Ricky's blood was everywhere.

Donnie could see a dark black trail leak out of his nose as he bent down and cradled the other boy's head in his lap. The trail dripped off his chin and smeared bright red under Donnie's fingers.

"I'm s-sorry." His throat felt like sandpaper and his whole face ached. He could smell the sweet smell of pine trees as he felt Ricky's shaking hands grasping at his elbows. It shouldn't have happened like this. He shouldn't have let this happen.

"Why didn't you help me?" Ricky's hand suddenly reached up blindly to grasp his. His hand was shockingly cold as his wild and fearful eyes stared up at him.

"I'm s-sorry. I d-didn't believe you."

"Why didn't you help me?" Ricky repeated except now he had Gretchen's eyes and his skin was suddenly smooth and perfect like hers. The details filled in just as suddenly as he thought of her.

Her glassy dead eyes stared coldly up at him.

---

The nightmare was so vivid that when he woke he felt as if he was being torn from reality and that the white halls of the hospital were really a dream.

---

Donnie found Ricky furiously writing in a notebook tucked away in a corner in the main rec area. His hair looked sloppy and he had a couple days worth of stubble but he looked mostly alright. He sat in the empty chair next to him and stared at his shoes for a couple minutes as he waited for him to finish.

Ricky closed the notebook carefully and watched him twitch for half a second before saying; "Why are you nervous?"

Donnie stopped chewing on his sweatshirt string and looked up at him. "You need my help right? I'll do it. I'll help you. Whatever you want, I'll do it."

Ricky looked into his eyes solidly, reading him like a damn book. "What changed your mind?" He finally asked.

"Do you have all my memories now or something?" Donnie twitched under the knowing gaze. Images of Ricky's crumpled bloody body floated through his head and he wondered if it showed in his eyes.

"I only get her memories… I think. I don't even know if they're real." The question hung between them. Only Donnie could tell him if they were true or not.

"It hurts to have hope." Donnie whispered after a long moment of silence.

"It hurts not too." Ricky's fingers unexpectedly interlaced with his. Their palms kissing as their thumbs interlocked. His grip was shockingly warm.

Donnie felt so stupid for not wanting the moment to end.