A/N: Erm, so I've gotten to chapter 28, writing wise (page 200! o_o wow haha) and this story is really dynamic. Just thought I'd go ahead and tell you that.

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha or anything else mentioned in this story; duh. XD
Rated: Mature For crude language, sexual references, and mature situations.

CHAPTER 25

Last night seemed like a blur. I remembered most of it, but it was muddled by all of my worry and inner turmoil. However, lying there made me forget all of that confusion for just a small moment. Lying in her arms made it that much better. I was so grateful to have Sango as my friend again. I was never happier to see anyone in my life until I opened the door and saw Sango standing there and when she offered her apologies I felt as if I were too lucky to even exist.

And now… Now I was lying in her arms and I knew that she'd be there for me. I'd been awake for nearly an hour now, thinking about things; just anything I could think about really.

"Sango?" I asked quietly, wondering if she was awake.

"Yo," she greeted back, sleep in her voice.

I was silent, wondering what to say to her.

"I think… I think that if it's a girl," my voice hitched in my throat. "I'd want to name her after you."

Sango was silent and I had to wonder if I had offended her. I could tell that she was thinking hard about something because she was constantly adjusting the position of her legs; she used to tap her feet when thinking hard. I had to wonder if I had come on too forward with that idea… Sango had hated Koga for a really long time… maybe she didn't want his kid to have her name. I would hope that she'd look at it as my kid having her name…

"Sorry," I said, finally deciding to just erase what I had just uttered stupidly. "That was stupid; don't worry about that."

"No, wait," she said, obviously thinking. "I think that's a good idea."

I couldn't tell if she was lying to only support me and comfort me.

"Really? Because I mean…" I stopped, too embarrassed to continue.

We were silent for a little while and she shifted a bit beside me. I wish I knew what she was thinking. I couldn't see her face, and that made me a bit uneasy. Just as I was about to relinquish my comfort to sit up, she spoke.

"Do you want breakfast?"

"Uh, no," I said hesitantly. My stomach had been hurting a little, I wasn't sure if eating was the best idea.

"Oh… ok," she said, seemingly at a loss. It was all very awkward and I wondered if it would've been this way had I not gone and gotten myself pregnant. We would just be normal friends, right? We would hang out all the time and always have something to talk about and we'd say silly stuff like "I love you" and "let's be roomies in college" and we'd be happy, right? Could I still have that now? Was I allowed that happiness?

"I'm really glad we're friends again. I'm not sure if I told you this or not," I said with a blush and I could sense Sango's smile behind me. She removed her arms from me, however, and sat up. I turned my head to only see her looking down at me with a slight smile on her lips.

"Me too, Kagome," she said gently. I saw the intense truth of this in her eyes and smiled brightly.

"I love you," I said with a wide smile and I saw, for a split second, something strange flash across her face. It was gone as quickly as it came, however, and she smiled like it had never gone away.

"I… I love you too," she said. "But I want breakfast, so I'm going to go make some. I'd like if you came downstairs and kept me company though."

I did just that, watching her make breakfast. Kohaku was the first downstairs, obviously ready to go to school. Sango glanced at the clock and then back at me.

"Do you plan on going to school?" she asked me as she made some toast while Kohaku helped himself to what she had prepared.

"Uh, I guess so," I mumbled. I'd certainly be late now, and I needed to shower.

"Ah, well I guess you could take a shower and get ready while I take Kohaku to school and when I get back, I can take you."

"Ok," I replied, still feeling as if everything were in disarray. The Chaos Theory was taking full effect on my world and I felt that there was disorder everywhere despite how calm and quiet the house was.

School was pretty uneventful and I managed to stay focused the whole day. It was surprising, because the times when I wasn't doing a math problem, or analyzing a short story, or debating a solution for nuclear waste dumping sites, I was thinking about Sango. I was anxious to see her again and talk with her. I wanted to know what I missed while I was being a coward. I wanted to know what college she had gotten into, and how successful she was with studying on her own for her tests in May. She only had a couple of weeks now. Would she be taking them at school? Would she be there as I took my Calculus exam, taking hers as well?

I realized I had spent all of my time crying about my little mistake. So what if I had sex with Koga without a condom? So what if I was pregnant? I wasn't the only person in the world—my world. I wasn't the only one hurting. Sango was too. Her bruises were still fading, her hand was still swollen, her eyes were still dull and tired. I could see that she still longed for me every now and then.

