A/N: Something is happening in this. Reminds me of Prof Doof from Phineas & Ferb.
Thank you to all you guys who contributed a sentence. This chapter was a combined effort between: Lumosify, Snugglesthefluffykitten, Shutterfly Simmons, FanFictionKatie
Toph sat behind her desk at the police department with her legs propped on top, her head turned towards the open window. Toph was hiding from the lemons - those horrible monstrosities. Oranges on the other hand, were quite good. Only the rich could afford such delicious fruits. Sadly, Toph couldn't have pineapples because she was allergic. She ate them anyway because she was tough, but soon realized one she just ate carried a virus, and she turned into cardboard.
Oh boy. Here we go again. Toph thought while she transformed. Still, she was tough, and she could move and bend normally while she was cardboard. She prayed to the spirits that it didn't rain. Then she remembered she was inside.
But what would happen if she was outside when it was raining, or if she fought a waterbending criminal? She then wondered why she asked herself this, because obviously she already knows so no one needs to explain it.
Her phone began to ring, but she couldn't answer it since she was cardboard- all that came out were weird grunts. It was a telemarketer calling her, so they didn't really care about what she had attempted to say.
She ate her phone, because why not. Phones were supposed to be very healthy and had many benefits. Unfortunately, that phone was made of cardboard, erasing any benefits possible. It just made Toph more cardboard, if that made any sense.
Then all the cardboard turned into pineapple. The pineapple was stolen by Cabbage Corp who was also made of pineapple.
Pineapple was declared the national fruit in all nations, except for the fire nation. Zuko's protesting unit began a riot over the usage of cardboard, so it was banned in the Fire Nation, causing the other nations to ban them as well because they were all playing follow-the-leader. They liked follow the leader more than hogmonkey in the middle. Nobody liked being a hogmonkey and using actual hogmonkeys was a mistake that no one had wanted to repeat.
The fire nation attempted to bomb the water tribe but failed, not realizing that the water tribe was still playing follow the leader, and they sent a bomb at the fire nation, which sent it into chaos.
Meanwhile, the Earth kingdom and Air nomads weren't sure who to bomb, so they bombed random villagers. The whole world was in chaos, blood and fire everywhere. People who were squeamish barricaded themselves in their houses and died of some sickness or another.
The Air Nomads saw what they had become, and laughed- being evil was fun! They no longer preached about peace and non violence. Instead, they told people to embrace the dark side of the force... whatever that was.
One person had tried asking, but they had been coated in fruit pie and locked in a cage with a starving flying lemur. The only thing left was the furry tail...
The Air nomads were earning a fearsome reputation. Some even compared them to the Galactic Empire, who now bowed down to the Nomads. The nomads took problem solving skills out of the curriculum and replaced it with cackling lessons to further embrace evil.
The Fire Nation knew it was a matter of time before they built a superlaser that could destroy the world, so they launched another attack on the temples; but the Air Nomads were prepared. They had bribed the fire nation mechanics with fruit pies and got them to sabotage the fire nation tanks.
Finally the machine was done: The blowuptheentireworldinator! The Air Nomads made sure to patent the word "Blowuptheentireworldinator". But, they accidentally spelled it wrong on the patent form and patented the word "Bowupthewordinator" instead. So the Fire Nation was able to construct a "Blowuptheentireworldinator" without any legal problems, leading to a Cold War between the two nations.
The Earth Kingdom was terrified, since it was located in the middle of the two warring nations.
Luckily no one cared about the Water Tribe, who were secretly building a "Blackholeinator" to destroy the universe. Everyone was confident that the blackholeinator would explode and set the Water tribe on fire.
Then everyone forgot about the machine because the xaxaxaxa wizards wanted it to be a surprise. Ruining surprises was punishable by death, death by being mauled by penguin otters. It was horrible, since nobody could eat the penguin otters after they ate fellow tribe members.
Nobody wanted to think about that anymore, since there were two moon sized superlasers in the sky. One of them created an artificial solar eclipse.
There was an ancient prophecy about an artificial solar eclipse: "When a superlaser in space blocks out the sun, cheeseburgers will from the sky." And cheeseburgers did indeed fall from the sky. Several fell in the ocean, so people went on quests to save them, but they were eaten by Nessie, confirming the existence of Illuminati.
The swamp benders were annoyed that they were being left out of all the world domination. So the xaxaxa wizards gave them sand sharks (sharks that swim in the ground) to ride. One of them tripped over a pebble and died.
By doing this, the shark confirmed the existence of the Society That Confirms the Existence of Things. The shark was the CEO's assistant's substitute's secretary's chef.
After discovering that the sand shark cheated to get his job, he was executed by being placed in water. The shark was not to be given a funeral according to his contract. He did not even deserve a funeral- he was a traitor to the society. It was so scandalous, the letters "s," "h," "a," "r," and "k" were banned.
i the toy even bout vat nymo?
How did we get to thi point?
The Society That Confirms the Existence of Things then decided that it was better to ban the faniction story "My Immortal" than the letters "s" "h" "a" "r" and "k". All schools told children to shun Tara Gilesbie and if they spoke to her or mentioned the story, the world would be destroyed by a superlaser. People who craved world destruction had their mouths duct taped.
Finally it was time to reveal the blackholeinator and if anyone even thought about TLA movie, then the Water Tribe would unleash its power...
The earth kingdom was liked discussing the horrid movie and declared war against the water tribe. The Earth Kingdom had no idea at which pole the blackeholeinator was at however, so they sent two Nessies to investigate, one to each pole.
But, they forgot to give the Nessie 's maps, so they got lost. One Nessie encountered a man named Jack Sparrow, who rambled about "rum" and "jars of dirt". The Nessie gave him a stolen cabbage. The man (and cabbage) were eaten by a Kraken.
The Nessie got bored and wandered around in hexagons. Swimming in hexagons was the key to bringing back the ancient art of dubstep, thus making that Nessie a hero of the people.
But, the Nessie didn't know it was a hero, since it was still lost. People tried rescuing the hero in an airplane, but they crashed in the ocean since it was made of cardboard. The Nessie ate the cardboard plane. The people forgave it (and always would) since it brought back their precious dubstep music. People built shrines in honor of the Nessie, who still didn't have a name.
Meanwhile, the other Nessie swam in circles, and was booed at by everyone since circles were overrated.