A/N: This chapter is noticably shorter... I did that because it was a transitional chapter (haha, maybe. Or maybe I just didn't know what to write. D: Or I could've just been lazy.) Anyways, there's a little treat at the end of the chapter to make up for the shortness.
Also, sorry if I didn't get to reply to your reviews- you see, where I live has suddenly turned into a troical rainforest and there hasn't been a single day that it hasn't thunderstormed in the last week. And I'm talking serious superstorms- blinding rain and power outages :(

Luckily, the dark clouds didn't explode today; so onto chapter 4! X3

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha; duh. XD
Rated: Mature For mainly crude language, sexual references, and mature situations.

CHAPTER 4

I felt sinful, in a way. I felt disgustingly sinful as I watched her from afar. I felt disgusting.

It had been such a long while since I had first met her. It had been such a long time since she had requested my friendship. It had been such a long time since I had let her into my life. I couldn't even imagine now. I couldn't even imagine life without her.

"Sango?" she looked up at me with such a noble intensity that burned my soul. I found myself stunned once again by her electric blue eyes. Stunned by the fact that she was still looking at me the way she did.

"Yo?" I breathed gently, feeling my heart burn with the thought of her beautiful blue eyes gazing at me.

"I've got permission to get off work early today, remember?" she asked as she carefully stacked the papers.

When I had found that out from Kagura I had wanted to ask Kagome if she wanted to go catch a movie or something. I wanted to ask if we could hang out- we never did. I figured she was too afraid to, but that wasn't the case. She never wanted to because she already had plans.

"You and Koga going out again?" I asked her.

"Yeah," she said with a bright blush.

I made me hot with anger to know Koga got to date someone as innocent as Kagome. It made me hot with anger to know that such an asshole that would totally screw up Kagome got the opportunity to date her- to be her boyfriend. But who was I to be angry about that? I was no one; I wasn't even worthy enough in her eyes to hang out with in public. She pretty much avoided talking to me everywhere but my apartment where she did Kagura's books. It hurt inside.

"Ok, well let me get you home then," I sighed as I tossed down my physics book.

"I'm sorry for interrupting you studies," she said as she pulled on her coat.

"I wasn't really studying," I shrugged truthfully.

The drive to her apartment was silent. I didn't offer conversation and neither did she. It was awkward to say the least- but I didn't mind. As long as she was with me; that's all I cared about.

"Hey, maybe you can come watch the movie with us?" she offered.

"No thanks," I replied softly as I parked the car. Gosh, was she nuts? Did she really think I wanted to be around them being all lovey-dovey? That'd kill me.

She looked a little hurt, possibly worried, that I shot down her suggestion, but was she really expecting me to accept it? I'd hope not.

"Could you please tell Kohaku to come out here?"

Ever since Kohaku and Souta, Kagome's little brother, became best friends in school, I was at her house a lot more. It didn't matter, however, because she was always out with Koga. It was like their relationship was really getting intense… well, as intense as Kagome could possibly be- which probably wasn't more than just kissing.

"Ah, sure," she said looking down at her shoes awkwardly. "Goodnight Sango, I'll see you at school."

I grunted and she hesitantly headed off.

I watched her walk off realizing that I felt some sort of sick possessiveness- I brushed it off as a sister kind of thing at the time.

The time I spent alone hadn't really gotten any better for me. I found myself reminiscing more and more and it hurt. It hurt more than anything I could possibly imagine… In fact, it might've hurt more than the actual fact of the things I was reminiscing.

I was hanging around school one day during lunch because I didn't feel like wasting gas to go eat out. I had found myself a nice secluded spot out near the lunch room. It was relatively warm out, though the dark clouds hung low and heavy. It was nice, for a change, to be at school.

"Sango?" a hesitant voice questioned. I looked to my right to see InuYasha standing beside me.

His long hair fell forward as he looked down at me.

"What do you want?" I asked coldly, startled that he had even approached me.

"I want to talk."

"About what?"

He didn't answer, but merely sat. It was awkward to say the least. I could smell his body spray as he scooted a little closer before settling. I could feel the warmth radiating from his body. He sighed deeply before starting.

"Do you want to go to the movies or something this weekend?"

His eyes were shut casually, but a cute blush lay atop his cheeks. I could tell that the nonchalant attitude was only a mask for the nervousness he was feeling inside.

"You're kidding right?" I asked, skeptically. What was he up to?