The old me would've recoiled at that thought; she would have feared the possibilities of her best friend liking her. I was no longer the old me. I was the new me, matured by my own actions, and the idea of Sango still liking me after all the shit I put her through flattered me, firstly, and secondly, filled me with sorrow. I wish I could just give her what she wanted, for once, but I didn't love her that way.

I felt bad for saying "I love you" before. That was selfish. I could see, for a brief moment, her happiness at that statement. Right after, that was lost in a cloud of depression. I never dreamed that I'd be causing a single person that sort of pain. I never saw myself as anything out of the ordinary—I was nothing special.

So why did Sango like me the way she did? Why did Koga like me the way he did?

That day, I ate lunch with Koga. He seemed a bit tired himself. I realized I had been neglecting him as I had been worrying about my own problems. Perhaps now wouldn't be the time to tell him that he'd be a father in a little over half a year? He was graduating next month. That would only serve to stress him out—he might decide he would want nothing to do with me or the child I would soon mother.

The thought of it made me nauseas.

"Koga, you look a little tired," I approached gently, during lunch.

We were lying outside in the bed of his friend's truck. The trees that lined the parking lot provided us with a comfortable shade. I believe he had intended to take a nap, and I felt a little bad for interrupting that.

"Yeah, I guess I am," he mumbled, seemingly very close to sleep. "I've been really busy lately. Chasing after the kids, track meets, school…"

He yawned and I found him increasingly adorable. This was the boy a fell in love with. I never meant to be a stress to him.

"Koga," I breathed deeply, trying to find the courage to tell him…

He hummed his reply, obviously too tired to form coherent words.

"I…"

He turned to look at me with his tired, beautiful blue eyes, sensing something was wrong. For a brief moment, he looked worried.

"I miss you," I chickened out.

He looked guilty for a moment and then frowned.

"I'm sorry," he said before offering a handsome smile. "I promise we'll spend some time together during break."

He winked at me, touching my nose with his index finger, then caressing my lower lip very briefly. He then moved forward and kissed me gently and swiftly before pulling back. He shut his eyes before I could reply and I decided to leave him be for the rest of the lunch period. He was stressed out too; perhaps that was where my notion of him being repulsed by me came from.

I thought about Koga a little more that day, in my last class. He'd make a good father, I realized, because he'd had so much practice with his younger brothers and sisters. The real question would be if he wanted to be one so soon. Funnily, he wouldn't have a choice in the matter and I felt terrible for forcing something so potently important onto him. I know, "it takes two to tango" but I still felt at fault. It was I who suggested sex, for a minute or two, without protection. Just to know how it felt, and it honestly it didn't feel any different. I only felt stupid afterwards. (1)

I realized I felt stupid a lot, nowadays.

At the end of the day I was heading out to the bus parking lot when I saw Sango standing there next to her car looking a little annoyed. She smiled lightly, however, when she spotted me and waved at me. I walked over, wondering if she was there to take me home.

"How was school?" she asked as she took my bag from me and put it in the car, answering my question.

"Alright," I muttered, getting in while she did the same.

"You pay attention in Taishou's class?"

I blushed a little, wondering why she singled out the class I had been slacking in.

"Little pompous bastard decided to talk to me about you a week or two ago, I don't really remember, but he was worried about you and stuff and blamed me for your performance in his class."

"Oh," I blushed, embarrassed that she knew about that.

"I can help you study, if you want," she offered and I hummed softly, not quite accepting or declining. I didn't want to be a burden to her. She frowned, noticing my refusal to answer and sighed gently. I looked up and realized she wouldn't be looking at me, she wouldn't give any attention, she was driving. My eyes switched from her slightly swollen hand to the dwarfed ring finger on her other hand.

Sango was still Sango. She still had a midget finger, lost in an accident in which she almost lost her will to live. She still had all of her piercings, silver trinkets that adorned her body in an accentuating way. She still had a gorgeous green eyes that drew in the light of the day and reflected it back, amazingly well, during the evenings and nights.

She turned down the road which was heading the opposite direction of her house.

"Where are we headed?" I asked her, curious.

"I pick Asuka up from school every day," she replied and I was slightly envious. Asuka got to enjoy Sango and spend time with Sango. Asuka wasn't afraid to love her…

Did Sango love her? I was curious… I wanted to know.

"I'm just hoping I haven't made her wait too long; I wanted to get you first, though," she continued.

I wanted to smile at Sango, but she wasn't looking at me. It was as if she were fighting with everything inside of her to keep her eyes off of me.

