My Immortal XVIII
The gods had agreed to allow Ares, Xena, and Apollo to remain on Olympus while the council was in recess for lunch. The majority of the gods went to their own private domains to enjoy their meals, but a few had opted to eat in the large dining hall. Xena and Ares joined the party that dined at the ridiculously long banquet table. Most of those who had chosen to eat in the dining room were Xena supporters. Cupid, Psyche, and Bliss were in attendance, as were Aphrodite, Demeter, and Celesta. Demeter sat at the head of the table, her daughters Persephone and Despoina sat at their mother's right and left hands respectively. The gods dined heartily on ambrosia and down cupfuls of nectar. Ares had made a quick trip to Athens in order to get Xena a serving of mortal food. She felt out of place noshing on lamb chops and roasted carrots. A few gods looked at her food with pity, others with disdain. It tasted great, that was all that really mattered. She washed it down with red wine and noticed that wine was one mortal indulgence that the gods seemed to enjoy with gusto.
Bacchus came up behind Xena, he was holding a black amphora, red nudes danced around its surface. "May I refill you goblet, dear mortal?"
Xena reluctantly lifted her cup for the red-skinned god to fill. She wasn't sure if she could trust his vintage. She didn't drink the wine right away. Instead, she swirled it around in the golden chalice and brought it up to her nose. Would he have the nerve to poison her right here in front of all the gods? Such a bold move was certainly within his character, she decided. She inhaled deeply, searching the bouquet of scents for anything potentially deadly to mortals. Sensing nothing dangerous, Xena took a sip, letting the wine linger on her palate a bit longer than she normally would've. "Thank you, Bacchus."
"You're very welcome," he purred and ran his pointed fingernails across the silken sheen of her raven hair.
"Hands to yourself," Ares warned.
"Dear, dear brother, what is the use in me voting to bring her into the fold, if you don't intend to share? Surely, you won't be so stingy when you attend the orgies."
"I think we'll be skipping the orgies," Xena smiled at Bacchus.
"Oh, all newlyweds say that, Warrior Princess. But eternity is a long time. You'll grow bored of each other, eventually."
Ares squeezed Xena's left hand under the table. She could tell it was killing him not to throw a fireball at his devious brother. "Oh, I don't know, Ares and I are pretty creative. I have many skills."
The table roared with laughter. Bacchus even chuckled at Xena's ribald comment.
Ares leaned into Xena's ear, "You know I could never get bored of you, don't you?"
Xena turned slightly toward him and whispered, "I know if you ever cheat on me, I'll show you some of my more creative carving skills."
Ares swallowed hard but didn't answer.
AXAXAXAXAXAXAX
Apollo eyed Xena throughout dinner. Xena tried her best to just ignore him. She could see he was seething below the surface. He fidgeted with his food instead of eating and he offered an occasional fake smile that unnerved her. While others engaged in various conversations from mundane weather talk to more serious political concerns, Apollo sat tight lipped, just watching her. Ares had noticed his brother's seeming obsession with the warrior woman. In an effort to keep the lunch civil, he also chose to ignore the golden god. When the servers brought in the after dinner tea service, Apollo excused himself and walked out onto the west-facing balcony.
Xena turned to Ares, "I am going to go have a word with your brother."
Ares held Xena's elbow, "I am not sure that's such a good idea. It's not likely that you'll change his vote and you many only end up angering him more."
"I am not afraid of his wrath. I've faced down much more sinister gods than Apollo," she kissed him on the cheek, leaving no question as to just which sinister god she was referring.
Ares offered no further argument but moved to a seat where he could see the balcony without making it obvious that he was keeping a watchful eye on his love.
Apollo was sipping his strong brew from a simple white porcelain cup. It was so delicate that it reminded Xena of similar pieces she had seen only in Chin.
"Can I have a word, Apollo?"
"I get what he sees in you, you know. You are beautiful. You have an magnificently acerbic wit. Your body, well, you have the body of a goddess. And I bet your touch is electrifying."
Xena was taken aback by his compliments. She thought he'd been staring at her with hatred, not curiousity.
"But he betrayed his family. His family, Xena. That's hard to forgive. Could you have killed your brother for him? Or stood by while he killed your brother?"
It was a question that Xena had never contemplated. If Ares's actions with the Romans and the Amazons had led to Eve's death or if Gabrielle or Cyrene had died at his hands, could she have forgiven him. Could she have stood by and watched while he killed Toris or Lyceus? Could she have helped? Because that was exactly what he'd done. She would've never defeated Athena if it hadn't been for him. Xena opened her mouth but didn't answer. She couldn't. She needed to give the question some thought.
"It's okay, I guess you've already forgiven him for killing your brother. Haven't you?"
"What?" Xena shook her head.
