A/N: More hilarity and craziness ensue. This one gets kinda gross near the end. I hope you still get some laughs.
Thank you to all you guys who contributed a sentence. This chapter was a combined effort between: Shutterfly Simmons, Albedineity, Snugglesthefluffykitten, FanFictionKatie, Lumosify
Azula was skipping through the woods with a basket of goodies to take to her grandmother's house. She didn't realize that she was being stalked by a lion turtle.
"Lion turtle!" She yelled, elated to see her oldest friend.
The giant creature roars "I AM NOT A LION TURTLE, I AM A MINE TURTLE! HELLO!"
"Why hello!" she said, the stomped on the turtle for no apparent reason, triggering an explosion that sent her flying.
While she was in the air, she saw two people in white suits, a male with purple hair and a girl with red hair, and a talking cat that yelled "Team Rocket's blasting off again!"
Azula landed in the hot air balloon, and tried to firebend at that ugly redhead (she didn't necessarily dislike the other two).
Just before they blasted off, Azula's firebending deteriorated part of the hot balloon, causing all four of them to fall back to the explosion site where the mine turtle was.
"Hello!" It said before exploding again.
The group was blown downwards this time, until they fell into a cave full of badgermoles.
The cat panicked and sang "Badgermoles coming toward me, come on guys, help me out!"
Azula picked up the whiney derp, and said, "Take this THING as a sacrifice!" "Oh, and this pebble." she added, seeing one on the ground. The badgermoles nodded, and took the cat and pebble. Nobody listened to the cat's screams for help.
But then, the cat evolved into a Persian and started fighting the badgermoles.
A Dai Li officer appeared and yelled, "Look out, it's got a nose!" and shot several times at the Persian cat.
The cat returned to a pokeball, but the badgermoles got mad, seeing that they'd lost one of their sacrifices. The badgermoles were mad at the agent, for he shot cardboard bullets at them. One badgermole got hit by a bullet, and he turned into cardboard.
The badgermoles declared war and threw the cardboard-that-used-to-be-a-badgermole at the Dai Li agent. The Dai Li agent proceeded to die.
Azula blew a horn that summoned an army of communist platypus bears to aid them in battle. The badgermoles laughed at the tiny army and ate all the platypus bears.
Meanwhile, cardboard began to spread like wildfire, people's and animal's body parts turning into it for no apparent reason. Many Earth Kingdom villages were quarantined in an attempt to stop the disease.
However, the Quarantine Committee for Safety Purposes was closed for maintenance. They left a protective watering can with everyone in the villages. Unfortunately, watering cans were modern which meant they were cardboard, and all they did was spread the virus.
Azula glared at the badgermoles and started yelling, using every cuss word that existed and even some she made up.
The badgermoles weren't very good at English, so they mistranslated everything she said. They thought she said "Take me as your own sacrifice." They also thought she said, "I am hungry for a sandwich!"
The badgermoles kidnapped her and denied her a sandwich, giving her a potato instead. She ate the potato, and fell into a poison-induced coma.
When she awoke, all she could smell was deep fried nachos. The badgermoles believed in food scented perfumes, which were somehow made out of cardboard. The smell of cardboard scented perfume made her sick.
She vomited into a glass container, hoping to make a new breakthrough in perfume scents with it. The badgermoles loved the vomit scent (it was a turn on for them) and gave Azula a billion currency for the product. Azula accepted the currency, and set afoot on a journey to sell her vomit perfume.
Sadly, only badgermoles appreciated her vomit perfume, since everyone else was cardboard. Except for Katara and Aang. Katara was immune because she still had STS (Slap Things Syndrome), and Aang was immune because of his irregular sleeping patterns and strange nightmares.
Upon seeing Azula, Katara went into a slap frenzy. But because she wasn't cardboard, the vomit perfume was appealing to her, and she stopped slapping.
Azula explained that she was underground when the virus appeared, so she had no idea why she was immune. Katara was furious that there was another immune person, meaning she wasn't as special anymore.
Katara raided her vomit perfume and attempted to stab Azula with an ice spike. Then she realized that the only people immune were people she was in a relationship with, so it must be all HER doing. After all, kissing transmits a lot of things.
Katara regained the urge to slap Azula, so she did. Azula managed to turn the slap into a soap opera, and before they knew it they were a couple again. And thus, Azutara became canon (again).
Aang was asleep this entire time and missed everything. Soon he woke up, and took a bit out of Azula. At least, he thought it was Azula, it was actually an Azula-shaped cabbage.
The cabbage merchant wanted to scream "My cabbages!" But he couldn't, since he was made of cardboard. He couldn't even hire someone to scream it for him.
The cardboard pandemic was worse than any zombie virus the Gaang had encountered before. People expected the Avatar to do something about it, but Aang was too busy waging war against Azula-shaped cabbages.
Everything changed when the Melon Lord teamed up with the cabbages, and launched a campaign of war against all things cardboard. Sadly, this meant 32.76% of the cardboard population died.
Avatar Aang knew he had to stop the melon-cabbage alliance, so he ate them all- every. last. one.