We pulled into the front parking lot of the school and Sango got out of her car, leaving it running. Asuka was sitting on a cement bench with another boy of her age. The boy was obviously gay and Asuka was smiling and laughing with him. When Sango approached, she smiled and stood up, hugging the girl tightly.

I was slightly envious, and the brief kiss Sango gave her fueled that envy even more.

The boy was gushing over the two of them, his cheeks red with excitement. Asuka asked Sango something and the older girl blushed lightly, burying her fingers in her hair while replying. She gestured over to the car and Asuka waved at me shyly after a moment. She was undoubtedly cute; I could admit that much.

As the two walked back to the car and Asuka settled in the back, I greeted her.

"Hi," I offered a smile and she smiled back shyly.

"Hi Kagome," her eyes were slightly downcast in nervousness. I wondered how someone like Asuka ended up with Sango.

"Ok, you two, one more stop," Sango breathed. "It might take a while, though."

"Oh?" Asuka seemed curious.

"Kohaku decided to fuck up at school, so I have to go to a parent-teacher conference for Kagura because she's busy. It'll only take a few minutes, I'm hoping. Sorry to have to leave you two in the car," she said as she pulled into the parking lot of the middle school down the road.

"It's ok," I said and Sango nodded, parked, and exited the car. I watched her walk off, marveling at her height and overall presence. She was incredible, really—absolutely beautiful and almost flawlessly crafted.

As she disappeared into the doors, I turned to look at Asuka in the back seat. Her eyes met mine and she blushed, brightly.

"I was wondering," I began, slowly. "How'd you meet Sango?"

Asuka's blush intensified and I had to wonder why she was continuously blushing when it came to being around me.

"I… I met her at a party," she explained.

That was it? That was all? I don't remember Sango mentioning any parties before the ice skating trip… She did say that this girl was an old friend, though. So I suppose it added up.

"Sango's been worried about you," Asuka said, turning to look out of the window. "She really cares about you, you know?"

I found it odd that she switched to this topic. Perhaps she didn't want to talk about the first time she met Sango. Now that I think about it, I wouldn't share my first impressions of Sango either, because she had been a real bitch to me. But that was in the past, and I could look back and laugh at that. Sango wasn't formidable, in any way to me, anymore.

"Do you love her?" I asked, curious, suddenly. Sango deserved someone in her life that would love her unconditionally. Asuka seemed like a nice enough girl, but did she love Sango the way InuYasha did? Did she love her more than he did? Would Sango be able to love her back?

Asuka stuttered, not prepared for that question and I felt like apologizing, because it was totally left field. Was it my business anyways? Would Sango even tell me if she had fallen in love again?

"I… um… I care about Sango a lot," she began with a blush painting her pale cheeks lightly, "but I don't think we love each other."

I waited, but what I was waiting for never came. She never said "yet". Was she not being optimistic? Perhaps she was expecting Sango to get fed up with her and dump her sometime soon. Were they even dating? When I asked Sango about Asuka after the Naraku incident, she told me that she was her girlfriend, yet she said it in such a way that made it seem that they weren't really dating… Friends with benefits, perhaps? Was Sango having sex with her?!

God, I hoped not…Well, I mean, not because I was jealous or anything, but because this girl seemed really young. How old was she anyways? What was I talking about? I was probably the same age as Asuka… There wasn't an age restriction on sex—though it was obvious that some people of some ages just shouldn't do it.

I pursed my lips, trying to make something of this situation.

"Sango seems very amorous with you, though," I pressed. "Certainly she cares a lot for you."

Asuka suddenly scowled at me, and looked away. I was a little worried that I had annoyed her somehow and I struggled to find something to say. I bit my lip, finding the air of the car increasingly tense.

"I'm sorry, if I'm being too forward. I'm just curious, that's all. I want to hear that you love Sango and that she loves you. That's what I want to hear… After… after what happened, I only want to hear that she's moved on properly and that she's found love."

Asuka didn't reply and I sighed, feeling suddenly shitty. Perhaps Sango didn't love her, and she was anxious to tell Sango that she loved her, but she couldn't because that would make Sango feel weird.

"Are you in love?"

The question caught me off guard, but I was prepared to answer.

"Yes, I'm in love," I answered, smiling as I thought of my boy.

"Does he love you back?" she asked me.

I was proud to reply, "Yes."

She smiled, just slightly, and then it was gone.

"When Sango first told me about you, I think I hated you for a little while," she confessed, brushing back a bit of her short black hair. "Sango loved you, Kagome."

I bit my lip, knowing she wasn't going to leave it at that, but hoping that she would continue quickly.