"Look, I've wanted to ask you for a while now…. But I've been a bit hesitant because I can tell that you're still hurting because of Miroku. This doesn't have to be a relationship thing- I just want to be friends again," he said pinning me with deep amber eyes.

"Friends again, huh?" I asked looking down at my fingernails which were painted black.

"Yeah," he said with a hesitant smile.

I sat silently, not answering him and he sat silently as well. The look on his face was hopeful and calm. He felt at ease with me- he was probably the only person in the whole school who felt at ease with me and I knew that was due to the nearly indestructible friendship we had before the whole tragedy of Miroku. I could go as far as to say that InuYasha was my best friend.

We met in middle school and became instant friends. We were inseparable. He was always very popular due to his strikingly good looks and the fact that he was my friend was quite the surprise to many. It just happened we became such close friends because I wasn't like all the other girls he knew; I didn't want him because of his looks. I wanted his personality because of the happiness it brought me by being his friend- my first friend after losing the last half of my parental duo to a drunk driver.

We had completely different scenes, however. I was as I was in high school. Not Goth, not punk- but weird. He was a total jock. InuYasha had the palest of pale blonde hair and the same cutely cocky smile plastered on his perfect lips all the time. I never had a smile or a frown. InuYasha was the first to make me smile after my father's death. He began to mean so much to me. I began to mean so much to him.

And then he introduced me to his friend Miroku and everything changed.

"Well?" he asked gently.

Was it worth it to live my past again- to allow myself the blissful indulgence of possibly the best friend I ever had? Was it worth it to let InuYasha's happiness seep into my life again? Was it worth it to allow his confidence to fill me as easily as it fills him? Wouldn't it hurt? Could I survive that pain?

I opened my mouth to decline his offer, but then a sight caught my eye. Kagome and Koga walked hand and hand across the courtyard. They stopped and began to exchange a few words- Kagome's smile filled her face. Koga leaned forward and captured her lips in a quick kiss. Her smile widened as he pulled back and he said something to her. Their lips were suddenly attached again and I watched as an innocent kiss evolved into something else.

Jealously filled me easily. Jealousy of their happiness.

"Sure," I bit out, tearing my eyes away from the scene. It hurt to watch; Koga's lips on lips so perfect and pure.

"Thanks Sango," InuYasha said with a genuine smile. "Thanks for giving me a chance."

"I've been thinking… about the way I've been living my life," I said gently. "It's so empty."

"Empty?"

"Would 'boring' be a better word?" I sighed, suddenly tired.

"Well, trust me when I say that I'll do my best to brighten your days," InuYasha said standing. "Thank you so much for accepting my offer, Sango."

My name sounded so exciting on his lips; so lively. I took the hand he offered and allowed him to pull me up to my feet. His hand was so warm- so alive.

"I've realized that I need this too," I said, not dropping his hand. He smiled and looked down at our hands.

"You gonna keep holding my hand?" he joked lightly. I smiled and dropped his hand.

"Not right now," I replied with a flirting smirk. "I'm looking forward to the movie this weekend. Choose a good one."

I walked away from the smiling boy and wondered why I suddenly felt something that I hadn't felt in a long while. I wondered why hope filled me to the brim and joyful apprehension danced in my forest green eyes.

Thanks for reading; review please!
-Enigmatic Ethereality

Previews of Next Chapter:

She didn't say anything and she didn't push me away. She just held me. That night we didn't really exchange words after that. I sat on the couch, in her arms, until I fell asleep. She and Kohaku were there very late- but it was Friday, and they didn't mind. That morning, when I woke, I was pleased to find that I was still in her arms.

Over the night, our position had changed. I was lying atop her and she had her arms wrapped comfortably around my waist. God, she was so warm. I lifted my head a bit to look around. I suddenly felt my face heat up in a ridiculous blush

How the hell did we get into my bedroom and in bed together?

"Kagome, please, if there's anything I want from you it is for you to respect the fact that I don't ever want to talk about him, ok? That's all I want from you- I don't need your time, I don't need you friendship, I just need you to know that I can't talk about him."

Her voice was surprisingly soft. It shook- nearly breaking- with emotion and I watched as tears slipped down her cheeks. She was crying. I thought I'd never see her cry. In that moment, Sango seemed more human than ever.

"But… you said we could talk about anything," I whimpered. Her eyes looked pained as she watched me. She brushed a few tears from her cheeks.