A/N: Well here it is! Chapter 5; and lemme tell you- you're in for an intense chapter here. It's a good one, I promise. So please read to your heart's content. ;D And thank you to my reviewers!!

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha; duh. XD
Rated: Mature For mainly crude language, sexual references, graphic scenes, and mature situations.

CHAPTER 5

Seemingly an enigma of secluded and guarded emotion- that was Sango and she only became more and more complicated as the days wore on. From the moment I met her, I had to develop a different idea about her every time we spoke with each other, but that's what I liked about her. She seemed to be the only change in my ridiculously predictable life.

At first, she was true to her image. Her words were as cold as her amazingly deep green eyes. For some reason, however, her piercings and dark clothes didn't push me away; they intrigued me. I wanted to get to know her. I'm glad that's how I felt at first, because the more and more I talked to her; the more and more I realized that she was actually an amazing person still recovering from some really deep emotional wounds. Her attitude was hard to put up with at times, but I bore on because I felt she was worth it and I was right. She was a beautiful person, inside and out.

And lucky me- I was her only friend. I felt honored and privileged to have befriended her. Her undying internal beauty was all mine and I felt suddenly closer to her than anyone else in my life. It couldn't really be explained, our friendship, but it was there- It existed. I cherished every moment I spent with her because she was so engaging. What was even better was how she took such good care of me once we started getting closer. She drove me places, helped me with homework, and looked after me. She was like a big sister.

"Hey, babe, you ready to go?"

I looked up to see Koga standing in my doorway looking as sexy as ever.

"Ah, yeah. Just let me grab my bag," I said turning to head up to my room and fighting a blush caused by his pet name.

Sango sat in the living room with her brother and mine- they were watching TV. Well, at least our little brothers were. Sango was giving me a grim stare. She didn't look angry, but she didn't look happy either- her face was neutral. She had been giving me these looks a lot lately- they were frightening. I was always worried that something bad would happen after seeing her look at something like that. She then looked past me at Koga. Her eyes hardened a considerable amount.

I hurried upstairs quickly. I knew that Sango hated Koga. She hated him with a passion and I had to wonder why. He was a really nice guy- I mean, don't get me wrong, he could be a total prick at times, but he was sweet when he wanted to be. His attempts at showing off his masculinity to impress me were quite flattering and I could go as far as to say they were cute too. But for Sango to give him such scornfully hateful looks- I really had to wonder… maybe they had had a falling out before I came to the school. I decided I'd ask Koga when we got out.

When I got downstairs I could feel the tension pouring off Sango. Koga had advanced into the living room and Sango was standing, as stiff as a plank. Her dark green, narrow eyes were smoldering and focused on Koga, but her face held that same emotionless expression. Our little brothers were looking on at the spectacle as well- probably feeling as uneasy as I was.

"Ah, Sango?" I started, causing her eyes to snap towards me sharply. "If you're still here when my mom gets back with my grandpa can you-"

"Sure," she cut me off with a clipped sentence. I wondered if she had really known what I was going to ask. It was possible; she seemed to almost always know what I was going to say.

She took a seat and shut her eyes as she took a deep breath. Stillness took over her form and it looked as if she had fallen asleep- but we all knew better. It was obvious she didn't want to talk, so I decided to leave.

"Let's go Koga," I said grabbing his hand. Our little brothers put their attention back on the TV.

"What the fuck is her problem?" Koga vented as we got into the car.

"I was going to ask you the same thing," I said shutting my door.

"How am I supposed to know? All I did was come in to say 'hi' and she freaking looks like she wants to murder me," grumbling, he started the car.

"You didn't say anything rude did you?"

"What?!"

"Ok, never mind," I sighed, not in the mood for arguing with him that night. Plus it was probably just Sango being an asshole- she was just as much as a problem as Koga was at times.

"Look- let's just forget that bitch and have a good night," he said and with a smile he turned up the volume of the radio.

"Koga, don't call her a bitch," I snapped at him.

He looked surprised and I probably did too.

"Look, I respect Sango a lot, and she's my best friend and I just want to know why she gives you looks like that. Did something happen in the past that I don't know about?" I asked as I turned the volume down. He looked peeved but then hesitant. He turned into a parking lot and parked the car. We were nowhere near our destination- I felt the apprehension due to what was about to happen; due to what he was about to tell me.

"Yeah, I mean… it wasn't all my fault- what happened, that is," he stuttered.

"Koga?"

"Look, I feel really bad about what happened to her- and I don't feel comfortable talking about it."

My eyebrows furrowed and he smiled gently.

"You're so cute, you know," he said before leaning down to give me a peck on the lips. My heart fluttered- but now was not the time.

