Ch 25: Cry for Help

Spock's body fell to the ground. It had seemed like centuries since he had last moved. Raising his head up from where he lay, he saw Gabriel unconscious feet away from him. Now was his chance! While his darker self was incapacitated, he could rally the help of his lighter self and hopefully push him back down again! He concentrated as hard as he could and heard his voice both inside his own head and all around him.

I do not know how it happened, but Gabriel has lost control! If you can hear me, please answer!

His lighter self spoke, though very weakly. Well done Spock. However, I am far too weak to be of assistance to you. Gabriel has overpowered me as well and I fear it is not so easy for me to recover. I am afraid this is a battle you will have to fight alone. You must find it within yourself to regain control.

No, I cannot! Spock's voice was filled with fear. I cannot handle him on my own! If you are not able to assist me while he is unconscious then all is lost as soon as he recovers!

"Spock?"

He heard a voice he had not truly heard in a long time. His heart lifted as he realized that Kirk was there with him. Kirk! It's Kirk! If he is here then perhaps I can find the strength to overcome Gabriel! He concentrated once more and felt himself rise out of his subconscious. When he opened his eyes, he found himself sitting in the brig. Surprised, he looked around him to be certain he wasn't dreaming. No, he really was in the brig. But why?

Spock turned his head and saw Kirks face for the first time in so long. He felt himself smile in spite of his current predicament. Unfortunately, his t'hy'la did not return the smile. Rising from his place on the floor, he placed his hands on the invisible barrier that divided the brig from the hall. Still smiling, he said, Jim, it is so good to see you again. It feels like it has been an eternity since we last saw each other.

Kirk gave Spock a weird look. "What are you talking about?" he asked. "You just saw me on the planet!" The smile on Spock's face quickly vanished. "The planet? You mean we've already arrived at and explored the planet?"

"Yeeeah", Kirk said, now utterly confused. "Spock, you're not telling me that you remember absolutely nothing about what happened on the planet, are you?"

Spock now gave Kirk a weird look to match the one he saw. "Jim, the last thing I remember doing was falling asleep in your arms last night. I have had absolutely no control of my body since then." He looked at Kirks horrified face and feared the worst. He then spotted the bandage on his neck and asked, "How did you hurt your neck? What happened?"

Kirk was now at a complete lost for words. There was no way that Spock could not remember anything that had happened in the last six hours! He had done such crazy and drastic things that no one could ever just forget without a memory erasure! His theory was swiftly being confirmed the longer he talked with Spock. He came closer to the invisible barrier between them and removed his bandage, revealing his wound. Spock gasped softly at the sight of it. "Were you injured during the exploration?"

"No Spock," Kirk said, swallowing the hard knot that was in his throat. He couldn't believe that Spock really had no recollection of any that had happened that day. "You…you bit my neck in the elevator while we were going to the bridge this morning. You did this to me. You also mind melded with me while I slept."

Spock's already pale skin grew paler. He slowly shook his head, unable to conceive the fact that he had not only inflicted such a wound on his beloved, but have violated one of the greatest laws of his people. His hands pressed hard against the invisible barrier. "No…it cannot be. I would never force a mind meld on you or anyone, especially when you are in such a vulnerable state and unable to give consent if you wanted to. And I would never hurt you…not after what I did to you before. You know that…"

Kirk sighed sadly. "It's not just me that you hurt Spock. You also attacked Doctor McCoy in his quarters earlier this morning and critically wounded Lieutenant Azrael Andrews while we were exploring the planet together. You snuck away from Doctor McCoy and I and attacked him. If McCoy didn't have his hypo with him, you would have killed him."

"Why would I do that?" Spock asked, completely baffled. "I do not even know who this Lieutenant Azrael Andrews is…" He dropped his head and closed his eyes. The hands that lay flat on the barrier balled up into fists. His whole body shook as he struggled to hold in his sadness, but the tears fell from his eyes anyway. A choked sob escaped his lips, sending a dagger through Kirk's heart. That was the proof he needed. The fact that Spock wasn't even aware of what he had done told him that something was going on beneath the surface that no one else could see.