"Lyceus. You said earlier that you still hated the warlord that struck the killing blow."
"Yes, of course. It's hard to forgive that. I've tried. I've let go of some of the anger but the pain, the pain remains as acute today as the day he died."
"But you've forgiven Ares his involvement in the deed? Why? How? Isn't the god who planned the attack as culpable as the warlord he carried it out? Mortals, I guess I'll never understand your reasoning," Apollo shook his head and headed back into the dining hall.
Ares saw the smug look on Apollo's face as he walked back in and then looked beyond him. The look of devastation that marred Xena's perfect features worried Ares. What had Apollo said to her? What had he done? The conversation had been short and it hadn't looked heated from Ares' vantage point. What lies could he have told her that could have affected her so?
Ares glared at his brother as he made his way out to the balcony where Xena stood with her mouth agape.
"Xena, baby, we should be heading back to the council chamber." Ares placed his hand low on her back.
She turned to face him. "I don't think I can."
"What do you mean?"
"I am not sure I can do this? Any of this."
"Xena, you're scaring me. What did he say? What did that bastard say to you?"
"Can we go somewhere, somewhere more private?I have to ask you something."
Ares didn't like the way things were shaping up. He took her hand and transported them to his private quarters on Olympus. Xena looked at the messed up bed behind him. All of this had felt so good, so right. Being with him felt like heaven. He felt like home. Then she remembered that that's what demons did, they lured you in with the promise of comfort and luxury while they twisted and tormented your soul. Was her love for him, her lust for him, her desire turning her mind from the truth? Had he changed or was he just as evil as he ever was? Did she deserve this happiness? Was it happiness? Was it a false sense of rightness? Where was Gabrielle when she needed her? She'd left her. Left her best friend for him. What had he once called her? Her pesky little friend! She needed Gabrielle, she needed her now.
"Xena, is this okay? We can go anywhere you like." Ares caressed her cheek gently. He hated the confusion, fear, and pain he saw roiling like a storm across her impossibly blue eyes.
"It was you? You killed Lyceus?" She asked in a broken whisper.
"Xena. I don't know what you're talking about."
"Cortese, he answered to you!" She accused.
"No, that's not exactly right." Ares corrected. He didn't like where this line of questioning was going.
"He wasn't one of your warlords?"
"No, not like you were. He sacrificed to me, sure. He worshipped me. He even dedicated a temple to me once. But, he wasn't the head of my army. I never even officially favored him in any way."
"Did you order him to attack Amphipolis?" She asked him point blank.
She saw the guilt in his face before he answered. He hung his head, his shoulders sagged in defeat.
"You did! Of course, you did." Xena headed for the door. Ares grabbed her roughly.
"No, Xena, you are going to hear me out."
"Fuck you, I am leaving!" She shouted and tried to jerk out of his grip. He clamped down hard on her wrist which caused her shoulder to nearly pop out of its socket.
"You're not going anywhere." He used his powers to bolt and seal the door shut.
"Oh, so now you're going to keep me prisoner?"
"If that's what it takes. You won't leave me again, Xena. I won't let you. Especially not over a misunderstanding brought about by Apollo."
"Lyceus," she wailed. Her brother was one of the very few subjects about which she could not think rationally. She still blamed herself for his death, she couldn't forgive herself for her part in it, no matter how hard she tried. And now that she knew that Ares was directly involved, she didn't know if she could forgive him.
"Listen, Xena. His army was part of a larger campaign against Macedonia. I did not order him to attack your village. My general told him to gather supplies and meet up with his legion in Phillipi. I guess that your city-state was the most convenient town for him to sack on the way. I didn't order it directly, Xena. Hades, my general didn't even name Amphipolis as a target. Cortese chose the target himself. Your valley was rich in those days, good sheep country. It was just a consequence of war."
"War," Xena muttered as the tears streamed down her face. "It was war or rather my lust for war that got him killed in the first place."
"No, Xena. You know you've never talked to me much about it but from what I've pieced together, it seems you were just the best equipped in your village to stand up to a greedy warlord. That any of you survived at all is a testament to your innate skills as a warrior. What you did with no formal training is quite impressive. I am sure that Lyceus admired you. He couldn't have hated you for standing up for your people. Xena, he chose to stand with you. That's what family does."
"Is that right? Then why didn't you stand with yours when I went on a killing spree across Olympus?"
"I did! I stood with you! It took me a while to realize it but when push came to shove there was only one person I could stand with. My love, my life, my family. You!"
Xena felt the truth of his words. He had changed. She didn't need Gabrielle's moral compass anymore. She felt the goodness in him. It warmed her. She reached out her hand and beckoned him into the bed with her. He joined her and laid her down gently on the mattress, kissed her deeply, and wiped her tears while she mourned her brother.