A/N: I should probably watch these things more closely since this one got pretty long before I ended it. It is pure madness with different arcs thrown in a visits to past chapters and past events within the chapter (it's complete chaos really). Oh well.
Thank you to all you guys who contributed a sentence. This chapter was a combined effort between: Snugglesthefluffykitten, FanFictionKatie, Albedineity, Lumosify
Zuko used to be the Fire Lord, then he took an arrow in the knee from his insane aunt, Katara. She said that a platypus bear told her to do it but we all know that one 9-year old named Kevin made all the platypus bears go extinct, apart from one platypus bear who bore the name "Россия Матушка".
The last Platypus Bear's last words were "xaxaxa" Katara took it upon her self to find the last platypus bear, and make sure it was DEAD. She brought just her bare hands.
Meanwhile, Zuko lay, blood pouring out of his knee, his face white, the guards just laughing. Oh the mighty Fire Lord dying was hilarious to some.
Suddenly, Zuko started hallucinating from malnourishment about a potato, but there was no potato. He hallucinated that a potato was shot in his knee, but he realized it was another arrow. He realized soon that Katara was standing over him, thinking he was the last platypus bear, shooting arrows at the same spot on his knee. Over. And over. And over.
As he stained the marble floors crimson, Zuko started reminiscing his good times (which were very rare). Like the time he went skinny-dipping with some turtleducks when he was twelve. Unfortunately, Azula mistook him for a turtleduck and threw a boulder at him - he still didn't know how she did it.
"Mechasuits from the future!" she cried before she threw another one.
A bizarre woman nodded in satisfaction in the background. She had thick eyebrows. She was muttering something about concentration re-education camps. She learned the ways of the Dai Li secretly as a child, learning of their 're-education system'. Fascinated, she went deeper into their teachings, until she found out how to levitate boulders without bending.
She was the youngest prodigy the Dai Li had ever seen-even younger than Kevin. She realized that she could eat the world in a sandwich if she wanted to.
As Zuko pondered about the odd woman, he realised that he only had 1 minute before completely bleeding out. Katara, (a healer) could have helped him. But what's the point? This kid is just another mouth to feed, and a pretty annoying one at that.
And so, a lament on his lips, Zuko took his last breath.
Just then, Azula walked in. Shocked at what she saw, her jaw dropped.
"Auntie! You're the best! This is all I've ever wanted!" they hugged, then proceeded to have an Agni Kai.
Because they were equal in abilities, they became the new Fire Lord and Fire lady, because screw Ozai.
Suddenly, everyone paused. If Katara was also Azula's aunt, and Iroh is Ozai's only brother, then Katara was...Katara was...
But then they continued about their daily work. Their family is screwed up as it is, no one even cares anymore.
And then Azutara became canon, because incest is the way to go.
No one seemed to notice the time turner Katara hung around her neck all the time. Actually, it just looked like an hourglass to them.
The whole screwed up family was in the same room that day. Who would miss the show of Zuko dying? It was a relief for everyone. But then they heard a knock on the door. They opened it, and there was a large ship, labeled "Zutara". Teenagers in hoodies stood beside it, guns in hand.
Suddenly, Aang appeared, looking angry at the ship. He went into avatar state, and all the teenagers took out their cellphone cameras. The phones were cut out from cardboard, as the avatar universe doesn't contain that technology yet.
They weren't exactly sure how they'd gotten into that universe, and some were staring at bottle of water, trying to bend something. It was clearer how when they discovered that the water was actually vodka.
"ZUTARA!" One of the teenagers yelled, and the rest of the teenagers raised their pitchforks and torches.
Azula stepped in and turned everyone to ash.
The kids wake up, with a pounding headache, and they instantly reach for more of that beautiful hallucination. They hallucinated about the lack of potato too. The kids stare at the writer suspiciously, wondering if they're dead or hungover. They were both.
The potato ate one of the teenagers' head off. The now headless teenager groped around, smashed that potato, then proceeded to bleed to death. But then the potato disappeared; poof, gone.
Other teenagers (that hadn't bled to death) ran for their lives, not knowing they were already dead.
Azula, bored, slammed the doors and left them all to perish while she came back to her throne.
"Daddy, when is the next Father-Daughter Convention?! It's been two days!" Azula demanded.
"Shut up, my sweet daughter" Ozai said dismissively.
"I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS DISRESPECT!" Azula boomed like a good little Fire Lord.
The replacement Zuko walks by, munching on fire flakes, not surprised by all the noise.
"You, boy!" Ozai barked. "Give my daughter those fire flakes or I'll behead you!"
"What?" Zuko asked. They taste like potatoes. "Shadaaap" he said, putting on headphones that hadn't been invented yet. The headphones were made of cardboard, just like his cellphone. Everything remotely like future technology was made of cardboard.
Replacement Zuko was an automaton (a.k.a. mechatank), which happens to be future technology. Unfortunately, since he is existing, and he's modern, the whole dimension becomes modern, and turns into cardboard.
The xaxaxa wizards decided everything made of cardboard would now be pineapples, so the whole world is a giant pineapple. Reality ate that giant pineapple. Logic joined him and she invited him to a match of Pai Sho.
They played for awhile, but Logic said,
"This is not reality. This is from a TV show."
"Screw reality, and screw Logic! We want Avatar!" shouted fangirls.
The fangirls grabbed their pitchforks and torches and went in search of Katara, the Avatar's girlfriend. They would burn her to ashes.
But they didn't know that Azula and Katara got married - they became the ultimate power and destroyed the fangirls.
"Yes! " Azula exclaimed. "We have defeated the shippers for all time! They will never rise from the ashes of their shame and humiliation!"
Katara looked over at Azula and said, "I'm only in this for the pizza... You said I'd get pizza."
Then she danced on Zuko's corpse which was still lying on the floors, because nobody cared enough about him. Azula sprinkled cheese on the corpse and said that was pizza. Then it was her turn to dance on Zuko's corpse.
After the dance, they grabbed forks, and started eating Zuko. Katara said it was just cheese, because Zuko is nothing; so Katara dumped Azula and ran away to find Kevin, an esteemed member of the Dai Li.
The side dishes were turtleducks, but they went uneaten in the hurry for finding Kevin. But they realized he was made of cardboard.
Reality and Logic teamed up, then broke into this nonsense, and everything excluding them turned into cardboard. They even turned each other into cardboard. Cardboard Kevin was painted in red with a yellow sign painted on him: a sickle and a hammer
Then Alice, Kevin's biggest rival (also nine) in the Dai Li painted a symbol for Palpatine's Galactic Empire. However, the paint was from cardboard too, so it didn't work out too well.
Kevin screamed and woke up to platypus-bears dancing on his head.
"All hail Alice!" They chanted.
He realised it was the queen of platypus. "NOT AGAIN," screamed Aang in the distance.
"KORRA, WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?!"
Korra shrugged and continued making out with Asami.
"All hail Korrasami!" The bears chanted.
Kevin whispered, "nice" and started chanting too.
Alice pushed Korra aside and started making out with Asami. Korra then suggested a threesome and they all agreed.