"I realized, though, that you were in love and that he loved you back. That was all that mattered, right? That you were happy… I wanted to be angry with you, though... that's unreasonable. It's not your fault that Sango loves you, or that your boyfriend loves you, or that any other person loves you. It's not your fault that you love your boyfriend and not Sango."

Where was she going with this?

"It's not Sango's fault for not loving me," she finished and smiled, again, briefly.

Silence over took us and I tried to make sense of the strange, quiet girl.

"Kagome?" she asked me, after moments of silence. I turned to look at her again, and the expression on her face was that of someone who was troubled. Was something bothering her?... I suddenly felt worried for her.

"Uh, yeah?"

She shifted her gaze away from my eyes, shyly, and her cheeks gained a soft pink tint.

"If… if I broke up with Sango, what would you say?"

My heart gave an extra hard thud in my chest, or so it seemed. My mouth was suddenly dry. Was she contemplating breaking up with Sango?

"I…uh, I don't know what I'd say. I mean, if you had a good reason, then I couldn't say anything really," I mused aloud while playing with a lock of my jet black hair. "But if you broke up with her, for no reason at all, I'd have to question you."

"Well," she said, as if coming to a conclusion. "Thank you."

"Huh?" I asked, feeling stupid. What the heck just happened? I was utterly confused.

"Oh, and for the record, Sango and I are not having sex," she said, with a blush and a soft laugh. "I could tell you were thinking it, when you asked if I loved Sango."

What? I didn't understand. Whatever the case, I felt a bit more comfortable with her, strangely enough.

"Oh, well that's good," I said and she made a strange face. "Well, I mean, it's not good that you're not having sex—uh, what I mean is that it is—actually, no. Ok," I gave an exasperated sigh. "What I mean is, don't rush into it…"

Asuka laughed, and I blushed, but smiled back through my embarrassment. Being tongue tied was really starting to tire me.

"Are you having sex with your boyfriend?" she asked me, and my blush multiplied ten fold.

"I… um, yeah," my face was on fire, I knew it. I somehow felt as if the tables had been turned on me and Asuka was the one asking me all of the embarrassing questions. I didn't really want to answer them, but no harm could've come from it, so I did. It wasn't like she was going to tell my mom or something, and Sango already knew—why I felt like Sango knowing was something big, I didn't know.

"Is he your first?"

I made sure to keep my eyes on anything other than Asuka.

"Yeah," I blushed. "My first love too."

"You're lucky, you know," she spoke gently, and I looked up to find her dark eyes cast across the parking lot. It was then I realized Asuka was very pretty. She was poised and delicate—lady-like—and her posture was the first indication of that. Her hesitant smile served only to make her seem more fragile, as did her shy looks and thin, pale face.

"What about you?" I asked. "Was your first your first love?"

She smiled hesitantly, briefly, once again and I wondered if she only found what she thought, funny for a quick moment. Perhaps my question had been ironic, or served to create some sort of wry humor in her mind.

"My first was Sango," she said, and I suddenly felt duped. Had she lied to me? I thought she said that they weren't…

"It... It happened a little while ago, before we were dating," she shook her head, looking embarrassed. "We were at a party and there was alcohol."

"Oh…" I felt bad for taking it so personally. I suddenly felt a little tired, and my stomach hurt a little more.

"I do want a chance to try it again, though," Asuka muttered with a brilliant blush. "The right way, for the right reasons." (2)

So her first time was a drunken mistake, at a party? I felt bad. I always felt that girls viewed their first times as sacred—at least I did. And it was a sick irony that she ended up with the person she lost her virginity to, and yet that person didn't love her.

Wait, how could she lose her virginity to a girl?

I was itching with curiosity, but as I was going to ask her, Sango was heading back with Kohaku and she looked disgruntled. Oh, these next few minutes were bound to be unpleasant. Sango looked thoroughly pissed.

1-Lol, dummy. Now, I have no knowledge of this kind of thing whatsoever, so if my information here is wrong, I apologize.
2- I didn't know where to put this one... anyways, I'm not sure if girls really do this; ya know, talk about... that stuff. haha, I'm kind of a loser with no close friends, so I wouldn't know (once again.) But I figure normal girls talk about this stuff, so hey! Here it is. XD

Sooo, I'm really anxious to finish this story (it's so close!! =D) And since I have chapters on stock, feel free to give me some sort of incentive to update... you know, like a review or something o that nature. Haha, thank you for reading! And I would love to hear more of my readers' opinions, a few of you have been very generous with feedback, and I appreciate that.
-Enigmatic Ethereality