"Is it really bad enough for you to have to give me a kiss before you tell me?" I asked, exasperated. I reached up and brushed his black bangs from his eyes a bit. His light blue eyes were still and focused on my own intensely. The seriousness in his look frightened me.

"Someone died because of something stupid that I did," Koga blurted looking away from me.

I didn't know what to say.

"Someone died?" My voice was shaking. I knew that all of Sango's family was dead except for her and Kohaku. Could Koga have been the cause of one of those deaths? My head hurt just thinking about it. I felt my eyes water at the thought. I suddenly realized that I had barely scratched the surface of the one I called my best friend.

"Yeah…. Her… her boyfriend."

Boyfriend? That was something new. This whole time I was thinking Sango was flaming lesbian because of the way she interacted with Kagura- plus her looks and attitude fit her into the ridiculous qualification for that stereotype. I couldn't even imagine Sango in a relationship- she was just so cold. Unless….

"How was she…? Before he died?"

"God- she was a completely different person. She talked to people and she was fairly popular. I was even friends with her and we hung out together if InuYasha wasn't around. It was like… she died with him."

Tears fell from my eyes and slipped down my cheeks.

"Kagome, I'm sorry- I didn't want to ruin this night," he sighed tilting his head back and shutting his eyes. "God."

"No, it was my fault for pushing the subject."

It was silent for a moment and I forced myself to stop crying.

"But Koga," I started, "if this happened before I got here, why is it now that she's stopped ignoring you and started giving you death stares.

"You're right… up until recently- she just kind of ignored me," he mumbled.

"She's so complex," I sighed as he started the car.

"Look, I don't feel like going anywhere anymore. Let me take you back home."

I didn't argue and we were in my driveway in mere minutes.

"Just one last question Koga- how exactly was it your fault; his death?"

"It wasn't my fault!" he exploded. "It was just… just….."

I grabbed his hand and he sighed heavily. Our fingers were suddenly intertwined.

"It was at a party. Sango and Miroku were there and… uh… well, I had some 'illegal substances'," he stated with a light blush. "Some of the guys and I got totally baked in addition to getting drunk as well. Sango was pretty furious about it. I vaguely remember her cussing me out and stuff and in the end she got into an argument with her boyfriend who was one of the guys who had gotten totally trashed with me. I last saw them getting into a car, fussing each other out. They got into an awful accident, Kagome. Miroku didn't have his seatbelt on and… Well, he died."

"How long ago was this?" I asked, suddenly realizing I was crying again.

"Just the beginning of the last school year. It's been over a year and I still feel shitty about it all the time. I wish I wasn't as stupid as I was my junior year- crazy shit like that wouldn't have happened."

"Thank you for telling me, Koga," I said honestly, squeezing his hand softly.

"You needed to know and I doubt Sango says more than a few words anyways," he said with a wry smile.

I smiled at him and he kissed me. The kiss was tender and soft. My heart began to pound as my cheeks smoldered at the feeling of his lips on mine. Koga was really something.

"I'll see you later. Maybe we can try going out tomorrow or something," he kissed me again.

"Yeah, and thank you Koga," I got out the car.

"Bye babe," he waved and pulled out of the driveway.

When I got to my door I began to rummage in my purse for my house key, but the door opened and Sango stood before me. She was obviously about to leave because she had her jacket on and Kohaku was saying goodbye to Souta. She stared dully at me but then worry seeped into her deep green eyes. Her lips parted slowly and I wondered if she was going to say something about my red eyes and cheeks- or ask why I was home so early.

Tears suddenly sprung to my eyes again as I looked at her pained expression and I threw myself into her arms and started crying. She held me tightly, her hand in my hair and her arm around my shoulder. I could feel the strong, steady beat of her heart against my cheek. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed- I just couldn't stop because I kept thinking about how Sango had been so unfortunate. That almost everything she loved had been taken away from her unfairly.

And then it hit me- possibly the answer to why Sango's empty gazes at Koga had turned into hateful glares. It was because of me- it was because I had become her friend and then suddenly stopped hanging out with her. It was because, in a way, Koga had taken me away from her. I held her tightly and I let her know that she was very important to me.

"You're my best friend Sango, you know that right?" I cried.

She didn't say anything and she didn't push me away. She just held me. That night we didn't really exchange words after that. I sat on the couch, in her arms, until I fell asleep. She and Kohaku were there very late- but it was Friday, and they didn't mind. That morning, when I woke, I was pleased to find that I was still in her arms.

Over the night, our position had changed. I was lying atop her and she had her arms wrapped comfortably around my waist. God, she was so warm. I lifted my head a bit to look around. I suddenly felt my face heat up in a ridiculous blush

How the hell did we get into my bedroom and in bed together?