"Spock," Kirk breathed. He placed his palms over Spock's balled fists on his side of the barrier. "What's going on? Why don't you remember anything? How can you not remember anything?" Stifling another sob, Spock looked up at Kirk, his eyes green rimmed and his cheeks moist. At that moment Kirk would have given anything to hold Spock in his arms and rock him gently, but after what he had done, he couldn't trust that he'd be safe. Spock reopened his hands and placed his forehead on the barrier. He gasped for air so that he could speak, but the pain in it heart made it hard.

Regaining his composure, he began to explain. "Do you remember last night when I told you I was losing control? That I was afraid of myself?" Kirk nodded. "The worst possible scenario has happened. During the time when I…went on a rampage, I was being controlled by the darker side of me. He calls himself Gabriel. While I slept last night, he overpowered me and blocked my senses. The entire time you say I was walking around and doing these horrible things, I was completely unaware of my surroundings; all I saw was my subconscious."

"So you're basically saying that an alternate personality had taken over and caused you to do all the things you've done?" Kirk knew exactly what that entailed, and it meant that even if Azrael passed away, Spock would have insanity as his defense. Not a great excuse, but one that could save him. Spock nodded and said, "Yes. My condition is not unlike the mental disorder known as schizophrenia among humans. I am sad to say this condition has been worsened by the emotional events of late."

"My meditations are no longer effective Jim," Spock said, his voice shaking. "I cannot control my emotions anymore, which means merging the two halves of me into one is impossible. And now…" A sob broke through his speech, anguish sweeping over him. Kirk couldn't stand not being able to comfort the man he loved. Quickly recollecting himself, Spock said, "Help me…I cannot do this on my own…please…"

As he spoke, he heard Gabriel's voice ring in his ears.

SPOCK!

Spock's teary eyes were suddenly filled with fear. He shook his head and backed away from the barrier. "No…please, stay away. I do not want to go back into the darkness…" Again Gabriel screamed his name.

SSSPOOOOOCK!

Spock covered his ears and doubled over as if in pain. He screamed, "NOO! GO AWAY!"

"Fight him!" Kirk yelled, banging on the barrier. "Fight him Spock! You can do it! Don't let him win!"

Spock dropped to his knees, grabbing fistfuls of his hair. "I…I cannot! He is too strong…please! Get Prime! Get Spock Prime!" With a vanquished scream, Spock's body fell limp onto the floor. Kirk pressed his body against the barrier, wishing he could rush to Spock's side, but was held back. He knew that Gabriel had gained control and couldn't go near him for his own safety, but he didn't care. He'd risk it all for Spock's sake.

"SPOCK!" Kirk screamed. The still body of Spock lay for a moment then slowly rose again. A cruel smile clung to his lips as he looked at Kirk. "I'm sorry," he said. "Spock isn't available at the moment. You can redirect any communications for him to me."

"Damn you Gabriel," Kirk sneered. "So help me I will force you out of that body and give Spock rightful control of it. Mark my words! Your days are numbered!"

Spock laughed maniacally. "I'd like to see you try it, lover."

Kirk scowled at the man who moments ago was the real Spock and whirled away. Before leaving, he said to one of the security officers, "Keep an eye on him. No matter what he tells you, don't you dare let him out of that room." Acknowledging the security officer's curt nod, he stormed off, ignoring the mad laughter of the Vulcan still in the brig.

"Schizophrenia?!?" McCoy asked, shocked at the news. Kirk had gathered his commanding officers into the conference room to discuss the issue of Spock's sudden change in behavior. He sat at the head of the table with everyone else sitting alongside the table on either side of him.

Kirk nodded. "Well, it's kinda like schizophrenia. It's not entirely a split personality so much as a different side of Spock. It's probably the side of him that he doesn't let anyone see because of the behavioral expectations of a Vulcan. This side is violent, emotional, possessive, jealous..."

"…and smiles a whole freakin' lot," interjected Sulu. Kirk glared at him. "What?!? You can't tell me the rest of you haven't been thinking it too. And I'm sure I don't speak for you Captain, since you like seeing him smile, but for the rest of us, it's really creepy!" Scotty, Chekhov, and McCoy nodded in agreement.

"I happen to think he has a beautiful smile," Uhura said, crossing her arms and frowning.

