled by the content of the invitation."
"That's an understatement," Cupcake said. Several old ladies nodded.
Mrs. Bennett smiled. "As you all know, I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer a while back. I'd never suspected I had it all along. I didn't want to stay and die in the hospital as... well, who would want that? Besides, I'd rather spend my last days here, at home." Mrs. Bennett's breathing was a little laboured, as though it took all the effort in the world for her to speak.
Without thinking, Jamie leaped up onto the veranda and stood next to his mother. "Since it's a little hard for mom, I'll speak on her behalf." Mrs. Bennett shot her son a grateful look, and handed him the speech she'd written.
"'There are so many people I want to thank for making this life a memorable one, and if you don't hear your name in the following list, that's because it's just a distilled version'," Jamie read. He rattled off a list of names his mother had written. They were names of her friends, some of whom were guests, and they all dabbed at their eyes. His name and Sophie's wasn't on it, though, and neither were their friends.
When Jamie finished, Sophie came up on their mom's other side and held out her hand for the speech. "My turn," she said. Jamie handed it over.
"'To the kids- Pippa, Monty, Cupcake, Claude and Caleb, yes, I know you're not kids anymore, but I never saw you as anything different. Thank you for putting up with Jamie and his wild imagination throughout the years...'" Jamie could tell Sophie was having a lot of fun reading that. "'... and always being there for him. Sophie, as well. To Ethan, try not to grow up too fast.'" Sophie paused and handed the speech to Jamie. "You might want to read this one," she mouthed.
Jamie scanned the next section and found out why. "'To my daughter, Sophie, after everything you've been through, especially in your love life, I am proud of you. I didn't take things as well when your father and I fell out. I hope after I'm gone you'll still continue to... kick-ass.'"
Several guests laughed. Sophie couldn't help smiling.
The speech was passed back to Sophie. "'To my son, Jamie, I just wanted to tell you that I never really minded your imagination and belief in what most presume to be mythical beings. I just got worried when it seemed to get in the way of your life. But don't think that I ever regretted exposing you to fairy tales and such. To the guardians, though they might not all be here...'" Cue the weird looks from some of the guests, but Sophie carried on reading. "'...thanks for everything, and for watching over these kids. To Jack, I'll let you in on a secret. When I found out what Jamie had been doing that night during the Battle of Burgess, I felt a little resentful you didn't get him to wake me up as well. But yeah, I know. I'm an adult and I didn't exactly believe at that time.'"
Jack grinned.
"'I'm not a cheesy type of person, but thanks everyone, and... well, love you all." Mrs. Bennett seemed to grimace and grin at the same time as Sophie read that line.
#
It was too quiet.
Jamie slouched on the couch, staring at the spot where his mother used to sit. His eyes flickered over to a couple of paintings leaning against the wall. After their mother passed, every time Jamie looked at his aunt, as much as he didn't want to, he couldn't help thinking, 'Why her? Why not you?' It made him feel terrible, and so when she decided she wanted to move in with them, he was fine with it. And when she mentioned she was going to sell her house and everything in it, Jamie personally requested for the portraits of Jackson Overland and his sister.
The living funeral idea was inspired by a book I read not too long ago, 'Grounded' by Kate Klise.
Sorry for the late update, but I was a little busy with exams and also working on a non-fanfic story of mine. As usual, thanks for reading!