My mom must've 'woken' us up when she got home that night. Oh man, I wondered what she was thinking when she saw the two of us wrapped in each other's arms on the couch. I hope she knew what I had with Koga had been getting a little serious.

I sighed gently and looked down at Sango. At times, I had a hard time getting over how amazingly gorgeous she was. Her brown hair, long and silky, was splayed out around her head. Her generous lips were pink and slightly parted; I could hear her soft and steady breathing. I looked back up towards her eyes to see her long dark lashes lift just lightly from her perfectly tanned skin. Beautiful jade green eyes were revealed to me.

She looked at me for a while, her eyes barely open. I held my breath hoping that she'd fall asleep again. Her lips curled into a slight smile and I smiled back at her. She was so beautiful.

"Good morning, Kagome," she breathed lightly with a voice sensuous from sleep.

"Good morning," I managed with a light blush.

"How are you feeling?"

I suddenly remembered- Oh, last night. And if by cue, my eyes began to water. She looked worried and I rested my head on her chest, as I had been doing when I was sleeping, to hide my face from her.

"Kagome?"

"Yes Sango," I mumbled.

"What happened last night?"

I was silent and I contemplated whether or not to say anything. There was a ninety percent chance that Sango would react in a way that could be disastrous, but I wanted to be truthful with her. I wanted her to trust me and I wanted answers of my own.

"Koga…. He, well…."

"God, did that bastard do something to hurt you?" she asked with her arms tightening around me just a bit. I felt a bit uneasy because of the build of Sango's arms, which were just a bit larger than an average girl's. Her body was so fit; it was ridiculous, because she didn't do any sports that I knew of.

"No, no. Koga was great…." I lifted my head to look at her again. In an instant our eyes connected and I saw that unbridled anger building. Her eyes searched mine deeply for truth and she relaxed visibly.

"Then what happened? You know we can talk about anything," she said hesitantly.

"Are you sure Sango? We can talk about anything?"

She nodded confidently, her eyes still reading the emotions in my eyes.

"Tell me about… tell me about Miroku."

All emotion fell from her face and her muscles went lax beneath me. She pushed me off of her and sat up, pushing the comforter from her body.

"No."

And with that she stood and left the room and locked herself in my bathroom.

I silently cried, hurt by the fact that she didn't want to share that part of her life with me. It hurt more than I thought it would. She exited minutes later with an empty look on her face.

"Kagome, please, if there's anything I want from you it is for you to respect the fact that I don't ever want to talk about him, ok? That's all I want from you- I don't need your time, I don't need you friendship, I just need you to know that I can't talk about him."

Her voice was surprisingly soft. It shook- nearly breaking- with emotion and I watched as tears slipped down her cheeks. She was crying. I thought I'd never see her cry. In that moment, Sango seemed more human than ever.

"But… you said we could talk about anything," I whimpered. Her eyes looked pained as she watched me. She brushed a few tears from her cheeks.

"I can't Kagome," she sighed tiredly.

"Why do I even talk to you? When you ask me something- I answer you straight out; I share that part of my soul with you. But when I ask you something all you can do is say 'no' and then leave it be! I know nothing about you Sango, nothing. It hurts to know that you can't share that with me," my voice broke two times as I ranted.

"Kagome, it's different."

"No the hell it's not!" I snapped. "I've told you everything! I tell you everything!" I yelled.

"But I don't fucking ask you to! Do you think I want to hear about your good test grade, or how much you like kissing Koga?! You just spew your shit and expect me to care!" she yelled back.

"Do you?" my voice had lowered into a mere whisper. She suddenly realized what she said and regret engulfed her face like a rampant fire. Her eyes widened and her lips parted in an attempt to speak.

"Kagome… I'm sorry," she stepped forward- I backed away. Tears fell down my cheeks quickly.

"No Sango; I understand," I stuttered. "I should've known that you were putting up with me just because you were bored or something."

"No, Kagome- that's not it," she scrambled. "Look, just let me explain."

"What the fuck is there to explain?! I get it- you really don't want to be my friend," I tried to push past her to avoid her seeing me cry any more than she had.

I didn't get very far seeing as she reached out and grabbed me after I got past her. I tried to tug my arm away but she had a good grip and any extra movement I made, made it hurt. I looked up into her face to glare at her and was surprised to see her staring at me with such a tangible intensity. Her green eyes were glowing with regret. My anger was slowly dissipating and a blush rose to my cheeks. Why did she have to look at me like that?

"Yo," she said softly. "I'm sorry; that didn't come out right- I do care." Her fingers quickly brushed tears from my face. "It's just really fucking hard to think about him. I don't think you understand- but you can't if I don't explain, so I will explain."

"You… you don't have to," I stuttered as she let me go.