Kirk muttered under his breath, "Yeah, you would." He cleared his throat and ignored the icy stare he got from Uhura. "The point is the guy we've dealt with since this morning hasn't been Spock. Spock called this other side of him 'Gabriel', and whoever he is he's wrecking some major havoc. Azrael's in critical condition, McCoy was attacked by him in his quarters earlier this morning and he… uh…he bit my neck…"

An uncomfortable look covered the faces of his fellow officers, causing him to blush profusely. "In any case," he continued, "something has to be done to help him. Since this isn't just some chemical imbalance in his head, this is some kind of internal conflict that he's fighting…and losing. He's completely lost his ability to maintain a balance of his darker side and his lighter side. I have no idea what the cause of it could be, but I have an idea…" Uhura and Kirk shared a look that lasted briefly. "If we don't find some way to help him, and soon, there's a good chance that Spock will go insane."

Scotty raised his hand to ask a question. "Uh, Captain, that's all well and good, but who in tha world can help Spock from an internal conflict?

Taking a deep breath, Kirk said, "Himself." Everyone gave Kirk a funny look, much like he expected. He elaborated, "I take it no one remembers much about the Nero incident. Well, I'll paraphrase. Nero came to our world because the Spock of an alternate timeline created a miniature black hole using red matter while attempting to save Romulus from a star that went super nova. The Spock of that timeline still exists in this timeline. It was pretty obvious he'd have no way back since he entered through a black hole, and with Vulcan destroyed he decided to it was best to stay and help rebuild the Vulcan race. He's currently residing on the new Vulcan colony."

It was Chekhov's turn to speak up. "But I still don't understand how a different Spock can be of any help for our Spock. After all, you did say this ees an internal conflict." The young Russian was right to be concerned. "To be honest," Kirk said, "I don't know either. But if anyone could have a solution for this problem, it'll be him. He's the only one who knows what Spock is going through right now and has a better chance of helping than any of us. I plan to send him a transmission alerting him of the situation and see if either he can come here or if we should go to him. I don't think I have to tell you what will happen if Spock Prime isn't able to help Spock. However, right now he's the only hope we got to set things right. Are we in agreement?"

Satisfied by the nods he received, though they were lacking enthusiasm and certainty, Kirk stood from his seat and looked at his fellow officers. "I'll send the transmission to Spock Prime in my quarters and alert you of the outcome. Dismissed."

He watched as everyone rose from their seat. McCoy walked by him, clapped a hand on his shoulder and said, "You know where to go if you need someone to talk to." Placing a hand over his, Kirk nodded. McCoy gave a final squeeze and walked out of the room. Soon everyone in the room had left. Everyone that is, except for Uhura. She stayed in her seat and stared at Kirk.

Catching her gaze, Kirk asked coldly, "Is there something you need to say?" She winced at the tone of his voice, but held her ground. Nodding slowly, she rose from her seat and walked over to Kirk, who watched her cautiously. Drawing a breath, she said, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Kirk said, scoffing. She cut an angry eye at him and said, "Yes, I'm sorry. You were right. Spock and I were never meant to be together. I think I always knew it, but I didn't want to admit it. I just wanted him to be the one for me, you know? But after you said what you did in transporter room and with everything that's going on…I know I couldn't handle this nearly as well as you are. I can tell it's tearing you apart, but you're still carrying on, doing everything you can to help him."

She came closer to Kirk and looked up at him. His jaw was clenched, but there was no anger in his eyes, only sadness. She placed a gentle hand on his cheek and said, "Of all the people to steal Spock's heart away from me, I'm glad that it was you and not some other girl. I lost out to the better man, and I'm bowing out gracefully."

Uhura removed her hand and smiled sadly at Kirk, who suddenly seemed to have trouble holding himself together. "Even though your offering to comfort to me when Spock broke up with me was probably in bad taste, I still owe you for it. If you need to talk to someone and McCoy's not available, you can always come to me. I want us to be friends."

Kirk smiled softly back at her and nodded. As she walked away from him, he said, "Thanks Uhura. I really appreciate it."

She stopped just before she left the room and turned around. Smiling, she said, "You can call me Nyota," then left the room.