"But I realize that I want to," she gave me a sad smile before she took a seat on my bed. I sat next to her quickly and waited. She was silent for well over five minutes and my mind had begun to wander. Would she really tell me about Miroku? Could she go through with it?

"We met in 8th grade," she started softly as not to startle me after the long moment of silence. "Beautiful amethyst blue eyes and soft black hair were his 'chick magnets' as he liked to say."

I watched her carefully, and saw the pain rolling in waves in her eyes. She shut them and continued.

"I fell for him, surprisingly. It was surprising because he was a total whore. Every cute girl he saw, he flirted with and asked them to 'bare his children'. He was probably the only guy in the school who was likely to grab your ass every time you saw him. And despite the ridiculous way he acted all the time, I could tell that he was different around me. I could tell that I had the rights to that special guy that the other girls didn't."

She was silent and I took this opportunity to ask her a question.

"Did you… did you love him?"

She looked up with a slight smile and watering eyes.

"Yes, I loved him. He was my soul mate- the only one for me…."

I didn't say anything and she continued after looking away, "We started dating in ninth grade. From then on, my life was perfect- well… as perfect it could get. I was loving high school, my guardian was extremely lenient on curfew, and I was in love with the perfect guy for me. I lived in that bliss until the day he died. Then reality started crashing down on me.

"It was a normal night- Koga was hosting a party and we had been invited. It was great at first, but then… things got out of hand. I caught Miroku with a group of guys who had been drinking and getting high. He was shot off his ass," she sighed. "It took all of InuYasha's power to keep me from murdering Koga because he was the stupid dumbass who brought the shit. I eventually dragged Miroku out of there cussing the fucking shit out of him. He was arguing with me and he wasn't making any sense. I can't imagine how he would when his mind was off in la-la-land.

"He was screaming and swearing when I threw him into the car and tried to put his seatbelt on. He was getting a bit rough with me too, so I just let him be…. I didn't think it would-"

She choked up and started sobbing. I reached over and pulled her to me trying my best to comfort her.

"He was screaming and it was dark and I just couldn't concentrate with his ridiculous yelling. I didn't see the deer," she cried weakly.

I could barely make out what she was saying through her hysterical crying, "We crashed after we swerved and we went down this ridiculously steep embankment into the woods. I saw when he smashed against the dashboard and windshield. Blood was everywhere, I couldn't think. We were tumbling and I reached out for him. Glass went everywhere and I felt my own seatbelt give way and when we finally stopped… oh god, his face was…. He looked at me and did something that looked like smiling….but I couldn't tell because he face was so…so smashed up…. Blood was all over his face. My arms were pinned down by something and there was something cutting into my…. my back. I couldn't move and I had to sit there….. And…..and watch him die, Kagome. I was…I was in that wreck for nearly five hours just gazing at his dead and bloody face until… until someone discovered us the following morning. I couldn't… I couldn't hold him or anything… he just died…. And….."

I couldn't make sense of the words she was saying after that. I heard a few words like "seatbelts", "airbags", and "injuries" but her crying wasn't making it possible. She was shaking and crying and holding onto me so tightly. I finally realized why she didn't want to talk about it and I felt the worst regret possible. I realized there were tears on my cheeks as well.

"I'm so sorry Sango," I struggled to say due to her open display of pain. It just didn't seem right to me because in my eyes, Sango was an epitome of strength and resilience. It just didn't seem possible for her to be a broken mess in my arms the way she was.

"I killed him Kagome. I didn't mean to- I didn't mean to crash," she continued to cry.

She was a total mess. I didn't know what to do. I just held her close to me for a long time. I could feel my shirt soaking in her tears. Her sobbing subsided minutes later. I looked down at her weak and trembling form in my arms. Her eyes were still leaking tears.

"It wasn't your fault Sango," I said gently. I felt her tense in my arms, her body shaking stiffly.

"I could've fought harder to get him strapped in," she whispered with tears still leaking from her eyes.

"No, Sango. He could've hurt you."

"Hurting is better than death."

"Sango," I said firmly.

She looked up at me with the most pathetic look on her face. Her eyes were sullen and ridiculously red. Her lips were trembling and her face was red and swollen. I felt my face soften and I didn't realize I was so tense until then. It was also when I realized that this might've been the first time Sango had shared this personal nightmare with anyone. She had probably never shared that traumatizing memory with anyone.

"I wish I had died with him."

I clenched my jaw, but kept my mouth shut. I wanted to reply- but there was really nothing that I could say. Everything that kept popping into my head didn't seem… potent enough. In the end, I felt a depression seep into me. She fell asleep eventually, still crying. As I watched her sleep I realized that even though I hadn't known her those years before- Koga was absolutely right.

She had died right alongside Miroku that night.

Wow. Intense huh?
Review Please! I'd like to know what you think.
-Enigmatic Ethereality